even if i am the sole provider

How I plan on shutting down ableist remarks in the future
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Someone:</b> Your autism can't be that bad! I didn't notice it!<p/><b>Me:</b> The fact that I am able to pass as neurotypical does not mean that I am. You only don't see that I'm autistic because I was struggling my entire life as an undiagnosed autistic person to fit in as good as I can. Because my quality of life depends on it. I was bullied enough to know that I have to choose between either being myself and mentally tortured for it by others unaccepting of any autistic trait or acting out of my natural way of behavior. The fact that people invalidate me as an autistic individual after THEY have forced me to not be noticeably autistic is just a further manifestation of the emotional manipulation and ableism directed towards autistic people. The fact that I am not noticeably autistic is nothing but a protective mechanism that I devote a lot of energy to. Telling me that I need to present more autistic in order to actually be autistic is nothing but further abuse and a way to deny help that autistic people like myself are in need of. The fact that I'm not noticeably autistic doesn't "lessen" the fact that I'm autistic, just as well as the fact that I'm cis-het-passing doesn't make me cis-het.<p/><b>Someone:</b> You must be pretty high function!!<p/><b>Me:</b> Functioning labels are nothing but a result of our capitalistic society which is evaluating the worth of people in general and even more of disabled people based upon how much and well they contribute to society. The only difference between me and a person deemed as "low functioning" is that the struggles I face as an autistic individual are on different levels that do not have an impact on factors valued by our capitalistic society. I am able to take care of myself around 60-70%, I was able to finish school and now I'm visiting university, which will lead to me later on taking a job and thus contributing my energy to our society in a way that everyone else profits from, besides me. Because as an autistic individual, I struggle with these things a lot even though I'm able to do them. "Low functioning" autistic people are oftentimes not able to contribute to society in a way that provides monetary resources for others and the state and if they are, then they aren't able to take on jobs that would further maximize that gain. By slapping functioning labels on autistic people, you are either ignoring their struggles (high functioning) or their talents (low functioning) based solely on contributing to our capitalistic society in a socially appropriate way.<p/><b>Someone:</b> You don't look autistic!<p/><b>Me:</b> Based on studies conducted on Caucasian boys, psychologist actually discovered general facial characteristics for autistic people which I match, even though I am not male. Furthermore, these studies are highly ethnocentric, they don't offer the same resources for other ethnic backgrounds as well as they don't collect data on non amab people. Additionally, invalidating someone based on their looks is totally useless and doesn't even make any sense. You can't see if someone has depression, borderline or even cancer if they didn't start any treatment yet. So why should you be able to say if someone looks autistic or not? How do you even think that diagnosis works? You enter your therapist office and they immediately diagnose you as autistic because of how you look???<p/></p><p/></p>

anonymous asked:

can you rec yoi blogs to follow?

i don’t follow that many yoi blogs bc having a super active dash overwhelms me but sure!! you’re probably following most of these amazing people already if you know who i am but i’ll take any chance to gush about how great all the people in this fandom are :’’’) also keep in mind i tend to only follow otayuri-centric blogs

 in alphabetical order below the cut sorry this is so long omg

Keep reading

So there was a bit of a “when is criticizing religion pointlessly mean” discussion going on on my dash, and I don’t want to say anything specific but I will give my general position, just because I know a lot of religious people follow me and they are generally awesome and I want them to decide for themselves what they are comfortable with:

I think it is very important for speech critical of religion to exist, and I think the leftist push I see lately toward stigmatizing such speech is wrongheaded.

Many, many religious people are awesome. Some religious communities are awesome. I am not a big fan of anti-religious speech that suggests religious people are stupid, or silly, or in some greater need of comfort than the rest of us. (I don’t really grok the criticism of some of my fellow atheists that religion is silly if it’s solely intended to provide comfort. I have ptsd. I’ve seen some shit. Don’t underestimate comfort!)

BUT.

Many of the people who have been hurt by religion have been hurt very profoundly and deeply. Abuse is not everywhere, but it is sadly not uncommon. And even when a community is not abusive, religious norms can still hurt people. This morning I listened to a speech by a Christian lesbian who is about to go away to college and is afraid, because while her home church is welcoming, the college is in a much more conservative place.

These hurts are real. There is no good reason behind inflicting them, and people are angry.

I don’t think it helps to yell about how they say so, aside from asking for warnings.

Another case in point: I’ve mentioned here before that quite a few ex-Muslims can be very strident. A week or so ago I watched some videos on The Thinking Atheist called “the poison pill of Islam.”

Who said that? Some gross conservative white boy?

No, the ex-Muslim guy being interviewed, who was saying that in his view “this is bad! This is not okay!”

When we tell people to talk to one another with compassion, we do good.

When we tell them their pain makes them bigots… I think we make it really hard FOR THEM to come back to compassion.

To that end… sometimes I will post these things. I only refrained from posting “the poison pill” videos because I feared people would see only the title and not look close enough to think about why I would share them.

But… yeah, so you know. So you can take care of yourselves, whatever you believe.

Rotation Chronicles #11 (The finale): Dermatology

What I like about dermatology: I like how derm is its own world but you still have to have a broad knowledge of systemic conditions, as many of them manifest with skin symptoms. 

What I didn’t like about dermatology: It’s really hard to be sure 100% what someone may have.

Fav things about my site:  The doctors were really nice and taught me a lot. Though there was not much medical dermatology, they tried their best to teach me common skin disorders. I also got to learn a bunch about proper skin care since this was a cosmetic dermatology office. (I have to step up my spf game yall). 

Not so awesome things about my site: This was a medispa dermatology office so most of what they did was cosmetic dermatology (botox, face lifts, lasers, cool sculpting, etc). Though I learned a lot, much of that info isn’t really helpful for primary care (aka where I want to work). It was also pretty far away from home. Most patients were really wealthy and privileged but most were very kind.

“Common” things I saw: Rhytides, rosacea, acne, actinic keratosis, basal cell carcinoma, squamous cell carcinoma

“Uncommon” things I saw: wegners granulomatosis, SLE, nummular psoriasis

Things I got to do: 1st assist with facelifts, blepharoplasties, brow lifts, biopsies, etc

Misconceptions: cosmetic derm does appear pretty superficial compared to other medical specialties, and in a way it definitely is. But some people who get cosmetic procedures have legit deformities or medical problems and just want to look “normal”. Even the patients who do this solely for vain reasons are really distressed by how they look and providing this service really makes them happy. I still am not a huge fan of this area, but I definitely acknowledge how society standards influence the growth of this industry.

Overall Thoughts: I really wish I had a medical dermatology rotation over this one. The way to get good at derm is to see tons and tons of rashes/lesions. I got to see some on this rotation but not enough for me to feel stronger in derm going into my first job. I’ll definitely want some more derm experience in the future.

And that’s a wrap! This was my last rotation. Next is board review, graduation, dreaded board day, and hopefully starting my new job soon :)

Speaking for Myself

I’m tired of feminism and Blacklivesmatter claiming to speak for me. We’re not of some hive mind or in some sort of perfect solidarity. Nope, as a Black female, I have my own opinions, and most of them are contrary to what feminism and blacklivesmatter claims to speak for me about.

I believe we live in a society where women are equal to (and in many cases, treated better than) men.

I don’t believe in the Patriarchy

I owe nothing to current, third wave feminists (especially since they have yet to even provide me of an accomplishment feminism has achieved in the past 10 years, let alone the current century we are in)

I am a strong woman of color who respects the opinions of others, especially when said opinion is different from my own (I don’t need trigger warnings or “safe spaces” when I face an opposing opinion)

I do not want affirmative action to be the sole reason why I get a job (as it totally disregards merit and ample qualification)

I don’t believe in the Pay Gap

I believe in Innocent Until Proven Guilty, not “believe the victim”

I believe ethnic and gender quotas are completely unnecessary

I believe the right to offend is more important than the right to not be offended

I don’t believe we live in a rape culture in the first world

I believe “safe spaces” infantilize college students

I believe black people/POC can be racist to white people

I believe women can be sexist to men

I believe misandry is real

I don’t believe a person can be an “otherkin” or “trans-species”

I believe if the only way you can be proud of your race is by ridiculing and demonizing another, then it’s not real empowerment

I believe video games do not cause sexism

As a woman I am not, and have not grown up, afraid of men

Even as a black woman, I can recognize that I grew up with more privilege than many of my white, male, heterosexual friends

Feminism doesn’t represent me, just as the blacklivesmatter movement and the rest of “black tumblr” doesn’t represent or speak for me.

anonymous asked:

what are some of your fav non-fandom blogs? :)

@celestial-fantasizer and @froscan for great photos

@reagan-was-a-horrible-president for all my current events needs

@writingwithcolor is such an invaluable source for me whenever I’m doubting how to approach various narratives. And even then, they provide so many good resources in general that they get me to consider awesome ideas that I wouldn’t have come across solely on my own

@bellybuttonbutch is my go to for a lot of people based photography and wlw positivity

@nonbinarypastels is probs my fav blog to get queer positive posts from. And most (if not all) of their posts are formatted to be accesible to people who use screen readers which is so important

idr why I started following @lantur tbh? But I’ve been following them for five or so years now and still am so happy I do. They have amazing content curation especially when it comes to issues pertaining to disability and they’re so thoughtful and introspective.

speaking of which, one of my fav people is @drinksandboybands . Emma’s just one of the coolest kids on this damn site I swear

AMA

Before I even get to my point, I know a lot you will probably respond to this post with something along the lines of “don’t worry about them, haters gonna hate”
And while I sincerely appreciate the supportive responses, I still have a hard time understanding why so much toxicity and venom is continuously spewed in my direction solely because of my occupation
I am not hurting /anyone/
If anything, I am providing a service
I cater to men who may otherwise have insecurities which prevent them from approaching women, or men who are stuck in unhappy marriages but are financially (or otherwise) tied to their spouse
I have been thanked (on multiple occasions) for giving these men the courage to finally approach women in real life
And before you think “you just get paid to say those things” I DONT
If you’ve ever even bothered to watch my stream, you’d know my style is FAR from transactional
I will hold a conversation with anyone who treats me (and the rest of my room) with respect
I don’t ONLY respond to tippers
I don’t demand monetary compensation in exchange for courtesy and kindness
I am courteous and kind because I am /human/ and thats what human beings SHOULD do
Not to mention my kindness isn’t limited to the threshold of my MFC chat room
I get numerous amounts of messages here on the daily, from men AND women
I have no obligation help or comfort those in need and I sure as hell ain’t getting paid for it
So /why/ is all of this spite and toxicity funneled toward sex workers who are just minding their own business
People, who LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, have expenses, tuitions to pay, mouths to feed and sick relatives to look after
Why can’t all of this crippling hate be redirected toward rapists, racists, terrorists, murderers, crooked politicians the list goes on and on and on and on
LOOK AROUND YOU PEOPLE, there is injustice in every corner of the world
If everybody could channel their anger toward the people who are ACTUALLY making the world a terrible place then maybe just maybe shit would fucking change

Humanity can be such a senses race, I will never understand

/end rant/

not you too, CDC.

[i am 24958% for educating women on contraceptive options, healthcare providers asking about alcohol consumption in order to screen for those who may need help with their habits, and minimal or no alcohol consumption during pregnancy.]

but. the CDC included “injuries/violence” and “unintended pregnancies” in their list of risks for women who consume too much alcohol. that’s how deeply victim-blaming is embedded in our society – the message we get is that the onus to prevent these occurrences lies solely with women. even our government says so! this chaps my ass so hard i might not be able to sit down until next week. 

yes, that’s how it works. we females have a few cocktails and then violence and unintended pregnancies just rain down on us from some magical, mysterious source. 

spoiler alert, CDC. women aren’t assaulting themselves and spontaneous conception is not a thing. please consider a helpful infographic on how to raise boys into men who are respectful of women. 

anonymous asked:

Damn u ugli

My eyes have shed tears for the pain of my son.

My ears have allowed me to respond
instantly to a cry of pain from another room.

My lips have sung lullabies through the night.

My shoulders have carried a tiny body high above my head for a better view than my own.

My arms protect.

My chest provides comfort which is unmatched by anyone else.

My breasts solely nourished a whole life for 6 months, and continue to do so now.

My stomach grew that new life.

My back and hips took the brunt of childbirth.

My legs allowed me to soothe my baby with endless walking up and down.

My facial expressions taught my son how to interact with others.

My hair is the ultimate comforter.

My hands can fix any toy.

My body is beautiful in ways you can’t even imagine. I am the most beautiful person in my child’s world.

Give Me Love (Like Her): Ch 3


Summary: How can Killian Jones ask his aggressively aloof neighbor on a date without making her uncomfortable? And how can he ensure that he doesn’t default to having a one-night stand with her? His unusual solution: announce his affections anonymously and hope for the best. Companion piece to With Affection from Killian’s point-of-view.
Rating: Mature/Explicit
Notes: Here it is, folks! This is the companion piece! I really, really hope it lives up to everyone’s expectations. This is not a sequel, but there are several scenes that will not make much sense, or be nearly as meaningful/entertaining, if you have not read With Affection, which can be found here and here (or through my fic page).
Banner by @bashful-killian, beta-read by @optomisticgirl

AO3: First and latest
FFnet: First and latest
Tumblr: First

Content note: This chapter contains explicit sexual content.

Chapter Three:

Sunday morning, Killian rose early, but was disappointed to find that he was out of several key ingredients he’d assumed he’d had on hand, both for a hearty home-cooked Sunday breakfast and for the apple crisp he’d planned on baking. After a quick but intense internal debate regarding a plan of action, which involved swift pacing in the living room as he arrived at his decision, he dressed and left for the grocery store. But when he spotted the note under Swan’s doormat, he decided the grocery store would have to wait.

Well, Captain, since you seem to suffer from the delusion that I’m royalty, I’m just going to play along and take advantage of your mistake. As a princess, I expect a lot of groveling, just so you know. It’s just how I roll.

My first royal act will be to grant you a pardon for your incredibly rude comment concerning what everyone knows is a delicious part of a balanced breakfast (or dinner). Can you seriously top Cap’n Crunch? Do you think you’re more of a Cap’n than he is?

As for your awkward question: I am, for lack of a better term, available. Your move.

His move. He grinned and made a mental note to thank Graham for explaining the advantages of online dating. The man had not been lying about the benefits of written communication.

His stomach growled, reminding him that breakfast was on hold until he ran his errand. His reply would have to wait, but that was fine. It was, after all, his move. He should mull it over.

As he exited the building, he saw a man standing on the sidewalk, anxiously making a phone call and glancing up at the complex. “Look, you can’t just break up with me over the phone. I don’t want to have to ask the doorman to let me in, but you’re seriously underestimating me. You have to stop ignoring my calls.”

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