“As long as women are choosing to be on the receiving end of men’s violence and degradation and oppression, it’s totally cool!”- modern libfem

Putting all the moral weight on the option to choose totally diminishes the social and economic forces that lead women to make these choices AT ALL (ie: the male demand to be able to watch, eroticize, and commit acts of violence and degradation against women) Normalizing everything under the sun because it’s a “choice” is a misogynists dream, especially liberal men. Liberal culture has gone so far as to shame “vanilla” women for not wanting violent or abusive sex, and polls show that young girls feel extreme pressure to conform to the male expectations formed through porn consumption at a young age.

Nothing happens in a vacuum. We can’t just claim women are freely choosing to allow men to buy and sell their bodies, and degrade them, and that this is perfectly normal and okay. This would imply the desire for this is “natural” or inherent to being a woman. And the same is said of men; if we refuse to criticize and normalize their desires to be violent and degrading to women, we’re implying it’s a part of being male. How can we not see this as harmful? If the desire to be violated and violate, or use and be use, wasn’t gendered, it would be seen happening equally across the board. yet that is not the case. So either the qualities are inherent to men and women, or are socially formed. 

How can we see an ideal liberated world as one where women are free to choose to do these things (in order to fulfill the endless male demand for them?) It’s just an erasure of guilt or responsibility on the part of men. If men convince themselves women like and want this kind of abuse, they don’t have to feel guilty about consuming and even paying for it. The reality is the vast majority of women in porn and prostitution the world over are not there by choice, or would not be there given a better alternative. The happy sex worker is a fantasy of modern liberalism to continue feeding the male demand for sex.