even if i never talk to you

Even Bech Nӕsheim. Oh, fuck you, I’m already crying. Okay. Stop looking at me like that and let me talk. You are… the best thing in my life. You have taught me so much. You have given me the love that I never expected, the love that I didn’t think I’d ever find, and you have shown me how to love someone back. And in this minute, in this universe and in every parallel one, I am fucking in love with you, because you are the only person who can make me laugh and make me cry, and you are the only person who loves me and understands me and supports me and you are the fucking man of my life, goddamn it, and I’ve known that ever since I was seventeen and you kissed me in some random stranger’s pool. You’ve changed my entire life. You have made me happier than I’ve ever been, sadder than I’ve ever been, angrier than I’ve ever been, and you have made me a better person. I love you more than anything I’ve ever known. And, yeah, in this minute, we’re getting fucking married. So. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, I love you, Even Bech Nӕsheim, and I always will. Fuck. Oh, shit. Everybody, I’m sorry for swearing so much, and also for crying. Okay. Your turn.

Isak Valtersen. Out of all the movies I’ve made you watch, and all the ones that exist, our love story is the most beautiful that I’ve ever known. You always say that love at first sight is bullshit, but I saw you on the first day of school and just knew that we’d be here one day. Getting married in front of our families and friends. In tuxes - and, might I add, you look really fucking hot right now. Sorry. That made you laugh, though, so I regret nothing. But I have loved you for my entire life, and everything fell into place when I saw you, like all the parallel universes lined up in that minute. I loved you when I didn’t know you existed, I loved you from across the courtyard at Nissen, and smoking weed on my windowsill, and with pink streaks on your face, and snapbacks and omelettes and cabin trips and morning breath and everything you’ve done, everything you’ll do. I am so, so proud of you. I am proud to know you. I am proud to love you. And I will remind you of that every single day for the rest of our lives. You mean everything to me. Thank you. I love you. And I can’t wait to call you my husband.

Thoughts about gardens and spirits

“Wow, your Nature Spirits are working with you, wondrous bond twixt the kingdoms.“

Someone commented this on one of my garden-related pictures today and it made me think maybe it’s time to address this sensitive subject again.

Since I started this garden, a number of things have happened to me in life and I have met some unusual people, which led to changes in the way I view the garden and things I do connected with it, even though I’ve never fully converted to any one way of thinking.

One thing that happened was meeting and spending time with Lenape people, and seeing them in action, having ceremony, and talking with them about it. They talk about spirits the way you talk about your neighbors or friends, like they just know they exist. They told me that the spirits like tobacco. Later I went to see a person who writes books about plant spirit medicine, and he said the same: that although some may think it is a bad or unhealthy herb, the spirits, including plant spirits, like it best. If you want to please them, that’s what to give to them.

I figured, what can it hurt? I don’t know about spirits, but these very down-to-earth people obviously do, and they think they’re worth pleasing. So I started buying the least-treated tobacco I could find, a couple of times a year, and taking it out in the early morning and sprinkling it as an offering to any spirits in my garden.

Also, I read that it’s good to have a spirit house. Ideally you want one of those nice Japanese spirit houses that people often think are lanterns, but anything nice will do. You put it in an out-of-the-way corner of the garden, and officially, possibly with tobacco or smudging or incense or something, formally invite the spirits into your garden and tell them they can live in the house. 

I couldn’t afford a Japanese spirit house, although I’ve always admired them. Instead, when a favorite decorated flower pot broke just enough that I could no longer use it, I placed it upside down in a corner of the garden so that the broken part was like a door, and I did the little ceremony, inviting the spirits, out loud, to come and live in my garden. It felt a little flaky, but again, I figured, what could it hurt? 

And then when I went to England, A friend bought me a vial at the Chalice Well Gardens, to put the reputedly sacred water of the spring into, to bring some home. I did that, and when I got home, I sprinkled a little of it around the garden, just droplets so that I still have most of it. I just remembered as I wrote this that I also have water that was said to have been taken from the River Ganges, and years ago I had sprinkled some of that around the garden, too.

Now, I’m not a true believer in this kind of stuff, although the Lenape people and then the pagan and heathen people I met in the UK gave me a chance to see serious, thoughtful people talking about and performing ceremony to spirits, so I was getting tempted to believe despite my upbringing. It seems sometimes like my life is leading me in that direction.

Anyway, wow, after I did that stuff, the garden just changed. I still need to work in it, dig things out, weed, and replant things, but it has become lush and full and self-regenerating in ways it never was before. And it has an ineffable kind of grace to it, growing in ways I could never have thought to try to make it grow. It has become beautiful.

Is that because of those actions, inviting the spirits in and giving them tobacco and water from the Chalice Well and occasionally going out and doing a smudge with some of the white sage (dried) I grow there? I can’t say for sure. But I will say to anyone thinking of trying it: Why not? What can it hurt?


Nico takes Allison by the arm and leads her away. But they don’t go too far. They were afraid things would become explosive between the young couple. But instead of being hysterical with tears or even fiercely angry, Lala looks at Remy with a weary expression, then turns her back to him.

Remy quiet: I’ll get tested. But I’m sure everything is fine.

Lala snaps: Why? Because she’s rich and beautiful? You think rich b*tches don’t have herpes? That they can’t get knocked up?

Remy: Lala, come on. Stop. You never speak this way, baby girl. Let’s talk about this.

Lala: There is nothing to talk about, Remy Holmes. I’m done with your cheating and your lying and your self destruction. 

Remy tries to put his arms around her, she pushes him away.

Lala: Dont f*cking touch me, Remy. Don’t ever touch me.

Remy: Lala. She’s nothing. It was just sex. With every other woman, it’s just sex. You know that.  With you it’s different.

Lala: I did this to myself and I know it. I always let you do whatever you wanted on the side because of that ridiculous reason. Just sex. There’s no such thing as just sex when you’re in a relationship and you’re in love, Remy. If it were just sex, I wouldn’t have nightmare about Steven Brandt f*cking me every night when all I wanted was to be with you.

Remy: I’m going to make him pay for that.

Lala: Why should he pay, Remy? When YOU were the one who pushed me to sleep with him? When you were the one who robbed HIM? Why should he pay when we entered his life, not the other way around? And I know Angelina True wasn’t just sex. You’re still trying to go after Steven. She’s connected to him. You’re going to kill him, no matter how I feel about it, how wrong I think it is.

Remy: I am going to kill him. I can’t live with myself knowing what he did to you. What he did to others. I’m doing this for my son.

anonymous asked:

Lmao so you say "we look spoiled" but you made a huge post about cheap promotions and iKON's music not being treated properly. This is why you get hate for being "fake" just like you once made a post about unfair line distribution and wanting vocal line to shine and now it's "vocal line will get their chance". You're a hypocrite.

  • iKON promotions during welcome back: 0  = I complain about poor promotions
  • iKON promotions during New kids: era: A lot = I’m happy & thankful

Me: has common sense, You: don’t

Also, I still think vocal line doesn’t get enough lines. I never said I don’t. I said I’m happy if we get any of the members on variety shows. We didn’t even talk about line distribution to begin with so your ask doesn’t make sense. 

Also, I know how much I love the boys and do for them. It doesn’t matter what a person like you, who doesn’t even have a tiny bit of courage and has such a low personality to send others negativity on anon messages, think of me. I don’t know you, I’m glad I don’t know you, and I most likely wouldn’t ever wanted to know someone like you. I actually feel sorry for you. The ones who want to call me fake are usually the ones who don’t do anything for the fandom but bring drama and talk shit about others without a reason. Hence, I don’t really care since people with a brain don’t do stuff like that. 


Yoooo OK so I’m going off the deep end now but in that Sneak Peak with Toby and “Spencer” they talk about never finishing their Scrabble game that night of the cabin, and Toby is like “Actually you did finish the game, I must have fallen asleep” and she said she didn’t remember the word and he said “it was limerence. Didn’t know what that meant so I looked it up. It’s a type of unrequited love.” And she’s like “yea…” then walks away. So obviously from just glancing you’re like “aw Spencer still loves Toby and she’s afraid he’s moved on, or that she lost Caleb even aww”


Doesn’t just mean “unrequited love” it means an overwhelming OBSESSION towards a person, one that is not reciprocated and specifically states that it is NOT MEANT AS SEXUAL (most of the time).

Toby 👏🏻 Knows 👏🏻 This 👏🏻 Bitch 👏🏻 Isn’t 👏🏻 Spencer 👏🏻 And 👏🏻 He’s 👏🏻 Gonna 👏🏻 Solve 👏🏻 Everything 👏🏻 What 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 Pure 👏🏻 Soul 👏🏻

Also? Twincer 👏🏻 Obsessed 👏🏻 With 👏🏻 Her 👏🏻 Sister 👏🏻 Like 👏🏻 The 👏🏻 Books 👏🏻 (And I bet Spencer is holed up wherever Hannah was tortured or some shit. What if Toby finds her? Ugh give me one full character arc that you never blew, Marlene JUST DO THIS FOR ME OKAY?! MAKE TOBY THE HERO HE WAS MEANT TO BE)

logan-teague  asked:

Heyy so I'm trying to plan my senior trip and I was wondering if you would recommend playlist or vidcon? Like what are the differences between them? Also is it weird that even though I've never talked to you or anything I've come to think of you as like an internet buddy because you're just such a cool dude and you're a relatable human bean that is also aesthetic goals?

oh thanks ahah~

they’re very similar, vidcon is just bigger since its at a proper convention center (meaning its also a bit more chaotic) more youtubers go to it compared to playlist but a lot of them still also go to playlist. its up to you, i love both equally honestly cause I’ve had very positive experiences so far. anyways i suggest perhaps watching people’s vlogs of each so you can see what its like in each

And a Steve gif in case you want to stick it to that anon and write some Marvel!

Disgusting fluff for my love, gif supplier extraordinaire @amanda-teaches hope you like it pal!


You weren’t trying to eavesdrop. It just sort of happened. The last thing you expected to hear Steve talking about was proposing, though. The fact he was talking about proposing to you, was an even bigger shock. At least you assumed he was talking about you, the two of you had never talked explicitly about marriage but you were happy and committed to one another.

This news shouldn’t be scary, and come to think of it, it shouldn’t even be all that surprising. The love of your life is asking your best friend for your hand - that old fashioned, adorable bastard - you should be ecstatic. Still, there was this nagging pit in your stomach that told you to run. Aside from Tony, family had never been a comforting concept. Before him, well it wasn’t a pretty picture.

Tony’s back was to you, but you could hear the smirk in his voice when he finally spoke up.

“Well Spangles, I just have one question. Why?”

“I want to give her everything she didn’t have. A family. Stability. All the things she’s deserved for so long. I want to give them to her for the rest of our lives. I love her Tony.”

You didn’t need to hear more. That one statement from him cleared all your worries. You backtracked a little and came into the open, walking toward the men, and waving so they wouldn’t know you’d heard everything.

“Hey boys! Whatchya talking about?” You smiled as you reached them and put an arm around Tony’s waist.

“What? Nothing. No.” Steve was bright red, and fumbling with his words so badly you almost wanted to put him out of his misery. Almost. “We weren’t talking about anything specific. Just some things. Mission type things.”

Tony kissed your temple and said goodbye to the two of you, and turned to leave. He wasn’t quite out of earshot when he was overtaken with laughter, at least he tried to hold it in.


“Hi doll. Missed you.”

“Missed you too, home?”

“Yeah, home.” he smiled, throwing an arm around your shoulder, tucking you into his side. “Listen, I uh, I know there’s stuff going on tonight, but what would you say to just staying in tonight? Just the two of us?”

“Sounds like the perfect night to me.”

anonymous asked:

I tend to not bring up identity even if I want to talk about it because I get so confused and am scared to explain it. I identify as pan but a gay guy friend of mine told me that that's not real and I'm just bi. I've never had a satisfying relationship with a guy so sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm just gay. And then I also identify as asexual but then I wonder if that's just because of my sexual abuse and I feel invalid. So in the end Im not confident about what to identify as.

I get that but don’t worry you are pan/ace if that’s what you feel bf the “reason” for your sexuality is NOT invalid I’m blowing you kisses


I just can’t believe that Isak was this grumpy boy who thought no one would’ve ever liked him, loved him, appreciated him and was living his life with not that much interest, hiding, not talking about how he was really feeling. He abolished all his feelings and was almost resigned because he thought he could never come out of the closet because there was no reason to. But then he met Even, he saw this boy, this, at first sight, handsome, tall boy. Who knew this boy would’ve changed his life for the better. Even arrived and suddenly Isak’s life changed, he was reborn, Even made him do all the things he missed and that he should’ve done. Isak had a crush, has been jealous, has been confused, has been upset, sad, cried because of Even, found out things about this boy he didn’t know, discovered that he had a MI, discovered that it was not only about him anymore, only about Isak, but about Even too. He was brave, mature, he helped Even, he saved Even, he decided to stay by his side, didn’t know about tomorrow but was sure the next minute he would’ve been there for him. At a certain point it was about the two of them, Isak and Even, together, facing their issues and problems, loving, caring, supporting each other. Even woke up in Isak an amount of feelings ha had been hiding for so much time, Even literally saved Isak, made him get out of that hidden place where he used to hide and abolish his feelings. Even, with only his being himself, the cute and soft boy who loved Isak from the very first moment, who let him take his time. They saved each other, Isak and Even, they were meant to be. They are ‪those kind of couples that when finally meet everything gets cancelled, the before, the after. It’s just the two of them together against ‬the world, always been together, even before they met, together in the present, together in the future, the definition of “created to be something that doesn’t make sense without the other half”. Isak Valtersen has been needing Even Bech Næsheim all his life like Even ‪Bech Næsheim has been needing Isak Valtersen all his life. And they’ll be together forever and a day. ‬

my honey bun @jihoomie tagged me to do this 💕 thank you so much i love you 

Rules: Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people.

  1. Body Talk -  Red Velvet
  2. Through The Dark - One Direction
  3. Invisible - 5 Seconds of Summer
  4. Unbreakable - Mans Zelmerlöw
  5. I Found Love - Oh My Girl
  6. 3.6.5 - EXO
  7. Lego House - Ed Sheeran
  8. Uma Thurman - Fall Out Boy
  9. Acquainted - The Weeknd
  10. Never Let you Go - Justin Bieber

i tag: @jtae @kittaee @protectaetae @2awake @01ksj @jiminssi @itsjhope @dorkytaehyung @taesflower @taesberet

Do you ever just

Think about people that died years ago, that you never knew and only ever heard studies about or read about

And get overwhelmed thinking about the lives they lived and the changes they saw

And wish you could talk to them, just once, to tell them how much they mean to you and how much they’ve helped you even though they’re gone

Because I do and let me tell you I’m damned emotional right now

anonymous asked:

well my ex boyfriend who used to be my best friend for 3 years acts as if i dont even exist after we broke up, even though i wasnt the douche one and broke up via facebook after 4 months of relationship ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so yeah i guess those 3 years never mattered at all huh. i tried talking to him (because it was his idea to stay as friends) but he just doesnt even care. i feel like a fool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯

you’re not a fool!! what he’s doing rn is a dick move and he’s a fucking asshole who doesn’t deserve you. what you should do is just fucking,, get rid of him, delete him from your life and you pretend that he doesn’t exist. fuck toxic people, you deserve better than that.

anonymous asked:

Everyone I know is getting out of the Fnaf fandom and I still really love it and it makes me really happy but every time I try to talk to my friends about it they all get annoyed and are all like "who even likes Fnaf anymore?" And it makes me feel really sad and left out, should I give up on Fnaf too?

If you enjoy drawing something, and it makes you feel great, then definitely KEEP DOING IT!
When it comes to doing things you like, other people’s opinions shouldn’t be a huge problem for you. It’s not healthy to take negative thoughts into consideration.
If some of your friends are annoyed by the fandom, talk to people who ARE in the fandom.
They are more then willing to talk about it with you.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any Tobin x Gray headcanons or do you not do ships? 👀

Tobin x Gray headcanons:


  • Both had crushes on each other for literal years, but neither was sure if the other had the same feelings and neither wanted to mess up their friendship. They cared about each other too much to even think about never talking to the other again, so each decided to live with their feelings in silence.
  • Almost everyone in Ram figured there was more than just a solid friendship between the two. They were always together, and they just worked.
  • How the two ended up finding out that they shared feelings is quite the story. (I have so many ideas how these two dorks confessed their love… I might write some… one day)
  • Gray and Tobin didn’t want to tell anyone else about their relationship when it first started. Since it was new to them, they wanted to get a feel of it on their own. They also were afraid to see the other’s reactions to the new advancement in their relationship. Everyone had an idea that there was something more between the two, especially Alm and co. since they’ve known them since childhood. The two were eventually caught together in their shared tent one night and with that the secret was out, and the jokes started flooding in. Gray just laughed them off and Tobin always blushed but the two were happy that they could make their relationship known and not have to hide their affections any longer.
  • The two still mess around like they used to when they were just friends, but there is a hint of something more under the surface of their bickering. There is a fondness in Tobin’s voice when he tells Gray to shut up, and a warmer gleam in Gray’s eyes when he laughs it off. Everyone can see that the two are unbelievably happy together.
  • The two are inseparable on the battlefield. Tobin makes sure he covers Gray as he charges forward, and the two make a great team. Everyone on the Deliverance feels lucky that they aren’t on the receiving end of their attacks. And they only get stronger the more danger the other is in. They both want to protect the other, and they will stop at nothing to make sure that neither of them are harmed.
  • The two are super cuddly together at night. At night is when their love for each other really comes out. Since the two share a tent, they always have an excuse to be together and they never need worry about privacy. And everyone, I mean everyone, knows to avoid their tent at night unless you want to see some things.
  • Gray still likes to poke fun at Tobin, though now it is done in a more lovey way. He will make comments about his hair, or the way he laughs, and he of course still creates cute little nicknames for Tobin, but all this comes off as playful teasing. There is an obvious flirty undertone to Gray’s comments, and when Tobin makes a comeback, the love they have for each other is blatantly obvious.
  • They both use each other as a support system. Having grown up together, they can understand when the other talks about being homesick. The two will share memories of their time in Ram and laugh at how much fun they had together. They both know how to comfort the other as well, and many nights they end up falling asleep in each other’s arms after taking a walk down memory lane.
  • As much as the two like to poke fun at each other, there are still plenty of times where all they do is give each other compliments upon compliments. Gray will go on and on about how much he loves running his fingers through Tobin’s hair, or how his eyes light up when he laughs, and Tobin loves to talk about how nice Gray’s arms feel when they’re wrapped around him or his stupid smile after they kiss. Sometimes, they act all mushy just to make the others uncomfortable, and they’ll spend the rest of the night laughing about it together.
  • In terms of PDA, they try to keep it to a minimum, though most times they can’t help it. They spend so much time together it becomes natural for Gray to reach out for Tobin’s hand, or for their wrestling match to turn into a make-out session on the ground. Everyone is so used to it that it doesn’t even bother them anymore. They just roll their eyes and walk away, and the two hardly ever notice. 
  • Everyone in the Deliverance is completely accepting of their relationship. Their love rivals that of Clive and Mathilda, and the two couples are often the butt of everyone’s jokes, though Gray and Tobin don’t mind at all. They’re just happy that their friends accept their relationship, and they are happy and in love.

Okay, well, I think that’s enough for now. Trust me, I could probably go on forever, I just love these two together so much. Thanks for the request <3 (I’m always down for more :p) 

So sorry for the long ass post!

anonymous asked:

Gio I feel so bad for C, I'm not even a camilizer nor CS but if the girl is bi or straight fans will do her dirty just like they did and do with L, they only love her when she shows her gay side otherwise they attack the guy and her. I understood what you meant about not discrediting C's feelings when she talks about boys.

i wouldn’t say they don’t love her when she doesn’t show her gay side but i understand your point, not only camren shippers but some L girls too (not generalizing) & lets see, C never talked about her sexuality and i don’t think she will ever do but i hope no one jumps on her throat if she is not gay/bi, i think she is comfortable with herself

The thong song though…

How many times did those trongs guys practice that ad? They were practically robotic.

“We’ve been together for so many years,” Rhett says. Not “We’ve been friends for so many years.” And Link didn’t even correct him. I cry. :’)

Yeah, that hair in the jello almost made me gag too, Link. D:

Rhett consumed that spoon like a woodchipper. Imagine if Jessie replaced all their spoons with edible ones. Rhett would never leave the kitchen. XD

“You don’t eat horizontal sometimes?” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I’m so mature…and the way Link laughed makes me think he had some other ideas about this as well.

I WAS WAITING FOR THE MASSAGE SONG but dang I wish they’d extended that part some more. x)

Nice Cornhole Song reference. I like when they mention their old songs.

Dont hurt Chase! T_T

“Let’s go kill some people.” bahahaha of course.


“What” he demanded innocently eyes shifting “did you think I didn’t know?”

“I” her eyes darted towards Renee “I never told you. How did you….”

“I’m not blind or an idiot” he grumbled but his eyes never lost their twinkle “did you think I wouldn’t approve?” Her silence spoke for her as he nodded in acceptance. “I want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Stepping back Renee suggested “maybe you’d like to take your dad to the garden where you can talk.”

Nodding Divia took her place behind her dad’s wheelchair. She didn’t knew what to say or even what she should be feeling. She felt somehow lighter like a heavy burden had been removed from her shoulders. Her dad loved her. He wasn’t mad like she expected him to be. To her astonishment he had tried to set her up with his therapist. Tears stung her eyes blurring her vision.

“Are you crying?” Liono asked his voice betraying his irritation he felt around anyone crying.

anonymous asked:

Okay how ever is talking shit about kitty I will come over to your fucking house wait till you sleep grab thw sharpest thing I can find cut your throat out and till you don't breath. Now stop your bull shit on hurting others you never talk to and see how loving and caring they are even if its someone they hate an anon or not. - hugs kitty -

….. wow i didn’t know someone care about me that much… *hugs you* -whisper- but please don’t kill anyone…