evans uk

anonymous asked:

Jily AU: Your photos keep showing up on my iPhone, and the internet helped me track you down. Now we’re kind of celebrities, and also I think you’re hot. (Inspired by "I Followed My Stolen iPhone Across The World, Became A Celebrity In China, And Found A Friend For Life" on Buzzfeed)

The article can be found here. I recommend it. It’s a wild ride. Some liberties were taken with the prompt. 

Because James is a fucking idiot, his phone gets stolen.

He knows he’s a rowdy drunk and he knows the three word mantra any university student needs when they go out (‘phone-cash-keys’) but Sirius has bet that he can take more Jägerbombs than James and he’s never been able to back down from a challenge. He doesn’t even think twice about whether his phone is in the pocket of his jeans or his coat, the latter of which he leaves at the table. He swears Peter is sitting there when he leaves, but when he comes back ten minutes later and a whole lot dizzier, the table is empty, coat and all.

He and Sirius find Peter later, crouched over a toilet and heaving with Remus patting his back. James has the decency to wait until his friend is done vomiting to ask, “Pete, d’you have my phone?”

If possible, Peter gets greener. “Sorry,” is all he gets out before shaking his head and clutching his stomach.

Peter ends up feeling worse about the whole thing than James does. James is upset to have lost all his pictures and apps, and he’s livid at the wanker who decided to grab his phone, but ultimately, he can afford a new phone and he can take new pictures, so in a few months he’ll likely get over it. But Peter insists that because James left his phone with him, it’s Peter who owes him a new one.

James attempts to refuse. Peter doesn’t have the kind of money to replace his phone, and James isn’t about to put that on him.

“My friend Dung knows how to get an iPhone for dirt cheap,” Peter claims, and reluctantly, James agrees.

And so it begins.

Keep reading

  • Lily: Ah well, you shouldn't be eating bacon anyway, should you - you're Jewish.
  • Remus: Yeah, I gave up on the whole orthodoxy thing when I started turning into a wolf.
  • Lily: Do they have rules about being a werewolf as well?
  • Remus: I think you'd be hard pressed to find a religion that doesn't frown on it.
Best-written lyrics from “The Peace and The Panic” by Neck Deep

Motion Sickness: Between the peace and the panic I can’t break up that static, I need a cleaner frequency

Happy Judgement Day: Cigarettes and MDMA don’t give you substance

The Grand Delusion: This dissonance blurs the lines and fucks with my symmetry; I’m one twisted butterfly

Parachute: We don’t need a God to take a leap of faith

In Bloom: Stop digging it up, or we’re never gonna see it all in bloom

Don’t Wait (feat. Sam Carter): Trying to define the human mind, it’s like puppetry, and they’ve got you by your strings

Critical Mistake: I could be everything you need if you could learn to be someone else

Wish You Were Here: They say you’re in a better place, but a better place is right here with me

Heavy Lies: Things aren’t always as they seem, you prove this to me, forget the theory

19 Seventy Sumthin’: Like the seed that becomes the tree we take shape of a family, we grow, and we change, and felt the rain like you wouldn’t believe

Where Do We Go When We Go: Pain, pain go away,come back another day