when I was 17 the first girl I’d ever loved told me if her parents found out about how I looked at her she’d be homeless. we cried for 2 days straight, and I told about concrete counter tops. I told her about dark hardwood floors with at least three knit blankets on every couch. Our bedroom facing west because even though I love the sunrise, you look the best in our bed covered in nothing but the deep purple of sunset. The library that would smell like our books had been there longer than our home had been standing on solid foundation, stone, reliable. Sweet girl, I know they say not to make homes out of people but I don’t want anyone else’s dirty dishes on my counter. I don’t want to take the trash out for anyone else at 11pm. You’re the only person I’d race to kill a spider for in the shower. How could you ever be without a home when every time I look at you I’m building ours.
but i don’t look at her
while she informs me of
the latest date her and her boyfriend went on.
“that’s nice.” i whisper. “that’s nice.” i say more to myself.
“i really want you to meet him.”
my blood boils. she really wants me to meet him. the man that get’s to touch her in the places that used to be mine. the man who doesn’t understand that he gets to wake up to the sight of a million stars everyday. “that’s okay, i don’t need too.” my lips tremble and i start to fiddle with my fingers.
“what’s wrong? is it something i said?” she says blindly, then reaches out to grab my shaky hands.
“no.” she could throw a thousand insults at me and i’d still remain calm. she could spit on my grave and my soul would still be at peace. but the thought of her with somebody else is one that cause volcanoes to erupt in the pit of my stomach, fires to start within the balls of my fists and tsunami’s to form in the back of my eyes. “i’d love to.” we all know i wouldn’t. but that’s the closest i’ll ever be to saying ‘i love you’ to her, so i squeeze her hand in mine and let it go, picking up my phone to divert the attention from me. i miss her. i want her. but god, i need her.
Akatsuki becomes a mercenary group for hire, as they did in Road to Ninja. This is more appropriately named the “everybody comes back to life and somehow things work out AU”… but as promised, 10 Akatsuki members in the timeline of The Last! Designing is fun (esp the village flak jackets) (・∀・)
See more extensive character/AU details below the cut!:
One day you will meet a girl who will treat you with such fire and longing you won’t know what to do with it all. Someday her soul will bump right into yours, and lightning. This girl will wake you. She will shake you from your dull, chaotic universe and punch cracks in the wall until her sweet radiation can push through. You will bloom for her, emanation upon emanation of need, of down on your knees desire, of kneeling beneath star and moon, of painstaking prayer, of please-let-me-have-her-my-god-let-me-have-her. Your want will be big and your heart will be bigger, and all the planets will see it. See the way you swell for her; your all, your everything. One day this girl will love you and you will love her back, in dizzy, incomparable ways. She will carry you out of the mouth of your own longing and show you a new way, so together you can build another world, one where there is safety, where this is a story of stardust not gunpowder, where you can hold each other without fear of who might be watching. One day she will kiss you at exactly the right time, in exactly the right way, and your blood will turn to light. She’ll learn your volcanic places and adore them, make you burst and burst until you can’t speak, until you cry out, reaching for her, calling on angels. Words won’t be enough and you’ll be okay with that. She will take your face in her hands and never let you forget for an instant that you’re wanted. All your hidden aching bared for her warm eyes, all that despair turned quiet.
It will make you weep. It will make you unbreakable.
wanna hear how shitty the juvi i went to was when I was a kid, and it wasn’t even a bad juvi. lmao okay so first things first, its strange fucking adults who watch you, a minor shower, pee, etc. pretty much every time you do it.
they blasted music all night, loud music, all night, so the workers wouldnt get “bored” your cell was single and had a light on at all hours of the day, so you have to try and sleep with a bright light on you all the time, if you don’t wake up up at 6am to eat they take away your bed padding and pillow from you until you wake up at the right time, so you have to sleep on concrete.
if you don’t do what they tell you to do [like wake up at 6am after having music and bright light blasted at you all night] they’ll take away your only solace: books. You’re locked in a cell by yourself for the majority of the time you’re there.
You didn’t have a roommate, so you were just alone, for the majority of the day with nothing to do. It was torture, I don’t care what you say, children don’t deserve this, and I shouldn’t have even been sent to juvi in the first place because it literally wasn’t even my doing that got me there I had to take the fall for someone else the first time, and so on.
They torture children in juvi, don’t fucking think they don’t, they absolutely do.