even if it was by paulies doing

Client is every kind of -ist. Boss isn't having it, gets one client fired, his replacement replaced.

This happened a few weeks ago, and I’m still in awe of my boss, who made it happen. I work as a private security officer for a small but well respected company. The higher-ups are masters at getting contracted for big-name clients and they treat us employees very well.

We had been subcontracted by a larger security firm to run event security for a certain tech company’s event during a certain famous film festival. Some serious money was being thrown around to make this event happen, I was told $75k per day just to rent out the venue, $6 Million worth of equipment, the list goes on. It was a big deal. Our client’s representative, who we’ll call Paulie, was a New York native with a thick Brooklyn accent and wouldn’t have been out of place on the set of The Sopranos. He’d been flown in from his base of operations just to oversee this event. It soon became clear that he was going to cause problems. First off, the agreement between my firm and our client was to provide asset protection, meaning we were to make sure that none of the expensive, yet highly portable electronic equipment went missing. Yet as soon as we got there, Paulie decided to ignore all that and had us working the doors as glorified bouncers. All our previous instructions were to be ignored and Paulie was God. This pissed us off a bit, as we had picked our people with unobtrusive asset protection in mind, but whatever, we’re professionals and we’ll roll with it. Second, Paulie was an a**hole. Everything we did was wrong somehow, even when we did exactly what he wanted us to, we were doing it wrong. He’d berate the poor officer right in front of everyone. He’d change our instructions on a whim and get mad at us for not complying with the new instructions before everyone had a chance to be informed. Third, and arguably worst, Paulie was an -ist of every type. Racist, ageist, sexist, he was the worst. We brought in female officers and he’d inevitably stick them in the most out-of-the-way posts he could to make sure they didn’t have to interact with the tech people. Same went for every officer Paulie thought was over 35. Since we were working 12 hour shifts, we tried to rotate everybody through every post, but he’d take over the rotation and stick the “old” and female officers out of sight. It got to the point where we were seriously considering quitting the contract and we NEVER do that.

Enter my boss. Let’s call him Rick. Rick is ex military and his thing is he Gets Shit Done. Rick, like several of us, is a licensed Private Investigator as well as a Security Officer. Rick is borderline OCD when it comes to keeping records. Rick has hidden cameras. Rick wore a wire and recorded a lot of Paulie’s shit. That shit then hit the fan when Rick passed off supervision of the site to me for the day and went to a meeting with the higher-ups from my company and a conference call with the higher-ups from Paulie’s company, let’s call them D*cks and A**holes Inc, or D&A. The next afternoon, the A in D&A showed up and took Paulie into one of the rooms the tech people had been using for demos earlier that day and spent over an hour yelling at him. One of our people, a female officer with 15 years of experience, who had worked security at the freaking PENTAGON, and who had been shoved in a corner nevertheless heard the whole thing go down, as she was posted outside the door. According to her, Paulie said several stupid things, but the one that stuck out was, “These guys are weak! They’re bringing in freaking GIRLS…!” before being told to shut the hell up. Paulie was fired right there and escorted off the property. The next day, those of us who hadn’t been there to see it were told the whole story and we reveled in the fact that we wouldn’t have to deal with Paulie anymore. Morale, which had been at historically low levels, shot through the roof.

This would be a good place to stop the story, but as the infomercials say, “Wait! There’s more!”

A took over. Remember him? The A**hole in D*cks & A**holes, Inc? He was worse, in different ways. He was just as bad as Paulie, but he was much, much more subtle about it. And, I can’t stress this enough, he was an A**HOLE.

He tried to get me fired for talking to the client, the tech company’s people. The event was winding down by this point, and I had asked the guy in charge of the tech people a question about continuing security needs. Turns out, the tech company was taking their stuff out of the demo rooms and therefore wouldn’t need those rooms secured anymore, so we didn’t need an officer for that post anymore. A was livid that I had spoken to the client without his say-so and that I had “cost us THOUSANDS!” by so doing, which was total bullshit. A went to Rick and yelled at him about it, too. Rick, however, had my back and just shrugged the whole thing off.

This is going long, so I’ll sum up. Rick was eventually forced to employ the same tactics he had used against Paulie and another conference call was made. Turns out, D&A had been bought out by another company, and since A was a founder, he didn’t get fired, but he did get sent home and yet another guy from the bigger company was flown out to oversee the last few days. That guy was pretty cool and we had no further problems.

The icing on the cake is that the tech company had seen all the bullshit my people had been put through and had been impressed with us. We’ve been asked to provide security services for their next event.


UNIVERSEBOUND - [available on redbubble + centi]

Paulis, Stess, Jarid(ot) and Coo! also Centikraken

hello i love the earthbound kids with my entire whole heart and heres me inevitably rubbing my horrible hands all over them

this is also roughly my headcanon heights for the eb kids. i love tall paula..

this disregards any ships from both source materials - DO NOT REPOST

George: How long have you been sleeping with John?

Paul: What?! I don’t even get- why would- I- I’ve never had sex with anyone anywhere! It’s none of your- you have the nerve, the audacity- and how- how do I know, frankly, that you’re not sleeping with him? Maybe you are. Maybe you’re trying to throw me off.


Paul Request

I hope you had a great thanksgiving!! Can I have a Paul imagine where he hasn’t join the pack and him and the reader are like best friend. Then the reader would date a vampire and that triggers the wolf inside of Paul, around Christmas the vampire left her and Paul is not talking to her because the whole wolf pack thing. Then she came running to Paul’s house and he imprints on her, lastly the vampire came back after the reader and Paul got together. Sorry that’s like a lot :/

You honked the horn playful as you pulled into Paul’s driveway; almost right away he came running out tugging on a flannel shirt over his t-shirt. “Good afternoon,” you cheerfully grinned. “You just wake up?”

“How can you tell,” he said blankly with a chuckle.

“Because I know you well enough. Oh, and there still some drool on your cheek,” you laughed as he quickly flailed his arm at his cheek and rubbed the saliva away.

“Tell me again why you wanted me to come out with you today.”

“I want you to meet Adrian,” you reminded him. You saw him snarl to himself. “Oh, stop that,” you swatted him. “He’s a nice guy.”

“A nice guy would take you out on a nice day, not a dark, rainy one like today. And he’d pick you up for that matter too.”

“He’d have to go out of his way to pick me up so we’re meeting there. You haven’t even met him why are you acting like you hate him?”

“Because as far as I’m concerned no guy is ever gunna’ be good enough for my best friend,” he said turned away from you so you couldn’t see his disappointed face. You ignored the tone in his voice and kept looking straight, maybe if he wasn’t your best friend you’d date the guy.

You pulled into the parking lot and turned off your car. “Paul,” you turned to him, “do me a favor. Pretend to like Adrian. Give him a shot, ok? We’ve been dating for two months now and he’s been good to me. Promise me you’ll give him a shot?”

“I promise.” With that you two jumped out of the car and booked it out of the rain and into the restaurant.

“There he is,” you smiled and waved. “Adrian, hey,” you walked over and hugged him. Paul watched as Adrian shot a glare towards him as you hugged him. “Adrian, this is my best friend Paul. Paul, this is Adrian.” As soon as he saw him something went off in Paul. He didn’t like the guy, his blood started to boil, he could feel himself starting to sweat.

“I’ve heard a lot about you Paul,” Adrian said offering his hand.

Paul fought the urge to recoil from the coldness of Adrian’s hand. “Same here.”

“I got us a table for three, they said it should be ready any minute now,” Adrian smiled towards you.

You poked Adrian’s side, “Are you actually going to eat this time or just sit and watch me again,” you joked.

“I actually had a late breakfast so I’m not that hungry.”

“You and your eating habits…so weird,” you told him. “Paul can eat 24/7 and still be hungry,” you laughed and turned towards Paul. “Paul, are you ok? You look sick.”

“I…ugh,” he stammered, “I think I need a minute,” he rushed past you and ran into the bathroom.

“Is your friend ok?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “He was fine in the car. I’m going to go check on him,” you left Adrian and poked your head into the men’s bathroom. Since you didn’t see any guys in there you went inside and found the shut stall door. “Paul,” you softly said, “let me in.”

“No,” he growled, “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Like what? Sick? Paul, I took care of you when you had the flu, I’m sure I can handle it.”

Reluctantly, he came out of the stall, a puddle starting to show on his undershirt. “You look awful, Pauly. I’m taking you home.”

“I’m fine,” he tried to dismiss you.

“Don’t argue with me, we’re going home. Let’s go. Go out to the car,” you handed him the keys, “I’ll be there in a second.”

You two left the men’s room and you walked towards Adrian. “Is your friend alright?”

“No, I’m afraid not. I have to take him home, I think he’s caught the flu or something. I’m sorry,” you apologized.

“No, no, don’t worry about it,” he reassuringly smiled. “Go take care of your friend. We can go out later this week, yeah?”

“That sounds perfect.”

All ride home Paul was twisting and yelling out in pain. “I’m taking you to the res. Doctor, Paul, there’s something wrong.” As soon as you pulled into the small parking lot you were out and to his side. “Come on,” you lifted him out of the car and half dragged him into the office.

“What happened,” the Doctor asked. After you explained everything to him he nodded at you. “Go home, Y/N, we’ll call his family and take care of Paul here. Nothing to worry about.”

And that was the last time you saw Paul. After that day he refused to take your calls, refused to call you back, and every time you went to his house he wasn’t there. You had lost your best friend and had no idea why.

Months had passed and the snow was falling. It was December 19th and Adrian was leaving tomorrow to spend the holiday’s with his family. You grabbed your coat and drove to the cafe you were meeting him at. “Hi,” you brightly smiled at your boyfriend.

“Hey,” he said lacking luster. “I got you a coffee,” he handed the cup to you.

“Thanks. What the matter? You seem…off.”

“Y/N, sit down, we need to talk.”


“I have to breakup with you.” Before you could ask why he continued, “I’m moving back towards my family. I didn’t expect to stay around here this long, but I did, and now I need to go. And I can’t continue our relationship once I go. Hell, I shouldn’t have started dating you in the first place.”

“So dating me was a mistake now?”

“Yeah, I guess it was.”

“Then have a nice life in wherever the hell you’re going,” you slammed your drink on the table and left.

You drove back to your house and slammed the door. After all these months of him acting like everything was perfect he changes his mind. He regrets your relationship now?! You grabbed your phone and dialed the number you knew by heart. “You’ve reached Paul. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you,” the voicemail you’d heard so often these past few months flooded your ears.

“Paul, it’s me…again. I…I know you don’t want to talk to me, I’ve gotten that message but…but I really need my best friend to talk to right now,” you felt tears weld in your eyes. But you were felt more sad about not reaching Paul than about having just broken up with your boyfriend. “Please, when you hear this, give me a call.”

Hours had passed and you still weren’t feeling tired. This whole time you sat stirring in anger; anger that Adrian had broken up with you, anger that he said you were a mistake, but mostly anger that Paul had heard the pain in your voice on all your calls and he still had chosen to ignore you.

It stirred and stirred until finally you felt it rupture. You shot up, grabbed your keys, and started speeding towards Paul’s house on the reservation.

His car was in the driveway and the lights were on. You stomped up the porch and let yourself in his home, slamming the door shut. Before you could enter the living room Paul stepped into view. “Y/N?” His face shifted from a confused stare to a blank look, like he wasn’t thinking anything.

“You’ve got some real nerve, you know that?” You pushed him out of your way and started pacing around the room. “Four months, you’ve been ignoring me. Four months, Paul! I must have left you a dozen messages, I must have come over a handful of times trying to catch you, but all those aren’t as bad as what happened tonight.” You picked up the phone on the couch and saw that he had listened to the voicemail you’d left him last night.

“I called you tonight needing to talk to my best friend and you ignored me! You listened to the message, or maybe you just straight deleted it, but I needed you and you were too self centered to-,” all he was doing was blankly staring at you. “Why are you just looking at me? Didn’t think I’d have the balls to come over here and tell you how much of a di-,” you were cut off by Paul’s lips crashing on yours.

“What,” you asked in a daze after he let go.

“I’ve loved you for years now I just never said anything and when I met Adrian…well something happened to me and…”

“So you stopped talking to me because I was dating Adrian?”

“No…Y/N, there’s a lot that I think you deserve to know.” And that’s when he told you everything.

*1 month later*

You and Paul were driving from town back towards the res. The pack was having another bonfire tonight and Paul had taken you out on a date and now you two were heading back. “Hey, can we stop by my house real quick? I forgot my coat and I’m not a personal heater like you guys are?” Paul grinned and laughed at your meekness.

“Who’s car is that,” Paul said turning on your street.

“That’s…Adrian’s.” You heard Paul starting huffing angrily right away. “Calm down, Pauly. I’m sure it just looks like his car, it’s probably not even his.” He reluctantly pulled over and you two made your way to the front door. Just a few steps away, Adrian stepped out from the shadows. “Adrian?”

“Y/N, hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to see how you were doing. What’s that smell,” he said with a disgusted face.

“That’d be me,” Paul said bitterly.

“You’re a werewolf, aren’t you? I’d heard rumors about you guys. Can I have a second with Y/N?”

“No,” you both said at the same time. “What do you want, Adrian?”

“I wanted to apologize. I was a real jerk and it was because I was panicking. I was afraid to tell you my secret and afraid to see how you’d react. I’m sorry and I want to make things right.”

“Well thank you, Adrian, but I’ve moved on,” you reached out and grabbed Paul’s hand. “And I’m happy.”

“I understand,” he sadly lowered his head and walked back to his car.

“You’re happy,” Paul grinned like a kids at Christmas as he looked at you.

“Yeah, I am. For now at least,” you quipped at the end and poked his side, running up and into your house.

“Hey,” he chuckled and tried to sound offended. Then he took off after you, determined to make you pay.

This here is Paulie Naeder.  His father is of German decent, his mother Italian, and due to living in the northern UK for most of his life he ended up with a Yorkshire accent.  He’s in his early twenties, and he still lives happily with his family.  He is always seen wearing some sort of nature-themed article of clothing, his favourite being his yellow and black striped sweater.  Add a pair of fake wings that act as pouches for seeds and the like, add his antennae headpiece, and you get The Pollinator.

The rest is under a read more because I talk too much.

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PHYSICS PICK UP LINES (sorry in advance)
  • 1: "We don't need a particle accelerator to smash together."
  • 2: "What do my boyfriend and the theory of everything have in common? Neither have been discovered yet..."
  • 3: "Quantum particles aren't the only things that can get entangled."
  • 4: "Hey babe, are you Marie Curie? Because you're absolutely radiant!"
  • 5: "I'm glad the Pauli Exclusion principle only applies to fermions, because I'd love to share the same space as you."
  • 6: "Even without mass, I'd still fall for you."
  • 7: "Are you a black hole? I'm not sure where this leads, but you're pulling me in and I'd like to find out."
  • 8: "0 Kelvin is the coldest anything can get, but physicists still aren't sure what the maximum is... I can't wait to tell them I just found the hottest thing in the universe!"
  • 9: "I know you're not Erwin Schrödinger... He only has a 50% chance when he checks, but I know you've got a 100% chance of killin' this pussy!"

anonymous asked:

Ugh sooo theres a thread on reddit on how Betty is a selfish bad friend because she only uses Veronica??, got mad at VA fot investigating FP and her love for Jughead clouds her judgment.

Wait…..BETTY…only uses VERMIN???? Da fuq?

The only good, friend thing we’ve seen Vermin do to date for Betty was giving Paulie temporary shelter. Past that, if Vermin does something nice for Betty, she has an ulterior motive/is trying to feel like a less shitty person/wants to improve her social position…..

Conversely, even with all kinds of shit going on in her own life (which Jughead has always been the one to comfort and help Betty with, cause LBR, they’re one another’s BFFs in addition to being BF/GF), Betty has always been there to comfort Vermin through her melodramatic ladypain (I mean Vermin had a bigger breakdown over Ethel’s dad than Betty did over her family falling apart before her eyes, in the same episode)….

And guess what? Vermin’s entire behavior with regards to FP? Psychotic, back stabbing, duplicitous, ridiculous, and totally not her place to do in the first place. AND then threw Betty under the bus, like the jackass she is. If anything, Betty had a moment of clarity when she distanced herself from VD and should’ve stayed with her first instinct there….

They are just so utterly disgusting….and all because they’re elitists, worshipping a petty, snide bitch because $$$

Chapter 6 - A Sky Full of Stars Series

Paul seemed even more depressed since the hospital visit. Richard tried everything he could to make him smile. After a few days, he had an idea. “Paulie, why don’t we go out of town? Take advantage of the time off.”
Paul sat on the side of the bed, staring down at his hands. “Whatever you want to do is fine by me,” he said softly.
“Or,” Richard sat down next to him and took Paul’s hands into his own. “We can just find something to do here.”
Paul shrugged, running his thumb over Richard’s. Exasperated, Richard shook his head. “Honey, I know this is hard to deal with. But how can I help you when you shut me out? Please, baby. Let me help you.”
“Well…I am curious about something.” Paul looked at him, wide-eyed.
Paul chewed on his bottom lip. He seemed almost afraid to say it. With a shaky breath he asked, “What if this is a sign?”
Richard looked puzzled. “A sign? What do you mean?”
“I know you and Till have this history that I know nothing about. When it all went down, it started over I comment I had about you in the early days. What if…” Tears fell from Paul’s eyes.
“Oh, honey! Come here.” Richard pulled him into his arms. “Please don’t think that way. Me and Till have complicated history. It’s very painful for both of us to deal with. Honestly, I wasn’t a very good guy back then.”
“Don’t say that!”
“It’s true. You remember when he went through a time when he didn’t speak a word for months? Well, I had a lot to do with it.”
Paul leaned back, wiping his tears. “What did you do? If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand.”
Richard thought for a moment. “It’s something I think you ought to know. Once I tell you, though, you may never look at me the same way again.”
“Try me.”
Butterflies settled in Richard’s stomach. Deep down he knew Paul would eventually realize how pathetic he really was back then, and still is. “Me and Till knew each other for years before you came along. There was a time when something was there. But I was heavily into drugs, and he was a drinker. He was so vulnerable then. I wanted something more than he could give, and I was heartbroken. I didn’t know how to deal with the rejection. It wasn’t his fault, mind you.
“One night I was as high as a kite. Till wouldn’t speak to me because I was being stupid. So, one night I snuck into his apartment while he was sleeping and I hurt him really bad.”
“Hurt him, how?”
“How did you hurt him?”
Richard closed his eyes. “I beat the hell out of him then raped him. Repeatedly. I didn’t realize at the time that I was doing it. Paulie, I was so fucked up back then.”
Pain vibrated through the side of Richard’s face. He knew he deserved it. Till had long since forgiven him, but it was something that Richard had carried with him for years. Paul stood up and sauntered to the door. “Baby?” Richard looked at him worriedly.
“I need some time to think.”
Richard didn’t move from the bed. He listened to Paul’s footsteps as he walked out the door. He covered his face and let his mind wander.

the convention isn’t doing a t100 panel even though they’ll have ian & michael beach there?? what kind of shit. you’re really gonna tell me that we’re gonna have a napoleon dynamite panel which hasn’t been relevant for a decade and we’re gonna have pauly shore have a panel but no t100??? imma call shenanigans on that bullshit 

“Do we make people feel awkward?”

Paulie brought this up with Z in jest but it brings out a very valid point about the difference between them and Nicorey. They mention how people tend to feel like they’re intruding when they’re around Zaulie, but don’t feel that way with Nicorey.

My take on that is because the energy changes when Zaulie are together because of their mad chemistry. Hell, I feel like I’m intruding half the time watching them. It’s in the way they stare at each other, like there isn’t anyone else in the room sometimes. It’s that spark that flares up when they’re close to each other. It’s the intimacy in how they touch/hold/nuzzle each other. It feels so personal that it’s uncomfortable to be around without feeling like a voyeur. That is TRUE chemistry. Not to mention that the sexual tension is so thick you could cut it with a chainsaw. That’s something that can’t be faked, even for TV.

They truly like each other and the other HGs can sense it - but not with Nicorey. That’s not to say that Nicorey don’t like each other, but obviously the energy is VASTLY different. What do y’all think?

The Breakdown of the Jury fight between Da’Vonne and Paulie (+Zakiyah).

Below the line you have me, a tortured bb tumblr soul that watched the fight during the live eviction and had such a whiplash, I had to sit down, adjust my glasses, pop open a jar of mandarin oranges, and watch that fight like I was a part of the FBI, solving a homicide case. What did we see during that now in the history books, iconic jury segment?

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I just don’t get why a grown ass man doesn’t understand that if someone says you made them uncomfortable you don’t fucking say you didn’t or that you couldn’t. You say sorry and stop doing it. You can even ask what specifically you did that made them feel that way so you don’t do it again. Like ????? What don’t you understand about that???? You can’t just invalidate a person’s feelings like that.

Literally grow the fuck up and have an adult conversation without being defensive you moldy ass soggy ass piece of white bread dipped in milk.

The fact that Nicole is a woman who refused to work with other women and went along with the guys wanting to get women out is the true reason why dislike Nicole. And it wasn’t even because of strategy, it was out of jealousy and pettiness which is really sad. She always took a man’s side over a woman’s (Paulie and Z/James and Natalie) and asked Corey to continue with the all males allience. She’s obviously a very insecure person that thinks she needs to constantly be in competition with other girls. Yes she made it to final 4 but she literally accidentally ended up there. There have been floaters who’ve made it this far, but it doesn’t mean they’re “doing something right” It just means that they got lucky with the circumstances that occured. If Nicole’s gameplay of wanting all of the women out and working against the women is a gameplay you’re proud of thats really sad.



Paulie had been staring at these numbers for the better part of the morning. She was lounging on her couch with her laptop propped up on her thighs, a half-empty and long gone cold cup of tea on her coffee table, and her eyes set on all the money in her savings account. In said savings account there was one hell of a lot of money. The money that her grandmother had left her, that Niall had suggested she used until she knew what it was she wanted to do with her life. It was sitting in the bank, untouched, and with the interest she got for it, it was basically just getting more and more by the day.

Paulie was fucking loaded and no one other than her close family and Niall knew about it.

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lock yourself out // a chapter fourteen sneak peek

“As you can probably tell Harry and I aren’t together anymore which is, surprisingly, not entirely your fault. Maybe there’s still hope for the both of you,” Paulie said bitterly.

“How much of our conversation have you heard, exactly?” Sandra inquired and Paulie thought she could make out the hint of a smile on Sandra’s lips. Given the situation, that seemed pretty low. Even for her standards.

“I think I’ve heard enough. I’m gonna go,” Paulie said and held her coat to her chest. “Bye.”

catch up here!



Paulie woke up with a headache and a sore throat. All the crying she had done the night before left her parched and made her head feel like it was about to explode. She disentangled herself from her sheets and sauntered over to her kitchenette. She filled a glass with water and gulped it down in one go. Next stop: the coffee maker. She filled it with water and when she went to grab the ground coffee she felt as if the universe was playing a cruel joke on her. The container was empty.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” she muttered and immediately felt another set of tears coming. She blinked them back furiously, thinking that she had cried enough in the last twenty-four hours.

Because leaving the house to get a cup of coffee from the café down the street was not an option in the state she was currently in, she thought of the next best thing. Claire. So she grabbed a pair of sweatpants from the hamper, put them on and started her journey downstairs.

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Harry had held Paulie’s hand on their way out of the club, while they were waiting for a taxi, the whole taxi ride home and right until he had to use both of his hands to open the door to his flat. Their whole journey from the party to Harry’s place was filled with kissing and gazing into each other’s eyes with silly smiles on their faces and Harry had never let go of Paulie’s hand once. She’d never felt so warm and fuzzy on the inside in her entire life and she was about 87 per cent sure it wasn’t just the alcohol flowing through her veins. And there was a lot of it flowing through her veins.

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