eridan cronus

AU where all of Homestuck is some sort of tv or movie series where all the trolls and humans are actually trolls and humans, but they’re all just actors dealing with the bullshit lines they have to do..

Karkat yelling himself hoarse for all of his lines and constantly needing to take lozenges and water and stuff because he keeps straining his voice in character.

Mituna just getting frustrated over all his lines being so nonsensical so he just bullshit ad-libs more than half of it into gibberish nonsense, yet it still makes the cut.

Supreme pun characters like Nepeta, Horuss, Feferi, and Meenah collaborating because they’re just told to read the scripts and force in as many puns as they can think of.

Eridan and Cronus constantly struggling with their wwavvy vwawvy accents being kept in place while they’re talking. (ws and vs are hard. it’s hard and no one understands)

Dave having to stop constantly because he keeps losing his stoic face and voice from so many of the lines he has to say. Same with Jake who constantly mocks his own character when not on set.

Gamzee tripping over his own lines because he’s getting the way his words are pronounced screwy because he talks so weird.

Damara actually speaking Japanese and she sometimes just speaks Japanese off-set to screw with people and they aren’t sure if she’s flirting or just messing with them in character.

Fucking Kankri having to memorize entire monologues of text when he speaks and having to stop because he’s just so done with so much of what he has to say. Plus deals with the same voice exhaustion problems Karkat does.

Oh man! I know it’s been some time but I just have to say it: I loved the latest upd8! I mean, look!

First of all we have Tavros preventing Gamzeecalypse simply by throwing him off the rage game right into love limbo and all thanks to got-brought-back-to-life-by-Terezi confidence!

Then we have Feferi, who decided that Green Sun is a great opportunity to have beach party and Gamzee happily complied, as always! Murderstuck completely avoided and all thanks to Terezi-and-John-bringing-back-Feferi-to-life-movement!

Of course, it’s not like it stopped srs pale GamKars from happening, I mean, why should it??? Karkat never stood a chance against Gamzee-not-being-bad-thanks-to-Terezi-thinking-it-out-properly!

And because Terezi-thought-Eridan-deserved-a-second-chance-cause-this-would-only-be-just, Eridan gets to shine as a quadrant and history nerd! Also, don’t you think it’s a perfect situation for Rose to learn how to auspisticize?

And man, it was obvious that Terezi was going to bring Nepeta back to life so she can finally bond with her non-F4C3T1OUSLY and wow, can you see this helping Nepeta bring shipping out of the shadows and getting over her Vantas crush at the same time???

Then, there’s Sollux. Welp, shit happens when you make blind dude stay around. Guess it’s no big deal since he didn’t mean to and without drama Rose might see it as a wake up call from fate.

Almost forgot about this one! Look how happy Gamzee seems to be, like for the first or second time in his life probably! And he is bonding with Kurloz! Yay, finally bonding with dancestors!

Oh man, and then there’s Equius utilizing his fi%ing skills and helping alphas with prototyping properly! Aren’t you glad Terezi and John brought Equius back to life since it’s not his fault society messed up his head and his death was a result of that?

Some more Equius knowing what is he doing (oh, and there’s Vriska’s head too, I wonder what’s up with that).

And then there’s like Fedorasprite (FedoraPipesprite anyone???) helping guide Jane to her Dad and Kanaya seeing herself having a makeover done in another timeline and wow, aren’t you glad Terezi brought back to life everyone whose death seemed to be UNJUST.

Cause imagine what if she brought back to life only one character and that character would act like if whatever it did actually fixed everything thanks to its overgrown ego and what if it would steal other’s characters plots and character development and possible outcomes and-

OH W8.

So I tried my hand at Amporas in pretty dresses as well! 50’s sailor pinup look for Cronus, military lolita style for Eridan!
Also, bonus:

I think Eridan would really want the outfit to be as historically accurate as possible even if it doesn’t translate too well to that style, but Kanaya knows what she’s doing, even if she’s gotta take some liberties. Also, I think Fef would come up with the idea for that style for him (idk, I can see Fef dig Lolita fashion).

Cronus strikes me as the kind of person who tends to sit with their legs far apart, but Porrim thinks it’s a bad look, especially when wearing a dress.  

Part 2

FIRST PART HERE

“youre not as awwful a heap a dirtscrapin mustard shit as my sessions captor”

“7H4NK5 URRR N07 45 MU5CH 0F 4 55H5H17N00K FUCK1NG7URFL33LL47N1NG 8ULG3W0NK 45 MY P345C3 0F 7H5H17 4MP0RN4”

“no fuckin shit noww get back to wwork”

And then Eridan and Mituna sort-of bonded over shitty hate-art, with Eridan providing much-needed artistic critique and even condescending to draw Mituna himself. Mituna survived the experience with minimal physical harm. The end.