“How can the human eye can see more shades of green than any other color? ‘Cause of predators. Used to be, monkeys we were, right? And in the woods, in the jungle, everything’s green. So in order to not get eaten by panthers and bears and the like, we had to be able to see them, you know, in the grass, and trees and such. Predators” Fargo 1x4: Eating the blame.


this was so fucking funny


I don’t even know where to start. It’s like when you see on the news a boat sinks in India and 300 people drown, and you ask yourself, “Do I know 300 people?” Or one of those African massacres with 12-year-olds with machetes, and they kill - you can’t even - you can’t even count that high. We lost 16 people in 1920 to the flu. I looked it up. In ‘78, six people died in a pharmacy fire, but nothing like this ever. Fargo 1x7: Who shaves the barber?

The Wedding Date

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Summary: Stiles attends Lydia’s wedding only after five years of graduating from college. (Y/N) came as a plus one, but couldn’t stand her date. When the two miserable adults meet; sparks.. and champagne flies.

Word Count:

Prompt: This was originally meant to be the wedding singer but I remembered reading a Stiles (or Dylan) imagine similar to it so I changed it - so if that is a prompt, there you go!

A/N: Requests are open, feel free to request anything from smutty to fluffy *Wink, wink* ***Smut, intoxication etcccc

Originally posted by couplenotes

Stiles stared up at the main table, a beer resting in the palm of his hand. Her grin lit the whole place up, but Stiles couldn’t deny the burning sensation in the pit of his stomach when he realized the smile was for her new husband. He watched the love of his life get married to someone that wasn’t him.

What hurt most, was the Stiles could have said something; she came to him begging him to talk but he just huffed and walked away; running from his problems as always. He was too kind and he wasn’t blind, he knew that Lydia loved Archie just as much as Stiles loved Lydia.

Stiles had his tie undone and released one button to allow some air in, it killed him seeing all his friends congratulating Lydia and sending him smiles of pity. He groaned, chugging down the remains of his bottle before walking towards the free bar.

You stared at the miserable looking man running his hand through his hair as he wandered over to the bar. He stood out like a sore thumb; the only person in the room not screaming cheer for the newly weds. “Want a drink?” Your date, Chuck who was also the groom’s cousin, questioned but you ignored him; eyes fixated on the brown haired beauty.

Chuck groaned and left the table, mumbling profanities. You didn’t know him too well so you didn’t care what he thought; you were here for the free bar - you told him that when he chanced his arm asking you out.

A very cheesy song started playing through the speakers just as the mysterious guy turned in your direction. You weren’t too close to him but you knew he spotted you staring; with a smirk covering his face, he made his way over.

“See something you like?” He chuckled, the words seeming foreign as they left his pink perfect lips. You flickered your teeth with your tongue, sending him a wink, “Maybe.” You crossed your legs and invited him to sit down. “(Y/N).” You raised your hand, which he accepted; caressing it gently.

“Stiles, old… friend of the bride.” He responded, putting the top of the bottle to his lips. “I don’t know either, here as a plus one.” You said, holding up one finger, “And for the free bar.” You teased, taking a sip of your alcoholic beverage. He clicked his bottle against your glass, “Amen to that.”

An awkward silence hung over the pair of you, and within the five minutes; you both finished your drink. Leaning against the bar, you waved the woman over. “Two shots of your finest, please.” You sang, causing Stiles to burst out laughing. “Are you trying to be me drunk, Miss?” He teased, raising his shot glass before downing the drink. You followed his lead, cringing at the taste of the liquor pouring down your throat. “More.” You shouted, slamming the glass on the counter. “Shush,” Stiles giggled, stepping closer to you to try and mumble your laughter. You had your head buried in his chest as you tried to stop, “Two more,” Stiles motioned towards the full glasses, “One…Two….” before he could count to three, you reached up and covered his lips with yours.

Stiles stood shocked for half a second, before gripping your hips pulling you closer. You felt the heat between your lips as he squeezed the fat around your bones. The kiss was rough and desperate; the pair of you wanted nothing more than to rip each others clothes off and feel something you haven’t felt in so long. “Three,” Stiles whispered, pulling away and grabbing your hand; dragging you through the crowd of people.

You got slightly self-conscious seeing people look at you with judgemental eyes and you began to wipe your messed up lipstick off. “Don’t mind what they think,” Stiles said, looking behind him to glance at you. He pushed passed adults and children and exited the crowded room. He pushed you to a corner which was out of few of most people, he crashed his lips to yours again; his hands grabbing your face. You leaned into the kiss, wanting to feel everything; every spark, every ounce of passion. You grabbed his tie, pulling him down further. “Do…Do you have a room?” You gasped, out of breath. He nodded, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Let’s go.” You whispered, biting his bottom lip causing him to groan.

In the elevator, neither of you could keep your hands together. You ran them over his now opened shirt, through his grown out hair and over the waist band of his boxers. You weren’t sure that you were going to make it to the room, but fortunately you did and as soon as he dragged you in, he picked you up and placed you on the bed, leaning over you.

“No way.” You mumbled, pushing him over and straddling him. “Fuck,” Stiles moaned as you nibbled the way down his neck to his chest. Licking his abs, not breaking eye contact. You opened the button to his dress pants, pulling them down and he flung them off.

You removed his boxers, his member hard already. “Shit,” you whispered, licking the top of his dick causing him to moan. You licked up and down the length, before taking him in your mouth fully and popping your head; gagging slightly as it hit the back of your throat. You looked up at him, seeing his head relaxing back and his eyes looking back at you. He ran his hand through your hair, getting a grip and pumping your head; up, down, up, down and he held you there for a second, before allowing you to pull away. You removed your mouth from his dick, saliva covering your mouth.

“Get on there now.” He growled, and you looked at him impressed; it turning you on more that he wanted control. You removed your dress and panties before straddling him again. You brought your lips to his ear, biting harshly; “Ready?” You teased, rubbing your clit along the tip of his cock. He mumbled an inaudible response before you sat down, his cock slowly sliding inside you. “Fuck, (Y/N).” He moaned, his hands squeezing your hips. You started to bounce, feeling confident as he moaned more and louder. “I…I don’t usually do this.” He mumbled, picking you up and dropping you on his dick again. “Shush.” You replied, smirking at him.

He sat up, you still straddling him as he gained more control of his own hips (We’ve all seen the video ;) ). He brought his thumb to your clit, rubbing it gently and still pumped his cock inside you. You let out a moan, feeling the warm sensation run through your whole body. “Oh my god, Stiles.” You moaned, clenching your walls around his cock as you felt yourself reach your high. “Fuck, Stiles.” You screamed, tugging at his hair as you came on top of his dick.

“Don’t stop.” Stiles begged, thrusting into you deeper and deeper as his pace fastened. You duh your fingernails into his chest; causing him to let out one last moan before you felt his cock throb inside you.

You let out a sigh, rolling off of Stiles and onto your back; facing the cream coloured ceiling.

“What a great wedding.” Stiles muttered, wiping the sweat off his forehead. You giggled, and turned into his body feeling the warmth of him.

“Couldn’t agree more.”

anonymous asked:

How does infeudation works in stark lands? Glover and thallarth and cerwyn have lands but the cassels . Are the clans directly loyal to winterfell or they are like the umber, boltons etcccc

Good question!

The Glovers and Tallharts are “masterly” Houses, which makes them equivalent to landed knights - as principal Houses, they hold a lot of land (Deepwood Motte/the Wolfswood and Torrhen’s Square respectively) directly from House Stark, but they don’t have the right of pit and gallows. Instead, on Glover or Tallhart land, justice comes from the Starks themselves (which fits with Northern custom and tradition).

The Cassels and the Pooles are minor, unlanded nobility (i.e, sworn swords or the equivalent of household knights) in customary service to the Starks of Winterfell: the Cassels serve in various military capacities as master-at-arms, captain of the guard, castellan, etc. whereas the Pooles serve as stewards of Winterfell.

The Cerwyns are regular bannermen of the Starks: they have their own land near Winterfell, they have their own castle, they have the title of lords, indeed they even have vassals in the form of House Condon. So technically the Cerwyns have a higher status than the Glovers or Tallharts, even though the Glovers and Tallharts have much more land than they do.

The hill clans are direct vassals of Winterfell, and given the unusual terms of their feudal contract with Winterfell, I’ve argued that they were probably among the first vassals of House Stark. Notably, unlike the Umbers or Boltons (and most of the other Northern houses), there are no records of the hill clans being subjugated in war by the Kings in Winter. 

A Vision of Beauty

Rating: K

Word Count: 1000

Request:  Hiya, hope you’re well! Could you please do a fanfic where MGG or Reid comes to London on their own for some downtime and whilst here sees a girl in a coffee shop/bar and draws her, they get talking and hang out, really hit it off etcccc maybe some smut maybe just some fluffy feelings?

A/N: It’s mentioned this takes place in London. But I didn’t really specify that the reader is from there, just that Reid obviously isn’t, simply because I want everyone to be able to enjoy it. I hope that’s okay. It should definitely work with you being from England though, because there are some comments that would fit in with that.. 

Keep reading

“But both Victoria and Jennette stopped being Ariana’s friend, so think for a second why? She’s not a nice person, that’s why.”


Liz Gilles, Matt Bennett, Leon Thomas, Daniella Monet, Lucy Hale, Ansel Elgort, Becky G, Big Sean, Big Sean’s friend, Mac Miller, Ryan Seacrest, that guy from Cold Play, Avan Jogia, Demi Lovato, Bella Thorne, Katy Perry, Jessie J, Nicki Minaj, Mr and Mrs Obama, Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, Zedd, Drake Bell, Radio Stations, Iggy Azalea, The Fifth Harmony girls, Kim Kardashian etcccc ALL LOVE ARIANA so just because your irrelvant faves don’t like her that doens’t mean she’s not a nice person. FOH there’s been so much bitchassness lately.

ALSO i’m really feeling the theory that because of Jasper’s “a defective pearl” comment we can infer that pearls are not a Unique Gem or whatever and that there are more pearls out there. Due to how pearls are formed, non geologically, and nowadays usually purposefully made and farmed, i’m guessing homeworld gems synthetically mass-manufacture pearls in a manner different from all other gems (aka kindergarten growing) without any regards for any uniqueness or sense of self. Just tons and tons of pearls. And considering the properties of pearls, they’re actually very soft minerals. Pearls are definitely not made to go to battle in a militaristic society like the gems. so they were probably made for general labor and servitude and things like that, depending on the placement of their gem. i’m guessing our Pearl was made for engineering or some other forward-thinking task because of her gem placement.

and it fits in line with all of rose’s Crystal Gems being misfits of some kind. garnet’s clearly taboo fusion choice, amethyst was obviously just abandoned at the kindergarten because she turned out wrong, and pearl simply existing outside of the role she was made for marks her as defective in gem society.