Today I watched “Boy Interrupted” and I felt so sorry for Evan Perry. It was very devastating to know that I have every reason, the same thoughts and anxieties he had, but I’m here and he’s gone. I really wanted him to have the same chance as me, to continue and make things better, but unfortunately he found that death was the only way to eliminate your pain. R.I.P Evan Scott Perry 1990-2005
Everyone says they want some fairytale guy, or a knight in shining armour.
In all seriousness I would want someone like Evan, someone who would really understand the way my mind works, understand the darkness that envelops me and will hold my hand through it. He would understand there are days when everything irritates me and I’ll be a total bitch but would understand that it’s not my fault, that it’s not him and knows not to take it personal. He would know that at any moment my mood could go from so happy to conpletely depressed. He’d hold my hand and not ask me what was wrong, he’d just be there and wait. He would know that I worry too much and doubt everything but he wouldn’t take it to heart, he would just reassure me thar he’s not going anywhere. He would know that I’m intensely and ridiculously jealous, but he’d accept it and he’s try to make it better. My scars wouldn’t scare him and when I relapse he wouldn’t be mad, he would understand why. He would know all that and accept it. He would love me even with all my horrible faults.
I would do the same for him. I’d give him his space when he needed it. I’d hold him when he needed me too. I wouldn’t put it all on him all the time. He could be “weak” with me. I would be his shoulder to cry on, his confidant. I would take care of him and love him despite it all.
And if I lost him the same way Evan went, I would understand. Because sometimes, that’s all I want too.
I want my own Evan. And I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about that. ♥