even after they left

3

“When Dorcas died, it was as if someone had placed a weight inside my chest. After Marlene it got even heavier. And after James and Lily… it left me hollow. People kept dropping like flies. Death had become my life.

[excerpt from the Trace of Mischiefs: The Story of the Marauders – coming back this autumn!]

Twenty-One Club

I miss you, like Amy Winehouse
With 
Valerie, only you don’t have ginger hair
Or rather you didn’t last time I saw

You were blonde as I recall, I was younger
Than I am now - still looking 
At things, I probably shouldn’t have over your body

Like Freddie Mercury, I had and have made mistakes
A few or more, and more again
Under pressure back, as I thought I was.

I’d invite you over to my house
But then I’d be making a fool out of myself
As I did before, getting with you at the start.

I tried and tried again after I left you,
Even leaned on one of your friends.
Tried again after that to no avail.

So now I’m back here again,
Thinking about the time you cut all of your hair,
Wishing to myself that I could never be there again.

So, there’s this relatively new member of our team who’s a gossip fanatic, she’s always around chatting everyone up and then reporting the juicest news and hot details she’s given, which is a demeanour our main client is pretty bothered by, therefore she always makes sure to shut up and behave around them.

Two coworkers of mine, me, the Big Boss and our client were arranging and planning a few things, when she burst into the room, not noticing the BB and the Client, who were at that moment having coffe behind the door and she went “ooooh, you know what they say about Louis Tomlinson not actually being the father of his child? Looks like it’s true after all, even though it’s been ages!”

We didn’t have time to gesture to her, that my client appeared from behind the door all frowny and straight faced “yeah, the same ages it took you to dig this oh-so-shocking information up, with that quick, sharp rate of yours you’ll have to start working on the next campaign tomorrow morning if I want it out before 2036″.

favorite things in the batim fandom right now

  • henry being A Dad
  • the toons’ (most notably bendy’s) widow’s peak thing functioning as eyebrows and shifting around with the toon’s expression
  • the unspoken agreement that bendy starts melting when under stress or severe negative emotions
  • bendy having Daddy Issues
  • henry being a tired man who has had it with someone’s shit and it’s probably bendy’s or joey’s
  • henry being entirely too calm about this entire fucky situation
  • boris the musician
  • bendy loving tap dancing
  • THE TOONS’ CURSING IS CENSORED WITH SYMBOLS IN WRITING AND SLAPSTICK NOISES WHEN VOICED
  • boris the sweetheart, boris the show’s antagonist, boris who went the way of bendy in the game and is a game antagonist, anything boris basically
  • boris’s favorite instrument being the clarinet
  • alice being a kickass dame who don’t take no shit
  • alice and bendy shippers being totally cool with those who ship them as buds
  • those who do ship them making it cutesy and innocent
  • those who don’t giving them sibling roles
  • boris and bendy as basically brothers
  • henry, alice, bendy, and boris sleep piles
  • henry, alice, bendy, and boris dysfunctional but loving family
  • bendy is a prankster
  • and you get an existential crisis and you get an existential crisis and YOU get an existential crisis but not the humans because they weren’t created
  • bendy especially having a hard time with the above
  • everyone having nightmares because trauma, thanks joey
  • plenty of ptsd to go around, thanks joey
  • henry was drafted into war and that’s why he left the studio
  • above also responsible for some of the ptsd he’s got but he’s managing okay and then thanks, joey
  • henry and joey had a fight which is why henry didn’t return afterwards
  • henry returning to the studio lowkey contemplating punching joey
  • joey bringing the toons to life before henry left; toons are good friends with henry
  • toons brought to life after henry left; henry has even less of a clue of what to expect when the game opens
  • joey brought bendy to life with an ulterior motive to begin with
  • joey brought bendy to life with benevolent intentions but devolved into a power hungry monster as time went on
  • joey brought bendy to life because henry is 85% of his impulse control, wasn’t there, and oh my god, i’m gonna make my oc real you guys
  • joey never considering the consequences to his actions no matter how many times someone has tried to get him to shape up
  • sammy being a crazy motherfucker
  • sammy, pre-ink-incident, being 10000% done with joey at all times
  • the entirety of the hell’s studio au
  • the entirety of the toon henry au
  • the entirety of the 2D bendy au
  • the entirety of the lampblack city au
  • the very little that current exists of the role reversal au; bendy escaped from the studio long ago, summoned back by joey, finds horrifying shit has gone down
  • ANIMATOR BENDY yes i know that’s technically hell’s studio but i’ve seen it elsewhere
  • THE SHEER AMOUNT OF TALENT FROM STORYTELLERS, WRITERS, ARTISTS, VOICE ACTORS, MUSIC MAKERS, AND MORE IN THIS FANDOM
  • i know i’m forgetting stuff feel free to add
She doesn’t like to be called babe because it’s sort of a lazy way of saying baby, she loved it when I called her by nicknames, babygirl, princess, tiger (because she wants to reincarnate into a tiger if she one day dies) beautiful, etc, she doesn’t like when others call her by her name, because she prefers “soph” but she loved it when I called her by her name and she sat there smiling at me for ages. Her favourite drinks are iced coffee, those frappe things from McDonald’s and rubicon (the mango one though) she loved coffee and I’ll never understand why. Shes insecure of her face and when You look at her too long she’ll cover it, she’s insecure of her body, though it’s perfect just the way it is to me, she’s insecure of her smile but I find it beautiful. No matter how many times I called her beautiful she didn’t once believe it because she believes she isn’t. No matter how many times I tried to prove to her she was beautiful she didn’t believe it. She’s insecure, she’s scared of being hurt, she’s scared of wasting time, she’s scared of putting her all into somebody to be left alone, her guard was up, even after I showed her the craziest amounts of love, because she’s afraid of letting people in and it’ll take her ages for her to be able to trust you and open up, the way she is stubborn drives me crazy because I want her to tell me what’s wrong but she won’t. She’s spend all night crying over me but has been happy for me the next day because whose wants to see a smile on my face, she will be emotional, she’ll cry, she’ll cry and lot, she won’t tell me she’s crying though because she’s scared to bring attention to herself. She gets jealous but only because she doesn’t want to see me with anybody else. She has days where all she wants to do is be alone and cry, there’s days she’ll have no motivation but all you need to do is try to be there for her regardless of how much she acts as though she doesn’t care because deep down she does and her pain is too much to explain so she’ll keep it in rather than tell me what’s wrong. She thinks she’s stupid and not intelligent (which I think and believe she is) and regardless of what i tell her she will never believe it, she always believes she isn’t enough but she is more than enough, I look at her and see my future, I look at her and it will physically hurts me because i know that she is worth much more yet she sticks around just for me, I think back to all the times I’ve hurt her and made her cry because of stupid arguments, I’ll look at her and my eyes will light up from the way her smile forms and the way her pupils dilate, the way she turns her head to the side so I won’t see her smiling or laughing. she never wants to see me upset, she may never say much but she knows, she wants to say things but her shyness takes over, she wants to be here for me but she will have no idea what to say, she will try her damn right hardest to be there for me and even though i don’t realise how much effort she puts in she will still carry on doing so. Even though I don’t thank her enough for making you happy she will still carry on doing so because she wants me to be happy. She never really speaks about what’s on her mind until i physically beg her to, she hates to talk of her past and her future and if I’m lucky she’ll tell me a story or two about her past, I need to pay attention because she hates to repeat herself, i need to reply to her like I’m interested or she’ll think i don’t care. She hates to talk of her future because it’s “depressing” because she doesn’t believe in herself but now is the part where i should interfere and motivate her to believe that everything she wants will be hers as long as she tries. She hates it when i give her “positivity rants” on the phone because it makes her overthink. She hates feeling like I’m not paying attention to her. She hates when I don’t realise everything you do for her. She hates feeling depressed and alone so i much bring as much happiness to her as possible, she hates knowing that I’m not okay. she loves sci-fi movies and that’s another thing I’ll never understand why she loves but when we’re married I’ll sit with her through 3 hour sci-fi movies because it’ll put a smile on her face and I’d do anything for that, She loves to mess and play with her hair, she is so downright passionate about photography and she loves relating to somebody, she loves when I know things about her, she loves having deep meaningful conversations, she sometimes stays up until stupid o clock to check up on me and to see if I’m okay or just to speak to me because she craves me and the feelings I give her. She stays up some nights doing things for me which I would never expect and some nights she will cry herself to sleep because I upset her or because im not okay. She loves to play fight and she loves it when I look into her eyes and she loves it when I lay in bed with her and just talk absolute shit. She loves long walks and pleasing sights, she loves going to pretty places, she loves the nights and one day she would love to travel the world with the love of her life, even though she’s never been an an airplane before but it’s fine because neither have I. she would love a long car journey to wherever as long as it’s with somebody she loves, she loves old music and she loves to make you happy. She loves wearing casual clothes and rarely ever wants to look “feminine” but I love it because its her character and who she is and she will never change that. She will make me happy even if I’m not making her happy because she loves me and will do anything to see a smile on my face. She doesn’t like going to busy places like concerts or crowds etc, she loves dogs and practically develops bonds with them, she dislikes her dog because she’s ‘boring’ but she still loves her and sees her as a sister, because she’s grown up with her. She is sometimes so full of life and so happy that its literally contagious, her smile makes me smile and her laugh is honestly the best sound ever, I see my future every time I look deeply into her eyes and i realise that she is worth so much more than me yet she sticks around, once she loved me she has not once stopped, ever since that day 3 years ago. Sometimes she will act heartless but only because she wants me to show her that I care, sometimes she’ll cry and not tell me because she wants me to figure it out. She doesn’t like to be around many people, she doesn’t want to go to college because she hates the whole school vibe but I respect her for that because going straight for a apprenticeship takes guts, she doesn’t have many friends and although people think they know her, I can assure you they don’t, she will make you feel as though you know her but you really don’t, even I don’t know/understand her to the full extent, because she doesn’t really let anybody in unless she really wants to tell them something, she doesn’t really open up to anybody, she may talk a lot on the phone sometimes but in real life it is the complete opposite because she will become shy. She loves her dads car because of it’s blacked out windows so people can’t see her. I’d describe her as mysterious and as every single day which goes on I carry on learning more about her. She is the book I’ve opened and I will carry on reading her till I am finished reading her which will be never because she is an endless story. She loves it when I hype her up when she looks beautiful when I replay, screenshot and reply with endless emojis because her beauty takes away my breath. Sometimes she’ll have an attitude because she’s upset about something and she wants me to figure it out. But her attitude is nothing to fuck with at all because she can talkkkkk I assure you, she will fight her opinion onto you and she will make her point, but she won’t say a word in person, regardless of the arguments and regardless of the heartlessness she will love me entirely and will carry on doing so and I will never question that. Her heart is made of gold and she will always want what is best for me. I’d keep on going because this isn’t everything about her, if I could, but quite honestly I’d be going on for hours, I could never lie, me and her have made the most happiest and craziest memories together, and I could never doubt that. If forever does not last for me and her and you’re the next person who falls in love with her, take this all in and realise what you’re getting yourself into. Treat her well because she is honestly a queen, you’ll learn to love her, but let me assure you something, you will never love her half as much as I do. But for now and hopefully till forever, she is mine and I will carry on loving her till the day I die.
—  dedicated to my wife.
2

Saturn

You taught me the courage of stars before you left.
How light carries on endlessly, even after death.
With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite.
How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.

- “Saturn” by Sleeping At Last

“He promised!”, the younger man cried. A heartwrecking, choked sound. “He promised he’d come back!”

Tears seeped through the fabric of Ryou’s shirt and slender fingers dug into his back with a force he’d never thought Keith possessed. There was nothing he could do. Nothing he could say. No support he could’ve offered. He could only wrap his own arms around the smaller figure and hold him.

It had been two months. Two months since Keith fled the constricting walls of the Galaxy Garrison and vanished into the cold desert night. Two months and twenty-two days since Iverson’s spokesman announced the Kerberos mission was a failure. Two months and twenty-nine days since the comms of his brother’s ship went dead.

Noone knew where Keith went that night, except for Ryou. There was only one place in the world Keith would seek out for shelter. It was the only place Takashi had never shared with his twin. Because it was their place. Their shelter. Keith and Shiro. Only them. And Ryou had respected that, content with the fact that his brother had finally found love, even if Takashi himself hadn’t known that back then.

Now that Takashi was gone, he couldn’t help but venture out into the desert more and more often. He felt adrift and numb, left in a state of levitation before reality would finally come crashing in. Always looking for that special place that held so many memories of his brother. The shack.

Packed with supplies - food, water, wool blankets, lamp oil, a notable stock of lighters and all the little things Keith may or may not need by now - Ryou had steered his black hoverbike away from the Garrison this morning and straight into the unforgiving heat of the desert. Always looking for that one spot on the map that still held some of his brother’s very soul. That one damned spot that Ryou knew he should never seek out. For it held the only tangible evidence of his brother’s death. His absence at Keith’s side. And he knew this would break him.

When he finally found the shack, he knew Keith was there before he even saw him in person. The red hoverbike, parked right infront of the small porch, gave him away. Its black twin’s engine purred and finally went silent under Ryou. Before Kerberos, before everything went down the drain, the red bike had belonged to Takashi. A gift, Ryou had made for him. He still remembered the face Taka made when he’d seen his birthday present. Now that day seemed eons away… Surreal and alien like memories of a life that belonged to somebody else.

Keith opened the front door before Ryou could even make it to the porch. And for one moment it seemed like the world had come to a halt, remembering that there was something missing, before it started turning again with cold, regardless indifference. Feigning ignorance towards two now incomplete and broken beings. The universe had greater things to take care of.

Seeing Ryou - the spitting image of his lost brother - must’ve been the last straw. Keith hadn’t cried. Not when Ryou had called him after the ship went silent, not when the announcement came that all crew members were believed to be dead. Not even when he had left the base. He had punched people. He had seethed with rage and he had broken things, but never cried. Now however…

“He promised!”, the younger man cried. A heartwrecking, choked sound. “He promised he’d come back!”

Now, after three months, shock and numbness, disbelief and repression finally faded… Keith cried.

And it broke Ryou…

___

So…. uh… this… this got out of hand? All I wanted was to express my headcanon that Ryou and Keith knew eachother from their time at the Garrison and that Ryou visited Keith after he got expelled. And that they both mourn Shiro together. But somehow I ended up writing way more than I had planned. xD Oh well…

The new trailer for s3 kinda left me adrift because WHAT THE FUCK. Why they keep doing this to me with every new season?! Where’s Shiro? Why’s he not in the trailer?! Why can’t we just… have him back and be save for once? Not knowing if my poor baby survives every new damn season has me stressing like fuck! So I felt like drawing Keith coping with losing Shiro. And then I ended up drawing this and feeling bad for poor Keith! Now I feel like I want to cry my eyes out…

The Watcher

You taught me the courage of stars before you left.
How light carries on endlessly, even after death.
With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite.
How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.


- “Saturn” by Sleeping at Last


Can we all please take a moment to appreciate how awesome “The Watcher” by stickylips is?? I’ve read this fic in one go and it was so inspiring and sad and beautiful at the same time… I still have no idea how to deal with this. That whole worldbuilding that happened here is just so stunning.

Also: I finally, FINALLY found a fic with the right amount of angst, tragic shit, supernatural stuff, smut and fluff all in one! Agh! This made my world whole and cured my depressions. ♥

Mothers’ Weekend

Hello there! Long time, no see (my bad I know) but, here: an Alicia Zimmermann-centric piece as she goes to Parents’ Weekend during Jack’s freshmen year. [focus on Alicia, Jack, and Shitty] 6k


Somewhere, deep in her heart, Alicia Zimmermann knows she is a bad mother.

It started out as a worry, as maybe it does for all new mothers, that she will be a bad mother. That she won’t know what to do with a baby or a toddler that one day she will accidentally drop him or forget to feed him or feed him something he is actually allergic to or maybe she’ll scar him emotionally somehow and she worried but she survived his childhood okay. And then, after he was five or six, she stopped worrying about it. She thought she was doing pretty good. Jack had hockey and loved hockey and, sure, they didn’t have deep emotional talks but she didn’t exactly have any basis of comparison. Television families told her she was doing okay. No teenage boy wanted to have deep talks with his mother. And, look, if Jack didn’t talk to her all that much as he turned 12 and then 13, at least he was still talking to his father. Mostly still about hockey but she… she thought that had counted. Hockey was like French, to her. Another language she could understand but couldn’t quite speak. But Bob could. He was on top of it. Jack was taken care of.

She loved Jack. That was never the problem. The problem was that her love wasn’t enough. It didn’t matter. It didn’t alert her to any of the facts and maybe it even blinded her– She loved her son and her son loved hockey and so she loved hockey too. She loved her son and then her son seemed to love a boy named Kent and they never talked about it but she let Kent come over all the time and she figured they would discuss it at some point. She just… assumed everything was okay. Even after he was diagnosed with the anxiety disorder and given pills. It was always… well, that was a little problem but it’s handled and under control and everything is okay now.

See. Bad mother.

A good mother would have known somehow.

A good mother would have pushed and prodded or sensed it without even having to be told.

A good mother would have paid attention to how hard Jack was on himself. A good mother would have made sure her son had interests outside of hockey. A good mother would have known that Jack’s long silences after losses weren’t normal. A good mother would have preached balance and fostered friendships with different types of people and stopped the fucking hockey.

She didn’t though. Stop the hockey. No, not Alicia Zimmermann. She encouraged it. She went to the games and cheered the loudest and she even loved it a little bit because she thought it brought him joy, like his father. She bought into the vision: Jack playing hockey like Bob, the Zimmermann legacy continued throughout the ages…

God, she even used to tease Jack about how it took his father three years to win a Cup and she was sure Jack could manage it faster than his old man.

A good mother wouldn’t have done that. So, see, she’s always been a bad mother. Even now, now that she’s almost lost him, now that she’s promised to do better, now that she’s finally read all the books and online articles about anxiety and pressure and the danger of sports and hockey culture… now she’s still just as bad. Just for different reasons.

Now she is a bad mother because it’s Saturday afternoon and he’s been at Samwell for almost three months and she does not feel like mothers are supposed to feel in this moment.

She glances around. At the sea of other mothers and fathers crammed onto Samwell’s campus for Parents’ Weekend. They are not nervous. They are excited. Happy. Enthusiastic. Overjoyed to see the teenager they had left just a couple months ago again. To her right is a father almost (but not quite) breaking into a run to give his son a hug. To her left, a mother has burst into tears. Happy tears.

And then there’s her. She’s not excited to see Jack. Well, no. No, it’s not that she’s not excited. She is. She is. (She is. She repeats it once more just to remind herself). She is just…

She is nervous too. More nervous than she is excited.

Keep reading

givenchy & gold, part i (m.)

;pairing — jungkook/reader

;warnings — sex | implied exhibitionism | mild dom/sub tones | if u’ve got a praise kink then ur gonna love this | mentions of daddy kinks | instances of spanking 

;summary — you’re the supervisor of the clothing department with a lot of useless lingerie knowledge, jungkook is the jewelry department’s defiant hot boy who flirts in wristwatch brands. basically an upscale retail au, but with lots of implied under-the-counter sex. and when an opportunity presents itself to fuck each other in the boss’s office after hours, you’re both too hot for each other to say no.

;word count — 20k im so sorry

part i | part ii | drabbles

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It (non-spoiler) Pros & Cons

***PROS***

- The effects are top notch.  There wasn’t one scene where I thought “……well that was a choice.”

- All of these kids are ACTING.  Where did they get these children?  I want to see everything all of them have ever been in, especially the chunky one and the girl.

- The shitty parts of the story were cut (book readers know what I’m talmbout)

- Splendidly paced.  I didn’t even realize the film was so long until after I’d left.

***CONS***

- A little disappointed in the reliance on jump scares.  I expected a little more tone and unease throughout.

- I have literally never cared about this story, and I always forget I don’t care about it until I try to read or watch it again.  If you’ve ever watched or tried to watch (or tried to read) It in the past, this probably won’t change your mind, so save your coin for Netflix.

- I’m serious.  I hate the plot so much and halfway through the movie I was still like “I just don’t care.  I’m only sitting here for the performances.”

Crazy the difference makeup and 12 years in Azkaban can make, huh? ;) My makeup on the left was done by the amazing @aegiskitty ; I did the Sirius cosplay makeup on the right. I’m actually more familiar with fx makeup than the regular stuff, so I definitely needed some pointers. Pointer one: we nixed the beard on the left.

6

Tom is your Tom problem.

Let Me Show You Why

Thank you @joeynihil for letting me use the Cody gif :D

Summery: Brett goes out of his way to make you blush or shy but he goes too far.

Warnings: sex, 18+ gif under cut


“Brett’s coming?” You asked when your friend finished listing off the people she’d invited.

“It’s a party to celebrate the team winning all their games so far… why wouldn’t I invite Brett?” She asked, glancing at you in the mirror as she put her makeup on, frowning when she looked over the jeans and t-shirt you were wearing.

“Well… because he’s kind of a jerk.” You mumbled, playing with your fingers as you scuffed your feet on the foot of her bed.

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If you think Harry did something wrong when he suggested a break you should unfollow me.

None of them are obligated to stay in that band forever. He didn’t just fuck off the minute he knew he wanted a break. He talked to them about it and then stayed until they had fulfilled their contracts (even after Zayn left) and was fully committed till the end. Gave his all on stage every night, refused to talk hiatus plans and turned the conversation back to their album during the last promo run, and has continued to be very appreciative towards everything they did and achieved together.

Even if you miss 1d you can’t say he did something wrong.

3

Don’t worry. No one’s going under the ship today. Though, the thought had crossed my mind. No, I’m quite certain I can do better than that.

Erik Klose and the Twinyards

I’ve been thinking about this and (this is so long, gosh):

  • Erik doesn’t like the twins
  • at all
  • and he hates that because he knows Nicky loves them both to death, and he wants to support him and that tiny speck of family he has left but
  • indeed
  • he loves Nicky
  • and it’s hard, you know?

Keep reading