Since I cannot make any video, here is a text.
Well hello, Cap’n speaking so yeah….
At first I wanted to make a video explaining everything. I’m not the kind of being that sentimental or anything especially in public but anyway, I guess you guys have the rights to know some stuffs that is going on. I’m sorry in advance if something doesn’t sounds right, I’m not English first so yes I do make mistakes.
So I must thanks you guys, I mean, I am having a fun time, if it wasn’t of all of you guys that is following and giving supports well heh, I wouldn’t be here trying my best to entertain you all which I kind of enjoy.
You see, it is not going well on my side for at least more than a month now, stuff that is happening are giving me more stress then I should endure. I try my best to stay strong no matter what, to stand my ground and give my possible to everyone around me that isn’t going well neither telling to myself that my stuffs aren’t important and they will pass… Which it seems it is not happening.
To the eyes of some people, I seems to be a strong person… In all honesty, with all the shits that happened to me I can finally assume it that yes I am because I learned the hard way, to survive on my own when I was bullied for some sort of reasons and many more that I am not going into details. I push my limits over and over for taking care of everyone that I can even if in the end I just can’t because… I came to realize that even if you try helping, if someone doesn’t help themselves, you just cannot do anything more and you need to stop pushing and take some times for yourself.
I was the kind of person that was ready to do everything for my friends and of course family until…. All of that crap happened. When it started I don’t know but I am not an happy person neither but at least I try my best and stop always being negative and still climb the broken ladder. Even the strongest people can fall my friends… But a strong person cannot stand alone neither.
I’ve seen my friends and now my family falling one by one and me… I’m being foolish trying to be the hero and save them all… You guys don’t know… How much good it does to someone when you go and tell them they are beautiful, that you admire them, that you love them and etc… Even if it is random, just that is enough to help someone and if that person doesn’t accept it? Then you at least tried.
To me at least, it makes me smile. I do not look like it but I am not a people person at all. The way I’ve been raised, the way I’ve been treated by everyone in my life made me dislike/hate the world I’ve been living in. I have thought about so many insane things, things that sadly cannot leave my head to the point I’m asking myself if I’m completely there, if I am still alright or if my sanity is still there which I doubt but, I am here. Making what I want the most, acting.
So guys…. No matter what, keep fighting, keep telling to the others how much you like them, how much you find them beautiful and respect them and don’t forget to thanks them, who knows… maybe you’ll save someone that way…. We just…. shall never surrender.
Anyway, again, thank you, I needed it because sometimes, someone that once was a hero can have enough and simply becomes a villain.