escape-artist

Custom Collar Trade?

I need a custom collar for Jude-pup. He managed to escape while Danny and I were visiting his aunt’s Native community in Beaverton last week. The dogbeast ended up slipping his nylon collar while everyone was in the middle of a ceremony, so I didn’t realize he’d gone missing until after the event was over, about an hour later.

It wasn’t hard to find him, but since this was the first time Jude had managed to escape in over a year, I was mortified, thinking about worst-case scenarios. 

An old man walking his own dog told me that his neighbor had Jude in their yard, and that he was safe and sound. He gave me directions on where to find him. 

Less than three blocks away, a woman greeted me at her backyard fence with a super excited Jude in tow. I was nearly crying when the woman opened the fence; Jude rushed out to meet me. His tail was wagging so hard that his back feet could hardly stay on the ground. When I dropped to my knees in front of him, he licked my face, put his paws on my shoulders, rubbed his head all over my hair, and assaulted my lower lip with loving little flea-bites. 

I thanked the woman over and over, wishing that I had something to give her, but since no one knew where I was or why, I knew I needed to return to the lodge ASAP. 

Danny was running along the property line as I walked back. He slapped a hand across his heart when he saw us and let out a heavy sigh of relief. Danny didn’t need to say anything; he just hugged me while Jude stood beside us, tongue lolling and tail wagging, waiting for his own turn to greet Danny with wiggles and kisses. 

Shortly thereafter, a guy pulled up in his van. “Oh! Good! I’m glad you found your…er…dog,” he said, though the word “dog” was uttered in the tone of a question. “I saw him pacing ‘round outside my house like he was looking for someone, so I whistled at ‘im and he came runnin’. Brought him into the house for a bit - he made himself at home on the couch. But I had to run some errands so I locked him inside so he wouldn’t get hit by a car or nothin’, and when I got back, he was gone and my back door was wide open!” 

“Yeah,” I said, “He unlocks doors. Four different kinds of lock last I checked.” 

The guy looked impressed. “My son-in-law thought he was a wolf. Just about called the police till I whistled at him and her came prancing on over” - the guy moved his hand through the air like a bouncy Jude-pup - “Friendly animal! Beautiful, too! Glad you found him!” 

“Me, too,” I said. “Thanks for looking after him while you did. We all appreciate it. He slipped his collar with his tags on it, so I worried nobody would have a way of getting in contact with me.” 

“Time for a new collar, then!” the man said, and we all laughed. 

So here we are: It’s time for Jude to get a new collar. One that he won’t be able to slip, chew through, or otherwise escape from. I could make one for him easily enough, but I’d like to see if anyone else out there does custom leatherwork who might be willing to trade. I’ve got plenty of pelts, tails, candles, etc. 

This collar needs to be thick leather, with a heavy-duty buckle closure. Looking for something in a bright color, too, so that people see said collar and stop mistaking Jude for a wolf. It’s also gotta have his name and my contact info on it in BIG letters, so that it’s easily visible, and needs a metal loop I can attach his county tags to. 

Let me know what you’ve got in mind, and show me some of your previous works. I’d love to work out a trade! 

when I say my music taste is varied I don’t think people understand that when my songs are on shuffle it goes from blink-182 to high school musical to a sam smith ballad.

6

The man I faced in that cabin is the man I know, beyond all doubt, murdered my wife. I could’ve done a lot of things to him. Instead, I saw him suffer and I called an ambulance. I removed him from danger. I did what any decent human being should do. But make no mistake, I did those things out of nothing more than a sincere duty to a common decency. I did so, because that’s what’s expected when you’re a person in the world. I risked my life to save the man who took away my heart. My compass. My anchor. My best friend. I faced him down with a knife in my hand, I could’ve let him burn. In the circumstances, I believe I exerted an extraordinary amount of restraint. Liam Foyle is dead. I rejoice in his passing. But you should not convict me of his murder.

The Escape Artist

peter pettigrew: snack runner, location tracker, undetectable rat-stealth, eyelash batter

remus lupin: reluctant moral compass, corruptible string-puller and loophole maker

sirius black: co-strategist, co-spell maker and implementer, casual inventor, laugh track

james potter: planner, grand unveiler, co-strategist, co-spell maker and implementer, extreme excuse-maker