even at a gay bar

moira getting recruited to blackwatch was a classic example of the visual butch/twink confusion phenomena. they invited her out for drinks at the gay bar and she accepted before they even thought to ask for her pronouns

anonymous asked:

Excuse me, but... why do you hate when straight woman go to a gay bar? I'm a straight woman and I live in Madrid, and here lot of straight people like going out around the gay area (Chueca). I sometimes go with my boyfriend, with my friends, and sometimes with my gay friends, who are very happy I go out with them in Chueca. For me, going to a gay bar is like going to any other bar. Wouldn't be homophobe if I said, no way I am gonna go to a gay bar/gay area? Sorry for my english.

Hi love. Your English is fine! 

This is a complicated issue, and I will try and speak about it to the best of my ability. First off: if I said I hate when straight women go to gay bars, I was speaking hyperbolically and being reactionary, which is totally my right as a lesbian who seeks safe space the same way any gay man does. But the truth is,  that I don’t SIMPLY hate it, every time, always. I hate the way it changes how gay bars feel to me, and I hate the culture it creates and lends itself to. It’s something I have nuanced and complex feelings about. 

Like, I understand why straight women enjoy going to gay bars. I know often times straight women just want to have a good time and get away from straight men, and as someone who ALSO wants desperately to get away from straight men,  I get how gay bars can provide that space. 

However, many straight women can be super disrespectful to that space because they don’t understand the historical significance of gay bars for gay people. Here are some of the things that are really damaging that I see on the regular. Not all of them are specific things all straight women do at gay bars, but they ARE inevitable affects of the PRESENCE of straight women and straight culture within an LGBTQ space: 

1. straight women sometimes get offended when lesbians hit on them at gay bars, which is absurd because….it’s a gay bar. You’re in our space. I also regularly witness straight women acting particularly disparaging or even DISGUSTED by butch women in gay bars, which really hurts and is so cruel and disrespectful. The amount of times I’ve seen gay men band together with straight women to mock butch culture/appearances is innumerable. 

2. At least in LA, its become such a commonplace thing for LOTS of straight women to go to gay bars, that they out number the amount of lesbians/wlw. First off, this just feels awful and isolating for us, but additionally, it makes lots of wlw so uncomfortable that they don’t feel safe cruising/asking women to dance because the probability of the girl being straight is really high. Can you imagine how lonely, scary, and frustrating this would feel for wlw to go to a bar that is supposed to be FOR THEM and feel afraid and outnumbered by straight women? 

3. Lots of straight women treat gay bars like some wild tourist space.  They get to come to the gay part of town and watch the gays interact in their natural habitat, they get to see crazy wild freaky things like boys in make up and butch girls in plaid and go-go dancers and hot guys making out! How titillating and exciting and funny! Now, I’m not saying you do this, personally, but you have to understand that MANY straight women DO. It feels awful and hurtful to just want to go out and dance and be yourself AWAY from the cruelty and scrutiny of straight people, and end up at a bar where you’re getting watched like a sideshow ANYWAY. 

4. Many straight women bring their boyfriends. For numerous wlw and MANY gay men, straight men are traumatizing. They are our abusers. They’re the last thing we want to see in our safe space. NOTHING makes me feel more unsafe and invaded and shitty at a gay bar than the presence of straight men. And if there are straight women, there are likely going to be straight men, at least eventually.  Now, even aside from them making me feel flat out unsafe an horrible, it’s also just disheartening and irritating to see straight couples taking up space in an LGBTQ environment when I’m literally trying to get away from them! I don’t want to see straight people making out. I don’t to see straight people dancing. I don’t want to see straight people standing by the bar pointing at us. If I wanted all that, I wouldn’t be going to a GAY BAR.  

5. Again, at least in LA, it’s so common for straight women to go to gay bars that straight men will actually go to gay bars with the intention of finding straight women, because they KNOW it’s a place where single women congregate. I kid you not, it’s a pick up artist “trick” to go to gay bars. This means, predatory straight men in LGBTQ spaces, trying to hit on women. This INCLUDES WLW because sometimes they can’t tell the difference or literally don’t care!!! I DO NOT WANT to be around straight men, even the ones who are there with their girlfriends, so I ESPECIALLY don’t want to be around the type of straight guy who is looking for a hook up!  I don’t want to be hit on my straight men, I don’t want my bi friends or my femme friends who came to a gay bar looking for solace and to escape unwanted attention to be hit on or checked out by straight men IN THEIR OWN SPACE!!!

I remember the first time a straight man hit on me at a gay bar, I started dancing with him, close and kind of sexy, because it’s not uncommon for lesbians to dance with gay men like that in a playful way. Then, he started touching me, and I thought it was a little weird but was like “whatever he’s probably gay” and THEN HE KISSED ME and it was like my fucking world came crashing down. I felt so terrified and unsafe and dirty, and when I tried to scramble away and was like “Oh my god I’m gay stop” he literally said, and I will never forget this, “I don’t care. You didn’t a minute ago.” 

Whether or not you realize it, the presence of straight women in LGBTQ spaces leads to the eventual normalization of this type of behavior. Straight people and particularly straight men are ALWAYS coopting space that doesn’t belong to them and making it unsafe for LGBTQ people, who are ostracized outsiders who live in danger everywhere else. If I can’t go to a gay bar to get away from these types of men, where can I go? If my friends can’t go to a gay bar to pick up women, where can they go? 

NOW, you mentioned you were from Spain. I have never been to Spain and have relatively no idea what the gay scene/bar scene is like there. Some of this might not be relevant to you personally, and I’m sensitive to the fact I’m speaking from the experience of someone who grew up clubbing in West Hollywood/LA, so this might not apply to you. It might be different in Spain, and I get that you want to support your gay friend when you go out with him. That makes sense to me, and I know there are ways straight women can be respectful in LGBTQ spaces. 

But please, consider all of this. Also, you said something that really stuck out to me: “ For me, going to a gay bar is like going to any other bar.”

That stings, because for us, going to a gay bar is NOT like going to any other bar. Going to a gay bar is like going home, or it should be. You have to understand we don’t get to feel safe or supported most of the time when we exist in the world. We have to seek out those safe spaces, so when those safe spaces get infiltrated by the people who make the rest of the world unsafe for us, IT HURTS. We don’t want gay bars to be like any other bar, they need to be treated as the very specific, historically significant, cultural phenomenon that they are. It’s not just a rainbow on the wall that makes a gay bar a gay bar. I hope that makes sense. 

Further reading here! 

british foxes au

hear me out, I am selfindulgent

  • kevin is northern irish okay
  • neil is welsh!!! he spent a lot of time up in north wales while on the run and he has an awful accent oh my god
  • dan, matt, allison, nicky and aaron are all from london
  • renee is from glasgow but went to live in london with stephanie walker
  • andrew was moved around a lot thanks to foster care but he spend almost all of his childhood in northern england and he also has a god-awful accent
  • they play exy in london and the ravens play in belfast
  • but anyway!! twinyards!!
  • Aaron is affronted by Andrews accent
  • how can someone look just like him and sound like that
  • he doesn’t pronounce anything right
  • andrew thinks aaron’s accent is worse, naturally
  • pre-uni nicky spends most of his time trying to get the twins to call a truce when they mimic everything the other says
  • aaron tells andrew daily that he can’t speak English
  • andrew tells aaron daily that he’s a chav
  • the one thing more annoying than andrew’s accent? kevin’s accent
  • just imagine; not only have they got someone screaming at them everyday that they’re not good enough, he screams in an irish accent
  • sometimes wymack wants to cry at this mess of a team
  • it gets worse when they recruit neil, oh god
  • he’s in a little village in west wales called aberporth when he’s recruited but he’s spent time in south and north wales too so his accent
  • it’s this awful mess of strong, heavy welsh mixed with a hard, common cardiff accent
  • wymack looks at him for twenty seconds the first time he talks, trying to translate in his head
  • andrew on drugs,, he doesn’t shut up about neil’s accent
  • neil.s accent gets stronger when he’s ranting and can you imagine him transitioning into welsh halfway through screaming at riko while watching a ravens game
  • andrew gets angry whenever neil speaks welsh because why is such an unattractive language so attractive when it comes out of his mouth because he already has english, german and french why does he need a language that 0 people speak
  • eden’s twilight is a nightclub in essex and instead of being all edgy and gothic it’s a gay bar lbr
  • aaron puts up with it because the drinks are cheaper and it was the only job that he was offered after leaving school with 0 qualifications and a report about all the fights he got into
  • aaron went to night school, turns out hes freaking intelligent and now hes in uni to become a doctor (he wont forget all the help from edens though)
  • neil is mr. unobservant despite being convinced that he is the master of being alert (unreliable narrator who) and doesn’t even realise it’s a gay bar until roland asks him about him and Andrew and he takes a second look around
  • there are drag queens there every night neil is2g
  • katelyn is from edinburgh purely because I love Scotland and katelyn is cute
  • aaron goes weak at her accent oh god
  • allison’s parents are actually royalty
  • like prince and princess or something, not the main family but still rich as hell
  • she’s been trying to escape their standards her whole life
  • can you imagine andrew and neil in their pro careers oh god
  • you’ve got this power couple, both sharp as anything, one on offense and one on defense and no one can fucking understand either of them

this is all I have for now but boy… i’ll probably add to this or write some specific scenes, i’m thinking of making ths a series

Let’s break this down for the little minds who don’t want to remember people like me exist tho.

First off, let’s discuss “community bars and clubs” vs “community spaces that are not bars and clubs.”

Fun and social community spaces are obviously needed. And no, not for the sole reason of getting hookups, don’t fucking be like that. Those spaces only existing as bars and clubs is immediately non accessible to a lot of people.

So why are these places non accessible?

Disabled people (I don’t have the energy to be out for very long at all unless I’m sitting down and not taxing myself.) Nd people (I have anxiety and depression that’s triggered by being in close places packed with people. A bar might be OK, a club is a no go.) Poor people (I cannot afford bars, or the drive to them, as all the places with liqueur licenses are a half hour+ drive into the city.) And minors (on average most bars and clubs don’t allow people under 18 if the age limit isn’t already 21.) cannot get into these places a lot.

What are people like that supposed to do? People with other hindrances that don’t allow them into these spaces?

Regular community events and organizations can be just as inaccessible. First thing that comes to mind? I am in the closet and dependent on my queerphobic family, and I cannot drive anywhere alone. I literally cannot ask to be driven to LGBT+ centers and events. I am cut off.

You know what I can do? Ask to be taken to a cafe. A book store. A regular looking place that cishet people may not immediately be suspicious of, but that I know is safe for me to be open, relax, and socialize without the pressure of alcohol, late nights, and sexual expectations.

Even if I can’t keep suspicion off that place, they are ten times more likely to be situated in accessible areas I can pretend to go to instead, rather than the pub lined areas of town that are obvious and my parents would never take me.

The suggestion of “just go to a normal cafe/bookstore etc” is just as thoughtless and callous as saying “there should be no gay bars.” Even if we can’t go to bars and clubs and events, we need to have spaces set out for us where we can be open and safe.

Are we not worth consideration? Are people like me supposed to be left stranded and isolated, because what? The idea of places like LGBT+ cafes is annoying to you for some reason?

Literally the ONLY reason is that you don’t want people like me to have access. Restricting access means you want filtered people in your spaces, that people like me are unwanted. That we don’t deserve a space.

You cannot be against LGBT+ quiet spaces like cafes without being against disabled, nd, poor, closeted, and underage people having community access.


Non-ace: We need non-sexualized LGBT spaces

Aphobes: Yes!! You’re right!! There are minors that need safe spaces, as well as LGBT people who might be recovering alcoholics who can’t go to bars!! 

Any a-spec ever, even a gay a-spec: We need non-sexualized LGBT+ spaces

Aphobes: Uh, stop being so homophobic?? Let gay people have sex and be sexual,,,,,, stop telling us we’re dirty for liking sex,,,,,

[The first antibody test for HIV (then known as HTLV-3/LAV), licensed in 1985,] had another major drawback. It would potentially allow the selective identification of gay men, putting the eight million believed to be exposed at immediate risk for losing employment, health insurance, housing, and basic freedoms, including the freedom from quarantine. For this reason, the test was, in Dr. Caiazza’s emphatic estimation, “extremely dangerous.” Police officers in some cities were taking suspected carriers to hospitals in handcuffs demanding tests. Proposals for detention camps were gaining adherents across the country and the culture war against gay sex—still illegal in many states—had whipped into a frenzy. Atlanta’s Metropolitan Vice Squad marched into the Club Baths, a wholly legal establishment, and arrested dozens of men there on charges of sodomy, a criminal act in Georgia. In Gainesville, Florida, sick AIDS patients were being deported to San Francisco, no matter the cost. State health officials in California were talking about making results from blood bank tests reportable, converting a voluntary act of civic altruism into an anti-gay dragnet.

In fact, quarantine orders had already been issued by the CDC for any foreign homosexual attempting to enter the country—supplementing the statute that barred gay people generally, even as tourists. This surprising news was only revealed when a reporter from The Bay Area Reporter, the Native’s sober counterpart in San Francisco, stumbled upon it. The memorandum of quarantine instructed medical officers from the Public Health Service to ask suspected aliens if they were homosexual, and to hold those answering yes in special detention facilities until they could be deported. The CDC claimed it opposed the order but was forced to issue it by the Reagan administration. Gay papers across the country reprinted the BAR story, but the news was ignored by the non-gay press. Nobody in America knew the perils we faced. Heterosexual friends and relatives discounted our concerns as overblown. If the perils were credible, surely they would know about it from Mike Wallace or Harry Reasoner. According to the Native’s Washington correspondent, the assistant secretary of health, Edward Brandt Jr., said that “such extreme measures as quarantine and mass firings of gays and other high-risk individuals from schools and hospitals have been seriously discussed within administration councils.” The draconian political solutions seemed almost as serious as the epidemic itself.

—  David France, How to Survive a Plague: The Inside Story of How Citizens and Science Tamed AIDS (2016), Pt. 2, Ch. 3
What "One Day At A Time" On Netflix Got Right With Coming Out

If you’ve been living under a rock or just “too busy” to watch Netflix, stop what you’re doing and add “One Day At A Time” to your queue now!

“One Day At A Time” on Netflix is a modern version of the classic sitcom about a Cuban-American family. Penelope (Justina Machado), the mother, is recently separated from her husband and trying to figure out her new life raising her kids Alex and Elena, while also living with her mother, Lydia (Rita Moreno).

I love a good family-oriented show so I was immediately intrigued. What really drew me in was when Elena was dealing with her sexuality and coming out to her family.

The reason I loved this storyline is because I feel like I never see shows with girls dealing with coming out.

Elena first tells her brother Alex who is supportive and then tells her mom. Her mother admits she feels weird about it and does not really know why. She even goes to a gay bar with a friend to help get use to LGBTQ environments.

What I loved about Penelope admitting that she did feel a little weird about Elena coming out to her is because that’s something you don’t really get in many LGBTQ shows with youth coming out to their parents. It’s always complete rejection or acting like nothing is wrong. It was more realistic because even when parents are supportive, they still have feelings and emotions to work through about understanding who their child really is.

Elena then tells her grandmother, who she knows will not take her coming out well. Her grandmother tells Elena she’s ok with it, but later tells Penelope that she is a Christian woman and is taught that homosexuality is not ok. This was another discussion that was extremely relatable.

The last time I saw a storyline where a LGBTQ youth comes out to their grandmother was Santana Lopez on “Glee” and if you remember this too, you remember her grandmother wasn’t ok with it either (until her girlfriend talked to her and blah blah blah).

The shows season ends with Elena coming out to her father during her quinceañera. Her father thinks she’s confused and going through a phase. As a gay man, I’ve heard the “phase” claim so much growing up, but that phase has not gone away!

What I liked about how the season ended is it didn’t have the dad magically accept her. He ended up leaving her quinceañera. You’d expect her dad to come out of no where and be loving and accepting, but that is not what happens.

I appreciated the writers ending it where her mom, grandmother and brother end up doing the father-daughter dance with her because it shows a more realistic approach to acceptance. Yes, sometimes your parents will be supportive, but other times you’ll have friends and loved ones who won’t.

What I’ve learned growing up is everyone isn’t going to like you, but cherish the ones who are there for you and allow you to be your true, authentic self. (x)

Clearly, a favorite assistant.

(A note: gay bars of this particular type (”okama bars”) in Japan are pretty popular with straight people, and sometimes even called “tourist bars” (where straight people come to be entertained by gay people). They are staffed by gay men, cross-dressing gay men, and sometimes transgender women (that’s… rare though), and don’t necessarily cater to a gay clientele. This type of bar often functions same as a host club.)

anonymous asked:

I know this post of yours is quite old, so I'm not sure if you remember, but this makes me stumble. >He’s always been curious about ‘how sex with a man would feel like’< Is that a quote from Sangwoo? Because I only remember Bum saying in chapter 1 that he 'started to wonder how sex with him (Sangwoo) would feel like', but I can't think of any situation with Sangwoo being curious about fucking Bum.

No it’s not a quote! My post says “sex with Bum to be exact”. Don’t rely on the narrators too much, anon. They’re not reliable at all! Think of how many times Bum went back and forth to ‘I love him’ and ‘I hate him’. (and I find it funny how a lot of people believed it when he said he doesn’t love him anymore.) Actually Sangwoo got kinda ‘sexual’ with Bum from the very first chapters and had been experimenting to figure out if he can ‘go all the way’.

First a touch and some ‘justification’ for his attraction,

then a kiss,

when Bum gets persistent, he rejects him ‘because he was not ready’, he’s taking things slow,

more experiments,

then later asks Bum if he wants to do the ‘succ’,

then an experiment (practice round) with the dildo,

more touching and this time he touches between Bum’s legs (more experiments),

when he went to pharmacy I think he bought condoms and wanted to go all the way but that was the night Bum told him about his uncle and ruined his plans!


maybe I did word that sentence badly. I don’t think Sangwoo has ever had sexual feelings for another man before Bum. He even tried it with the ‘gay-bar-man’ and it didn’t go well. Bum is either his type or just very special.

when isak told kollektivet he was moving in with even and noora would get her room back eskild was like ‘my nose will be grateful to smell the scent of lavender again’, but as the date comes closer eskild starts to get really sentimental and keeps telling anecdotes of isak secretly living in the basement, of being sweet to everyone, little things that he would miss about him and isak is a bit embarrassed but mostly touched. then when the day comes and they’re standing outside the building about to drive away with the van, eskild hugs isak and doesn’t want to let go, just clings to him and isak has this soft smile on his face when he says ‘that’s enough eskild i can’t breathe’ but he hugs eskild back just as strongly and whispers ‘thank you for everything’ and eskild is like ‘nope we’re not saying goodbye, i don’t want to cry it’d ruin my mascara… so worry not isakyaki i’ll be bugging you all the time since you’re still my little baby gay son and even though you lucked out big time with this one (he nods at even), i still have things to teach you so better invite me to your housewarming party’ and isak rolls his eyes but tells eskild that first they have to get basic furniture bc so far they only have a mattress and eskild is like ‘that’s all you two will need the first few days to christen your new place’ and he winks at even over isak’s shoulder and isak tells him in a flat voice ‘why would you think we haven’t christened it already’ and eskild lets out a delighted little laugh and smacks a big kiss on isak’s cheek and tells him ‘when noora and eva first showed me your picture and asked me find out if you were gay or when i found you in a gay bar drunk and in denial i wasn’t sure what i was getting myself into but over the months i started to see the sweetness and love underneath all that grumpiness and now you’re moving in together with your sunshine of a boyfriend thus making me the proudest guru in the history of gay gurus. and just an advice, i know even and you tell each other everything but seriously isak maybe should clear your browser history once in a while’. 

and then eskild lets go of isak who is still kind of processing what’s been said and eskild blows a kiss and goes back inside. and only when even parks the van outside their new apartment does isak exclaim and ‘wait what?’ and he immediately dials eskild’s number ‘what do you mean noora and eva showed you my picture? and i told you i didn’t know it was a gay bar, eskild!’ and even just smiles to himself and starts carrying their things up and when a few minutes later isak is about to cross the threshold, even is there to meet him with a long and sweet kiss and after they break apart even only murmurs ‘i love you baby but you seriously need to clear your browser history’. isak furrows his brows in confusion ‘what do you mean?’ and even tells him with a grin ‘i think jonas borrowed your phone today for something and he got the shock of his life when you saw what we googled the other day… you know the thing where you put your tongue up my-’ and isak covers even’s mouth before he can say it, feels his face go all blotchy pink ‘jonas saw that? and you’re telling me this just now? wait is that why he couldn’t look me in the eye all afternoon?!’ to which even just grins and shrugs his shoulders. and isak is all indignant ‘even, you should’ve told me! i can’t face jonas after that! and don’t even think there will be any christening tonight!’ but with all those endless kisses even makes him forget all about his embarrassment and in the evening when even has fallen asleep next to him isak gets a text from eskild ‘you know if for whatever reason you ever needed a place to stay i know a 5* basement that is always open to grumpy little gay sons’. isak never answers the text but he falls asleep with a smile on his face.

anonymous asked:

au where ronkald fucking mcdonkald came out at 18 and everyone supported him and he got to be out while he was still a twink

god can you even imagine though… paddy’s would have been the hottest gay bar in philly from the very beginning, with mac as its flirty and awful bouncer who’d spend all of his time shamelessly hitting on all of the men who’d come by


Duckvember: Free/Multiverse Duck
Gandy Goose was a classic Terrytoons cartoon character from the early 30s. He was almost always paired up with Sourpuss the cat. A typical Sourpuss and Gandy Goose cartoon would start off with them in the same bed and then having shared, surreal dream adventures that maybe actually happened… in fact, they were such an item, the actual Mighty Mouse show had a whole episode where Gandy had a breakdown when he couldn’t find Sourpuss after being unfrozen in the 80s.

Tales from the Gay Bar 2

@marionravenwoodisstillhere @brookietf @thefingerfuckingfemalefury @drfitzmonster

So, remember that friend/co-worker I mentioned who accidently went into a gay bar and ended up meeting a cute, cheesy little redhead lesbian? Well they’ve started hanging out, and both gave me permission to post about them. (For now, they don’t want to be named, so I will call the redhead R and my friend T.) Not dating yet, but I have a hunch it won’t be too long before it gets that far. Turns out they’re both sporty/adventurous/outdoorsy types. They went indoor rockclimbing together over the weekend. At some point, R was higher up than T, she somehow managed to get her foot twisted up in the rope netting, flailed around for a moment before falling and hanging upsidedown by her foot. (No injuries.) She looks around for a moment, then starts flailing again and shouts “Help! I’m starting to feel like a banana!” (Turns out she’s a huge adorable dork.) T just starts laughing, then she ends up getting caught and falling, also hanging upsidedown, right next to R. (Again, no injuries.) Told me she turned bright red from embarrassment, R just grinned at her and asked “So, come here often?” Making them both laugh until they were finally helped down. And after their little adventure, they even went back to the gay bar where they first met for drinks.

(I’m sure eventually they will be comfortable with me revealing their names.)

To the Straight Men at the Gay Bar

To the straight men at the gay bar
To the straight man at the gay bar
who takes her tits as an invitation to speak
Did you not see the Ms on the back of her hands signaling minor
Signaling young
Signaling half your age
And not interested
You approach her anyway
Because she’s alone with her phone against the wall
She pulled it out of her pocket for a reason
She does not want to look at you
and would prefer
If you kept your eyes to yourself
She is not the feast to quell your hunger
She is not the prize to placate your greed
She is here
To kiss pretty girls
And celebrate being gay in the one place in town that doesn’t want her dead
Her body is not an envelope for you to fill
She is not a story waiting for you to write her
She is her own beast
And it is stronger than yours 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you think Isak ever kissed a boy before?Like at a party game? Guys in my country is in on those games all the time and they don't even do the no homo anymore just laughter like all other friends. Maybe it's because many reality shows do it all the time and the younger generations doesn't think it's a big deal? I could see Isak been kissed or pecks but then played it off as nothing but has been a huge deal but Even was his first real kiss he could really feel and enjoy? Thoughts?:)

hello darling! so, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, as you probably realized by now, ha! I was trying to come up with a scenario in which Isak did kiss a boy before Even. the gay bar that Eskild found him in, maybe? on a balcony at a random party when nobody was looking? barely even a kiss, just lips brushing but feeling everything for a split second before going back to hiding again?

but I just kept remembering the way Isak looks when Even kisses him in that pool. how he look so entirely so overwhelmed and so surprised and so relieved about what’s happening to him. how he can’t seem to believe someone’s kissed him and he’s actually feeling something, a warmth settling in the pit of his stomach and an ache in his heart that makes him want to reach out instead of lean back. how he comes across so hesitant about touching Even’s shoulders, his back, his arms, but almost involuntarily presses himself closer anyway. how, for the first time in a long time, he’s allowing his heart to take the lead, his body, even, instead of his brain and I think, there’s no way Isak kissed a boy before meeting Even and I for one, am so, so glad because boys like Isak deserve to get their first real kiss from boys like Even!

McDanno Fic Recs 💗

The lovely @tari-aldarion asked me for some fic recs and I thought, why not just post a whole list here on tumblr for other people to enjoy?? So here you go!

Undercover fics:

You put the lime in the coconut (and add the pineapple) by sirona: Danny hates that he has to go undercover with Steve again, at a gay bar no less. He doesn’t even know how he’s supposed to flirt with the goof –without giving his ridiculous crush away, that is. Still, he has to give it to Steve – the guy makes a mean cocktail.

Mr Rosso Goes to Hawaii by Siria: In which there is an undercover op, and no one looks like a waiter.

All the Way by VictoriaAGrey: Danny has lost count of how many times he and Steve have used the sexual tension between them for undercover work, only for it to be bottled away after the op is over. With Saint Michael as his witness, that ends tonight.

Motive and Method by lamardeuse: Your standard undercover-in-a-gay-bar cliché, complete with fellatio.

I Keep Fixing Every Habit That I Break by queenklu: *deep sigh* Steve goes undercover as a rent boy, as one does. Danny is just a bit too fascinated with the hole in the back of Steve’s painted-on jeans. Ridiculous, ridiculous comment fic porn.

Tattoo fics:

Inked by Merrov: In which Danny’s brain explodes when he first sees Steve’s ink.

Inked by thehoyden: Of course Steve is enjoying himself. They’re bait for a serial killer who has some sort of serious hangup about tattooing loved ones’ names on their skin – of course Steve thinks this is practically like a vacation, but better, because the chances of collateral damage are higher.

The Color And the Shape by gehirnstuerm: Danny finds out about Steve’s new tattoo. The discovery affects him more than expected.

First meeting fics:

Before it Began by Leslie_Knope: There’s an empty spot next to the guy, so what the fuck—Danny steps up to the bar and sprawls into the seat. He’s had a terrible day, so at the very least he deserves some eye candy to surreptitiously enjoy while drowning his sorrows.

Love’s a Battlefield (and the Navy Did Not Train Steve for This Shit) by cyerus: The Kalakaua-Kelly clan are determined to matchmake Steve. Out of desperation, Steve makes up a boyfriend named Danny. It doesn’t quite go according to plan.

Steve To The Rescue by OnlyHim: Danny is on a blind date that is absolutely not going well. Lucky for him, Steve is listening in on it.

Sick fics:

The Saga Begins by kaige68: Danny checks in to find that Steve’s under the weather.

The Worst Patient Ever by GeckoGirl89: Danny hadn’t been around someone who acted this immature when they were sick since Grace was a toddler. By the time she was five, she was displaying more maturity than Steve was now.

Other amazing fics:

It Only Hurts When I Breathe by Jinx (jinx37kat): After Holiday Prompt-A-Thon: #8 - Danny gets hurt on the job (any level of seriousness) and tries to hide it.

Fear of Flying by GeckoGirl89: Danny never used to have an issue with planes, but now he’s trying to mitigate his anxiety enough to prevent a panic attack.

Everything but us by withoutwords: “I guess we could start by being happy for them.” /  ”I am,” Steve says, a little too vehemently, his jaw clenching when Danny huffs at him. / “Of course you are. You always are.” / “What does that mean?” / “It means when I was leaving with Rachel, or Lori was going home, or Cath was disappearing to who knows where - again - you’re always happy for us.”

Chagrined (by wolfypuppypiles: Steve gets hurt during an explosion and worries Danny. As soon as Danny knows his partner is okay he gives him the telling off of his life.

Ho'i Hou Ke Aloha by CowandCalf: The liver transplant was the turning point in Steve’s and Danny’s friendship. So much changed between them and Steve struggled to understand the reason why. He feared the fact that Danny was fed up with him planning a life without the Five-O task force - and without him. Steve tried to please Danny, to support him in any way he could. But nothing seemed to be the right move. Danny was always either angry or hostile in his behavior with Steve. Steve had a go at one last possibility to get Danny to talk. But things got even worse.

Gym Bros

Photo credit to malemuscularbodyswap

“You’re getting kind of old, babe.” said Darren to his bf, Rob. 

“I know! I haven’t body hopped in years. I think it’s time to start fresh.”

“There’s this guy at the gym. Huge 27 year old bodybuilder. I think he would work nicely for you.”

“Are you saying he would work well for me or work well for you?” Rob winked.

“A little of both.” Darren smiled giving Rob a quick peck on the lips. “ It will be different. He is pretty big.”

“How are we going to do this?”

“Gym locker room. Closing time. Hide in the shower so he doesn’t see you and when I give the signal jump right in.” 

The next day, Darren had gone to the gym and kept Mike, the unsuspecting bodybuilder occupied until it was almost time for the gym to close. 

“aw man. I didn’t realize how late it was. Probably should head to to locker room now to change before the place closes.” Darren indicated to Mike. 

Mike agreed. 

They both made their way to the locker room. 

“Hey man, listen. It’s been really nice working out with you. I can’t imagine being as big as you, but you’re definitely an inspiration to me man.”

“Thanks, man.” Mike responded. 

“I really mean it.” Darren moved in for a kiss while opening his eyes and signaling Rob to come out from the shower. Mike pulled away after a short bit. 

“What are you…” Before Mike could finish his sentence, Rob had come out of the shower and his spirit ran out of his body and into Mike’s back. Mike threw his head back and gasped as Rob entered his body taking full control. Mike let a deep breath in and out and opened his eyes as he looked side to side, flexing his arms and feeling up his torso. 

“Man. It feels good to be young again and man, you were right. I feel huge.”

“You ARE huge, babe.” 

“Let’s skip the shower. This body wants to go out clubbing and afterwards I want to fuck you so hard your head will spin.” The new Mike pulled Darren close to him. 

“mmm yeah. That sounds fuckin awesome….Mike.”

They headed out of the gym and didn’t even bother putting their shirts back on. There was a gay bar not too far away from the gym. They danced shirtless and the new Mike felt a rush he hadn’t felt in years. He made out with his partner the entire night and kept a hard on while rubbing against him. 

The rest of their night is up to the imagination. 

anonymous asked:

Yo! Not sure if you're still taking director sanvers prompts, but I was wondering if you could do one about Alex being hit on and being totally oblivious about it. Maggie and Lucy are not happy about it where it goes is up to you :)

Sorry for the delay :)

Between a detective, the right hand of a black ops agency, and the co-director of that same agency, it was hard to schedule a date night. They were lucky to be able to schedule time at the same gun range to be honest, and that was far more entertaining for Alex and Maggie than for Lucy. Sure there was late night take out at Alex’s, one on one meet ups for drinks, that once a month game night that Lucy still couldn’t be on time to, but being able to all get out together was rare.

Tonight was supposed to be about getting out and having fun, dancing and drinks, unwinding together after weeks of hard cases and disasters, just three women having a great time, coming home a little tipsy before worshiping each other into the wee hours of their day off.

That was the plan, anyway.

“Ten bucks says she hasn’t even realized this is a gay bar.”

Lucy snorted. “I’m not taking that bet, three women have bought her drinks in the last ten minutes and she hasn’t realized they’re hitting on her.

“It was a lot cuter when we were the ones she was oblivious to.”

“Maggie, you made three sex jokes of increasing obviousness on the ride here, and she still thought you were talking about an arts and crafts project.”

Maggie laughed. And really, Lucy couldn’t hold a straight face for long after saying that either. God help her, Alex was a certified genius, but she was about as observant as a brick wall sometimes. It was cute, right up until other women got handsy.

Which was about to happen, because Alex was doing the thing she does where she ducks her head down and looks up at people while her cheeks blush all prettily and Lucy was not okay with sharing that look with anyone but Maggie. Lucy was done watching other people make her favorite agent blush. “Watch my purse, Mags.”

“Need me to hold your flower too, baby?”

Lucy paused and shot an incredulous look over her shoulder. “I need you to stop hanging out with Winn and Kara on the internet, apparently.”

Maggie’s grin was deeply dimpled, and equally unrepentant. “Go get our girl, Major.”

Lucy approached the bar with a straight spine and a smile that could make a grown man cry. She shoved her way past the women casually hanging around her girlfriend and paid absolutely zero attention to their indignation, wrapping her arms around an unnaturally stiff Alex. Hm. Maybe she was finally catching on. Despite being the taller of the two, Alex practically melted into Lucy. She, of course, basked in the glares and irritated looks she was receiving from Alex’s fan club. Couldn’t blame them, really, she had done the same to Maggie, once upon a time. But, while Alex’s bed was massive, the lanky agent was a starfish at night and Maggie stole the covers, so sorry ladies, no room for tagalongs. 

Lucy leaned up a bit to rest her chin on Alex’s shoulder and brush her lips against the agent’s ear. “I know you’re having fun making new friends, babe, but Maggie and I want some time with you.”

Alex’s smile becomes blinding when she glances over at Maggie, who holds her drink up in salute. Alex grabs one of the hands wrapped around her and uses it to spin Lucy to her front. “Well. Can’t keep you two waiting or you’ll keep me waiting later.”

A casual “Nice meeting you ladies,” is tossed over her shoulder as Alex allows Lucy to drag her back to the table. Because Lucy is Lucy, she pulls Alex into a sweltering kiss as soon as they stop next to Maggie. Which, of course, meant that Maggie pulled each of them down to her in turn. God Lucy loved the taste of jealousy in the air, and it was billowing over from the bar. Oops.

Hey if the women of National City weren’t smart enough to snatch this one up before, that’s their problem. You snooze you lose.

Also? Sometimes Lucy was really glad Alex was oblivious to the attention she drew. If she knew, she’d be a hell of a lot smoother, and then Lucy would miss out on seeing Agent Badass blush the color of her sister’s cape.

Tonight was about them, after all. Just them, a couple of drinks, a couple of dances, and hopefully, not too much later, much less clothing.

Provided the world didn’t try to end in the middle of getting her girlfriends naked. Again.

Seasoned Gay

On AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11254284

It’s Friday and Maggie is more than happy to spend the evening holed up in one of the local gay bars drinking scotch and enjoying the feeling of scantily clothed women pressing around her on the dance floor, feeling the pulsing music around her as she danced somewhat jerkily with some blonde girl that she’d bumped into shortly after making her way onto the dance floor, happily letting the rest of the week fall away.

Or it would be if she could focus on the girl in front of her (and how she was gonna get her home) and not the beautiful red head sitting slouched at the bar, cradling her drink in her hands and scanning the bar with a look of nervous excitement plastered across her face. Definitely a baby gay… And a cute one at that… And… That’s a dude…

She watched as one of the straight guys that hung around the bar trying to pick up chicks approached the girl and started trying to talk her up. Maggie felt her body tense and she looked between her dancing partner and the girl at the bar and made a split second decision.

“Gotta go save the baby gay at the bar, dudebro’s hitting on her and she doesn’t seem to know what to do.” The blonde glanced towards the bar and after catching sight of the scene in front of her she scowled and shook her head.

“You have fun with that, try not to break his nose, I know it’s tempting.” And the girl’s already turned around and found some other girl to dance with and Maggie’s making her way towards the bar where the girl is leaning as far away from stereotypical surfer playboy as physically possible. Maggie got to the bar just in time to catch the tail end of what he was saying.

“…And I know I can show you a better time than any of these bull dykes could ever dream of. I’m pretty well endowed if you catch my drift.” He winked and none to discreetly pawed at his junk, causing both Maggie and the red head to scrunch their noses up in disgust at him.

“Yeah, I’m still good.” The other woman downed her shot and signaled the bartender for another one. The guy leered at her and scooted his stool closer to his so that their knees were touching as he moved his hand onto the girl’s thigh.

“Come on babe, seriously I’ll show you a better time than any dyke in this bar could possibly imagine.” Maggie half groaned before firmly inserting herself between the two, knocking the guy’s hand any and forcing him to pull back from the other woman.

“Excuse me, sir, but I’m fairly certain the lady already said no so if you’d kindly move along…” Maggie left the sentence hanging but makes sure to level her gaze at him so he wouldn’t take it as a sign of her feeling intimidated by him. He sneered down at her and tried unsuccessfully to brush her aside.

“Fuck off, she was just about to come home with me, weren’t you hot stuff?” Maggie glances behind her just in time to catch the girl roll her eyes at his question and take a long drink of her beer (the bartender still hadn’t refilled her shot glass).

“Yeah, only in your dreams.” Maggie gently reached behind her and placed a hand on the girl’s knee, she wasn’t sure how much of her couldn’t care less attitude was simply a front to make the guy leave her alone and she figured the comforting gesture might be appreciated.

“See? Now go find someone else to bother, fucking buzzkill.” The guy tried to move around her but Maggie stayed firmly in place between him and the girl (whose name she probably should figure out).

“And you’ve got one of the worst cases of selective hearing I’ve ever seen. Now why don’t you run back to your friends the lick your wounds and try hitting up a bar where the girls actually find your oppressive masculinity attractive and leave us all alone.” The guy scoffed and tried (for the third time) and failed to get her to move from between him and the other woman.

“You’re just jealous she’d rather go home with a real man like me instead of a midget like you. She knows I can fuck her real good, unlike you you little dyke, don’t you baby?” Maggie winced internally at the jib at her height, something she was still self conscious about even at the age of twenty two. She felt the woman behind her shift and somewhat tentatively run her fingers up her side, causing an unexpected shiver to run down Maggie’s spine.

“Oh no… She’s… Definitely the one I’m interested in.” He sputtered, finally hearing something she said for once. About time…

“Why the hell would you be into the tiny lesbo over me? Have you seen my abs?” He lifts his shirt to show off what to most might seem like an impressive six pack, Maggie rolled her eyes but decided she wasn’t going to stoop to his level trying to engage in some display of dominance. The other woman scoffed out loud and glancing behind her Maggie realized that apparently she didn’t have any issues showing the guy up, cause her shirt was tugged up to just below her breasts and was showing off her own six pack with a challenging gleam in her own eyes.

“You act like that’s supposed to impress me.” She dropped her shirt and Maggie none too discreetly wiped at the corners of her mouth to make sure she hadn’t started drooling. “Now I can think of a lot of reasons to pick her over you, starting with the fact I’m gay as fuck and she’s definitely a woman, you are a woman right? Like I’m assuming here based on appearances and that’s kinda transphobic and I really don’t care if you’re trans or not, I meant it’s cool if you are like I’m totally fine with that…”

“I’m a woman.” Maggie interjected before the other woman could get lost in a offtrack tangent.

“Okay, yeah… So there’s that. She’s also hot as hell which you definitely are not.” Maggie forced herself not to chuckle at the offended look on his face. “And you’re an asshole and I wouldn’t be interested even if I was into guys cause I have standards that you don’t even begin to meet. So if you’ll move along I’d really like to chat up my super hot savior now.” She made a shooing gesture and the guy finally left with a grumbled fucking dykes . Which left Maggie standing super close to the rather beautiful red head who was definitely giving her bedroom eyes like no baby gay should know how to do. “So… What’s your name?”

“Um… Maggie… My name’s Maggie…” The other woman smiled warmly down at her and held her hand out for her to shake.

“Alex. So what are you doing this evening? Besides saving young lesbians from straight men.” Maggie blushed slightly, turning her face away from Alex.

“You hardly needed saving. I mean… With the abs and the sassy comebacks and the abs…” Alex smiled at her, an amused glint in her eyes.

“You like the abs?” She wiggled her eyebrows as she slid Maggie’s hand under her shirt up her washboard abs. Maggie let out a quiet groan and bites her lip. Not to be outdone by a baby gay she quickly moves Alex’s hand over to her own stomach and slides it under her shirt and up her own abs.

“I can most certainly appreciate them.” She was pleased to note the other woman finally seemed a little flustered as she subconsciously ran her fingers along Maggie’s abs. “Now, what do you say we hit the dance floor and show that prick how us ‘lesbos’ do it?”

And they do, they get drunk and dance and make out in the corner like teens and when the bar finally closes at two she calls them an Uber and then continue to make out like idiots in the backstreet until they get back to Maggie’s apartment. And then they’re making out in the apartment (okay, say what you want about picking up baby gays but holy cow this one was a hell of a good kisser) and on her bed and damn you’d love to have her way with the woman moving above her but the voice in the back of her mind reminding her they are both very drunk wins and she finally pulls away.

“You’re drunk.” Alex moved down to start muzzling in her neck, nipping and sucking at the skin there.

“So are you.”

“We probably shouldn’t do this right now.”

“Probably not.”

“I’m going to get some water and aspirin for in the morning. If you feel like it we can carry on then.” Maggie offers getting up and heading into the adjacent bathroom.

“Oh trust me, as soon as I’m not either drunk or hungover I’m going to be all over you.” Maggie put the stuff from the bathroom on the nightstand and climbed under the covers, Alex following quickly behind her.

“I’m looking forward to it.” Maggie mumbled sleepily, Alex laughed.

“You should, I’m told I’m excellent in bed.” Alex winked at her and Maggie’s eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

“And who told you that?”

“Why the string of women I slept with in high school, I was quite the catch back then.” She winked again and Maggie’s eyes went wide.

“High school? How long ago was that?”

“About five years, why, jealous?” Maggie’s jaw dropped.

“I thought you were a baby gay!” Alex let out a full belly laugh at that comment.

“Nope, I’m definitely a seasoned gay at this point.”

“Oh boy, what did I get myself into?” Maggie mumbled as Alex began running her fingers languidly up and down her side.

“Oh darling, you have no idea.”