I’m not attracted to women because they align with stereotypical gender roles and femininity. I happen to have a preference for butch women and don’t date women who embody expectations of femininity - *gasp* am I still lesbian??? If anything, my feminism is about breaking free of gender roles, which position women as subordinate to men. This is a complete reversal of feminism, is a regressive and Eurocentric discourse based on upholding gender essentialism and a fantasy of lesbian sexuality.
Gender roles for women under patriarchy subordinate women and they demand women be tied in a submissive, heterosexual relationship with men! To be a woman in this system is to be heterosexual, gender roles and femininity upholds heterosexism. Lesbian woman are also denied womanhood and violently policed - especially butch black women - because we subvert [undermine the power and authority of/destabilise] expectations of what it is to be a woman based on femininity.
Furthermore, gender + white supremacy + colourism upholds European features, forms, beauty as the ideal expression of femininity and black women have been denied womahood on the basis of our race. Outside of the West (darker-skinned) African women are still characterised by how we don’t live-up to light skin, straight hair and other Ethnocentric and Northern ideals of femininity. Diverse cultural codes of dress as far expectations for women don’t align globally, so my lesbian sexuality would depend on what you mean exactly by appearing feminine, but it simply does not. Outside of the West, gender and femininity in relation to socio-cultural gender roles, are also used to remind African women of ‘our place’ and say we must remain subordinate to men.
I don’t align with gender, I am attracted to humxn, female people who are not feminine. I don’t date femininity, I don’t date gender roles, I date women. Lesbians date women, whether we align with femininity or not.