eva lane

My squad; Or - Why I don’t have issues with the girl squad.

Firstly, there are lots of hijabis around in the background in Skam and Sana has chosen not to hang with them. So, lets start with that. It’s no one’s fault if you’re too busy staring at evak to notice. Nobody is forcing her to hang with these white girls. She wants to. I have found myself to be the only coloured person in the room, on occasion, and it has never been the first thing to occur to me. Mostly because that’s not why I choose to be places and do things.

Secondly, there’s something called assumed knowledge. Just because you know stuff you expect everyone else to know. It’s part of your primary socialisation and cultural conditioning. Basically growing up in your house with your parents in your culture. Specifically: Power distance, Collectivism/Individualism, forward looking vs looking to the past and Indulgence/Restraint.

Eastern and Western cultures typically clash because of these paradigms. What’s different isn’t wrong, it’s a perspective. And we all have the right to our own.

My squad in high school was a mixed bag. We didn’t google each other’s background. We spent time together and learned stuff. Also I’m old and the internet was dial up. Shut up :p

My two best friends:

1 Blonde, blued eyed and British roots - Welsh, Irish, Scottish etc Still my BFF. Same wavelength.

2 Half Scottish, half Turkish, muslim, hated patriarchy, actual rebel. Lots in common. Loved alcohol.

My brother is on the spectrum and straight up asked me which one was my bestie in front of them. Luckily I knew I didn’t have to choose.

3: Italian Christian. COFFEEEEEEEEE/BOOOOOOOKSSSSSS. Two of my squad’s favourite things.

+

4: Hijabi like Sana. Pakistani muslim. Boy band crazy. Never met her parents or went to hers. 

=besties

5: Me - Punjabi Sikh. Comedian; apparently. I was out as bi. My mum was everyone’s mum. Like all our friends loved her and they liked her cooking. Like, they could talk to her about stuff they wouldn’t ask their mums.  

Food/Alcohol:

My school served halal meat so it wasn’t an issue.

I can cook too. We would cook together in my kitchen. My Turkish friend’s mum basically kidnapped me once to learn a dish I’d made for my brother’s birthday. She met us in the mall and took me home with her to make dinner.

We’d meet up for coffee a lot and go to independent cafes and restaurant chains. Everyone buying whatever they want. When we went out we might have wine with lunch. We used to sit in pub beer gardens in the summer drinking coke or alcohol depending on our mood. I’ve had an on off relationship with alcohol. Like; I’ve had times when someone’s stolen a sip of my drink and made a face because its virgin. :p

We’d pick our own mini pizzas if we ordered in. I have picked pepperoni off more than one slice in my time; Like if we’re just heating up stuff they’ve got in the freezer. Most places have local shops and so we could go out and pick stuff up.

I was at my Turkish friend’s house after school once and they asked me to stay for dinner. I told her mum I’m vegetarian. She thought that just meant I only ate halal and kept saying it’s halal. I didn’t know what that meant. It was a conversation where we both went - Oh! Got yah!

I never needed to go drink in a field in the rain. My Turkish friend suggested it the first time. I looked old enough to get served and had bought us alcopops. I was like; Nah, my mum’s cool with it. Her eye’s popped outta her head like wtf. We had it with dinner and it wasn’t a big deal. 

The emphasis, in my house, was was on honesty and making your own decisions rather than enforcing a doctrine or following the herd. 

My little sister’s squad was comprised of Albanian, Lithuanian, black, white and mixed race girls. They all stayed round each others houses for the most dramatic non sleeping sleep overs ever lol. She still chills with a few of them. 

Hearing some of you go on it’s like you’re projecting your negative experiences onto this show rather than taking in what is actually happening. 

People follow their faith’s to varying degrees. If someone googled mine and told me what I should and shouldn’t be doing and made assumptions without asking me I’d be annoyed! Like; I’m here. Ask me. Sana just needs to speak up. Contrast is the device they’re using to show the differences. If Sana was an actual human being she would have said something.