Me thirty years in the future when I'm married with children
  • My Husband: Hey honey, whats wrong?
  • Me: I'm leaving you and taking the kids!
  • My Husband: What? Why
  • Me: My true love is finally home.
  • Me: *cradling the Etrian Odyssey V localization in my hands*
  • Me: Etria! Laagard! Armoroad! Pack your bags! We're leaving!
  • Husband: I still don't understand why you named them that. There are named characters in that game.
  • Me: *already on my painted blue deer with my wee ones in saddle bags riding off into the sunset*

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little rookie? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at the Midgard Library, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret missions in Etria, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in combat and I’m the top sniper in the entire Explorer’s Guild. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this labyrinth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me in the bar? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Dinogators across Yggdrasil and your guild card is being traced right now so you better prepare for the FOEs, maggot. The FOEs that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re getting a game fucking over, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only do I have 5000 skill points invested in fist mastery, but I have access to the entire drive blade arsenal of the Imperial knights and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of your poorly-drawn map, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit furyhorns all over you and you will drown in it. You’re out of fucking ariadne threads, kiddo.

frederica-irving  asked:

A while back I tried to make an upscaled version of Etria's Labyrinth in Minecraft. I finished the Emerald Woodlands, took a deep breath in, and let it all out. Not because I felt accomplished. Because I was like "WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE" and I quit the project. Don't do drugs, but especially don't do cringey Minecraft builds no one will appreciate. One kills you physically and the other does it emotionally.

Ok, i just realized something interesting

You know how the first two stratum bosses from the first Etrian Odyssey, have names based on mythologic figures (Fenrir and Cernunnos, Royalant non-standing since she is never refered to by npcs or any dialogue), but not the later two ones (Corotrangul and Iwaoropenelep)?

That’s because the names come from different sources. The first two were named by the people of Etria, who likely have read about these creatures in books and old literature they somehow recovered. Or maybe by Visil, who has knowledge of the past world, and is person who issues official missions.

But the other two? 

They are named by the forest folk, people who never had any kind of contact with the human culture, thus developed their own dialect and likely these names come from their native language, thus the reason they sound so outlandish. Nobody from Etria ever names these creatures, and both of their names are only known because Kupala mentions them.

I know it sounds silly and kinda obvious, but if Atlus just went and named all of them after mythological creatures, nobody would’ve realized or given it much thought, the fact that they went out of their way to give these creatures an original name makes me realize how much passion goes into these games, and makes me love them even more.

Diary:  My class is the one where we study our enemies, improve our skills, and hunt monsters in the most efficient way. My mom tried to stop me, but I left my family and village for Etria. I’m studying to become a world-famous Dark Hunter, the best there ever was!

Today’s lesson was, “Make four bonds on the neck, chest, stomach, and groin, using your whip. After that…”

I’m kind of wondering if I really want to be world-famous… in this way…