You know, I’ll readily admit that so far, the Marvel Cinematic Universe as a whole has had consistently better film output than the current DC Extended Universe.
But on the other hand:
DC didn’t make Superman secretly a member of the Klan during a surge of racist and xenophobic rhetoric and politics in the US
DC also didn’t make their Jewish characters like Harley Quinn or Batwoman into pseudo-Nazis while the US is under a blatantly anti-Semitic political administration
DC also didn’t ask comic shop employees to wear T-shirts with pseudo-Nazi logos or to cover their store logos with pseudo-Nazi symbols
DC also, in my knowledge, never blamed slumping sales on being too diverse in their lineup
Which isn’t to say they haven’t had their share of tone-deaf and flat-out insulting gaffes, but when New 52 didn’t do as well as they expected I know they didn’t blame it on having a Green Lantern and a Batman who were Muslim
Marvel Studios has yet to release a solo superhero film starring a woman (Elektra is a Fox film). DC’s had two female-led cinematic releases (three if you consider Evey to be the main character of V for Vendetta), those being Supergirl and Catwoman. And yes, Supergirl and Catwoman were terrible, but at least they exist. An attempt was made
The current DC Extended Universe will also give us Wonder Woman before the MCU gives us Captain Marvel
If the current planned lineup for the DC Extended Universe holds, then their first five solo film leads will probably be two white men (Man of Steel’s Henry Cavill and presumably whoever plays Captain Marvel in Shazam!), a Jewish woman (Wonder Woman, Gal Gadot), a Native Hawaiian man (Aquaman, Jason Momoa), and a black man (Cyborg, Ray Fisher). The first solo film in the MCU with a lead who isn’t a white man will be Black Panther, their thirteenth solo film.
While Marvel was making Captain America and Magneto into HYDRA agents, DC made Snagglepuss into a gay Southern Gothic playwright because why not
While DC has its own fair share of fuckery, bad decisions, pointless, flow-wrecking crossovers, and other such garbage, at least they haven’t blown so many dog whistles at the alt-right in the past year that it’s very hard to consider it tone-deafness or coincidence at this point
So in conclusion, as we currently stand, DC’s on Marvel’s left.
A Definitely Incomplete List Of My Favorite Moments From The Lightning Thief (book), because I'm having Feelings
Percy very causally mentioning times he accidentally hit a school bus with a canon or dropped fifth graders into shark-infested water
Just everything he’s ever done
Percy running an illegal candy ring out of his dorm room
“I was worried they found out I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the internet and were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.”
When Percy thought Grover was going to give him some deep, meaningful commentary on life to make him feel better but Grover just wanted Percy’s lunch
Percy tried so hard to do well on his Latin final and Chiron somehow thinks it’s a good idea to tell him he’s ‘not normal’ in front of the class my poor boy
That one part where Percy essentially went “Oh hey mom’s home!!! Better reschedule this panic attack I was having!!”
When Percy did that weird hand sign (that was never explained) and the door slammed on Gabe so hard he flew up the steps
The fact that when Grover finally tracked Percy down he wasn’t wearing any pants. Like, there was literally no reason for him to not have the fake feet and the jeans on. No actual reason for him to be free balling it. Percy just needed a shock apparently. Showing up in the middle of a hurricane with no pants, dramatic ass satyr I love him.
The SATISFYING DEATH of Gabe’s Camaro + Sally apparently learned bullfighting just in case because she truly is the best mom
Percy killing the minotaur with its own horn
Percy dragging Grover over the camp line while crying for his mom literally end me
“You drool when you sleep.” could we get more iconic here
Percy teasing Annabeth about her crush on Luke
When Luke stole some toiletries for Percy and he got a little choked up because it was apparently the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him
The fact that Chiron basically told Annabeth that Percy was her destiny
The fact that a recovering alcoholic god of wine who hates children was deemed fit to run a camp for children
Not so fun: Percy, upon meeting Mr. D, immediately recognizing the signs of an alcoholic and going out of his way to sit far away from him ‘just in case’
The fact that everyone just expected him to hear ‘the greek gods are real’ and move on?? why would no one let this boy be in shock omg
Zeus apparently had a thing for the fluffy 80′s hairstyles
“the real world is where the monsters are”
The fact that Poseidon could have claimed Percy at literally any moment but he apparently decided he really needed that dramatic reveal during capture the flag.
When Zeus was feeling Extra Dramatic™ after Percy’s claiming so he started making it rain inside the camp boarders and everyone was lowkey freaking out
When Annabeth pulls off her invisible cap and declares she’s going on the quest with him and Percy was like, beyond unsurprised that she was there and didn’t even attempt to fight her
Chiron forgot to give Percy a sword from his father for like, an entire month.
Grover with those freaking flying shoes oh my God
Annabeth blushing literally any time Luke talks to her
IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE AND RESPECT ARGUS, HEAD OF CAMP SECURITY
lmao when Percy and Annabeth start bickering about something and Argus just winks at Percy because he knows
When they were playing hackey sack with an apple but it got too close to Grover’s mouth and he just ate the whole thing
The entire bus scene oh my God
“I was about to become the ADHD Poster Child of the Year” as he’s CRASHING A BUS
Annabeth on a fury’s back
the explosion. just. all gr8.
When Grover tries to play a path finder song and Percy just immediately slams into a tree. Also the fact that the path finder song was actually just a Hillary Duff number.
“You two are giving me a migraine, and satyr’s don’t even get migraines!”
Percy actually, truly trying to sell the story that the three of them are circus orphans who got separated from their ringleader
Grover: hey guys this place is REALLY SHADY and we need to leave
Annabeth and Percy: but f o o d
Can you imagine walking into a store and finding your dead uncle’s body on display? Like????
When Medusa revealed herself and Annabeth’s running around invisible, Percy’s swinging a sword blindly and Grover’s flying around screaming and trying to whack her with a stick: everyone here is a MESS
When Annabeth was overly annoyed with Percy after that ordeal??? Sweetheart you fell for the trick too
Name something more iconic than 12 year old Percy Jackson mailing the decapitated head of Medusa to the gods on Mt. Olympus in an act of sheer pettiness. I dare you.
When Percy was insisting on taking first watch while the others slept and Grover was basically like “hey kiddo listen to this” and played a song that immediately knocked him out so he could sleep all night
“Percy. Say hello to the poodle.”
Percy seeing all the Greek creatures from the train window
When Annabeth was dragging the boys to the St. Louis Arch and Percy’s claustrophobic ass Did Not Want To Get In That Tiny Elevator but he went anyway because he wanted Annabeth to be happy. That boy has had it bad since the start.
“I am Echidna!”
“Isn’t…isn’t that a type of anteater?”
“I HATE AUSTRALIA.”
How many times has Percy actually been poisoned throughout all the series I literally want a count
‘Lemme just, uh….jump off the fucking St. Louis Arch and hope I don’t die when I hit the water.’
There is just something very aesthetic about Percy lighting a fire in the bottom of a river
Percy’s got so much pent-up rage that he’s just immediately ready to wreck Ares upon meeting him omfg
THE THRILL RIDE O’ LOVE
Annabeth getting so worked up and flustered over going down there with Percy because it’s a love ride and Percy’s just like “you literally do not have to make this a Thing” lmao
Annabeth wouldn’t let Percy touch Aphrodite’s scarf because she didn’t want him getting infected by love magic but then…touched it herself lol
The entire sequence with the mechanical spiders and the cameras and the ride itself
Percy’s plan to get off the ride!!!! He’s so smart okay can people stop calling him stupid!!!
Grover trying to catch them both in mid-air but they‘re too heavy so the three of them just kind of slowly crash into one of those face-cut-out posters lol
Percy, turning to the camera’s broadcasting this shit on Olympus: “Show’s over! Thank You! Goodnight!”
THE FUCKING ZOO BUS
Everything about that scene omg. The animals they had to help. Trying to convince Grover of how great he is. The baby percabeth. my h e a r t
“What if it does line up like the Trojan War? Athena versus Poseidon?”
“I don’t know what my mom will do. I just know I’ll be fighting next to you.”
“Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain, any more stupid questions?”
Do you hear that sound? That’s me, ages 13-21(+) sobbing uncontrollably oh my God I love them so much
‘let’s just set a fucking lion loose in Las Vegas’
“I put a Blessing of the Wild on them, so they’ll safely find food and shelter wherever they go.”
“Why can’t you put on of those on us?”
“It only works on wild animals.”
“So it would only effect Percy…”
When they get to the Lotus hotel and Grover starts playing that game where the deer shoot the hunters azxjhnhdjx
Percy physically having to drag his friends out of there once he realized it was the lair of the lotus eaters
When Annabeth gave the taxi driver her lotus credit card and he started calling her “Your Highness” lmao
Every time in this book Percy comes close to uncovering a Dark Truth the people around him are just like “let’s not worry about that :) “ and my polite boy actually shuts up it’s so wild because I would just keep going lol
CRUSTY THE WATER BED SALESMAN
Listen that entire scene has lowkey always been one of my Favs and I’m not even sure why but Percy chopping his head off was g r e a t
The entrance to the Underworld is DOA Recording Studios and I love it
“We, uh…all drowned in a bathtub.”
Poor Charon just wants his Italian suits he doesn’t need all this bullshit
Grover almost getting dragged into Tartarus: not good. very bad. bad shit.
Annabeth getting emotionally attached to Cerberus in the span of 3 minutes: RELATABLE
‘huh my backpack that I thought I got rid of five days ago is getting weirdly heavy, that’s not suspicious though, right?’
When Hades just starts monologue-ing about all the shit he has to put up with
“what kind of awful things do you have to do to get sewn into Hades underwear?” p e r c y
when Percy realizes the Master Bolt is in his backpack and he’s just like. tell me why. why. I’m a good person. what did I DO.
When Percy has to sacrifice his mom to get Annabeth and Grover out of there I Cri Evey Tiem
My cute lil’ baby yelling around on a beach to get Ares to show up
ahdbsjznx when Grover gives Percy a crushed, half eaten tin can for good like and Percy is just like “Grover…I don’t know what to say.” I LOVE HIM
My sweet son kicking the god of war’s ass. bless. blessed on this day.
The news crews who suddenly started backtracking and writing Percy as a hero
Percy, choking back tears, giving Gabe’s store’s phone number out on national television and promising everyone free appliances IM STILL CACKLING I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH HE’S ICONIC
Hades actually releasing Sally because he’s Not As Big Of A Dick As He Could Have Been
Percy: hey I think there’s a really good chance that Kronos was behind this whole mess-
Zeus and Poseidon: XXX KRONOS DO NOT INTERACT XXX
Poseidon rolling his eyes at literally everything Zeus says and does
Poseidon and Percy’s whole talk omg my sweet boy just wants his dad to love him and Poseidon’s trying to figure out how to show affection when he basically signed this kid’s death sentence I’m crying
A man will never satisfy me as much or in the same way as Sally Jackson murdering Gabe Ugliano did
Percy was spending months of summer stressing over who the friend that’s supposed to betray him was but like…Sweetie you had exactly three (3) friends and you knew two of them weren’t gonna hurt you
ahbdjsnx when Percy and Luke were having their conversation in the woods and like Luke’s acting shady af the whole time but it’s literally not until he litters that Percy is like “something…is Wrong.” this boy I s2g
Percy getting bit by a scorpion is Not A Favorite Moment but the nymphs helping him out was
Percy making his Official Decision to go home for the school year only after Annabeth reveals that he actually did talk her into trying again with her family
I didn’t mean to write out a summary of the whole damn book it’s six am listen I’m just feeling nostalgia for the original series in this chili’s tonight