If the day has gone completely different than what you were expecting, and if you find yourself growing weary because of what you did not accomplish, remember that more than this day is about what you accomplished, it’s about who you are and how you braved through, because of Christ’s strength that is within you.
You may feel like you’ve fallen completely behind, but that doesn’t take away from where God is taking you. That does not stop Him from leading you as He lovingly reminds you: what you do for Him is never in vain.
It’s hard, but you can still be keep your head up, and be encouraged, because you know in your heart you’re do what you do for something much greater than you. You know in your heart that is strength within you, and not because of you, but because of Him. You know that the failures or successes of today has far less to do with tasks and more to do with how you chose to live for Christ and keep pressing on. The relationship you have with Him is what sets the tone for a productive, successful day and nothing else. Having daily tasks and setting goals are not wrong, but continue to hold onto the beautiful truth that no matter what happens with this job, this project, or anything else, when you do what you do for the Christ, you will not fail. Continue to give your all, but give your all for Him. Is there alone you will find the best results. And not because it means you’re perfect, but because your goals, desires, and passions are attached to something far, far greater than you: Jesus.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. - Matthew 5:6
This is where a life of fulfillment begins: with Jesus. Because the life we live here is not forever, and Jesus paves the way for us to have better and Eternal Life, which is what we have to look forward to. So even if you feel that today could have been so much better, you are still alive, and the strength you have in Christ is still here. It is never too early or late to stop what you’re doing, take a deep breath, and remember, by the grace of God, you are going to be okay, and the work you do for Him is never in vain.
Written by @morganhnichols for #TheDevoCo
Hi can you write a drabble with 66 and 68 from the August prompt list with Klaus Mikaelson please? Thank you
Klaus Mikaelson – My goal isn’t to live forever, my goal is to create
something that will
know how you do it love…” Klaus took a sip from his drink and leaned back but
didn’t stop watching you intensely until it started to freak you out a little.
You need to be a bit clearer, ok?” You frowned, having no idea what he was
talking about. The remark had come out of nothing. You had noticed some stares
in the last hour, but he hadn’t said what was bothering him.
living… dealing with an entire family of immortal vampires who can make your
life bloody complicated.” He bit his lip, suddenly seeming a lot more innocent
than you knew him to be.
shrugged. You had thought about it, but in a way it had been normal to get
involved. To not stand at the sidelines and watch others do the dirty work.
“I’m not sure if I really made a decision to get involved.” You smiled. “If I
remember correctly, you played a part in that…” You raised an eyebrow and
looked at Klaus with an almost mischievous look.
have had something to do with that, yes…”, he laughed, before getting serious
again. “But that doesn’t explain why you stayed. You could have walked out. You
could have gone away and never look back. I wouldn’t have blamed you for it.
That’s what everyone does in the end…”
your head. “I couldn’t. I believe there
is some good in this world and it’s worth fighting for.” The thought had
crossed your mind, obviously. Just leave Klaus to clean his own dirt… you knew
he was responsible for a lot of it, after all. But then there were others
involved, others you liked. Camille, Freya. Hope. Hope most of all.
good isn’t me, love… and I don’t want to hear any objections about that. We
both know what I am capable of.” He finished the drink, ordering a new one
immediately. He didn’t seem to be completely comfortable with this conversation
he started, even when assuming the role of the bad guy was something he did
easily. “You could have sided with everyone else in this town and fought for
what they believed was good. Besides… my enemies assume my allies have an
eternal life, like me. It’s dangerous…”
think those others are much better than you are. A lot of them wanted to involve
a child in all of this, after all…” That was what had made you stay at the
Mikaelsons. Hope. And the ruthlessness of others to involve her. She was
nothing but a child, but she had been a target since she had been born.
“And I won’t say I’m not afraid to die, because I am. I’m terrified, from time
to time. But my goal isn’t to live forever,
no matter how often you’ll offer it to me. My
goal is to create something that will. And despite everything you’ve done,
despite all the times we disagree, I believe you want the same.” You still did.
The more you got to know him, the more you were convinced he wanted to leave
this town as a place he could be proud of. Even when it was just for that
little girl that could wrap him around his little finger every time she wanted
believe you see too much good in me, Y/N.” The smile was back on Klaus’ face.
He would still be afraid to put you in danger. He would doubt again when the
demons in his head started to play their game again. “But I’ll take it. I need
each and every one who will still trust me if I want my child to survive this
city. Failing is not an option.”
Can you make a fic rec with all your favorit sterek fics? Non angst sterek fics. PLEASE <3
Other nony asked:
I was going through your text posts and saw something about all the bottom!derek writers and I was wondering if u could recommend any bottom!derek fics??
Hey babes, I’m kind of not around as much as I would like because college’s kicking my butt, so I’m not reading as much sterek as before. But because I don’t want to let you guys hanging, I’m gonna share some of my old recs, they’re mostly happy fics, and there’s a LOT of bottom Derek in it.
All my recs have a description of the fic and my comments about it. I hope you guys enjoy those as much as I did.
SEDUCTIVE | Vampire! Au | Jungkook X Reader | SMUT | 14
Mature content ahead, sorry for any mistakes, and thanks for reading this!
There were many questions racing through your mind, but there was one more prominent: How the fuck did I end up here? When you had woken up that morning, Jungkook had asked you how you wanted to spend the day. Naturally, you should have been at work - seeing as it was a Monday - but since Jungkook was your boss, you had been given the day off. After a few minutes of consideration, you had decided that you wanted to go to a theme park. However, before you had set out for the theme park, you had made him promise no big rides. And he had promised, although begrudgingly. And you were an idiot, for believing he would honour his promise. So that was how you found yourself hear - on an enormous rollercoaster, strapped inside beside Jungkook, who naturally found the situation positively hilarious. As you climbed higher and higher up the structure, coming closer to the first drop of the ride, you were clinging to the bar before you so tightly your knuckles were nearly turning white. Jungkook was laughing quietly at your wide-eyed reaction (that bastard). ‘Aw, baby,’ he cooed in a tone so condescending you wanted to hit him, 'Do you want me to hold your hand?’ Scowling darkly, you told him to shut up. But you also shoved your hand into his hand. Jungkook couldn’t help but snort with amusement at your efforts to not show how frightened you were, and his thumb rubbed circles against the smooth skin of your hand, trying to calm you. When the climb gradient became less steep, you were sickened by the realisation that you were about to began the descent. 'Jungkook,’ you said through gritted teeth, 'If I die, I’m going to kick your ass.’ Jungkook turned to look at you, a grinning like an idiot. 'It’s a meaningless threat, seeing as I’d enjoy it,’ he informed you. You were about to send him a more colourful threat when you came to the daunting realisation that you had stopped ascending - and you were beginning to tilt downwards. Snapping your eyes away from Jungkook, you see the drop before you. You only had time to mutter, 'Fuck you,’ before you went over the edge. You plunged downwards, and wind whistled in your ears. Jungkook beside you was loving it. He was smiling widely, laughing even. So unfair. Holy fuck, you were moving fast. You decided to close your eyes, but that just meant you couldn’t ready yourself for sudden movements instead. So instead you pried your eyes open, and tightened your grip on Jungkook’s palm. Now that the largest drop had passed, the drops of the rollercoaster were tamer, and you, shockingly, found yourself enjoying the experience. You could see the entirety of the theme park to your right, and the rolling ocean to the left. It was amazing, and you loved: why had you always been so scared? When the ride ended, you were almost disappointed. You and Jungkook climbed off the ride, hand in hand, and he smiled down at you. 'You enjoyed that,’ Jungkook told you, 'Admit it.’ 'In your dreams,’ you replied sticking your tongue out. The two of you located an empty bench by the carousel, and you sat down. 'Thirsty?’ Jungkook asked, and you nodded in reply. With a sly wink, he bit his lip and suggested, 'How about we head back and I quench your thirst then, huh?’ Rolling your eyes, you hit his stomach lightly. 'Thirsty for water,’ you corrected him, and he went to buy you a drink, pouting and pretending to be sincerely hurt. How could he change moods so quickly? Jungkook had only been gone for a minute or so when a person sat down beside you. You turned to face them, and much to your surprise, you recognised their face: it was your ex-boyfriend, Jeongsan. You dated for a while back in college - before he cheated on you, that was. He was always partying, and he was such a player. God, what had you seen in him in the first place? Yeah, he was attractive, but his personality was horrendous. What a dick. But looking at him now, you were grateful he’d been disloyal: he in no way compared to Jungkook. 'Hey, (Y/N). Long time no see, huh?’ he greeted you. You could smell alcohol on his breath, and you couldn’t believe it. Who comes to a theme park with the desire of getting drunk with their friends? It was something only Jeongsan would do. You flashed him a false smile which felt to you more like a grimace. 'Yeah, it’s been ages.’ His eyes ran up and down your body, and he made no move to obscure the fact he was clearly ogling your figure. 'You know, (Y/N)’ he slurred leaning closer, to you, his breath hot against your neck, 'you’ve gotten a lot hotter since I last saw you.’ You pushed yourself as far back against the bench as possible, wanting to escape. You began to tell him to move away, but he cut you off. 'You were a pretty good fuck back then. Probably still are…’ The sentence trailed off as his eyes fell to your chest. Before he could speak another word, he was ripped away from you. You watched him fly away from you and to your great relief, there was Jungkook. He held Jeongsan up by the collar of his shirt, and it seemed as if he was barely trying. Jungkook was absolutely furious - his jaw was tense, his knuckles were turning white, and he was practically shaking with fury. 'Don’t touch what you can’t afford, asshole,’ he spat, before throwing Jeongsan to a crumpled heap on the floor. Quickly, you jumped up and wrapped your hands around Jungkook’s arm, making sure the matter wouldn’t escalate any further. Jungkook’s eyes did not move from Jeongsan’s groaning form, so you gently tugged his arm, motioning for him to leave. He didn’t speak: he just wrapped his arm around your waist possessively and lead you back to the car. Once you found it, Jungkook unlocked the car without speaking, and slid into the driver’s seat. You followed suit, looking at him worriedly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Remaining perfectly still for a few moments, he sat motionless, seemingly attempting to calm himself down. When he opened his eyes, he turned to you, his face apologetic. 'I’m sorry,’ he murmured. 'I didn’t mean to ruin the day.’ You shook your head, and reached out for his hand. 'The day isn’t ruined.’ Jungkook frowned, clearly still thinking about Jeongsan. 'I’m surprised that I didn’t kill him, seeing because of the Claiming, and all.’ Your jaw hung slack, and you slumped back in your seat. Shit. You had completely forgotten about that. The thirty days till you would either become a vampire, remain unchanged, or die. 'The Claiming,’ you murmured, turning to face Jungkook. 'How long do I have left? Jungkook sighed, his gaze gentle. 'A week.’ You murmured an obscenity, and shook your head. How could you have forgotten about something so important. Sitting in silence, you pondered the different outcomes, before an idea you had contemplated before came to mind. 'If I remain unchanged, nothing has to happen. We can continue like this.’ Jungkook nodded in agreement. 'If I am going to die… Will you be able to tell if I’m going to die? When the thirty days are up?’ Jungkook nodded, and explained, 'Your irises turn completely black.’ 'Well, in that case, I want you to bite me,’ you decided. Now it was Jungkook’s turn to be surprised. He shot you a questioning look, and you shrugged. 'An eternity is better than a life cut short, in my opinion,’ you told him. 'And…’ your voice became quieter, 'if I change, and become a vampire, I’m mated to you, correct?’ Again, Jungkook nodded, concern on his face for what you were about to say. 'It’s like a marriage.’ You remained silent for a moment, before smiling softly at him. 'That doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world.’ For a moment, Jungkook was frozen: eyes wide, lips parted. And then he leaned over to you, and his lips crashed against yours. The kiss was fierce: all tongue, passion and heat. He gently bit on your bottom lip, making you moan softly, and then slipped his tongue into your mouth. The kiss was fierce: all tongue, passion and heat. When Jungkook pulled away, you could’ve sworn there were tears in his eyes. 'You’d really be okay with that? An eternity? With me?’ he questioned disbelievingly. 'I know I haven’t known you long, but even if I had a choice, even if there was no chance of it happening, it does sound rather tempting,’ you told him. 'The second we get home, I’m going to make love to you all night. Don’t even think about protesting,’ he told you putting the keys in the ignition. * When you arrived back at the house, Jungkook opened the car door for you, bowing. 'Ma'am,’ he addressed you, and you snorted. He took your hand as you walked up the steps to the house. He was about to unlock the door when his phone pinged in his pocket, notifying him that he had a message. You thought nothing of it, but then you saw how Jungkook’s face fell when he read the message. 'Jungkook?’ you questioned. 'What is it?’ His eyes met yours, his expression grave. 'Get in the house. Quick,’ he told you, fumbling with the keys. 'Why? What’s happening?’ you asked worriedly as he ushered you in the house. 'I don’t know how, but Jimin found out we’re together. He’s mad. Really mad. And he’s on his way.’
“In an era far across the seas of time, it has been foreseen that Alduin shall return to cleanse the land in the fires of his wrath. Rahgot is right, the walls will soon be breached by the heretics and we must secure the inner sanctum. Do not fear the embrace of death for it shall last only till the dragons rise again. Then we too shall walk the lands and bring back the true faith.” -anonymous note, written by a Dragon Cultist stationed at Forelhost
By the time of the Stormcloak Rebellion, most of Skyrim considered dragons to be nothing more than ancient legends and childish fairytales. Nords scoffed at the idea of flying, fire-breathing lizards–right up until the moment one burned Helgen to ash.
But it wasn’t always that way. Back in the Merethic Era, dragons ruled Skyrim with an iron claw. They burned villages, carried away innocent Nords,used the power of the Voice to reshape the world into one more accommodating to their black hearts, and terrorized the land in general. They were creatures hated and feared by local humans, and many mortals longed for the days when dragons no longer took to the skies.
Naturally, this meant that many of them would bow down in worship.
The Dragon Cult began as a way for the Nords to appease their winged tyrants. Though they worshipped a massive pantheon of animal totems, having brought the practice all the way from Atmora, they set a special place aside for the dragons. In return for loyalty and tribute, the dragons would leave them alone and terrorize the filthy heretics instead.
But some were more serious about it than others. There were some that truly believed in the dragons’ claimed godhood, and those that proved their faith were rewarded. The dragons blessed them with powers beyond those of normal mortals, even promising them eternal life if their loyalty was unwavering. These were the Dragon Priests, the leaders of the Cult, and they ruled Skyrim in the dragons’ name.
Under the dragons’ rule, the Dragon Priests held more power than any general or king. They wrote laws, commanded armies, lived in grand palaces, and punished anyone they deemed to be ‘unfaithful’. Every year, the leaders of the Cult would meet at the Labyrinthian, a grand temple to Alduin, the dragons’ immortal leader, and the center of dragon worship in Skyrim. There, they would discuss matters of rule and worship. This went on for centuries. At times, the Cult’s cruelty was only eclipsed by their masters themselves.
Eventually, their reign would come to a bloody end. One of the Eight Divines and true gods of Tamriel, Kyne, took pity on the Nords. She sent a dragon known as Paarthurnax to teach them the secrets of the Thu'um. Dragons were well-known for their ability to craft the words of their enchanted language, Dovahzul, into a Thu'um–or 'Shout’. Just by reciting Shouts, dragons could breathe fire, summon allies, and even conjure storms with nothing more than their voice and their will.
And Paarthurnax handed this ability down to the mortals. Suddenly in possession of a powerful weapon, the Nords rose up against the Dragon Cult. This was the beginning of the Dragon War, a long and violent conflict between men and dragons
The war only ended when three Nord heroes, Hakon One-Eye, Felldir the Old, and Gormlaith Golden-Hilt, climbed the Throat of the World and challenged Alduin himself. Though only Felldir survived the encounter, and his account of the battle is now lost to history, one thing is known: Alduin never left the mountain’s summit. With the dragons’ leader gone, they could do nothing to stop the Nords from winning the day… and eventually, the war.
With their gods defeated, the Dragon Cult couldn’t stand against the vast army of angry Nords arrayed before them. The Labyrinthian was sacked, the loyal acolytes were slain, and the once-mighty temples of the Dragon Cult became their tombs. The Nords sealed their enemies behind great stone gates and devious traps–they didn’t believe Alduin’s promises of eternal life, but they felt it was better not to take chances with this sort of thing.
Remnants of the Dragon Cult did manage to evade the massacres. For the rest of the Merethic Era, they traveled Skyrim, recovering the bodies of slain dragons and preserving them in burial mounds to await their ressurection. As the First Era dawned, they retreated to their hidden fortress, Forelhost, where they planned to hide until Alduin’s return.
Their sanctuary was discovered mere decades later by the Nord general Skorm Snow-Strider. Leading yet another campaign against the nefarious Snow Elves, Skorm stumbled upon Forelhost by chance. Eager to destroy the Dragon Cult once and for all, Skorm left the Snow Elves to their dark fate and laid siege to the monastery. Their leader, the Dragon Priest Rahgot, knew that they couldn’t hold Forelhost once the norn breached the outer gates using the Thu'um. Not wanting to be taken alive, he ordered that Forelhost’s well be poisoned, and that the Cultists use it to claim their own lives. When Skorm’s men breached the Inner Sanctum, they found every Dragon Cultist dead. This was the last recorded encounter with living Dragon Cultists in all of Tamriel. The Cult was gone.
But… it wasn’t gone forever.
Alduin’s promise of life unending hadn’t been a vain one. Through the use of foul magic known only to the Dragon Cult itself, the faithful lasted long beyond their mortal years in the form of the hideous Draugr. Though they were still locked in their ancient temples and barrows, they knew it wouldn’t last forever. The Dragon Priests knew that Alduin wasn’t dead, and they knew that when he returned, they would return as well.
And so, in the 201st year of the Fourth Era, when a great black dragon descended upon the unsuspecting village of Helgen, the dead stirred in their ancient tombs and rejoiced. The time of the Dragon Cult had come again.
judge the Ottomans too harshly you must first keep in mind that at this time slavery
was quite common and even prevalent in some places. The Eastern Roman Empire
(Byzantine) was well known for its great quantity of slaves. Most of their
slaves were Muslims (Arabs and Turks) and those who inhabited the Balkans,
mainly Serbians and Bulgars. The holy crusaders known as the Hospitallers
were known to simply kill Turkish prisoners and the Catalan company
(mercenaries) were known to have killed all Turks over the age of 10.
followed the Islamic practice of not harming any prisoners of war who were
under the age of 20 but this didn’t prevent them from enslaving them. The Turks
instituted the Islamic practice of ‘Khums’ (“tax of a fifth”) which allotted the Sultan one fifth of all profit.
After the conquest of Gallipoli in 1354 CE, Candarli Kara Halil proposed to the
Sultan the pencik: the Sultan’s claim to one fifth of all human captives
and/or a tax of one fifth of each slave sold.
All members of
the Birum were known as kul (“slave,
servant”) though in reality many were free and could rise to very high
ranks within the government as well as being allowed to marry and have
children. Zakat (“that which
purifies”), one of the five pillars of Islam, is a charity tax which
would go towards those in need and the worthy of charitable support (the poor,
those who were in debt and the freeing of slaves).
“Zakat expenditures are only for the poor and for the needy and for
those employed to collect (zakāt) and
for bringing hearts together and for freeing captives (or slaves) and for those in debt (or bonded labor) and for the cause of Allah and for the (stranded) traveler - an obligation ordained by Allah.
and Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom.” – Surat At-Tawbah, 9:60.
vizier Kara Khalil Candarli instituted the devşirme (“collecting”) a system in which Christian subjects were
made to give their children to the Ottomans to be converted to Islam and
trained for civic or military positions within the Ottoman Empire. At first
these would be made up primarily of slaves and prisoners of war but as time
passed and more Balkan nations were subdued this came to cover youths given as
tribute by vassal realms. One could become part of the famed military infantry
corps known as the Janissaries (“new
corps”) or the mounted Kapikulu.
“The conquered are the responsibility of the conqueror, who is the
lawful ruler of them, of their lands, of their goods, of their wives, and of
their children. We have a right to do, same as what we do with our own; and the
treatment which I propose is not only lawful, but benevolent. By enforcing the
enrolling them in the ranks of the army, we consult both their temporal and
eternal interests, as they will be educated and given better life conditions.”
It is said by some that this was instituted to counteract the power of
the Turkish nobility which had grown in strength, renown, and unreliability in
the eyes of the Ottomans. Other Muslims were against this, seeing it as a gross
violation of rights of the sultan’s non-Muslim subjects. Ottoman legal experts tried
to justify the devşirme on the grounds that those recruited were not ‘protected
people’ because their ancestors were conquered.
Osprey – ‘Elite’ series, issue 58 – Janissary by David Nicolle and Christa Hook (Illustrator).Front Center - Acemi Oglan Trainee, Left - Sergeant of Janissary recruits, Right – Falakaci Bashi (‘head of punishment’).
every five years the Ottomans would be given one youth out of every 40 households
which throughout the entirety of its use it is believed that between hundreds
of thousands to 5 million children were taken into the devşirme system. Aged
between 8 to 18/20, the youths chosen would’ve been from rural peasant families
in Rumelia (the Balkans); they wanted these recruits to be both healthy and
relatively uneducated which is why they avoided recruiting most Greeks being
that a good portion dwelt in either cities, ports or islands. Those with
certain occupations were granted immunity, like miners and those living on
strategic routes or passes being that they served a purpose and could also
provide defensive protection over the general area. Families with only one son
were excused, as were Jews and orphans.
skilled youths were taught Islam, languages, music, science, literature
(Arabic, Persian and Turkish), horse riding, javelin throwing, archery,
wrestling and an art of their choosing, They would attain high administrative,
religious or military positions; the best of these Ic Oglan (Ic Oglanis,
‘pages’) were sent to the Sultan’s palace and the others were sent to become a
part of the Kapikulu cavalry.
youths who didn’t become Ic Oglans became Acemi Oglans (apprentice, beginner,
rookie, recruit). Taught Islam, to speak Turkish, mathematics and most of all,
received military training. The most skilled would eventually become Bostanci
(gardeners), Baltaci (woodcutters), armorers, gunners, marines or Janissaries.
Although this may seem barbaric and cruel, the devşirme provided the lower
classes with a way to progress in the ranks. Peasant families are reported to
have openly volunteered their children and went as far as bribing recruiters.
The Janissaries began to decline as admittance into the devşirme became
more open and it was eventually abolished completely, pretty much allowing any
one to join regardless of religion, ethnicity or nationality. Officially the
only Muslims that were allowed into the Janissaries were subjugated Balkan
converts but after 1582 even free men joined the Janissary corps. From 1568 CE and
onward the sons of Janissaries were allowed admittance and soon the majority of
the corps were made up primarily of these families. By 1594 CE recruitment was
open to all Muslims, even those of non-Balkan descent were allowed to join. The
Janissary corps became filled with men who bought their way in, known by now as
an army of corrupt, militarily inexperienced and untrained youths.
If there are any errors please privately inbox me so I can update it. As always, if you’d like to read or learn about any specific historical subjects just let me know what they are and I will take note of them.
Ottoman Military: Akinci and Deli, Light Cavalry Raiders – LINK.
Trigger warning: Major character death, attempted suicide, razor blades, cutting…
“That’s enough,” is all I hear before I see Theo stab Jerome in the neck. My whole life with him flashes before my eyes. Everything around me goes silent. All I can do is stare as his body drops to the ground. I resist the urge to go over and say my final words to him. His mouth curved into a devilish grin. That was the last of Jerome Valeska.
I sit at the mansion. The couch where Jerome and I used to read together. Everything reminds me of him.
“Y/N?” Theo says as he enters the room, “You know I had to kill him. And you did good out there not drawing any attention to yourself. You got away!”
“Jerome is dead. And all you care about is everyone else escaping? You’re even more heartless than any of us. Why? Why did you do it?” I ask him. My eyes were filling with tears but, I didn’t let them fall. I was thinking of killing him. Maybe I could just take a knife from the kitchen and end his life.
“This changes the game! I’m a hero, now. I stopped this villain group,” He says while smirking. It looks as if he’s mocking me.
“You betrayed him. You were jealous. He was the leader. The boss. Everyone looked up to him. You’re just some peasant fool,” I spit out at him getting closer and closer.
We’re eye-to-eye, now. I feel a slight burning sensation upon my cheek. He slapped me. “You better shut your mouth. I could kill you, next,” He threatens.
“I’d like to see you fucking try,” I whisper in his ear. I step back, a little. I turn around to seem as if I was done with our little chat. I face him, again, and punch him right in his face. He falls to the ground. Blood covering his nose.
“I’m leaving, now. This won’t be the last of me…” I mumble. I walk out and take my coat with me.
Lonely. The perfect word to describe me. It’s been only two weeks since Jerome’s death. I lost touch with Babs. Tabitha was… gone. My apartment was empty. No life was visible. Death seemed better than this eternal loneliness. I couldn’t even kill! It reminded me of Jerome… A murderer who doesn’t murder isn’t really a murderer, then. I lost that title.
I walked into the bathroom. Perfectly still razor blades. Maybe suicide? It seemed better than being alive.
“This will only hurt for a second, Y/N. It’s-it’s better than living a life alone without… him… ” I whisper to myself. I start cutting at one wrist. The pain is intense but, I keep going. A single tear drops into the wound. I turn to the other wrist. I do the same. Cutting slowly and one tear falling. I sit on the cold tile floor. Soon enough, my blood was all over. I wait for death. Everything was going fuzzy. A figure comes out of nowhere and stands in front of me. It picks me up and starts wrapping my wrists in towels.
“Y/N? Doll? Please? Wake up…” It sounds like a male’s voice. I blink slowly a couple times to clear up the image. My little psycho ginger. He was back.
“Jer-Jerome? Is that… you?” I ask quietly and almost inaudibly. “Yes. Doll, it’s me. What do you think you were doing?” He asks. I see tears rolling down his face. They’re dropping all over the floor.
“I thought you were gone. I didn’t want to live without you,” I mutter under my breath.
“I almost lost you.” He says, “I can’t live without you, either. Doll, I love you…”
Where is it I’ve read that someone condemned to death says or thinks, an hour before his death, that if he had to live on some high rock, on such a narrow ledge that he’d only room to stand, and the ocean, everlasting darkness, everlasting solitude, everlasting tempest around him, if he had to remain standing on a square yard of space all his life, a thousand years, eternity, it were better to live so than to die at once. Only to live, to live and live! Life, whatever it may be!
Aries: The MOST social person I’ve ever met. So obsessed with human interactions that they actually thrive off of them. Very opinionated and often bossy. They think they know best and really just want to be loved and to be free at the same time. Emotional being with a big heart and a whole lot of passion. Loves to cuddle and to get attention. Takes much pride in their personal appearance. Someone I’ve grown apart from, that is no longer in my life. My biological father.
Taurus: The most laid back person ever. The eating thing isn’t a lie, not even close. Very VERY smart, but often lazy. Takes a lot to get them out of bed in the mornings. Once they are passionate about something, they stubbornly stand beside it to the very end. An amazing friend. The type of person that pays for your food, no questions asked. Laughs a lot and loves to make others laugh as well. Kind eyes. The best friend of my boyfriend.
Gemini: The funniest person I’ve ever met, I admire them so much. Dazzling personality, wild soul. Has a permanent childishness about them. Always the best at parties. May have different sides to them, but fiercely loyal to the right people, and will defend their friends to the very end when necessary. Hard workers that sometimes get overlooked, but are extremely intellectual. Gifted fighters. Fierce and defiant. Usually short. Quick-tempered and quick-witted. Great at arguing. Has the funniest laugh. Believes in you. My best childhood friend.
Cancer: SO MATERNAL ITS CRAZY. They make very good friends. Emotional, but also often use their logical senses. One of the most artistic and intellectual signs out there. Very intuitive, they seem to know what’s going on before anyone else does. Sympathetic for the most part, but not as selfless as everyone would believe. Very caught up in their own lives, introverted. Family-oriented, and, in truth, a very resilient sign. Loves the sea, unsurprisingly, as they’re a water sign. Has a competitive spirit. Just wants to fit in. Will bitch you out one moment and cry quietly the next. Wears a lot of scarves and sweaters. My best friend.
Leo: So damn cocky it’s ridiculous, but once you get to know them, you see that there’s more than meets the eye. Secretly self conscious and afraid of not being good enough. They tend to be over-dramatic and prone to large fits. So feisty it’s ridiculous, but in general they’re all just big crybabies. Very in touch with who they are as a person. Obnoxious, but easy to love and want to be around. Wild, youthful souls. Big, beautiful eyes. Effortlessly popular. Takes pride in their appearance and their accomplishments, and will let you know it. Always finds good music and makes you listen to it. Cries more than anyone will ever know, because they only do it in secret. My younger sister.
Virgo: The nag, the smart one. The one that’s secretly so afraid of being unloved or unnoticed that they often don’t say much at all, for fear of being ostracized. Obsessed with books and learning. Always afraid of being forgotten. Pretends to be very headstrong but is really just a weakling that can be vicious when provoked. Knows how to hit where it hurts. Can be very funny but only when the cards are played right. Slightly selfish, but always has good intentions and wants to make life (and everything) better. Myself.
Libra: An eternal child. Always believing the sun revolves around them, much like Leo. A bit materialistic, but will love you to death if you love them. Fun to be around. Naturally beautiful. Very easy to love. Extroverted. Generous. Will do anything to please and keep the peace. Alert and sensitive, almost like a water sign. Popular and charismatic, gifted at making others laugh. Sees the best in people and forgives far too easily. Often winds up hurt, just wants love and a real family. Often musically and artistically gifted. Very dramatic. They give the best and warmest hugs. My big sister.
Scorpio: The outsider. So difficult to understand and like. Always wanting to be different, and yet also deeply desiring acceptance from others. Actually sensitive. In tune with themselves, but not necessarily others. Forgettable. Beautiful and mysterious. Makes you envious. Annoys you with how easily seduction comes to them. Wears pajamas all the time because they actually love to sleep. A bit selfish. Either laughs too loud or at the wrong times. Very good with technology and test-taking. My big stepsister.
Sagittarius: Needy. So, so very needy. Adventurous and always searching for the next big journey. Always desiring attention. Smart, but too immature to realize their full potential. Always in for the chase, but not the long haul. Unreliable. Attractive, even to the most stubborn of signs. Truly a good person who just gets caught up in the moment or in a bad decision. Always listens to good music. Loves the idea of relationships, but not the actual prospect. Can’t be tied down. Doesn’t take no for an answer. A real go-getter. Charming and manipulative. My ex-boyfriend.
Capricorn: Just as stubborn as any Taurus, but a much harder worker. I admire them. Sarcastic and cynical. They believe in tradition. Creatures of habit. The funniest person to be yourself around. Someone that comes off as cold but you get comfortable with after time. Seductive. Warm and cozy. Not very emotional, but really more logical and moral. Headstrong and independent. Appears to be older than they are, though there’s definitely an immature side. Just wants to follow a routine with the ones they love. Has a heart that not many people get to see. Doesn’t cry in front of others. Loves food and anything to do with comfort. My boyfriend.
Aquarius: Difficult to follow. Flighty. Opinionated. Loud. Actually very good with money. Always in control. Masters of communication. Comes off as cold and generally is. Plays it aloof. Watchful. Observant. Likes socialization, although they don’t need anyone to survive. Has crutches, like drugs and alcohol. Is really very fragile, though no one would know it. Rolls eyes almost all the time. Acts like they’re the boss in every given situation. Can NOT lose control. Loves to play the victim. Almost as hardworking as a Capricorn. Small, secretive smiles. My mother.
Pisces: A whiny baby who wants to be tended to. Alcoholic. Very funny when in large crowds. Creative and emotional, they are very deep and sensitive. Good person to have long talks with. Night owl. Intellectual but bad at saving money or ‘adulting.’ Typically bad at planning. Very whimsical and strange. Wants to believe that people are generally good. Needs shelter and structure, but is unable to find it. Can not remember things very easily. Small faces with generally very clear skin. Hopeful. Optimistic. Always doodling or writing little poems or silly limericks. Will help you in any given situation without question. My stepfather.
No matter what choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up…here. I win. So…I win.
I want to talk for a second about how certain Lucifer is he’ll have Sam, no matter what. I want to talk about Sam, his time at Stanford, and how season 6 should have played out.
Sam Winchester got into Stanford with a full ride. Stanford–which turns away valedictorians, class presidents, and varsity captains without batting an eye. Samgot in.
Honestly, Sam’s transcript must have been a mess. The Winchesters moved constantly; Sam had to deal time and again with enrolling in classes that started months ago, taking tests on material he wasn’t around to learn, and then doing it all over again when they moved. I doubt John let him join clubs, sports, any extra curricular activity that might make him vulnerable.
All around him, his classmates were applying for college. They were planning their lives. But Sam? Sam couldn’t go to college. Not with his transcript. Not with his empty extra-curriculars. Not with John as his father. He saw Dean, who became a full-time hunter, and assumed that was the life he was consigned to.
And even if Sam COULD apply somewhere, his transcript would have looked like Frankenstein. It would have been stitched together from dozens of schools, probably riddled with “incompletes” and less-than-stellar grades. And let’s say the community college took him in: Where would he have gotten the money? John didn’t give him enough money for food, no way he’d fund a four-year college education.
And yet…Sam Winchester got into Stanford. Sam Winchester got into one of the choosiest schools in the nation, comparable to Harvard,and he got in on a full ride.
Sam must have known a miracle worker to get a break like that.
…Or he must have known a demon.
17-year-old Sam Winchester hated his life. He had no friends, played no sports. His father kept him out late at night, hunting and killing. Every time he tried to run, he was dragged back by the scalp and berated for trying to leave.
Is it that hard to believe that 17-year-old Sam Winchester, who hated life, hated his dad, hated hunting, and hated knowing he was doomed to hunt the rest of his life, would consider a deal to break him free?
Isn’t ten years of freedom better than a lifetime of hunting?
I’m talking about 17-year-old Sam Winchester making a deal with a demon to get away from his family, and get on the path to something great.
A deal with a demon to get into Stanford
It explains why
Sam was so willing in s5 to throw himself down the pit. He’s selfess, of course, but wouldn’t that be the best plan if he was damned anyway?
Sam was fine drinking demon blood and working with Ruby. If it saved people, who cares what it was doing to an already-damned soul?
Sam cut all ties with John and Dean after going to Stanford. In canon Dean says he and John tried to contact Sam to no avail. Maybe Sam wanted to get so lost that, when he died, John and Dean would never know what he did–they couldn’t be disappointed in him.
Sam was “Azazel’s favorite”
Sam was “the Boy King”
Lucifer was so certain he’d get Sam, one way or another. (whatever details you alter, you’ll always end up…here.“) One way or another, Sam was destined to be Lucifer’s next door neighbor.
Soulless!Sam was so hell bent on keeping his soul out of his body, to the point that he'd kill Bobby. It’s a soul that is sold. It’s a soul that’s damned. Maybe Souless!Sam thought he’d found a loophole–his soul was in hell, and he was topside. Getting his soul back would be like reattaching a gangrenous limb.
And of course Sam would never tell Dean, not if he could avoid it. Because no matter how he breaks it, it comes down to "I sold my soul, because an eternity of damnation was better than a life with you and dad.” He knows Dean dedicated his life to protecting him; how could he tell Dean it was all for nothing?
I liked Season 6, but after Sam got his soul back, I felt like it lacked direction. I would love to see a reboot that brings this in as its main conflict.
Because, at the start of season 1, it was 4 years after Sam got accepted. At the start of season 5, it would have been 8 years. After season 5, there is a one year gap.
Therefore, the start of season 6 marks the 10th and final year of Sam’s contract. Come season 6, Sam’s just about run out of time.
I’m talking a s3-parallel in which Dean tries to save Sam (once his soul’s been restored) from being dragged back under, all the while dealing with the fact that Sam’s shouldered this knowledge for 10 years
…and dealing with the fact that Sam got his soul damned in the first place because he was just that desperate to get away from Dean.
I JUST WANT TO SAY IT’S @shogas BIRTHDAY TODAY AND YOU SHOULD ALL GO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THIS WONDERFUL AMAZING PURE AND SWEET AND OVERALL AWESOME PERSON! I’M SO INCREDIBLY BLESSED TO HAVE MET HER AND I THINK ABOUT THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY SHE MAKES MY LIFE SO MUCH BETTER AND I’M ETERNALLY GRATEFUL FOR THAT SO PLEASE GO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HER AND IF YOU CAN BUY SOMETHING OFF HER WISHLIST SHE TOTALLY DESERVES IT SHE’S SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!