➤ “remember that jerk who stole your wallet the other day? it was him, my brother, he’s really really sorry” AU

➤ “i won’t destroy the Earth, but in exchange I want that -” “excuse me? who are you calling that? i’ve got a name? and stop pointing at me, that’s rude. also, no? i can’t be taken away by aliens today, i’ve got another appointment” AU

➤ “you cannot keep me” “oh, you’ve been with me for 8 years. you had me feeding you, bathing you and stuff. and now, you’re all my true form is this, i’m a werewolf who was new at werewolfing so i was stuck, but now i want to go away? you cannot keep me? really? after all this time?”  AU

➤ you’ve got a crush on the single lady’s son living in the house next to yours, but for some reason he always scowls at you. you and your friends get drunk one night and one of them has the crazy idea, “why don’t you try serenading him, huh?” it’s crazy, but you’re drunk. you don’t know which is the guy’s room so you pick a random one, and mid-song both the mom and the guy’s heads pop out from the window. “I KNEW IT! YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH! YOU’RE AFTER MY MOM!” “what? no, no, you’ve got it wrong-” “THEN WHY WERE YOU UNDER HER WINDOW?!” oooooh, so that’s why he does not like you. AU