Growing up, I know we all heard the saying “first love never dies” from all sorts of form or instances. Like for me, I still quite remember the first time I heard that quote was from a Filipino classic romantic comedy film (tho I can’t remember the title). It was good, if not the best, hearing those words being said by those characters and it felt so real yet superficial in a sense because I was just a kid back then. But it got stuck on my mind and I wondered for a while if it is even true. I can still remember the pessimist in me saying that love isn’t eternal. Love fades. Love dies. But then, love came knocking at my door, and gave me the answer to my question.
“Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long. No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here ‘till the moment I’m gone…”
That’s the opening lines of the song Gravity by Sara Bareilles. Gravity, in mechanics, is the universal force of attraction acting between all matter. Gravity is the word associated with the reason for “what goes up, must come down.” And in these opening lines, it is associated with the feeling of holding back all the things in life, even though you know that it is time to let go. You know that you should let go of those feelings but in all instances, you can’t. You tried almost everything to forget and move on but still it’s not enough. Because he still has you, he still has your heart.
“You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign…”
And like gravity, he’s not beside you yet you always feel his presence. Just the mere thought of him being beside you makes you forget every effort you’ve done just to move on. But then again, you’ll realize that there’s no “two” in the equation anymore. It’s just “you” now. On these moments, you’ll realize the power of love. It’s intangible power or force that holds your heart even without physically holding it back. It’s a crappy feeling yet you still hold on to that love you have, or at least you had. Because you know, deep within your heart, love is the only thing that makes you live thru each day, and you just want to feel it again.
“You loved me 'cause I’m fragile. When I thought that I was strong. But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone…”
In loving, you will be vulnerable. Maybe because you know that there’s someone out there who knows you even more than you know yourself. You tend to lose yourself in the feeling of having someone by your side and not even bother about your flaws, your faults and all the mistakes that you’ve done. It’s a great feeling, yet you’re afraid of it. You’re afraid of the thought of losing the one that you love. You’re afraid of having no one to be there when you needed it the most. You’re afraid because he is your weakness. He still holds you. That’s the irony of love, it keeps you high and takes you to places but it also drags you down and makes you feel alone and lost.
“I live here on my knees as I Try to make you see that you’re Everything I think I need here on the ground. But you’re neither friend nor foe though I Can’t seem to let you go. The one thing that I still know is that you’re keeping me down…”
Even with all the hurt and hate you feel, you keep on coming back to him. You’re trying to let go but when you’re love starts fading, a memory or a phone call or just a text from him brings you back quickly. You fail. Back to zero. Because he stole a huge part of your life, and that’s the thing that you can’t seem to let go. He is a part of you.
“Set me free, leave me be. I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be. But you’re on to me and all over me…”
It’s true, he will always have that special place in your heart, but that’s the truth that you don’t want to think about. The regret of losing your passion and your love makes it even harder for you to move on. It is frustrating, especially when you know that you still love him. But you need to move on. This time, do it not for him, but for yourself. He does not deserve you, and you deserve better.
It is inevitable. There will always be goodbyes in our lives. But you got to remember that with every goodbyes, comes new opportunities. Opportunities of meeting new friends, having new experiences, or even better, finding new love. Memories of those you loved will always be there. But rather crying over them, try to get some strength and learn from them. Overcome that gravity that holds you back, and love again like you’ve never been hurt before.
“Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long.”
You know what direction getting-back-together aus never go in? The it-didn’t-work-out route.
AU where Harry and Louis are madly in love in London, where Louis is a wildly successful chef in a famous restarting, who is only getting better, and Harry is still trying to get his big break as an actor.
One day Harry gets a call from a huge film producer in LA who wants him, offers him a position as a lead in a huge new tv show, and Harry wants it so so bad, but Louis is HERE, in London, and Harry figures if he keeps trying he’ll eventually get something here.
But Louis sees how much harry wants it, and does the selfless but horrible choice; he breaks up with him. Tells him he expects amazing things from Harry and doesn’t want to hold him back.
So harry is absolutely DEVASTATED, but he goes to LA to follow his dream like Louis wanted him to. They film a whole season of the show that is supposed to be the best new thing, but when it’s finally aired, it gets cut after the pilot because viewership is too low. And Harry’s been over here with only work to distract him from his heartbreak but now he doesn’t even have THAT any more, and he’s pining for this boy who left him, but he feels like he can’t go back home because Louis expected him to be this great success and he’s nothing but a terrible disappointment. He can’t go back like this, Louis deserves more than a boy who ran away only to wind up a failure.
So he’s taken up a job as a server to pay the bills, although he can barely find it in himself to keep trying out for parts when all he’s known for is a failed pilot episode. And one day months down the line, he’s serving a couple their quail compote and in the door walks Louis Tomlinson. Of course the chef of the restaurant is star struck because “that’s Louis Tomlinson, the top chef in London!” And Harry’s just standing there trying not to cry because Louis looks so much better even than Harry’s memories of him. And Louis locks eyes with him and Harry DOES start crying then.
But suddenly he’s enveloped in Louis’ arms and Louis is crying too and whispering things like “you could have come back” and “I watched the episode you were amazing” and “please let me not be too late” and all the fears Harry has of coming back a failure sort of melt away because THIS is so much more important than any career decision.
And Harry does get his big break in acting two years later, back in London, in Theatre instead of television. Louis sits in the front row for every performance.
Hi! I was wondering if you know the story about Zack De La Rocha hugging a crying 8 year old girl or something? I saw a post you reblogged but the link no longer works.
You are very fortunate, my love! When I read that story, I was afraid that one day the blog post would be unavailable (like it is now), so I actually printed out the story. I will type it for you:
“Zack de la Rocha was my after school daycare counselor.
It was 1990 - or ‘91, I forgot - and my dad enrolled my brother and me in a K-6 daycare program at a center unfairly close to our house. We loved it at first (It was called “Castle Park” because there was a castle in the park!) and then quickly tired of it. After a while, I grew to hate it. The kids were gross or mean, and the counselors were strange or disconnected, but mainly, as I’m prone to do now, I just wanted to stay home. There were, maybe, three counselors that made being wholesale babysat somewhat tolerable. One of them was Zack from Rage Against the Machine. But of course, this was pre-Rage. That was when he was just some 20-something-year-old who loved making music, had things to say, and worked part time at a local daycare center.
And I was eight and my brother was seven and one day the little shit pushed me off a huge cement sculpture. I went down face first, eating dirt as my chin felt the hardness of the ground. I cried, and though the memory starts to get fuzzy right around this point, I remember Zack coming over to comfort me, smiling and saying, “Little brothers…” and gave me a hug. But besides the hugging, what is an even better memory is the insane recitation Zack forced us kids to memorize. Randomly, though out the day, Zack would grab one of us, push our youthful facial fat together so we looked like hamsters, and demaned we repeat after him:
“Hi, my name is Chubby! My mom is chubby, my dad is chubby, even my dog is chubby. One day we couldn’t find his leg, that’s how chubby he was!”
It’s been so seared into my memory, so effective it’s hold on my brain, that I know, without doubt, that this is word-for-word exact. Then we were told to smile big. We had to smile so big it scrunched up our eyes and made the presence of our cheeks even more imposing. We became all cheeks and no eyes and, without fail, it would make Zack laugh every time. I laugh thinking about it now.”
Don’t worry about making your notes look beautiful in your class or lecture, instead focus on getting down all the relevant information. You can either type or write down these notes, use colours if you want but don’t make it too complicated.
When you get home, go through your notes with your text book and remake them, this means that you can get all the information you need in one place. Use as many colours and diagrams and symbols as you want!
Use colour - it helps to make different ideas and theories stand out. It also makes the notes look more aesthetically pleasing.
Try and write them by hand - for most people this will help you remember the information even better through kinetic memory, it also helps you decorate your notes better!
Don’t assume that you will remember certain bits of information in 6 months. I find that it helps if you write your notes as if you were going to give them to someone else who knows nothing about the topic.
If you have new information or new ideas, add them to your notes throughout the year. This will mean that when it comes to exam season you will have everything you need in one place and you will just have to learn the information.
I Hate You, I Love You [ Subaru Sakamaki x Reader ]
“Subaru! Stop it!” The full moon’s rays forced their enter through the window to which was framed by wine colored curtains. You tried to push the albino male away as his practical thirst for your life’s essence radiated off of him in a life endangering manner. Panicked breaths escaped your lips as you tried with all your body’s strength, but he grabbed your wrist. “You have no right to deny me,” came his gruff response as he slammed you up against the wall with your wrists pinned. His knee forced it’s way between your legs, and you were stuck with struggling in attempt to free yourself; kicking him where the sun never shone was a resort that was lost now.
The memory brought tears to your eyes as your body trembled beneath the sheets, slowly pulling them off of the bed as you rose to see that the person you wished to see was gone.
“I’m a monster,” he’d whispered one day, on the first day he didn’t call you any name. His eyes slowly rose themselves from the dull, tiled floor of the abandoned school hallway; crimson hues gazing into your eyes. “I’m not capable of love, so remember that.”
But somehow, he’d come so far, so far as to even create better memories. And you’d fallen for him, seeing a side to him that was hidden behind this angry exterior. To you, he was this hurt animal; any hurt animal had the instinct to lash out at anyone in the attempt of survival. You arrived to your bathroom’s mirror, and slowly lowered the blankets to see the bite marks he left you with, causing you to cringe as you recalled how you’d gotten them.
His fangs sunk into your neck, making a sound similar to that of someone biting into the ripest apple; and the feel of blood escaping your vein to which he’d bitten into made your face distort into a cringe. Soft cries escaped your lips, but it seemed to only add to his pleasure as his fangs sunk deeper into your skin making a gasp escape your throat from how harsh it was. “S-stop it! Subaru!” You roared, puffing out your chest the best way you could, in attempt to end this terror. Blood rushed down from your wound, and he withdrew, pushing down your clothing in a hasty manner, with bites beginning to litter your skin. "Shut up,“ he hissed at you. "I’m not opposed by that fear in your eyes,” he murmured as he stared at your skin, pushing you up even more against the wall. “I told you, I’m not capable of love.” He growled.
“I hate you,” you whispered in the present, the spur of the moment as you drowned in the memories consumed you. “I love you.” You covered the bite mark he’d pressed onto your skin, tears welling in your eyes. “I hate that I love you, Subaru.” You turned away, letting the blankets fall to the tiled flooring of your bathroom as you got yourself into your shower, the memories of what had happened rolling through your mind like the storm clouds that rolled over the blue sky.
It hadn’t been long until he’d pushed you onto the bed, looming over you to lick at your bleeding wounds. The bed sheets tainting themselves in droplets of your blood, before you finally were able to bring your hand up as to slap him. “Snap out of it, Subaru!” You screamed. And there was a harsh moment where he pinned your wrists down above your head, staring into your eyes before it seemed to have finally clicked and he let go. Completely. And like a ghost, he was gone.
It was an hour or two later, when you were finally able to step out into the sun’s rays, and rushed away towards a park that was alone; children were off in schools, getting their education. So the ringing of their laughter did not grace the air, and you took a seat upon a chocolate colored bench. Above, there was looming branches of the cherry blossoms that surrounded the beautiful park, the sun tainted in a pink tinge from the beautiful blossoms.
"You’re probably tired of me,“ your voice came out in a whisper. "You’re an idiot.” Subaru had responded to you as he leaned all the way back, propping up his elbow on the bench of the backrest of it. “I can be tired of a lot of other things, but I’m never tired of you.” He said. Blinking once, you were surprised by his words, before you looked down. “So shut up, you’re making me say stupid things.” "Sorry.“ You meekly responded with a sheepish grin on your lips as he watched you from the corner of his eye, his gaze making you blush beneath it, hiding your face as you thought the male was extremely handsome. And to be beneath his gaze was almost nerving.
”Hey! You!“ Called out a voice that made you turn your head, just in time to see a bouquet of roses, and a box of chocolate that was suddenly thrown on your lap. "Take these damn roses, and take the candy, and shut up.” Subaru’s gruff voice arrived to your ears as you gazed up at him. He plopped right down beside you, taking his seat with you on the bench beneath the cherry blossom tree. He seemed as if he had something he wanted to say, before you could part your lips to let words escape, he spoke. "Look, I’m sorry, damn it. I told you, I’m a monster!“ He shouted, his rage surprising you. Noting such a alarm, he shrunk back slightly, knowing his mistake before he shook his head. His breath began to grow heavy before he shook his head. "I hate you!” He outburst, but then he reeled it back, and shook his head. “Fucking damn it! I love you,” he reached out, and grabbed you by the shoulders. In the instant his atmospheric tension diminished as his crimson eyes so full of fierceness softened. "I want you, and no one can top you. I lied, when I said I wasn’t capable of love; you proved me wrong.“ He murmured as he leaned his face in more as his lips pressed to yours briefly, pulling away in a shy manner as a blush coated his cheeks. "You took down the caution tape I had around my heart…and you entered, I’m sorry I did what I did. I couldn’t hold myself back,” all other times he’d managed to hold his thirst back, but that night had been the true moment. Grabbing the roses and candy, he pulled you onto his lap, and held you tightly, burying his face into your neck; his lips pressing against the mark he did.
“I’ll try not to make it happen again, but I can’t make any promises.” He added silently, before he reached out, and gently opened up the box of chocolates, however, his pale hand took a moment to stop before his eyes wandered over towards your face as to survey your emotions. You did not speak, not a single word escaping your lips, as you were reflecting everything. Every word like a beam of sunlight that a flower took in from days of no sun. Soaking all that it could in. “Hey, what the hell’s wrong with you? It’s not the blood loss, is it?” Subaru’s wary voice came to greet your ears, like the water to that flower that held no sun. "Hey,“ he murmured once more, his cool hand slowly touching your warm face, the cold sensations were electrifying to every fiber of your being; so much that you shivered in response before casting your gaze to his eyes, where it was evident he held your attention. For a few seconds, the two of you stayed frozen, before you were just about to speak and a piece of chocolate was pushed through your lips. ”Don’t say anything, (Y/N), just know I’m really sorry.“ There was something else to it, his eyes almost growing with melancholy as you came to realize he’d regretted speaking of what was written on his heart. And it was almost as if he’d grown bashful, as you swallowed and opened your mouth, you grabbed his wrist, with your other hand you removed the candy that was between his fingers, and placed it onto the tray, lacing your fingers together as you pressed your cheek on his shoulder.
”Don’t be sorry, Subaru, and don’t regret anything because at one time; you wanted to say what you did, right?“ With your other hand, you gently caressed the skin of his cheek as he gazed to you. Frozen like a deer in the headlights, before he subtly began to melt into your touch, his shoulders angling downward, and his eyes softening. "Right,” he responded quietly. “So don’t take it back, not when…. Not when I love you too.” You whispered as you smiled softly. But then, it wasn’t long until he slid his free hand up your back before pushing you to him so that by a bull’s eye shot that your lips joined together. The gently sway of the cherry blossom made the branches lose some of their rosy petals, just so that it rained in clear day pink petals. Pulling back to see petals land onto Subaru’s hair, and feel some land on yours, another sway arrived making more fall; all of the petals were pierced by the clear daylight so they looked like pink flames falling. In clear fascination, you looked around. “Wow, it’s so beautiful,” you whispered ever so subtly. Pressing his face into your neck once more with his thumb gently massaging small circles onto the back of your hip, the albino grumbled. "It’s not as beautiful as you.“
I've fallen in love with my best friend. What a crush, eh? The worst part, she thinks I'm only interested in guys. Go ahead laugh at my horrible situation. It is kinda funny.
wow you sound pretty bitter
*listen to your heart blasts in the background. the ground is rumbling bc it’s also bass boosted. i sit in a lawn chair, casually pretending that i do not have a huge speaker behind me blasting a bass boosted version of listen to your heart* yeah i *gets drowned out by the chorus* yeah just do that
Fanart of my Pyre MVP! Trying to glean a thing or two from the amazing Jen Zee’s confident style. Transistor is still my personal favorite, but Pyre’s clearly built and expanded on everything Supergiant has achieved so far.
Detailed thoughts on the game below. No spoilers.
Despite the moon-touched girl being my MVP, my favorite Pyre character is someone else. That character finally let me make a choice I’ve been wanting to do since Deus Ex: Human Revolution. I’ll make fanart of them later.
[#승우] 300일 함께 해줘서 고마워요!
편지로 마음을 전했는데 잘 전달 됐는지 모르겠네요ㅎㅎ브이앱으로 만날 수 있어서 다행이었어요 ! 앞으로도 더 좋은 추억 남겨요 앨리스! 항상 고맙고 하트해요! 이번주도 파이팅하세요! 일교차 크니깐 감기조심!
[#Seungwoo] Thank you for being with us for 300 days! We poured our hearts out in the letters, but we’re not sure if it was delivered well hehe. I was glad to see you on the v app! Alices, in the future we will make even better memories! I’m always thankful! Fighting this week and be careful of the cold weather!
It’s a little weird. TL;DR at the bottom of the post.
Alright. I knew who 1D was because I taught fifth graders. You know who fifth grade girls circa 2012 loved? Harry Styles. I was not a fan of 1D because I was not a fifth grade girl, and What Makes You Beautiful is a totally creepy song. So the thing I knew about 1D was a) I was not their target audience, b) Harry Styles was the Jordan Knight of 1D (he couldn’t be Donnie; that was Zayn), c) Zayn was the not-white one, d) they had a shitload of merchandise.
Knowing only who Harry and Zayn were, when I’d hear snippets about 1D on the radio or on a TV program or whatnot, I picked up on Harry’s queer coding. “Someone” instead of “she/her” was a big one. So I figured he was gay, and Taylor? LOL. Sure. I remember when the morning radio shows were claiming “not important” was just a joke. Yeah, no. Dude just came out and you’re too stupid to see it…
Fast forward. Driving to work in the morning, Zayn’s left the group. I told my husband that would mean the band was breaking up, that’s how it works with boybands. A few months later, while driving to work again, I heard that Louis (Who? Which one is he? I didn’t know) knocked up a chick from a one night stand and she was only eleven weeks along.
What the hell.
I said to my husband, “Something is weird about this band. No boyband would ever announce a one night stand baby before the first trimester is over. That’s weird.”
No, I didn’t know who Louis was. I had no idea what in the fuck Larry was.
A month or two later, I was humming along to some annoyingly catchy tune (in the car…on the way to work…) and my husband said, “You like One Direction?”
“This is One Direction.”
“No it’s not.”
He pulled out his phone, and well, well, Wellington. Fucking “Drag Me Down.” So it’s a new release and the band is making new music? Post Zayn? Huh? Weird. I just kept bopping along to DMD.
A little while later (a few weeks, maybe), I decided to Google “One Direction baby” to see if a paternity test had been done because, again, to my grown-and-lived-through-many-boybands-self, announcing a one night stand baby at eleven weeks made no sense.
And that is how I discovered there was this huge gay conspiracy with Harry Not Straight Styles. And then everything made sense.
TL;DR: Knew Harry was queer. Zayn leaving was weird. Baby was weird. DMD was good. Here I am.
Plot: “Hey hi hello :3 can I get a Josh Dun imagine about the wedding night and it starts raining? Thank you :)”
Imagine: Josh Dun x Y/N
It was a big day. The biggest. More importantly; It was you and Josh’s big day.
Joshua William Dun, your best friend since high school, long-term boyfriend and now finally husband. You were now officially Y/N Dun, and nothing had ever sounded this right before. Not even your favorite song. Cliche? Absolutely and utterly yes, but you didn’t care. It was all how it was supposed to be.
The ceremony went by smoothly. Josh even shed a tear, when he saw you walk down the aisle, which made you tear up as well. It was all too beautiful and there was no point in suppressing your emotions. You both said “I do” and had your official kiss as spouses. It felt like your first, the one you shared in your second year of college, when you both finally confessed and came clean. You both wanted the other as more than “just” best friends. You wanted to be able to hug, kiss, touch, love the other whenever and wherever. And now you could. Forever.
“… So with that said: I wish you both a very lovely and happy life in each other’s company. And remember; Jenna and I will always have our door unlocked for whenever you get a bit sick of each other,” Tyler’s best man speech caused all the guests to laugh out loud in unison. “You all think that I’m kidding, but I really mean it,” he laughed as well and a cocky grin was spread across his face. “I really need to make sure that my man Josh stops by for a sleepover once in a while.” Another wave of laughs. “Anyways…” Tyler looked at me, then at Josh. “I’m thrilled that two of my best friends have ended up making each other so happy, and I hope the future will bring even better and happier memories. Jenna and I, we love you guys so much. Congratulations and may this amazing day be the beginning of your new, big adventure as official partners in crime!”
People started clapping as Tyler shared a tight hug with first Josh then you, before taking his seat between Josh and Jenna. The clapping stopped and the atmosphere was back to normal; people talking, forks and knives hitting plates, bottles popping and background music to accompany it all. You looked over at Josh, only to catch him gazing at you as he rested his chin on his folded hands. He smiled. You smiled back, before leaning in and pecking his soft lips.
“Hey,” the vibrations from his soft voice hit your lips.
“Hey, you. You doing okay? With the amount of people and everything?”
He nodded. “Yeah - actually it’s not much different from playing a show.”
You both chuckled.
“I’m glad then. As long as you’re happy.”
His smile grew even wider. “Well… I’m also really happy and calm, mostly because I have a happy wifey by my side. It helps a lot.”
“Wanna escape for a bit?”
Unfolding his hands, implicitly agreeing with your suggestion, he stood up and grabbed your hand. Before anyone could really pay too much attention to the both of you, you’d dragged Josh outside into the big garden behind the venue you’d rented. Even through the grey clouds covering most of the sky, you could see the sun setting on the big field of your favorite flowers. This had been one of the reasons why you’d picked this exact place to celebrate your love. The flowers outdid the other considered venue.
“It’s so beautiful here.”
“Yeah well, you have to pick something that matches the bride,” Josh added, grinning, well aware of the fact that what he just said was super cheesy.
“Aren’t you a sweetheart, Dun?”
“Yeah, but don’t tell anyone,” he pulled you in by the hand as you kept on walking. “It’s only for you, Dun 2.0.”
You cracked a laugh at your new nickname.
“Also creative, I might just add.”
Just as he was about to answer you, small drops of water started falling from the sky. You both looked up in awe, before looking at each other and grinning. You both knew that a rainy day was one of many shared guilty pleasures.
“We’re so lucky.”
“Yeah, we are…” Josh mumbled before grabbing your chin, carefully, and directing you to look at him. All while raindrops kept on falling, gaining intensity.
“I love you so much, Y/N.”
A drop landed on the tip of your nose, but before you had the time to wipe it away, Josh leaned in and pecked it away with his lips. You closed your eyes and grinned, resting your forehead against the bridge of his nose. A picture perfect moment.
“I love you too, Josh. So so much.”
Not being able to keep your hands off of each other for much longer, you both gave in and shared a long, tender kiss in the pouring rain. Both surrounded by the colors of the blooming flowers. This moment and this feeling was joy on a completely new level.
Back at the venue, hiding beneath the venue’s roof, Mark and his camera were shooting away. Tyler walked out, joining him in his photo session. Neither said anything before Tyler stopped by Mark’s side and crossed his arms.
“We both knew…”
Mark stopped what he was doing, lowering his camera away from his face, before sending a small smile you and Josh’s way.
“Yeah. Like Josh would miss out on such thing as the rain.”
Tyler’s lips copied Mark’s and spread into a small smile.
“He’s so weird.”
Mark chuckled at the statement, not saying anything, before he started shooting again. Tyler continued, finishing his statement.
“But at least Y/N appreciates it, so… I guess we’re good for now.”