estefanie

submitted by Dot Estefani

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The Asset (8/?)

Summary: The past two years have been the best years of Y/N’s life, but when her boyfriend’s, Bucky, past comes after her nothing will ever be the same.

A/N: I’m so sorry I am barely posting this. I thought I had scheduled it to go up at 5, but I never noticed that I put it for the 11th not the 10th. In other news I just spent $400 on an ice cooler… If my dad doesn’t like what I got him for father’s day I swear… And while I have you here don’t forget to check out mine and Estefany’s Youtube vid X

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

2 Years Ago

“No,” I frowned crossing my arms in front of me. “I’m not going to do that.”

“Just try it please,” Bucky sighed.

We were sitting on the couch of my living room after coming a nice picnic at the park Bucky had surprised me with. It was one of the things on my bucket list, to have a picnic date.

“I already told you I don’t like guns,” I tell him. “And I have no plans of ever firing one.”

This debate had been going of for about a week now. Apparently there was a higher risk of my life being in danger once my relationship with Bucky become public. I understood that there were going to be people who could use me to get to Bucky, but I didn’t see how me using a gun was the solution to this.

“I am not completely defenseless Bucky,” I sigh. “I have a bat.”

“And I’m sure you know how to do some damage with it, but please at least think about it more,” Bucky sighed. “Or maybe let Nat or Sharron give you a lesson or two on self-defense.”

“Fine,” I sighed. “I’ll consider it.”

“Thank you.”

“Changing the subject,” I say turning to face him directly. “Have you asked Dr. Banner for that favor for me?”

“I did,” Bucky smiled. “He said Dr. Cho will be visiting the tower next weekend, and that you can meet her while she is at his lab. And Bruce said you don’t have to call him Dr. Banner. He said you are his friend and can call him Bruce.”

A big smile spreads across my lips and I lean forward wrapping my arms tightly around Bucky. I pull away just enough to cover his face in kisses saying “thank you” between each kiss.

“The med students are going to be so jealous when I tell them I get to meet Dr. Helen Cho,” I smile. “I can picture them now. And if I can get a selfie with both Bruce and Dr. Cho I will have bragging rights for the rest of the semester.”

“And your selfie with the Avengers didn’t do that for you,” he laughs.

“These are future doctor we are talking about Buck,” I laugh. “Our celebrities are those who already have that title.”

“What about when you told them you were dating an Avenger,” Bucky asks.

I open my mouth to answer him, but close it before I say anything.

“You did tell them about me, didn’t you,” he frowns.

“Of course I did,” I tell him. “I just maybe didn’t tell them everything.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means they don’t know you are The Winter Soldier,” I confess. “They only know about you, my boyfriend James who works for the government.”

“Are you…are you ashamed to tell them who I am because of my past,” Bucky asks. The look in his eyes was one of rejection and made me feel guilty.

“Don’t ever think that,” I tell him. “I never have been and never will be ashamed to tell people who you are because of your past.”

Bucky stays quiet as he waits for me to tell him why I lied to my classmates.

“I didn’t tell them not because of your past, but because of your present,” I admit. “The Avengers in their own right are celebrities, and if word got around that I was dating one I would become surrounded by people trying to get close to me to get to you and the rest of the team.”

Bucky was still frowning after I explained to him my situation.

“Please believe me,” I tell him. “That is the only reason I haven’t told anyone.”

“It’s not that,” Bucky frowns. “You haven’t been on the internet recently, have you?”

“No,” I say confused. “Why?”

“Well Tony had the brilliant idea that the Avengers needed to be more active on social media, keeping up our image for publicity and things like that, and yesterday an image of us was published.”

My eyes widen as I reach for my phone logging online and looking up the Avengers. Sure enough there was an Instagram page for the team and the most recent image was of Bucky and me.

We were curled up asleep on the sofa at the Avengers tower. Bucky had taken me to a carnival to mark off another number on my bucket list and won me the largest teddy bear they had at one of the games. I had wanted to argue that he was cheating since he was trained in everything, but I really wanted that teddy bear. My head was resting on Bucky’s chest, hand gripping the front of his shirt and a contempt smile on my lips. Bucky was holding me close with his arm around me and his metal fingers intertwined with my free hand. The large bear was on the ground where it had fallen from my lap. We were exhausted from be out in the sun all day and getting on all the rides, but in the picture we looked happy and peaceful.

The caption read “My new otp – Nat”

When I saw the amount of likes on the image my heart dropped. There was no way none of the med students had seen this by now.

“And I thought Sharron was bad,” I mumble. “I guess this means I will have a lot of explaining to do on Monday.”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky frowns. “If I knew this was your situation I would have told her to take it down the second she posted it.”

“No,” I sigh, “it’s fine. They would have found out I was dating an Avenger sooner or later. I just would have preferred it to be later. Like after college later.”

“You still see us together two years from now,” Bucky smiles.

“Is it to early in the relationship to say yes,” I ask sheepishly.

Bucky reaches for me and pulls me to sit on his lap straddling him before pulling me down for a deep passion filled kiss. “Not at all,” he smiles against my lips when we pull away for air.  

Part 9

Sinto muito

Para Estefani 

Sinto muito ter invadido sua casa
Estava bêbado e amanhecido e com aquela camiseta preta da banda Joy Division que odeia tanto
Desespero
Saudade
Sinto muito por ter comido sua melhor amiga e estragado o dia dos namorados no rio de janeiro
Sinto muito por ter quebrado os dentes e abandoná-la naquele hotel do centro
Aqui dentro está tão frio
Não para de ventar e uivar teu nome
Sinto muito por não ter comprado os azulejos e a pia do banheiro
Por ter gastado tudo com drogas e cancelado o sonho de morarmos juntos nos fundos da casa da minha mãe
Às vezes acordo e choro pensando como poderia ter sido bom
Sinto muito por ter gozado dentro naquele sábado que dormimos abraçados vendo um filme do van damme e você disse “um filho agora foderia tudo, di”
E sua menstruação atrasou como o brilho da lua
Juro que queria ter um filho contigo
Um filho negro com nome bíblico
Que jogasse futebol e fosse artilheiro do Vasco da Gama
Sinto muito por não ter dinheiro para levá-la para Florianópolis
Cidade que só conhece por cartão-postal
Sinto muito por teu pai ter me visto com o nariz sujo de pó no estofado da sala e não ter falado nada quando ele disse que o amor não enche barriga
Devia ter dito que o amor escreveu os melhores livros e que ainda existe mundo por causa da brasa que nos esquenta por dentro
Sinto muito por não ter comprado “crime e castigo” na saraiva e empurrado sua cabeça por ciúmes
Aqui dentro está tão frio
As ruas de Manaus parecem de Moscou
Agora deixo mensagens no teu Samsung como se fosse Nostradamus prevendo o pior
A tua indiferença seca os tumores no fígado do mendigo do outro lado da rua e não tem poema que console a dor de tê-la trocado por cerveja e cocaína
Sinto muito não ser o melhor pra você e seus filhos
Ele deve ser um homem digno que acorda cedo e te leva para o trabalho falando sobre jurisprudência e direitos do consumidor
O direito não pesa na balança
O que pesa é teu rancor por eu não ser o que sonhavas
Minhas promessas não cumpridas
Eu nunca poderia te fazer feliz com a minha literatura suja e meu sonho de vencer o mundo com lirismo
Sinto muito por não ter emagrecido e me matriculado no CCAA
Nunca quis falar inglês
A minha língua é morta como as cartas que a tua empregada jogou fora
Aqui dentro está tão frio
Meu peito parece a Antártida e tudo que mais queria era que você botasse um par de patins e patinasse em mim sorrindo como se fosse uma criança no natal.

Diego Moraes

youtube

Via Maisa Estefani’s YT channel (http://youtu.be/FNP0tQLFDpI)