Requested: Nope, just an idea I’ve been having for a while.
Summary: You, Ethan and Grayson grew up together. You were very close to both of them but you were closer to Grayson causing deeper feelings to arise, it became harder and harder to control those feelings especially since he keeps coming for girl advice to you.
Word count: 1453
Warnings: Sad, all over the place.
(A/N) : I haven’t written anything in a very long time so my writing is pretty rusty, I apologies for that.
Growing up with two very sporty and energetic boys was hard at times, especially since you weren’t a very sporty person. Ethan and Grayson have always tried to get you into sports and they succeeded as you played a variety of sports with them when you guys were younger.
School was hard, people were making fun of you for hanging out with them, they often teased you saying that you were dating both of them. Mean words were thrown at you and they defended you every time. Ethan was better at keeping his cool and he was only throwing words back at the bullies, you couldn’t say the same about Grayson. He was the one getting more physical when guys were starting to really bother you and some of them touching you without consent.
You understood the reasons as to why they left but they left you alone to fend for yourself. With time, you grew immune to the insults and started defending yourself when the guys or girls were starting to get physical. You owed it to Grayson and Ethan for teaching you how to do so. Having two masculine influences growing up was starting to become an advantage.
When they decided to move to Los Angeles it was one of the most devastating moments in your life. You were so mad at them that you didn’t even help them pack and you didn’t even say goodbye.
“Gray, we have to go. We need to arrive in time at the airport to get trough security, we waited long enough. She isn’t coming.” Ethan tried to make Grayson get in the car as he was standing on the front porch of your house.
You were in your room, tears streaming down your face as you peaked from the window of your bedroom. You were afraid that the moment you hugged him, you weren’t going to be able to pull apart. Not only did they left you by yourself in school but they were going to leave you for good. Visiting during summer wasn’t enough and it wasn’t the same.
The day they left wasn’t the most devastating moment, it was a close second. The most devastating moment is happening right now.
You were in Grayson’s room, on his bed to be precise. You were staring at him as he was running his hand trough his hair in agitation. He was rambling to you about this girl he saw on Instagram. That girl was gorgeous, you couldn’t deny it. No one could. He’s been talking about her for about a week.
You tried to push the strong feelings that you had developed for Grayson but you couldn’t anymore. It was killing you inside, seeing him look at girls that he meets, a certain way. The way his eyes sparkle, the way he bites his lip eyeing the girl up and down. His face becoming flushed, he begins stuttering. You were seeing those reactions for those others girls.
With you he was his normal self, you know all of his emotions, form angry, to sad, to happy, to goofy. You have never experienced the flushed Grayson though. Now, you have, for another girl.
“Should I message her? No, that would be too weird. I mean, what do I say?” He has been rambling on and on.
“How about you text her a hey, Gray? Don’t you think that would be a good start for a conversation?” You asked him as you placed your hand on his shoulder, in order to ease his nerves.
You were very good at masking your emotions, at pretending that everything was fine.
“You’re right. I’m such an idiot for getting so worked up.” He chuckles as he wraps his arm around your waist giving your hip a little squeeze as he places a gentle peck on your cheek.
“What would I do that you, Y/N?” He asks with his big, mesmerizing smile.
You have him a weak one in return, the one you thought resembled a grimace.
That night, you had difficulty sleeping, it was becoming harder and harder to control your emotions. It’s been so long since you discovered that you were falling for him. How could you not? He’s the nicest guy you ever met, besides Ethan of course they were both very similar in that way.
Grayson could change your bad mood with just a simple smile, he had that kind of a big power on you. It was becoming too hard for you, being so close to him and not act upon your feelings.
Not seeing him that often was suppose to help and it did in a way. When you weren’t around him, you had the illusion that your feelings subsided but once you come and see him again, staying with him for three months of vacation. It’s a lot and the departure destroys you.
The night before the day you were supposed to return home in New Jersey, your feelings were all over the place, it was becoming too much for you. You couldn’t control your breathing, your mind was in a very dark place and you couldn’t escape all the bad thoughts. You had to tell him.
You, Ethan and Grayson came home after being out, you were distant the whole night.
“Okay, Y/N, you need to tell me what’s going on. I’m here, I’m always here to listen and you know that. Did the fans we saw earlier say anything bad to you? If they did you need to tell me.” Grayson pressured as he crouched in front of you as you were sitting on the edge of the bed.
You shook your head with a frown. “No, they didn’t say anything bad. They were really nice actually. It’s just…something that has been on my mind for a really long time and I don’t know how to say it. I’m scared..to say it, actually.”
Grayson’s worried expression changed to a confused one. You were scared? You’ve never been scared to tell him anything before.
“I..” You stopped as you had to take a deep breath, your heart was pounding. You squeezed your eyes shut. You had to do this, it was hurting you too much.
“I can’t come visit anymore.” You blurred out quickly. Your eyes opened wide as you stare at him, that wasn’t how you planed to tell him.
His eyebrows scrunched, his mouth was parted as he stared at you.
“Wha-what? What do you mean you can’t visit anymore? Are you guys having money troubles? Because I told you before, we’d be happy to pay for your ticket, we said that since the beginning-”
“No! Grayson, it’s not money problems. I just can’t be around you anymore.” You interrupted him, getting up as you started pacing around the room.
You couldn’t look at him, you couldn’t see his hurt expression after you said that. Grayson didn’t get were that was coming from. What did you mean by that? What did he do wrong?
“Did I do something wrong?” He asks, his voice quiet and wary.
You quickly shook your head and stopped pacing, you were facing him now, his eyes were filled with sadness.
“No, you’re doing everything right and that’s the problem.” You said, your voice beginning to shake as tears were welling up into your eyes.
“I can’t be around you anymore without wanted to hold your hand or kiss you. I can’t watch you fall for other girls. I can’t be the best friend. I’m sorry, Grayson. I tried, trust me. I really tried to bury these feelings away. Our friendship means so much to me but for a while now, all it does is hurt me.” You finally let it all out, tears were running down your cheeks. Your vision was so blurry that you could only see his figure. The lump in your throat made it hard for you to finish your sentences.
Grayson was speechless, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How did he not see that his best friend was hurting. How did he not see that he was the cause of your suffering. He slowly made his way towards you and wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry into his chest. He was holding your shaking body to him, holding back his own tears.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized quietly. What was he apologizing for? Was he sorry for not noticing? For not return your feelings? Or both?
The day of your flight, your said your goodbyes to both of them. You couldn’t look Grayson in the eyes, the guilt that was in them made your heart ache, your heart has suffered too much already.
(A/N) : Well that was pretty crappy, I’m sorry like I said my writing is pretty rusty. Leave some feedback, is you want and if you guys have any requests I’ll be happy to hear them out! Thank you for reading !