evan's drunk

9

Sorry it’s kind blurry, but all the grey texts are @credence-needs-a-hug go follow her and she’s writing what happens after they stop texting *this is the start of a series*

Imagine admitting you want to marry Chris while you’re drunk.

You tumbled out of the cab and stumbled up the driveway of your boyfriend, Chris’ house. It was 2:18AM and you had just finished up at your co-worker’s bachelorette’s party, a party where you got ridiculously wasted. The original plan was for you to spend the night at your own apartment- as it was closer to the bar you were at- but after the third round of tequila shots, your urge to see the ever-so-handsome Captain America had you arriving at his doorstep instead.

You pulled out your keys and fumbled with the lock for a while before you finally opened the door. The noise drew the attention of Dodger who was now on alert and ready to pounce on the intruder. He barked once then stopped when he saw that it was you, he padded towards you and nudged his head into your hand when you reached down to pat him. You struggled to get your heels off and winced when your keys and box clutch clashed against the hardwood floor.

“Shhhh!” You told Dodger and pressed your finger to your lips, trying not to giggle. “The fossil is asleep upstairs, we can’t afford to wake him up.” Dodger tilted his head in confusion. “I could use some Fruit Loops.” You said to no one in particular and made your way to the kitchen. “Dodger, do-” You glanced back and realized the pup had made his way upstairs. “I’ll take that as a no.”

Chris was aroused from his sleep thanks to the noises you were making downstairs. He turned on his bedside lamp and glanced at the clock, wincing at the bright light; 2:23AM. He could hear Dodger scratching at his door but it was only when he heard a loud crash that he scrambled out of bed. He opened the door and Dodger barked at him before racing downstairs. Chris followed him and caught sight of your keys, heels, and clutch making a trail towards the kitchen; the only room with some of its lights on. He entered to find you trying to pick up the broken pieces of your favorite Captain America drinking glass.

“Dodger, stay.” Chris instructed him when he saw him start towards you; you looked up at them, eyes wide like a deer in the headlines. “Don’t move, Y/N.” Chris instructed you but you moved anyway. “Y/N, just- stay.” He spoke to you like he would to Dodger and you stilled. “What are you even doing here? I thought you said you were going home.”

“I thought you said this is my home.”

“I see you had a great time at Carly’s party.” He commented with a light chuckle and you nodded with a wide grin. “Hold up.” He said and reached for the light switch and turned on all the lights in the kitchen so he could have a better view of where not to step. “C'mere.”

“But you told me not to move,” you pouted like a child.

“God, you’re wasted.” He chuckled; he could smell the alcohol on you as he scooped you up off the ground. “Okay, lemme see.” He sat you down on the kitchen bench and took your hands in his so he could examined them for cuts. “Did you cut yourself?” He asked when he couldn’t find any. “Hey,” he cupped your face in his hands, “are you hurt?”

“I missed you tonight.” You told him and wrapped your arms around his neck; he chuckled softly and hugged you back, kissing the side of your head. “I wish you could’ve been there with me, it would have been a lot more fun.”

“I wish I could’ve been there with you too.” He agreed and pulled back, brushing your hair out of your face. “So I could’ve kept an eye on you and made sure you didn’t get totally hammered,” he chuckled. “I’m honestly surprised you found your way back here.”

“I can always find my way back to you, Cap.” You smiled and poked his cheek, drawing another chuckle from him. He always found drunk you incredibly amusing; it wasn’t a side he saw often as you weren’t one of those girls who partied all the time, but let’s just say that when he did- he made sure to enjoy every second of it. “I want some Fruit Loops, do you have any?” You tried to hop off the bench but he used his body to lock you into place. “What are you doing? I want Fruit Loops.”

“The last thing you need is sugar,” he said then chuckled when you pouted adorably. “Right now, you need Advil, lots of water, and- sleep. Stay up here, okay? I don’t need you cutting yourself.” You scrunched your nose and nodded. “I’m going to sweep up this mess first.”

He left you there and walked to the broom closet to grab the broom and dustpan. “Hey Chris?” He heard you call out to him from the kitchen. “Can I have my water in that glass I like?” You asked as he walked back in. “You know, that Captain America glass from Stan Lee’s team.”

“Yeah um-” He chuckled and lowered his gaze onto the said glass that was shattered on the ground. “I don’t think you can ever drink water from that glass again. Considering you broke said glass,” he reminded you and your face fell. “Exactly how much did you drink?” He squatted on the ground and swept up the glass that was fortunately empty when you dropped it.

“Lots,” you responded simply and he chuckled with a shake of his head. “Hey, where’s my phone?”

“You left it in the hallway,” he answered and you hopped off the counter. “Uh uh-” he held up a finger at you and you climbed back on the counter. “I’ll get it for you, just stay there please. You are in no state to be maneuvering around, I don’t need you to break anything else tonight.”

“What did I break?” You asked, completely forgetting about the glass you’d dropped earlier tonight.

“You are ridiculous,” he chuckled. “Just stay there.” He dumped the swept up shards into the bin then walked out into the hallway to get your clutch. He picked it up off the ground then fished out your phone and saw a text notification from your best friend, Luca, that was addressed to him.

“Hey, Chris.
Did she make it to yours okay?”

Chris responded with a quick “yeah, I’ve got her.” With your phone in his hand, he placed your clutch on the table then made his way back into the kitchen. “What are you doing?” He stood in the archway and chuckled at you; you had stripped off your red dress and was now sitting on the bench top in just your bra and panties. “Aren’t you just a sight for sore eyes?” He teased you as he walked over.

“Just out of curiosity.” You wrapped your arms around his neck as he pushed himself in between your legs and placing your phone down on the counter and his hands on your waist. “Are you going to marry me?” Your question surprised him, but made him smile nonetheless; your drunk mind was speaking for your sober heart.

“Are you going to remember this in the morning?” He asked and you thought about it for a while then nodded your head. “Yeah, I don’t think so.” He chuckled softly, rubbing small circles into your skin. “Well, since you won’t remember this- I might as well be honest with you.” You raised your eyebrows, waiting for his answer. “I am definitely going to marry you. I’ve been thinking about it since our first date, I’ve just- been waiting for the right time to ask. We’re both busy people, I want the proposal and the wedding at a time that works for the both of us.”

“Have you thought about how you’re going to propose?”

“I have,” he nodded, “numerous times. My favorite is still the cliché of taking you to a holiday cabin, cooking you dinner, and putting the ring in your dessert. I’m just a little afraid you might swallow the ring whole,” he joked and poked your side, causing you to giggle. “Why so curious? Are you afraid I wasn’t going to marry you?”

“Well- if I’m being completely honest, I guess I was a little afraid you didn’t want to marry me because I wasn’t sure about having kids.” His face fell slightly; he was a little upset with himself that he made you feel that way. “I know you like children and that they are an important part of your life plan, so yeah- I was a little afraid I wasn’t enough.”

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way,” he kissed your forehead. “You are enough, Y/N. You have no idea how much you mean to me,” he told you. “All I want is you, you are the most important part of my life plan.”

“And you’re the most important part of mine, which is why I’d gladly have children for you.” You told him for the first time in three years and he felt his heart skip a beat. “I tell people I don’t want kids because it seems scary, but with you- it doesn’t seem as scary.”

“This is by far my favorite drunk Y/N moment,” he told you with a wide smile. “Thank you for telling me that,” he gently pinched your chin between his thumb and index finger, brushing your pink lips with his thumb. “You won’t remember this but at least I know where you stand. Like you say, drunk minds speak for a sober heart.”

“I’ll remember this,” you nodded. “Give me a pen and I’ll write it on my hand.”

“No,” he chuckled with a shake of his head. “I would prefer you not to remember this ‘cause I would like the element of surprise when I propose to you. Now c'mon,” he lifted you off the bench and plopped you onto your feet. “Let’s get you an Advil and put you to bed.”

“Chris?” You grabbed his hand and pulled him back towards you when he tried to walk to the pantry to get the medicine box. “I think I’m in-love with you.” You told him and he nodded in acknowledgement, chuckling. “No, I’m serious.”

“We’ve been dating for three years and you just told me you’d have kids for me, I think I already know that.” He caressed your face and kissed your forehead. “Do you want to make any other shocking announcements? ‘Cause I really need to get you that Advil and put you to bed otherwise you’re going to be having one hell of a hangover tomorrow.”

“No,” you shook your head, letting go of his hand. “That’s the only one.” You said then grinned which made him laugh. “Can we have pancakes in the morning?” You asked as he grabbed a sachet of Advil from the box.

“You can have anything you want,” he nodded. “Take this,” he popped two pills out of the sachet and passed it to you. “Let me get you some water.” He grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with the filter tap water. “Here,” he passed it to you with the instruction, “down the pills then drink it all. I don’t want to see a drop of it left in the glass.”

“You got it, Captain.” You saluted him then proceeded to do as he instructed.

“You’re going to have a lot of fun tomorrow morning,” he chuckled and kissed the top of your head.

What do we think, part 2?

Tyler, at the end of Nogla’s most recent upload, points out to Delirious that both him and Evan had everyone (on Skype) on mute while playing GTA V.

Marlene and Sirius when they forgot about their secret relationship

“about time really wasn’t it” Remus said rather calmly to an excited Lily whilst everyone else went mental

taken by Lily who had been filming the pair all night trying to gain evidence 

Drunk Texts

Drunk Texts

Word Count: 1294

Character: Reader x Chris Evans, mention of Scarlet, Mackie and Sebastian

Summary: You invite Chris to a party and he declines. You drunkenly text him and he comes to get you. SMUT follows.

Warnings: Swearing (cuz it’s me), SMUT (female getting off - fingering), reader being called “baby girl” (not a daddy kink though)

Author’s Note: This is based on a pic of Chris (see GIF, not my gif). It’s my first time writing anything smutty so I’m not sure how it is. I know it ends relatively abruptly, but I wasn’t sure to continue (and I haven’t).

I’ve tagged people that I thought might be interested in reading this but it’s NSFW and I’m not sure if it’s your cup of tea. Don’t feel pressured to read it though! 

Originally posted by forassgard


Chris rolled his eyes when his phone alert went off. The other guys ignore it the first time, but after the fourth, Anthony finally commented, “Can you check your fuckin’ phone, papi? It’s distracting.”

Another eye roll from Chris as he explained, “It’s probably Y/N. She’s at that party and she’s peeved I didn’t go.”

“That’s fine and dandy,” Anthony replied, dealing out the cards for another hand of poker. “But either check the phone or put it on fuckin’ vibrate!”

Chris pulled out his phone and started reading through his messages. He was half right, they were from you but you weren’t peeved at him. In fact, you were drunk.

The first message read, Hey Christopher, you should’ve come tonight. We’re having a blast without you!

The next one read, Pssht. It’s a good thing Scar and I made some new friends. Hope you’re having fun at poker.

The next was a selfie of you and Nat with some strangers in the background and the last was a picture of you and some guy sucking face.

“Son of a bitch!” Chris exclaimed, throwing down his cards. “Gotta go..fuck… I’ll explain later.”

Sebastian chuckled, “No need. We saw the pictures. Go, man.”

Keep reading

I Kissed a Boy

Based off of the song I Kissed a Boy by Jupither. Enjoy!

Pairing: H2OVanoss

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Evan wasn’t drunk.

Actually, he hadn’t even had one drink at that party.

So when Jonathan came up to him drunk as shit asking him to join him into the other room, Evan didn’t know why he started feeling weird. I mean, his friend was just drunk. It had happened before, and nothing was wrong.

Maybe it was the tone he used. It was low and kind of flirty. Yeah, it had to be the tone of voice. It was making Evan uncomfortable because of how it sounded. He had never heard his friend sound like that before, so that had to be it.

Nonetheless, Evan still followed.

Jonathan pulled him into one of the bedrooms and closed the door behind him. He turned to face Evan, and the only thing Evan saw was the lust in his eyes. Evan knew he should’ve backed away, or even left the room.

But he didn’t.

He didn’t know why, but something was keeping him in the room. Jonathan slowly walked towards him, swaying his hips a little.

Once he got to right in front of Evan, he stopped and looked straight into his eyes. “I’ve waited forever for this,” he murmured before smashing his lips against Evan’s. Evan stumbled backwards, his back hitting the door. Before Evan realized what he was doing, he kissed back, his lips moving in sync with Jonathan’s and his hands wrapping around Jonathan’s waist.

The first thing he tasted was cherry. There weren’t any cherry flavored food or drinks, Evan knew that. There was only one thing he could think of it being: chapstick.

Who knew it would drive a man crazy?

Evan kissed harder, his tongue finding it’s way into Jonathan’s mouth, earning him a moan.

Evan knew it was wrong. He was kissing his best friend for god’s sake! He wasn’t gay, and he had a girlfriend.

So why did it feel so right, even if it felt so wrong?

The feeling of it being so wrong turned Evan on even more, and eventually it landed him in the bed with Jonathan underneath him being a moaning, cursing, hot mess.

Evan wasn’t drunk. But that didn’t matter anymore.