Eurovision 2017 finalists in a nutshell:

Israel: Damn he hot
Poland: Boobies
Belarus: Spiritual healers
Austria: Brought to you by Dreamworks
Armenia: Heyoaheyohaye
Netherlands: Destiny’s Child
Moldova: Epic Sax Guy
Hungary: He’ll defeat the Huns
Italy: Harambe in heaven
Denmark: My ears are bleeding
Portugal: Good ol’ 1950′s
Azerbaijan: Halloween
Croatia: low budget Il Volo 
Australia: Sam Smith but with more eyebrows
Greece: Worst song you’ll hear in your entire life
Spain: Lazy Song v2
Norway: Daft Punk vs Imagine Dragons vs Alan Walker
United Kingdom: Toilet break
Cyprus: Human v2
Romania: Peter and Heidi all grown up
Germany: Titanium but worse
Ukraine: In final only because they are host
Belgium: Dull song with girl about to cry
Sweden: Me going to gym after work
Bulgaria: 3 years old kid with a voice of a 35 old man
France: Puts Eiffel Tower to background in case you mistake us for China