especially with the amount of times i have seen these movies

a non-comprehensive list of things that grate or make me uncomfortable in fandom, by me, a queer girl
  • general statements about a fandom that assume a non-canon couple (especially main boy x main girl, especially when neither or only one of them has canonically expressed any other feeling than friendship)
  • whenever anyone assumes that a character having one-sided feelings for another means the other owes them anything or will obviously reciprocate
  • people expecting that someone/a character should love someone/a character because they’re a good person/they’ve known each other a long time and get along/that person loves them A Lot And Passionately (aka the horrible nice guy/friendzone thing but even in fandoms discussion, see: gale hawthorne) 
  • loving, detailed shot of a woman’s body that leaves out her face or eyes (this applies in everything honestly, the amount of ads and book/movie covers that do this… i think it’s the most literally objectifying trope i’ve ever seen)
  • straight males drawing girls/women being cute and/or sexy for straight males
  • sexualization/cute-ification of vulnerability and distress (i.e. a loli looking scared, a long shot of a woman crying in a beautifully animated/filmed way and her pain being ~beautiful~)
  • beautifully dead girls
  • a male character taking away a female character’s agency “for her own good” (locking her in a safe place while he goes to save the world, etc)
  • the manic pixie dream girl trope being played straight
  • the manic pixie dream girl trope being deconstructed to show that women are fickle things that won’t put out for you
  • being expected to care about a romance that has no other basis than “hot male meets hot female, they talk”, they’re not particularly cute or interesting together but ~they’re in love~ and i’m expected to think that’s enough
  • a female character having no other relationship, interaction or acquaintance than her boyfriend
  • anything revolving around being manipulated/forced by circumstances into marriage. no it’s not funny or tragic or relatable that a woman can’t tell her adorable boyfriend that she doesn’t want to marry him so she deflects the subject anytime it comes up but he keeps asking again and again and ultimately she pretends to accept to become his fiancée???? JUST TELL HIM YOU’RE NOT READY TO THINK ABOUT IT???? YOU’VE KNOWN HIM FOR LIKE SIX MONTHS AND YOU’VE SAID LIKE THREE TIMES YOU DON’T EXACTLY LOVE HIM
  • i just. the assumption that a relationship means marriage, people not being able to tell that their significant other doesn’t want to marry them, unwanted proposals being either funny or ~tragic~, what the hell
  • straight people being unable to communicate
  • (yeah i just saw tokyo fiancée yesterday and tokyo was the only part of it i cared about)
  • in general, acting like men and women can’t ever understand each other and are mysterious to each other and that’s totally normal and you should just rely on subtle manipulation rather than COMMUNICATION, bye
  • especially when it’s something like “don’t tell your man to do something, let him think it was his idea so he’ll do it without feeling emasculated” byyyyye
  • the Strong Female Character being portrayed as misogynistic: congrats, that’s misogynistic and ruining the point of making a Strong Female Character
  • alternately, the Strong Female Character being concerned about sexism in a way that shows it to be ~needless~ because ~sexism is over~, like, male protagonist: don’t do it! strong female character: what, you think i can’t do it bc i’m a woman??!! you sexist pig!! male protagonist: no, it’s just that [thing female character hadn’t noticed]: congrats, that’s sexist
  • multi-talented hot and probably ~exotic~ strong female character falls for boring and unpleasant male protagonist for no other reason than bc he’s the protagonist
  • or bc he saved her or in explicably did something in her field of expertise better than her (giving the message that being saved or beaten means being seduced)
  • unnecessary sex scenes
  • unnecessarily long sex scenes
  • unnecessary showing a woman’s nipples and/or butt and/or vagina but not the man’s
  • unnecessary heterosexual sex scenes when there is one or more queer couple(s) but they barely get an onscreen kiss
  • one bi character getting multiple unnecessary sex scenes with the other sex but only an onscreen kiss with the same sex, even though their same-sex lover is supposed to be Their True Love
  • queer people only getting to have one love interest
  • queer relationships necessarily being ~true love~ and often tragic, please allow us the silly romcoms with stupid crushes that don’t have a particular Huge And Important reason too
  • nobody ever assuming that bisexuality is possible
  • nobody ever assuming that a poly solution is possible but that’s even less surprising
  • people acting like being single is the worst thing ever and you can’t be perfectly happy with yourself and fulfilled on your own
  • and all the usuals obviously: fridging, romanticizing jealousy, burying the gays, etc etc