errant mess


Guys, the worst thing just happened. I am still in shock.

I went into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, and I was pouring the milk, my hand slipped and 300ml went into a measuring jug. As the milk poured, it happened to knock over a bag of flour, and 100g of flour fell into a large mixing bowl. The flour knocked over two eggs as it fell, and the two eggs cracked open and the yolk and egg whites fell into the mixing bowl along with the flour, and a tablespoon of oil which had been nearby also dropped in. 

Imagine my absolute horror as the mixing bowl, spurred on by the forces of all the things falling into it, began to wobble, mixing its contents into a thick paste. As this happened, the mixing bowl must have jostled the milk, because 50ml of it poured in, and more gradually poured in as the bowl churned its contents, until all 300ml of milk had been added to the bowl.

Petrified at the mess I had created, I could think only of how to destroy it. I found a frying pan and poured some of the errant mess into it, heating it on a moderate heat with a bit of oil to hopefully quicken its demise on the electric flames - but horror! The mess did not go up in a blaze as I had hoped, but instead became golden brown and solid. Scared out of my wits at the black magic that was occurring on the stove in front of me, I managed to summon all of my bravery and flip the pan, only to reel with sheer terror as the other side of the abomination began to brown as well. 

All I could do was watch, slack-jawed and wide-eyed, as time after time - despite my valiant attempts at consigning each wafer thin monstrosity to a nearby plate, where they could do no more damage - the batter continued to act in this terrible way every time I attempted to end its reign of terror by pouring quantities of it into the heated pan, and eventually, when I had tried to vanquish all the contents of the mixing bowl on the stove to no avail, I was left with these.

I mean, really. What am I supposed to do with eight delicious pancakes? Needless to say, I am absolutely mortified and will be doing everything within my power to secure my kitchen and ensure that this never happens again.