escalator jokes

Scored the YOI Ichiban Kuji “Enjoy Your Trip” Tour Guide Book, and Otabek’s page is just ~killing me.

Imagine:

Otabek sending Yurio pictures of the random, interesting things he finds in Almaty, and Yurio replying, “Give me!!!”

Otabek invariably buying those things for Yurio and sending them to him. 

It starts of as a joke, but like all running jokes, it escalates, until one day, Yurio opens his front door, expecting to find yet another parcel from Kazakhstan… but finds a WILD CITY BOY on his doorstep instead.

“I was expecting something a lot smaller,” Yurio says, with a nonchalance he doesn’t feel. He hopes that Otabek doesn’t hear the slight hitch in his voice.

“Thought I’d deliver it personally,” Otabek grins, sharp and sure, as he drops the black-and-gold cap on top of Yurio’s head. 

What, Yurio tries to say, but Otabek leans in then, and steals the retort right from his lips. 

“Suits you,” Otabek finally murmurs. a while later. A long while later. 

“Oh,” Yurio breathes, slightly dazed. Unthinkingly, his hands fist in the front of Otabek’s jacket, and he reels his maybe-boyfriend in for another kiss.

4

Sorry this one is simple. This is referencing this article, if you need to know why Hank is getting uncomfortable.

Been trying to figure out Kamski and Gavin the past few days and talked to Nalintant about it. And I had a moment where I was like, “Dude… What if Kamski bought out a fanfiction site.” And the joke escalated to that he bought out art sites for fandoms and would sponsor fanart/fanfics that he liked with a ton of cash. He also would have a high quality printer in his room that artists wished they could even dream of having and would bind fanfiction he enjoys in really nice books. Nalintant you’re an angel for putting up with me and my insanity, thanks dude.

For clarification, the Chloe here is a different Chloe than the one that’s supporting Carl and Markus and has flowers in her hair.

Imagine if Toga and Twice manage to kidnap Eri, and then the League was stuck with a six year old

  • I’m like 99% certain Twice and Toga would have robbed a store for baby food
  • Only for Dabi to tell them that a six year old can eat regular food
  • Not that they have any lmao
  • For a couple of days afterwards, Twice and Toga and Eri has to finish all of it
  •  
  • Dabi would have tried to stay away from the whole thing, but eventually get so fed up with the idiots he takes Eri with him out for like McDonalds or something
  • Scrounge up some of the last of his (read: the league’s) money for this, what the hell
  • Eri gets a sundae and a toy and gets to play on the jungle gym. It’s one of the best days of her life
  •  
  • “It’s your turn to watch the kid while we go massacre a hate cult!”
  • Mr. Compress offers to compress her into a marble and is shouted down…by only Spinner
  • Spinner’s the only one that shows any common sense
  • Dabi just watched for some laughs but would’ve stepped in if they actually did try to marble her
  •  
  • Dabi ends up quietly, secretly taking care of her: making sure someone fed her, slipping her sweets, getting a jacket from somewhere cuz it’s getting cold
  •  
  • Eri’s super afraid of Shigaraki at first, hands and face and all
  • But realizes that while he has a scary face, he’s surprisingly subdued and just gloomy
  • Most interaction they do are unspoken staring contests
  • There was once when Shigaraki tossed her half a granola bar, but she couldn’t catch it and it smacks her in the face
  • He gets (teasingly) admonished by Toga and Twice

  • She plays with Toga and Twice the most, they’re weird, but cheerful and seem to actually like her.
  • Both of them try to tell her stories, taking turns after each paragraph, and nothing makes sense
  • Twice gives them both a piggyback ride at the same time and twists an ankle prob
  • Sometimes Spinner play with her too, by telling her the exploits of the great Stain
  •  
  • The League try to get her to use her quirk, but she isn’t able to do anything. They don’t really try to force her though. They got the bullets already, she’s too young to master her quirk, there’s no need. 
  • She musters up to courage to ask about when they first started being able to use their quirks and
  • no one answers. everyone’s just very quiet. 
  • she doesn’t ask for anything else again the rest of the day
  •  
  • As the month drags on, the League’s getting more worn out, money has all but disappeared
  • They come home soaked in blood one day, and that night Eri gets nightmares that wakes up everyone 
  • Shigaraki calls a meeting the next day
  •  
  • Eventually Mr. Compress does get to use his quirk on her
  • He turns her into a marble, gives her to Toga
  • Who puts on a nurse disguise and sneaks into a hospital
  • and places the marble on an empty bed in a nice empty private suite 
  •  
  • When Eri wakes up, she’s in a hospital, and the UA kids and heroes are there, and everyone’s asking her lots of questions
  • But they all seem very relieved and happy she’s back
  • She’s happy to be with the nice people too
  • Yet she knows better than to tell them she thought the League of Villains was sorta nice too
  •  
  • and that AU ends and the universe is back on track 

okay but imagine…

Peter keeps joking about Tony being his sugar daddy and Tony always rolls his eyes about it.

Peter loves how much it gets a rise out of him, and starts escalating the jokes.

Tony tries to pretend like he doesn’t notice how bratty and teasing his boy is being, until one day Peter shows up wearing this, and he spits his drink out the minute he sets eyes on Peter:

image

And Peter is just casually like: “Well if you’re not going to be my sugar daddy, then someone needs to be. At least he’d let me blow him when he’s on a conference call.”

And Tony knows he’s fucked cause he’s never wanted to take care of his baby boy quite so much as he does now.

  • Sakura: Darling? I have something to confess...
  • Sasuke: Hn?
  • Sakura: (playful grin) I want six more children ♡
  • Sasuke: ...Okay. Let's do it.
  • Sakura: (surprised) Haha Sasuke-kun, you know it's April fools day today, right? I was just joking.
  • Sasuke: ...I wasn't. (pinning Sakura down on the couch)
  • Sakura: ~Eeehhh >.<
A story to share

In social studies, our teacher told us to come up with a quick fix to corrupt governments as a small thinking exercise. My friend and I decided to partner up, and decided to mess with our teacher. We kept on bringing up communism as a joke. This escalated to my friend blasting the Russian anthem. We obviously got in trouble, and our teacher said that she would decrease our overall grades if she heard communism from either of us.

One of my favorite things about Nanbaka is how Jyugo starts using his knife hands more and more as the series goes on. Like, at first it was all “they can’t know my secret, I am a monster” but now it’s like:


Uno: Damn, these flies are really annoying.

Jyugo, activating knife hands: On it

anonymous asked:

The Grandmaster to Loki: "Sweetheart, maybe I'm not as endowed as a horse, but I will surely satisfy you" and Loki wants to fucking slap him and seriously starts to wonder if there exists a single fucking place in the entire universe where this untrue and slanderous rumour didn't reach. And that's absolutely ridiculous how Volstagg's one stupid joke could escalate like that. Fuck his life. (the GM: "Oh no need to be so ashamed. We don't judge anyone here" Loki: "BUT IT DID NOT FUCKIN HAPPEN")

lmfao the more Loki denies it, the more the Grandmaster is convinced he’s just trying to save face

The Grandmaster: “This is a judgement-free zone ;)”

Loki: [muffled screaming]

“Just Friends”

I realized while writing this, but there’s a lot of scene changes so bear with me. I’ll try to include less next time.

Summary- You and Spencer dated but it didn’t last long. Spencer and the reader started talking again and certain agents are suspecting there not just friends.

Warning- angsty-ish but ending is not angsty 

word count- 1,219

image

Originally posted by toyboxboy

“We’re just friends!” you light-heartedly remind JJ for about the fifth time. For months, your coworkers have been teasing you and Spencer. Although you wouldn’t admit it to them, you don’t blame them for the jokes. When you and Spencer started talking after your awkward breakup, your coworkers paid close attention to your interactions. It started with small smiles and escalated to playful jokes that JJ said, ‘sound like flirting.’

“We’re not flirting.” you counter, adding an eye roll to show your annoyance. “Besides, we already dated and it didn’t work out.” 

You thought you and Spencer were soulmates. Even before you were dating, you finished each other’s sentences, knew what each other were thinking and agreed on almost everything. So when JJ heard from Garcia who heard from Morgan that Spencer liked you back, you were overwhelmed with joy. All your fantasies of cuddling and sweater-wearing would become a reality. Sadly, your relationship was not as prosperous as you imagined. Maybe you set your expectations too high or you weren’t ready for a serious relationship, but something about your relationship was off. You should’ve predicted the outcome from the beginning. You confessed your feelings over the phone because you were too scared to talk face to face. When you did get together, you could barely have a normal conversation. Everything that used to be effortless became ten times more difficult and you hated it. Yearning for the ease and chemistry the two of you had before, you suddenly broke it off. It pained you to see his broken expression, but you knew it had to be done, or at least you thought.

“You never know,” JJ informs you, causing you to walk away from her. Following you into the kitchen, she claims, “Come on, Y/n! I know you didn’t move on.”

You would be lying if you said you didn’t miss him. After every uncontrollable smile and inside joke, you felt a pang of regret and guilt over the breakup. Although you would like to give the relationship a second chance, you couldn’t bear to play with his emotions, not after the breakup.

“It’s not you; it’s me.” you cringed internally at those words. You watched Spencer’s resolve crumble before he a cold expression overtakes his face.

“No, I understand.” he spits unemotionally before walking away, leaving you alone in the cold, empty hallway.

Turning to face JJ, you state seriously, “For the last time, Spencer and I are just friends.” You walk away, disregarding whether she follows.

-

Sitting at your desk, you shiver uncontrollably and glare at the vent directly over your desk. You search for your jacket, but remember that you forgot it at home. You continue working, planning to ignore the frigid air when a sweater slides over your shoulder. You look up and see Spencer, who is no longer wearing his beige cardigan. You resist biting your lip at the sight of his shirt rolled up to his elbows, which exposed his strong forearms.

Turning to face Spencer, you express, while fighting a blush, “Thanks for the sweater.” 

“You’re welcome,” Spencer smiles, warming you even more, before walking back to his desk. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Morgan smirk cockily. Pretending to not care, you swivel back to your computer.

“Just friends?” a deep voice patronizes above you. Knowing the mouth attached to the voice, you roll your eyes without even facing him.

“Yes.” You turn to see the disbelieving look on his face. “Do you have a problem with it, too?” you respond a lot harsher than you intended. 

Morgan seems taken aback by your tone and comments, “It’s not me with the problem, kid.” He walks away, leaving you to grovel at his response. Annoyed by Morgan’s comment, you whip your head back to your work and miss the disappointed look on a certain someone’s face.

-

“Ready to go?” you ask, fishing your keys out of your bag. You invited Spencer to watch Doctor Who at your apartment. 

“I can’t come over. I have some work to finish,” he states, without making eye contact with you.

“Okay, I’ll just drop you off at your apartment,” you reply, surprised by his sudden cancellation. Spencer follows you out of work silently and the two of you enter the elevator. Usually, Spencer shares an unusual fact about elevators or the Industrial Revolution. You are about to start a conversation when the doors open. Still, in silence, the two of you stroll to your car. Spencer remains quiet as you drive towards his apartment.

Minutes go by and not being able to deal with Spencer’s silence anymore, you pull over to a patch of gravel on the side of the road. Spencer gets out before you could speak. He begins to leave and you shout, “You’re not really walking home, are you?” He continues to walk, about five feet away from you. Your headlights shining on you like a spotlight on a stage, you shout, “Spencer Walter Reid, you come back here this instant.”

Spencer stops and turns around. He bitterly replies, “Why should I listen to you? I’m only your friend.”

“Spencer!” you exclaim at his biting tone. Where did this come from? You’ve never heard this amount of anger come from his voice.

“I’m just your friend so why would you care if I walked home? Why does anything I do matter to you since I’m just your friend?” he spits harshly while unconsciously walking closer to you.

“Why do you keep saying that?” you reply, finally able to speak again, “Spencer, you mean the world to me!”

“Then why am I just your friend?!” he shouts angrily, but you can feel the pain underneath. His voice, which is now only two feet away, shakes your soul and shatters your heart.

“Spencer, you don’t mean…” you drift off, unable to comprehend what he’s implying. 

“Yes, Y/n. I don’t want to just be your friend. I’m not mad that you don’t feel the same way, but I can’t pretend that I’m okay with just being your friend.” he confesses with the same passion as a couple seconds ago.

“Spencer, I-” you start before he cuts you off.

“No, save it. I don’t need your pity. It’s fine that you don’t like me but if you’ll excuse me, my apartment is ten minutes away and I’d like to get back before midnight.” Spencer turns to start walking again.

You groan, knowing he’s too angry to stop, you run to catch up to him while pleading, “Spencer, listen!”

“No, Y/n, leave me alone.” He continues to hear your footsteps. Turning around, he says in a defeated yet upset tone, “Just get back in your car and-“ You finally caught up to him and cut his angry ramblings off with a passionate kiss. Spencer, caught off guard at first, wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer. All his anger and passion funnel through the kiss leaving you lightheaded and unable to stand unaided. After your breakup, you never imagined kissing his soft lips. Your lips move together perfectly, both of you craving each other’s warmth. You pull away with your foreheads still touching.

“Now do you want me to leave you alone?” you whisper slyly. Spencer smiles and plants a soft kiss on your forehead before holding your hand and walking back to the car with you.