Failure to Set-Up - Jim Kirk
Summary: Just an evening with Bones and Jim in which you want to set your friend Bones up with someone and your boyfriend, Jim, won’t let you.
Prompt: the “Aw, babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing.” scene from Parks and Recreation.
Warnings: language, friends bein’ friends
A/N: IT’S ALL DIALOGUE. s’not really a jim kirk fic, i guess. but there’s a reader x jim pairing. it’s friends talking to friends, making fun of friends, hanging out with friends. it’s a good ass time, folks.
Standing in the doorway of his office, Leonard glowered at you with his most exhausted scowl.
You would have been offended and thought the action to be a result of your sitting in his chair with your feet atop the desk had it not been for the large wet spot darkening the blue fabric of his uniform from rib to hip.
He held a towel to the lake-sized spot— a towel that you could only describe as the color of unbrushed teeth— and strands of his dark hair abandoned its clean ‘do to fall into his hazel eyes, his head tipped downwards.
You clicked your tongue and scoffed loudly in annoyance when he neared the desk and used the back of his PADD to swat at your boots repeatedly, only stopping when your feet hit the ground. “What the fuck’s your problem?”
“Ask me what’s on my shirt, (Y/N). Do me the great pleasure of askin’ that.” A sigh heavy enough to contain the weight of the world left his lips as he fell into the thinner, much smaller chair across the desk.
Frowning as you watched him struggle to hold his head up as if he was imitating an infant, you complied. “What is on your shirt, Leonard?”
“This, sweetheart, is the piss from a man’s bedpan,” he told you, rubbing his left eye with two of his fingers. “Now ask me how that happened.”
“How did that happen?” you almost deadpanned.
“One of his jackass ensign pals spilled somethin’ on the floor n’ slipped on it, knocked right into me.” He dropped his hands to sit on either of his knees. “Ask me what was in my hands.”
“I think I can connect the dots from here.”