And the video is basically about H sending a mini me to fight on his behalf, and feigning ignorance in front of everyone but smirking to himself in the end. Kinda like how he sent RBB, another mini me that fought quite a few battles for him. 🤷♀️
He’d roll out of bed all blurry eyed, jump in the shower (when he actually had enough time), grab clothes from his closet and/or used/dirty clothes pile (hey, his well-worn comfy AoL shirt was only worn once this week and he liked it so.. it was his go-to staple again). He’d smash his “B” cap down over his head with his dripping wet curls fanning out from the sides, trim his fledgling goatee and stache (if he had the time - else, it would have to way for the weekend), slip his trench coat duster on and sloppily half-lace his combat boots all the way up in hurry. He’d bound down the steps to the kitchen and sometimes Sue would have made her big grown Sunshine Boy a hearty omelette or some french toast which would be waiting for him on the kitchen counter. Sometimes Dad would be reading the newspaper..the sport section. They’d chat about that. He’d wolf everything down while guzzling some oj. If he was in a big hurry, he’d say he was going to go get breakfast on the way with friends. Which basically meant doing a donut and soda pop run at King Soopers located nearby the school. He’d run back upstairs once more and quickly brush his teeth (if he had time). Out the door and then speeding down the drive in his Beamer with 10 min (Dyl ETA 5 min) to get to South Wadsworth Blvd., Littleton, and then on his way to CHS (10 min (again 5 for Dyl) and about 15-20 min to get to the AMF Bellevue Bowling Lanes on South Federal (I happen to know that it ain’t all that conveniently close to CHS). His curls would be drying in the breeze of the half-cranked down windows while his music was blaring and his subwoofers reverberating his tiny black car. Just another ‘Day in the Life’ of Dylan Klebold doing his weekly, monotonous Morning Ritual. Some were better than others - especially if he had some good company with him….
Part one of my deaged Tim fic. Let me know if you want to see anything specific from this!
Jason had received a distress
signal from Batman, who had been fighting against some magical being who was
terrorizing the people of Gotham.
“Hood, I need you down at the
Jason growled, “Though Nightwing
and Red Robin were already there”
“They are, but something …
happened to Red Robin”
Jason froze and immediately turned
to grapple his way across the city. He no longer hated Tim, he had even started
to enjoy they third Robins company.
“I’m on my way, B. ETA 5 minutes”
There was no reply, but by the
time Jason arrived the fight was over. The man who had been causing all of the
problems had been restrained and his magical book, where his power stemmed
from, had been taken away.
“You missed all the fun,
Littlewing” Dick called
But Jason wasn’t paying attention
to Dick, or even to the wizard, his eyes were focused on Bruce, or more accurately
the small squirming bundle that he was holding.
“Is that …” Jason whispered
“Yes, this is Red Robin. He was
hit with one of the spells from the book”
Tim couldn’t have been more than
two, he looked so small, dwarfed by his costume and Bruce’s large size.
Suddenly big blue eyes opened and looked right at Jason, “Jay! Jay!” the
toddler lunged out of Bruce’s arms and into Jason’s.
“He knows who we are?” Jason
looked at Bruce as Tim snuggled into his armored chest, babbling quietly to the
“You are surprisingly good with
kids, Jason” Dick said, walking to stand beside him. He tried to take Tim from
Jason but as soon as Dick touched him Tim started to cry. Tim gripped Jason’s
leather jacket, letting out high pitched wails, “nononononon” he sobbed.
Jason bounced the baby gently in
his arms, using one hand to cup the back of Tim’s head and tuck him into Jason’s
neck, “Shh, shh, Timmy, it’s okay, you can stay with me if that’s what you want”
Jason continues bounce Tim gently as he glared at Dick, “Leave him alone right
now Dickie, he might go to you in a bit, but not right now” suddenly Jason
smiles, “I guess we know who’s the favorite big brother now huh Bluebird?”
Dick pouts and goes over to where
Damian is standing with the unconscious wizard. Dick wraps his arms around
Damian and pouts at where his other two brothers are, “Don’t be insulted,
Grayson. Drakes tastes have always been subpar”
“Don’t make fun of Tim when he
can’t defend himself, Dami”
“We need to go back to the cave,
see if we can turn Red Robin back into his adult self”
Jason just snorts, “The kids isn’t
even an adult yet, he’s only 17”
Bruce sighs, “Fine then, we will
turn him back into his usual teenage self”
Jason glanced down at the
toddler, who had fallen asleep against his shoulder. “We can run tests tonight,
to make sure that he is healthy, but the cure can wait until tomorrow, the poor
kid is exhausted”
At first Bruce was against it,
but seeing one of his sons looks so young and innocent made his cave, the baby
really did need to sleep.
Once everyone gets back to the
cave, Dick and Damian hit the showers and head up to the manor to sleep and
Jason carefully puts Tim in a playpen that Alfred had brought down to the cave
for when Bruce did the scans. Tim didn’t even stir all through the scans and
tests. However as soon as Jason says that he is about to leave, Tim scrambles
up in the playpen and starts yelling, “Jay! Jay no go! Jay stay!”
Bruce looked incredulously over
at the two year old, “It looks like you are staying the night”
Jason snorts, “No way in hell am
I staying here”
Bruce stiffens, “Why not?”
“No way in hell am I sleeping in
my armor. I’m going home”
Tim’s screaming just got even
louder when Jason begins to make his way over to his bike. Jason pauses,
waiting to see if Bruce will go to Tim. Tim continues to cry for another five
minutes. As each minute passes Jason grows more tense. Eventually it seems like
Tim just gives up and his cries turn into whimpers as he lays back down, “Jay.
Jay … help Jay” he whispers.
Jason can’t take it anymore, “God
fucking damn it Bruce! Did you not hear him crying?!”
Bruce barely glances up from the
computer, “He didn’t need anything, and he was perfectly fine”
“Perfectly fine, right, when I
child is screaming it means that they are perfectly fucking fine!!”
Jason scoops Tim up from out of
the bed, “I’m here Timmy, I’m here. I think” Jason says glaring at Bruce, “that
you should come with me tonight”
Tim sniffles and grips Jason’s
jacket, “Go with you, Jay.”
“I’m so sorry that I tries to
leave, that I thought Bruce could be trusted to take care of you”
“I do believe, Master Jason, that
it would be best for you to take Master Tim with you. I have already packed a
spare playpen, toys, blankets, diapers, cloths and a car seat in one of Master
“You are taking his side on this,
“Indeed I am, Master Bruce, you
are unfortunately not qualified to care for someone as young as Master Tim currently
“And Jason is?!”
“Jason seems to be more adequate
in responding to Master Tim’s needs they you have displayed” Alfred said
shortly, “I expect you to bring Master Tim back to the manor this weekend,
“Sure Alfie, I think Timmy and I
can do that, huh baby?”
“Yeah, go night-night now Jay”
murmured a sleepy Tim
Jason kissed the top of Tim’s
head gently. He was surprised at just how fast he had grown attached to this
version of his little brother. “Sure, go to sleep Timmy, we are gonna go home
Tim nodded and fell back asleep
before Jason was even back in the manor. He didn’t stir when he was put in the
car, when Jason murmured softly to Alfred about a few childcare questions, or
even when Jason took him out of the car seat and brought him up to the
apartment. Jason laid Tim down on the bed, building a wall of pillow up so he wouldn’t
fall off the bed. Jason went to take a quick shower, not wanting to let Tim out
of his sight for very long. Once he was done he laid down beside Tim, on his
side, watching the toddler sleep. The soft sounds of Tim sleeping soon lulled
Jason into a peaceful slumber.
Being woken up at 8:00 AM by an
excited two year old was not how Jason wanted to wake up, especially not that
early. Jason had only gotten about 4 hours of sleep before he was woken up
“Jay! Hungry!” Tim yelled, gently
smacking Jason’s face with one little hand.
“Alright Timmy, alright. Let’s
get you changed and then we can eat breakfast”
Thankfully the day went by
quickly, looking after an excited 2 year old was a lot of work but seeing that
little grin and hearing those high pitched giggles made it all worth it.
However around dinner time Jason realized that he wouldn’t be able to go on
patrol while looking after a toddler. Tim couldn’t be left alone for five
minutes, much less several hours. What if he woke up in the middle of the night
and needed someone.
Jason rested his head on his hand
and watched Tim finish eating his spaghetti, “I’m gonna have to find you a
sitter, aren’t I Timmy?”
The toddler didn’t answer, too
engrossed in his food to pay Jason much attention. Jason pulls out his phone
and snaps quick picture, he had been taking pictures of Tim and himself all
day, sending them to Alfred. Jason pulls up his search engine and begins to
look up overnight childcare services. Surprisingly he finds one not very far
from his apartment, it opens at 7:00 PM and keeps kids until 7:00 AM at the
latest. That is perfect for what Jason has planned. He will be able to drop Tim
off at about 10:00 PM and pick him up at 7:00 AM. Jason would be able to patrol
and he would have the opportunity to get a few hours of sleep. Hopefully Tim
wouldn’t put up too much of a fuss at being dropped off, hopefully he would
sleep almost the whole time. Jason makes up his mind to bring Tim to the
daycare tonight, not to leave him, but just so he can meet the childcare personnel,
look at their qualifications, do back ground round checks, and see how they
interact with the kids.
The first thing that Jason
notices about this place is that it is huge. There are several rooms for
children of different ages. Separate rooms for kids who wanted to sleep, watch
movies, and play. The first person that Jason was introduced to was a woman
named Y/N. She was the one who watched over the children who were Tim’s age.
She was funny and immediately focused her attention on making Tim feel comfortable,
on getting him to play with the toys and the other kids. Once he was distracted
she walked up to Jason and stood next to him while he watched Tim play.
“He is a very sweet boy” she
“Yeah he is, he took to you
Y/N grins, “I have to be really
good with kids if I want to be good at my job. I love kids, don’t have any of
my own yet, but at least when I do, I will know how to take care of them”
Tim came running over with a
Batman toy, running right up to Jason and showing it to him, “Look Jay! Look”
“I see! That’s a very nice toy”
Tim shyly turns to Y/N and holds
out the toy. She is quick to kneel down so she is eye level with the toddler, “Do
you like Batman, pumpkin?”
Tim nods shyly. She smiles and
pulls out a keychain, “My favorite is the Robins”
Tim immediately lights up,
babbling about how cool Robin is, and just talking. Suddenly he raises his arms
at her, “Up, Y/N, up!”
She smiles softly and leans down
scooping up Tim. As Jason watches he can’t help but think how good they look
together, how perfectly this stranger would fit into their lives.
As he hears Tim let out a high
pitched giggle and hug Y/N Jason makes up his mind. This will definitely be the
place where he drops Tim off, and hopefully he will get to know Y/N better.
Maybe Jason will be able to build his own family, maybe he will be able to find
A/N: Ello lovelies! Yes I have changed to a Teen Wolf blog because I just haven’t been adoring Riverdale as much lately and was loosing inspiration for the characters. Hope you like my first Liam imagine! Don’t forget to request!!
“All eyes are up.” Agent Coulson said over the coms.
“Sat cams are good.” Another agent confirmed. “The target is in bound, ETA 5 minutes. ”
“Mission is a go. I repeat, you are green to go.” Agent May said. “ intercept and apprehend Johann Schmidt and his accomplice Arnim Zola. Secure the device and remember this mission is covert. ”
Steve and Bucky glance at each other from the helicopter pad and turn around making their way back inside to the party.
Bucky smirked and saw the women by the bar, “I’ve got some action.”
Both men make their way over to the women. “Hi my name is Xenia.” The Russian brunette smiled.
“Pleased to meet you, I’m Steve.” He smiled politely.
“Bucky.” He smirked and checked out the beautiful red head and kissed her hand.
“So what brings you to Hong Kong?” The red head asked. “Business or pleasure?” She smirked teasingly.
“Pleasure.” Bucky smirked.
“Business.” Steve interrupted.
“A little bit of both.” Bucky shrugged.
“What kind of business are you in?” Xenia asked.
“I am a crew ship captain of a very large vessel.” Bucky smirked. Double meaning behind his words. “My small friend here is a kick ass travel agent.”
Steve chuckled and nodded.
“Permission to come aboard captain?” The redhead bit her lip.
Before Bucky could answer, Steve placed his hand on his shoulder, “and on that note, Will you excuse us, ladies, because we do actually have some work to do.”
“No we don’t.” Bucky shrugs.
“Yes, we do.” Steve pats his shoulder and walks off.
Bucky rolls his eyes but he freezes when he notices who just landed In the helicopter. “Yes we do.” He groaned.
Steve blended among the crowd as he kept watch. Bucky stood by the bar as he surveyed the men.
“That’s a lovely suit.” A woman by the bar compliments Bucky.
He smirked, “Well, it is Bruce Banner’s finest.” He said as the men walked past him.
After a while Coulson spoke over the coms, “shots fired. I repeat men down.”
“Alright, here we go.” Bucky spoke quietly into the coms.
Steve nodded and turned just in time to reach for one of the bodyguards gun and used him as a shield.
Bucky did the same with the second bodyguard but knocked him out. The crowd gasped.
Johann Schmidt caught a glimpse in the mirror and turned around shooting his gun into the air causing the crowd to run screaming before he was escorted out by more of his guards.
Steve and Bucky hid behind the bodyguard and walked forward towards the helicopter.
More shots were fired and the bodyguard went down and Steve continues firing from behind him taking down more of his men.
Bucky shot at the man with the briefcases but missed. Steve shot at the helicopter and the pilot, taking him out and cursing when he realized he was out of ammo. “Mag! I need a mag!” He yelled to Bucky who ran over to him and handed him more ammo.
Bucky took out another man while Steve ran towards the helicopter shooting the four men standing infront of it. He ran up to the helicopter and held onto the top of it and swung his legs kicking Zola out of it making him drop the briefcase and the money spill out.
Steve and Zola fought back and forth meanwhile Bucky was taking care of the men inside.
Steve punched Zola and lifted him up before slamming him down into the floor. Schmidt runs out of the helicopter and kicks Steve twice making him fall back and roll towards the edge of the building. He slips down and hangs off the ledge.
Bucky notices and freezes.
“Shoot him.” Schmidt hands Zola the gun before making sure his parachute is secure and jumping off the side of the building.
Bucky yells and shoots another bodyguard and tackles the last one, “Steve!” He yelled as he knocked out the last man and ran over grabbing Zola causing him to drop the second briefcase which Steve catches. “Shit.” He curses as he hangs from one hand.
Bucky pulls Zola’s parachute off and Zola loses his balance and palls off of the skyscraper landing on top of a car.
Bucky helps Steve up and they pant looking down at the mess that went down.
Schmidt lands on the ground safely and runs over to Zola groaning. He notices a piece of fabric in his hand and realizes it’s part of Bucky’s suit. He smirks and runs away with it.
Bucky and Steve glance at each other. “Schmidt is not going to be happy.” Bucky said.
“I’m more concerned about our boss.” Steve cringed.
“Definitely.” Bucky nodded and started to walk back into the building, “hey, do you think those girls are still here? ”
Steve scoffed and shook his head.
Back at the CIA field office.
Steve and Bucky had just walked into the building when they heard that famiar voice. “Steve! Bucky!”
They both looked up terrified.
Nick fury stood on the second floor with a glare so heated it could set the room on fire. “get your asses up here now!”
They both scurried upstairs.
“Six men in the morgue, a body in the middle of the street!” He swore.
Steve cut in, “Yes, but to be fair…we did manage to-”
“Shut up.” Fury pointed.
“To- uh that’s me shutting up, right now..” he looked down at his lap.
“The mission parameters of the Hydra case were clearly indicated to be covert.” He slammed a folder into the table of a picture of Zola on top of the car. “Thanks to you two geniuses, Schmidt will be seeking revenge for Zola’s death. “He crossed his arms. “You boys are grounded.”
Bucky chuckled nervously, “uh what?”
“Grounded?” Steve raised a brow surprised.
Later Steve and Bucky were both sitting behind two boring desks across from each other. Bucky groaned and laid his head on the table as he tapped his pencil on the desk repeatedly.
Steve twirled his gun around on the desk and watched it spin bored out of his mind.
A few hours later Bucky had invited Steve to his nana’s anniversary party. They were both seated at a table away from the crowd.
“Thanks for having me over to your Nana’s.” Steve smiled at Bucky.
“Are you kidding me? You’re my best friend. We’re family.” Bucky grins and takes a bite of the cake. “Oh my god. This is gluten free?” He looked down at the cake amazed. “Here have a taste.” He offered Steve.
“Hm.” Steve shrugged and reached for the fork.
“Why the heck are you two sitting over here all by yourselves?” Nana walked over. “you’re not gonna make me any great grandbabies this way.”
“it is a family gathering Nana I don’t think you want us making great grandbabies…” he trailed off.
“To be fair, I have already provided you with a wonderful great grandchild. "Steve says.
"Yeah, but that doesn’t count because you screwed it all up with Peggy. ” nana sassed.
Steve chuckled, “ouch.” He looked down at his plate.
Grandpa walked over and took nana’s hand. “Come on darling.” He kissed her softly. “Let’s show these kids how it’s done, huh?” Steve smiled softly wishing he had that type of love.
They waved and walked off to the dance floor.
“It’s kinda gross when they kiss.” Bucky mentioned and glanced at Steve who was still watching the couples dancing. “Hey, Mr. Deep-in-thought. You wanna talk about it?”
“Uh I was just- that kind of thing is lovely isn’t it?” He motioned to his grandparents. “It’s really lovely.”
“What’s lovely?” Bucky glanced at them.
“Well, I love the way that they look into each others eyes like that. ” he said dreamily.
“I’m pretty sure that’s the cataracts.” Bucky inquired.
“Have you- okay. You asked me a serious question didn’t you?” Steve sat up and looked at Bucky.
“Yeah?” Bucky furrows his brows.
“So you want a serious answer?” Steve asked.
“Yeah.” He said with a mouthful of cake. Steve sighed. “Oh you want me to put the cake down?” Bucky mumbled.
“Yes please.” Steve rolled his eyes.
He sets it on the table. “Cake is down. Talk to me.” He watched Steve.
“Well seriously though, man chat. Okay?” Steve sighed.
“I trust you. I know you’d do anything for me. You’d take a bullet for me and so would I, you know that right?” He asked.
“yeah of course.”
“Now,” Steve leans forward. “All of that…”
“Yes?” Bucky urges him to get to the point.
“Can you imagine what that would be like to share with a woman? ” steve looks over to the crowd if people.
“No..” Bucky shakes his head looking at Steve blankly.
Steve sighs, “okay. Thank you.” He gives up.
Bucky looks at Steve like he’s crazy. “No.” He just repeats.
Insurrection in progress+++ Target : Azoria+++ Designation : Forge World + Death World (M39)+++ Strategic Value : Absolute+++
Hive-cities 01, 04, 06, 07, 11 & 12 : telemetry status : disconnected+++ Manufactorums α to γ compromised+++ Damage to industrial areas substantial+++ Industrial output reduced by 80%+++
+++Incoming Transmission Log+++
-Uprising in progress. Recommended course of action? -Exterminatus? -Negative, strategic value : absolute. -Liberation Fleet? -Approved. ETA closest elements 5-35 days. -Negative, elements unfit for Death-World operations. -Requesting Specialised Area Denial Force. -Affirmative. Executing Request Order : Astra Militarum Death Korps of Krieg & Cadian Hostile Environment Regiments. -Requesting Adeptus Astartes. Industrial zones current toxicity : extreme. -Negative. Astartes unavailable. Currently engaged on Great Rift fronts. -Adeptus Mechanicus? -Affirmative. Order sent. AdMech will oversee salvage of tech and industries. -ETA task force? -Variable.
Twelve days of Christmas, Kaishin version. Kaito (or KID) is courting Shinichi. Everyone realizes this, Shinichi doesn't.
This took me a while to get right, so I hope you like it! Under the readmore as always!
On the first day of December, Shinichi attended one of Kaitou Kid’s heists. Everything was the same as always, which was to say unpredictable and exhilirating. Shinichi was (quitely) having a great time.
When he cornered Kid on the rooftop, Hakuba following hot on his heels, Kid bowed neatly and–with a pop, as if the air were being displaced–presented him with a bouquet that appeared in his hands.
At a glance, there were about a dozen red roses.
Confused, Shinichi hesitantly accepted them, holding them a little away from himself in case they were booby trapped.
Upon noticing, Kid laughed, “They won’t bite you, detective. They’re a gift from me to you. And seeing as you aren’t Hakuba, you have nothing to fear from me.”
“Oh?” Shinichi considered the bouquet; it seemed totally normal. “Any particular reason for them?”
Kid shrugged, a mysterious smile on his face. “Who can say, detective? Now, if you’ll excuse me, please send my regards to Inspector Nakamori.“ Kid tossed the jewel to him, forcing Shinichi to fumble and focus on his hands to avoid dropping it or his flowers.
Hey guess what, I finally had enough money on my account to order “It Devours!” the physical book! I’m going to quote and reference and skim like you wouldn’t believe. ETA: In 5-7 weekdays. ETA2: I just got an email that says it will be here in TWO WEEKS. I wish I could just buy it at a local bookstore. But eventually, one day, I will have the book.
Even thought the french interviews may not be one of the major media outlets I think its really important harry has made sure to rectify the misconceptions of the RS article - he clearly says it's his album and its not about a woman. while i get that we hate the larries thinking and are often on the opposite side of the argument, as a fan of spoken word as opposed to print media I think harry making sure to clarify this is really important.
Thanks for the heads up, anon! Although it kind of seems like you’re implying that being opposed to Larrie means people don’t understand how print media can be taken out of context or difficult to interpret, which is not accurate - although it does mean understanding what is a credible source and unlikely to fabricate quotes.
I also don’t find Harry’s clarification particularly relevant to anything I disagree with Larries about. He clarifies that the album doesn’t “revolve around a woman,” he’s not clarifying that he never had important relationships with women or saying he was never inspired by those relationships. Having seen other quotes from Harry about the album, I had a sense of the album as being very personal and about Harry himself anyway. So I just sort of took the rolling stone quote to mean that there was a relationship with a woman that was important to him while he was working on it, and maybe informed some of it.
But I do see how it could easily be interpreted to mean “the album mainly is about a woman” and indeed, I agree with you that it’s important not to jump to conclusions and that spoken interviews - especially those where we see the full context - are better sources than written.
Here’s the new quote (which I only found because i poked at Harry blogs, I don’t think there’s a video so this is still out of context, but it seems fairly clear. Here’s a general summary, apparently this is in response to a question about the RS quote):
The inspiration for an album, and the impact of important relationships on the album, these are all complicated and personal topics so there’s nothing sinister about Harry feeling like he didn’t accurately express himself and wanting to clarify. Harry’s spoken multiple times about liking to keep art open to personal interpretation, so it doesn’t surprise me that he didn’t want people listening to the album with a particular woman in mind already.
My rough translation of the Q: “You said in Rolling Stone that a large part of your album was inspired by a woman. OH?”
Harry: Um… No, I think - honestly, I think the album is much more about me than it is about anyone else. I think if i said the album’s about a woman, it kind of… I don’t know. I put a lot of work into it, so I don’t feel like it revolves around a woman. I feel like it’s a lot about me and things that I (*inaudible* [ETA 2: apparently the translator says this is “didn’t say before” ty!!])… Yeah, it’s more about me than about anyone else.
So I think we’ve all learned yet another valuable lesson about accepting what we see in print! I thought the quote as presented on tumblr was reasonably clear, but the full context makes it even more obvious that he was not denying the presence of a woman in his life but just clarifying what he saw as the core of the album.
I met you on Sunday, the first day of my work week. It was early afternoon, my preceptor and I were all caught up with tasks and charting when they called the code overhead. “Code Blue ER ETA 5 minutes.” The charge nurse started to head down to help (they are required to go to all codes in the hospital to help).
“Why don’t you go down with her?” My preceptor suggested. “We’re not doing anything.”
I’m always down for a field trip to break up the day. When we got to the ER the charge nurse assigned everyone a job for the code, she had no job for me and decided that I would be in the way. So I was relegated to the hallway until I was needed.
I was standing across from the ambulance bay doors when you were rolled in on the EMS stretcher. Someone was doing chest compressions as you were rolled into the ER. The brief glimpse I got of you was not promising, you didn’t look good. I found out later that you’d been out with friends and started complaining of some heartburn. You got out of the car to get some air and you went down. 911 was called, but you were down over 5 minutes before they got there.
You had no pulse when the paramedics got to you. You were found to be in PEA, they began CPR and you got a couple doses of Epi. Four members of your family came in through the ambulance doors a few minutes after you and they were lead away by the house supervisor to a private room.
Within a minute of getting into our ER room a pulse was detected and we started the hypothermia protocol. This is when I got involved. I was sent for the pads for our temperature management system. This protocol is started in an attempt to preserve brain function in patients that do not regain consciousness after coding. I entered the room and I saw you laying there, tubes had been inserted into your throat, bladder, and veins. You didn’t move at all when we touched you. The ER doc prepared to insert a central line into your neck while we applied the pads and started the cooling process. I looked up and noted out loud that you’d gone into a junctional rhythm. Your heart rate was in the 40s and your blood pressure was dropping too. I helped hang a bolus and get the pressor ready to go.
At that point my charge nurse motioned for me to follow her. Our work with you at this point was done. You’d be coming up to the ICU shortly and would be another nurse’s responsibility.
The rest of the day passed, I took care of my patient and helped reintubate our other patient.
When I came back a day later, we were assigned your room. The news wasn’t good. Your CT yesterday showed a severe anoxic brain injury. The EEG over night showed no seizures, but it also didn’t show any other activity. The doctors ordered an MRI to confirm what the CT showed… which it did.
Your neuro assessment was unchanged since you’d arrived even after you’d been rewarmed. GCS of 3-6. Pupils unequal and sometimes reacting to light. Cough and gag reflexes come and go. No reaction to pain or spontaneous movement. You’re not breathing on your own, the ventilator is doing all the work for you.
Your daughter and one of your siblings arrive later that morning. Your daughter asked me lots of questions and I answered honestly. She apologized for all her questions and I assured her it was ok. The crit care doctor came in and was bluntly honest with her. The chances of you getting better are extremely slim. Your daughter is realistic and understands that this is it. You have a large family and she wants everyone that wants to to have a chance to visit, so the plan is made to withdraw care tomorrow afternoon.
Your family spends the next hour in your room on the phone and crying. I bring them tissues and continue to care for you. As your family looks like they’re getting ready to leave, I approach your daughter and ask her if anything were to happen over night if she would want us to try to bring you back (it seems silly to ask, but I had to just in case). She says no and you are made DNR. We also minimize treatment, discontinuing antibiotics and your insulin gtt. No longer are we in life-saving mode, we are just giving your family a bit more time to say goodbye.
The next morning there’s a blizzard… your favorite kind of weather, I’m told later. We care for you all morning while waiting for your family to arrive. It is late morning before your daughter finally makes it in. She’s pregnant with your second grandchild. You were so excited for your first grandson, she tells me. I give your family some time alone to say goodbye after they confirm with the doctor that we are withdrawing care.
Your family leaves, they’ve decided that they don’t want to be here for the end. It’s ok, I’ll be here. After coordinating with the RT, we begin. I give you large boluses of Fentanyl and Versed, per the doctor’s instruction, and the RT extubates you. Nothing happens. Within a minute your SATs begin to drop. You don’t appear to be breathing at all. I hold your hand and watch the monitor, pausing alarms whenever they go off. It takes several minutes, but your heart rate finally begins to slow. Your SATs are in the 20s and soon so is your heart rate. The SAT no longer registers, so I turn it off so it won’t alarm. Your lips and fingers are grey. I listen. There is no heartbeat, despite the ugly QRSs that continue to blip across the screen. You’re in PEA. My preceptor listens too and confirms. We call time of death.
I’m sorry we had to meet like this. Though, truthfully, I’m not sure I ever met you. I think you were probably gone before you were even rolled into the ER. I’m sorry you’ll never get to meet your grandson and that your family is going to be without you. It’s an awful situation. I am grateful you have such a loving family that did not make us torture your body with modern medicine for way longer than necessary hoping for a miracle.
This was my first patient death in the ICU, but it will not be the last. It is the nature of the ICU beast.
Trees weren’t a Thing in Midgar because of the messed up lifestream there. Imports, even artificial ones, took ridiculous amounts of gil so putting up a Yule Tree wasn’t a common tradition for Midgarian families. It was even much less so for a lone infantryman surviving paycheck to paycheck. When the others caught Cloud staring wistfully at a photo of himself with his mother in front of one, they hatched a plan.