even his dumb hair

anonymous asked:

Prompt: Stranded at sea on a small boat that broke down after a heist, some members of the FAHC wait for the others to rescue them. (Idk if this is a good prompt or not)

This is amazing and I love it:

Michael doesn’t know how or why they ended up in the middle of the fucking ocean, but he knows exactly who to blame.

“GODDAMN IT, GAVIN!” he screams when the boat dies, bobbing uselessly in the water, miles of water stretching around them as far as the eye can see, land no more than a blur on the horizon.

“There’s no gas,” Gavin says tapping the fuel gauge uselessly.

“OF COURSE THERE’S NO FUCKING GAS!  I’M OUT HERE WITH YOU, AND ONLY YOU WOULD STEAL THE ONE BOAT WITH NO GAS! WHAT THE FUCK!” Michael kicks the side of the boat, grunting in pain, muttering darkly to himself.

“Ryan’s here, too.”

“HE-” Michael gestures to Ryan, who has yet to regain consciousness from their run in with the cops, blood sticking to the side of his head from a deep cut hidden in his hair line “-ISN’T EVEN AWAKE, YOU DUMB FUCK!”

Gavin, too used to hearing Michael’s ranting, completely ignores the insults, and stands up, crossing the boat to kneel down next to Ryan. He checks his pulse, makes sure he’s breathing, and says, “You think he’s gonna be pissed he got shot?”

Michael, still fuming and far from running out of steam, glances down at Ryan and grunts, “The bullet grazed him. He’s not dead. He’ll get over it.” He moves towards the front of the boat, sitting down in the captain’s seat, and starts fiddling with the radio.

“What are you doing?” Gavin asks curiously, making himself comfortable right next to Ryan.

“Trying to get a hold of anyone.” He turns the dial, trying different channels, wishing he hadn’t dropped his cell phone in the water when they were trying to escape.

“…come in….are you sure….Geoff…” Michael nearly drops the radio when he hears Jack’s voice.

“Hey, hey Jack.”

Michael…. Michael do….are you… Michael.”

“Jack, hey Jack…” Static answers him and Michael sighs in frustration, throwing the radio down. “Fuck.”

He stands up, pacing across the boat floor, agitated. He feels a bit like a caged animal, nervous energy running through him, and he really wants to hit something.

“We’re gonna die out here,” Michael says under his breath.

“At least we’ll die together,” Gavin replies beaming. With a war cry, Michael throws himself at him and starts punching him all over.

Gavin yelps in surprise, trying to push Michael off, the boat rocking violently beneath them. Michael gets at least three good punches in before he is yanked off of Gavin.

“What the fuck is going on,” Ryan demands, unceremoniously dropping Michael into the captain’s chair, putting himself into between him and Gavin. “And why the fuck are we on a boat?”

“Ask him,” Michael snaps gesturing towards Gavin, tasting blood on his lip. At some point, Gavin must have hit him, and Michael begrudgingly feels a little impressed.

Gavin’s nose is bleeding and his cheek is red, but otherwise he looks unscathed. With an affronted scoff, he stands up and says, “I steal a perfectly good boat…”


“…and this is the thanks I get.”

“THANKS? THANKS? YOU GET US STRANDED OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND YOU EXPECT THANKS?!” Michael jumps up from his chair, but Ryan shoves him back down.

“Stay,” he says and Michael glares at him, but stays seated. “Good boy.”

“Fuck off.”

Amusement flickers in Ryan’s eyes and he turns his back on Michael, looking over at Gavin. “How far out are we?”

“I dunno,” Gavin replies shrugging, rubbing at his bruised cheek. “I just drove as fast as I could in the opposite direction of the gunfire.”


“See, Michael.”

“Don’t push it.”

Ryan surveys the scene for a few seconds, but the rocking of the boat must be getting to him, his face turning a sickly gray color. He slowly sits down in the co-captain’s seat, breathing deeply through his nose.

“You alright?” Gavin asks pushing himself up onto his knees. “Gonna vom?” He pales at the idea, clutching his stomach. “Please don’t.”

“I’ll be sure to tell my stomach to hold it in because Gavin asked,” Ryan snaps sarcastically, leaning forward, resting his forehead against his knees.

“Michael, if he gets sick, I’m gonna get sick,” Gavin complains, gagging at the idea. “Michael, don’t let him.”

“What the fuck am I supposed to do?” Michael looks helplessly between the two before turning back to the radio. He does not have time for any of this and wasting energy on it isn’t helping them get help any faster.

Behind him he hears Gavin gag again, but Michael ignores it. He messes with the radio, hoping to hear Jack. Or anyone for that matter. The cops could pick them up for all he cared; spending the night in jail had to be better than being out here.

“…hello? Hello, can you….? Hello?” Michael nearly jumps up when he hears the voice, scrambling to answer, pretending he doesn’t hear his friends getting sick behind him.

“Jack, hey Jack I’m here!”

He waits a beat, stomach clenching in anticipation, almost too afraid to hope. For a moment he thinks he’s actually lost Jack again, and he practically deflates when he hears her voice loud and clear:

We’re on our way, Michael. You guys okay?”

“We’re fine,” Michael responds looking over his shoulder at his two friends hanging over the edge of the boat. “Well, mostly.”

Okay.” Jack sounds skeptical, but she doesn’t elaborate, instead promising to be there are soon as she can, and Michael thanks every deity he can think of for Jack Pattillo.

anonymous asked:

Hello, hope you're having a great day! I saw the ask open, can I please request honeymoon getaway with the GOM and their so? Where would they go...what would they do...what funny dumb things happen. Literally anything, just make it fluffy pretty please? Thank you very much for everything you do. I love your blog to bits and you guys are like one of nicest people I've ever known on the Internet. Thanks again!

Aren’t you sweet as sugar! Thank you for all your support! We love our fans and readers so much!
+Admin Kai+

Location: Island location for a month
Fun Things: Expect lots of bedroom action, but he will take you on a wondrous yacht. Dinner and dancing will happen.
Dumb Thing: Mr. Perfect’s hair will be attacked by the native insects on the island

Location: Paris!
Fun Things: Besides bedroom things expect your own private photoshoot that will turn into sexy times
Dumb Things: He will quietly complain that no one recognizes him.

Location: Japan Country Side
Fun Things: Besides listening to Oha Asa every morning and grabbing the lucky item of the day expect to do a little research on the history and entomology of the place.
Dumb Things: The little kids staying on the floor below your honeymoon suite thinks your husband is a walking tree that’s parading as a carrot

Location: Italy!
Fun Things: Touring the city for the different types of foods. Expect him to be a lazy lover unless you ring his bells just right.
Dumb Things: The local moms use your new husband as their personal taste tester. The language barriers get in the way but food is the universal language.

Location: Tokyo but in an upscale hotel
Fun Things: After completely wearing you out with sexy times he will take to one of the fanciest restaurants in town. He’ll even wear a suit and slick back his hair!
Dumb Things: The host always flirts with Daiki anytime he gets a chance. Your very manly husband finds it super annoying.

Location: Kyoto!
Fun Things: Tetsuya makes you the most luxurious bath you’ve never had. Everything you could want including wine, bubbles and him.
Dumb Things: Every time the two of you went out he could never order thanks to his low presence. The two of you usually shared your meal.


I’ve been in a Braum mood, and I couldn’t help but think that Tryndamere would feel some competition in the love department now that there’s a new dreamy support in the league~

It’s fairly OOC for Ashe, and we all know Braum is a super happy big hearted guy and would never compete over the Queen of the Freljord! But c'mon, we all know Trynd would probably be a jealous baby over his little Ashe

No Ashe, hug and love /my/ muscles, not that new guy. He can’t even sprout hair on his head, gosh.

It’s sketchy and dumb through most of it but again I don’t really care it’s LATE

There may be a sequel in the future~

Of Cappuccinos, Super Heroes and American Presidents

This started as a prompt idea and headcanon conversation that eventually merged together. Thank you so much to Grace,) without whom I would have never written this. I hope you enjoy it! (read on ff.net)

The first time Lily visits that particular Starbucks it’s pouring outside. The traffic is absolutely insane and she’s there’s no way she’s going to get to her lecture on time. She’s already a bit late anyway, and so she figures going inside for a cup of coffee couldn’t possibly do any harm.

As soon as Lily steps foot into the shop, the first thing she notices is her barista. James, it says on the name tag. It’s not that he’s particularly attractive or anything, it’s just that he’s got a stupid smirk on his face and she would rather like to wipe it off. If she’s being completely honest, it’s actually kind of offensive. How dare he give her that smile, does he actually think she’s going to fall for that? Psssssht. It’s not like it’s endearing or anything.

Lily waits patiently in line and, when the time comes for her to order her cappuccino, she does the only thing any rational woman such as herself would do in her situation; she gives him a fake name. She doesn’t miss the way the corners of his lips tug upwards when he finally shouts “Tall cappuccino for Wonderwoman!”

The plan had been to get in, get coffee, get out and never return. Of course, Lily’s life never goes as planned. The truth is, her workload this semester is stupidly intense and she needs all the caffeine she can possibly get. The coffee shop’s fortunate location is the absolute number one reason she keeps going back, she tells herself. It’s definitely not the fact that he keeps smiling at her like she’s God’s gift to mankind.

She could just go to the other café down the street, but it would be incredibly stupid to avoid such a nice coffee shop just to prove a point to no one but herself. Lily settles on simply ignoring the annoying git, and it would have worked too, except every time she has some spare time it’s his bleeding shift. Of course.

The next time she goes there, her order consists of a venti Americano and she tells him her name is Batman. This time, there’s another boy with James behind the bar. His name is Sirius but she nicknames him ‘sleek hair dude’ and wonders if his hair is actually real. She suspects he and James are probably a little gay for each other, because she’s never seen two other best friends smile like so much at each other.

Sometimes, when the shop is a little emptier James will come out of the bar with a new serving of the coffee she loves so much, and more often than not it’s on the house and the refill would be nice if it didn’t always come with a smirk attached to it.

After he goes back to his rightful place, Lily is left to wonder; is he flirting with her? She doesn’t want him to be but God, she just wants to know already.

“James is a dumb name anyway”, she rants to her friends. “His neck is stupidly long, he looks like a giraffe. Besides hes not that tall.” Lily much prefers short blokes anyway. Shorter guys are more down-to-earth.

“Plus,” she continues, “he always has two more of his friends around. One is actually quite decent, but the other? Who does that Peter guy things he his, always hogging all the cheesecake to himself? Maybe I want cheesecake too.”

“Lily,” her best friend, Mary, starts, “you’re allergic to dairy.”

“That’s not the point.” Lily shoots back. That was not the point. “I don’t like them one bit.”

This one time, she’s taking a walk with Mary and out of the blue, the not-so-subtle brunette decides she is craving caffeine like no other. They enter the stupid Starbucks, much to Lily’s dismay. Not fifteen minutes have passed and Mary’s already developed one hundred theories about James and the fact that he is, apparently, flirting with her.

“He’s hot, you should go for it.”

“He is most certainly not! He is not cute at all, Mary.” Except he is. He is sort of cute, in all of his gangly glory. But Lily has to save face, and so she asks, “Have you even looked at his hair?”

“It looks tousled.”

“It looks dumb.”

She goes back the next week only to find his phone number scribbled in her coffee cup. Lily isn’t flattered at all because honestly the nerve of some people. After that, though, she actually takes a proper look at what he wrote and just begins to laugh hysterically and keeps doing so for the next tem minutes. She had told him her name was Michelle, and James, like the enormous dork he was, asked her to be the first lady to his Obama.

It’s eleven pm and Lily is sitting on her couch, deciding if she should text him or not. It’s sort of late, maybe he’s sleeping? After all, he does start working quite early. She wonders just when did she memorise his schedule.

But because it is so late, Mary isn’t around to smile knowingly at her. She is completely alone in her bedroom, and for once, Lily doesn’t feel like she has to pretend.

Michelle Obama reporting to duty.

The response is almost immediate.

hi michelle

is michelle actually your name

Of course James would be a double texter.

Are you too good for capital letters? Or punctuation for that matter?

ha ha you’re hilarious

Oh yes. And pretty too.

If Mary were there, she’d accuse her of flirting.


v v pretty

Shouldn’t you be sleeping?

yes but i think you’ll find i don’t always do what i should

You rebel. Go to sleep, James.

only if you promise to come by the shop tomorrow

Alright. Goodnight.

you too michelle

She locks her phone and turns around, nuzzling her face in her pillow. For some reason though, she doesn’t seem to be able to fall asleep. Something feels off, unfinished. She picks up her phone again and stares at the screen. After a few moments of cautious deliberation, she starts typing.

Call me Lily.

do you ever think about how narcissa was probably the #1 drarry shipper

like draco would always write home about him: “freaking potter and his stupid green eyes, why are they so green and sparkly and shiny, like who even has eyes like that? and his dumb messy hair, like honestly if we weren’t archrivals i would brush it for him. and at the same time i want to run my hands through it. i hate potter so much, mother, can’t you tell?”

and narcissa saved all these letters and after the battle of hogwarts, when drarry started dating, she invited them over and spent the entire time just reading them aloud, to harry’s amusement and draco’s mortification

let’s hear it for the woman who singlehandedly managed to convince draco malfoy, literally the most stubborn person ever, that he actually had a crush on harry and not an obsession with that goddamn pair of glasses, i mean really?

Meet the Author

Dean Winchester found himself grinning like a hopelessly-happy idiot as he felt his daughter squirm impatiently on his shoulders. Her small feet kicked at his chest enough that he grabbed onto her ankles to keep her from bruising him. It was a big day for the both of them. Mary was going to meet her favorite children’s author and Dean was able to see his daughter’s unbridled happiness. Ever since the night he realized that one day Mary would be too heavy to sit on his shoulders, he has been finding more ways to capture her youth so that he’d have memories to hold onto when she grew up.

“Dad!” Mary squealed as she tugged on his hair. “The line is so long!”

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