espécies

Quando ci pensavo sentivo una mancanza, non mi mancavano quei momenti, mi mancavano i due che eravamo stati, che non siamo più stati capaci di essere. Così leggeri e semplicemente felici.
—  Fabio Volo
  • <p> <b>Cis people:</b> yeah I just don't find trans people attractive even if I was attracted to them before they told me, I'm not "transphobic" it's "just a preference"<p/><b>Trans people:</b> that is transphobic tho but w/e, I don't find cis people attractive anyway, it's "just a preference"<p/><b>Cis people:</b> what hte fuck did you jus t say how can y ou not find me attractive??? dont u know we outnumber you?? and that we're normal and without us the human race would die out???? how dare you!! cisphobe!!!<p/></p>
little things I’ve seen cis allies do that are really important and I advise other people to do
  • “Hi, I’m __ and my pronouns are __!!!”
  • “What pronouns do you use?”
  • “Are you out? I don’t want to out you by using the correct pronouns”.
  • Not assuming what bathroom I would prefer to use (me: “where’s the bathroom?” them: “there’s one on the left and one on the right down the hall”)
  • “Do you want me to come in the bathroom with you/wait outside?”
  • Using gender neutral pronouns and language for strangers
  • Not referring to periods an reproductive rights as a thing that is exclusively relevant to women
  • Asking for good articles, videos, and resources so they can educate themselves and other people
  • When something big happens in the trans community (caitlyn jenner’s show, jazz jennings’ book, the national geographic gender special) they ask me “do you feel like this was accurate? I don’t want to get any misinformation”
  • Corrects someone when they misgender me (with asking me beforehand if this is something I would like them to do)

(feel free to add to this if you can think of anything else cis allies should do!)

Era la natura del nostro rapporto a essere vigorosa, spontanea e cruda. La fiducia che ci teneva insieme ci apriva anche l'uno all'altra in modi che ci rendevano vulnerabili e pericolosi. E sarebbe andata peggio prima di andare meglio.
—  Sylvia Day
«Il prete dirà tante cose ma, prima di lui, sei tu che me ne devi promettere una.»
«Quale? Che ti porterò tutte le mattine il caffè a letto?»
«Non sto scherzando.»
«E allora?»
«Promettimi che non ci rinfacceremo mai niente.»
«Ci tieni tanto?»
«Tantissimo.»
«Prometto!»
—  Susanna Tamaro

A social justice PSA for people who claim to care about these things, in all caps for the people in the back:

ASKING SOMEONE TO CONSIDER THEIR PRIVILEGE AND POINTING OUT THE HARM IN WHAT THEY ARE SAYING IS NOT “BULLYING” OR “TEARING PEOPLE DOWN.” IT IS NECESSARY DISCOURSE. IT IS SELF-ADVOCACY. IT IS ALLYSHIP. IT IS DIRECTING SOMEONE TO BETTER MANAGE THE IMPACT OF THEIR BLIND SPOTS.

Imagine, if you will, the following scenario:

Person 1: Hey man, I understand that you are reaching for that thing up there, but you are sorta standing on my neck and it hurts me. I don’t know if you noticed, so I just wanted to speak up.
Person 2: OMG YOU ARE SUCH A BULLY WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN.

This is what is happening when people get angry/defensive about call outs. We are conditioned to immediately devalue and undermine the feelings of more marginalized people, and unlearning that takes quite a bit of work. Now consider this alternate scenario:

Person 1: Hi friend, I see where you are going, but while you were swinging your arms around, you accidentally punched me in the face.
Person 2: Oh goodness, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there! I will try to look out for you next time. I’m sorry in advance if I make the same mistake again, I’m still learning how much space my arms take up.

Hopefully this helps to clarify what is happening when people get defensive about getting called out. Calling someone out is an invitation to do better, to stand in better solidarity with our community members who are dealt much shittier cards. Apologize, acknowledge the mistake, and commit to doing better. That’s all. I’m sorry I yelled in the beginning there. I love you all ❤