eric what are u

What’s in my bag - Eric Bittle (as of his junior year) 

(Jack) (Lardo) (Chowder)

meanwhile in school shooter spirit land

eric harris: hey dylan do u like cheese

dave cullen: **BURSTS THROUGH THE FUCKING WALL hOLDING HIS BOOK IN HAND** AS YOU CAN SEE ERIC HARRIS WAS A DOMINANT FIGURE WHO FORCED DYLAN TO JOIN HIM IN THE COLUMBINE SCHOOL SHOOTING HE IS A MONSTER aND HIS PARENTS SHOULD BE ASHAMED

eric harris: I just asked dylan if he liked cheese wtf??

dave cullen: yoU DISGUST ME foRCING MY BABY DYLAN TO EAT CHEESE

dylan klebold: uhm I like cheese

dave cullen: HERE’S A PRIME EXAMPLE WITH DYLAN AGREEING WITH ERIC BECAUSE HE IS SCARED OF HIM 

dylan klebold: what 

eric harris: tf

dave cullen: plea s e   b u y   m  y   b o o  k

dylan klebold: 

eric harris:

dylan klebold: we shot the wrong people i stfg

anonymous asked:

Pls help I am in desperate need of a restaurant au with waiter bitty + ZIMMBITS

When Eric moved to Providence for college he really hadn’t envisaged being a waiter. Sure, he knew he’d need a job - don’t even get him started on the debt he was going to end up with by going to this school - but for whatever reason he’d never imagined that he’d end up in a little French restaurant, serving dishes with names that he can’t even translate. 

Honestly, he thinks he’s damn lucky he was even hired what with his lack of experience - the owner seems to have a soft spot for him though so Eric’s not going to complain. He’s been working there for just over a week now, finally settling into the habit of balancing plates on his arms and not causing a ruckus every time a customer requests something even slightly off the menu. He’s just dropped off a dessert bowl for a couple when he spots a new customer sitting alone at a table. 

“Hello, I’m Eric, and I’ll be your waiter for today. Can I get you something to drink?” He tries not to make it sound rehearsed, but truthfully he’s a little tired because he’d spent last night writing an essay into the early hours in the morning. When he properly looks at the guy he’s serving, he realises with a funny little flutter in his stomach that he’s - well. He’s hot.

“Uh…” says the customer, “Just some still water, thanks.” He’s got a heavy Québécois accent which is actually not that common for Providence even though they aren’t far from Canada. 

Eric thinks it’s fucking adorable. 

“Sure,” says Eric, “Do you need more time to decide on your food?”

He watches, fascinated as the man pulls his lower lip between his teeth and bites for a second, before answering. “What would you recommend?”

It takes Eric a moment to process his words, which is kind of embarrassing and he really hopes he’s not blushing. “Err - the croque monsieur is really good.” He knows he stumbles over the French and he really wishes he was fluent because his customer is smirking just a little bit at him now.

“Okay. I’ll have one of those, please?” He passes Eric the menu with a smile that makes Eric’s insides go all warm and squishy. He feels like facepalming or pulling out his phone to tweet about his new cute customer but resists the urge.

“Merci,” The guy says, and his eyes flicker down to Eric’s shirt for a second and he smiles, and in that same accent, “Eric.” 

Eric definitely blushes. (He also swears loudly once he’s back in the kitchen, but that’s not so important.)


Eric’s waiting aimlessly by the kitchen door when it happens. The cooks are talking to the waitress and he catches a bit of the conversation when the door opens.

“Jack Zimmermann, yeah!”

There’s a pause and then Eric hears, “Fucking hell, bro, that’s awesome!”

He frowns but thinks nothing of it, instead goes out to the restaurant and picks up a few empty plates before he goes to check on the cute guy by the window (again). 

“Everything okay?” he says, trying not to sound to eager. 

The customer smiles. “Yeah, it was really good, thanks.”

Eric hovers for a second while he takes Jack’s plate. “Do you wanna order anything else or…?”

“Wha - oh, no, sorry. I - um -”

“Yeah?”

It looks like the guy is having some sort of internal struggle before his shoulders sag. “Just the check, please.”

Eric smiles and fetches it for him. When he comes back, the guy is twiddling a pen between his fingers and there’s another guy who he’s waving at that’s walking away from his table with a huge grin on his face.

Eric looks between the two and raises an eyebrow. “Company?”

“I - uh -”

“Sorry, sorry,” he says, “None of my business.”

“No, it’s okay,” the guy says, looking embarrassed. “Just an autograph.”

Eric is taken aback by that - is this guy some famous celebrity that he’s never heard of? (Maybe he needs to catch up on his tv.) Still, he’s got a job to do so he shrugs it off and thanks the guy when he hands him back the receipt with money and a very generous tip.

It’s only when he gets to the kitchen that he realises there’s a note scrawled onto the bottom of the receipt:

You can totally ignore this but my friends say I need to get out more. Also, I think you’re really cute. - Jack (401-555-0147)

Eric would like to say that he’s an independent man who don’t need no boy but he can’t help letting out a little squeal anyway.

this au <3 thanks! send me writing prompts :)

check please ice princess au where bitty is the inexperienced figure skater whose parents want him to focus on opening up a bakery and and kent is the mean figure skater who tries to sabotage him and jack is the zamboni driver who woos him. literal zimmboni.

anonymous asked:

Hi! I'm really excited about how your blog will turn out! I hope this question is okay, but I was wondering how the main four would feel about dating a girl with an eating disorder like bulimia or anorexia? If you aren't comfortable with answering, I understand, I'm just curious about people's opinions on it :))

Stan:

  • Would always try to help, but would be very scared of overstepping boundaries.
  • Very torn between keeping it secretive or telling everyone in search of help.
  • Switches between being very persistent in helping, and not mentioning it at all. After trying to help, he often thinks he went too far and ends up going silent about the issue for a while.
  • Leaves you little treats and candies in hopes you’ll eat them.
  • Always buys you a huge meal when you are out and doesn’t care what happens to it.
  • “I just want you to have something to eat if you want it. I’ll love you either way.”
Kyle:
  • Asks a billion questions and tries to make sure he knows absolutely everything about the issue and how it affects you.
  • Asks a bunch of people hypothetical questions about it to verify/dispel any and all of his ideas/plans to help.
  • After learning that you were affected by the disorder, he spent the next night doing research on it.
  • Spends too much time thinking/worrying about you.
  • Never asks you over for dinner, fearing what his parents will ask/think.
  • Has talked to Ike about it (most likely in hypotheticals), and Ike gives you play food whenever you come over.
  • “I’m just worried about you, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”
Cartman:
  • Does not understand the idea of not constantly wanting to consume food and asks how it is possible at almost every meal time for a while.
  • Makes fun of you for it, but only in private and usually feels awful afterwards, even though you tend to take it with a grain of salt. He rarely apologizes, but when he does it’s very heartfelt.
  • Will threaten to fight anyone who jokes about the disorder in any way shape or form.
  • Often takes the food you don’t eat off of your plate. When in groups, he uses this as a way to make it seem like you’ve eaten more to avoid questions.
  • Will offer to share his food with you. You are the only known human who has been offered anything edible by him.
  • Has whined to his mom about you not eating to which she suggested that he gives you a gentle nudge and tries to get you to eat little by little.
  • “I don’t get it, but more for me right?” (Usually followed by a sheepish look, a just kidding, and a quick kiss)
Kenny:
  • Will always share what little food he has with you.
  • Constantly invites you over for dinner, despite his parents scolding him for bringing over another mouth to feed.
  • Picks you up a lot and usually makes sure your weight isn’t fluctuating drastically.
  • Tries to keep you as heathy as possible and insists that you follow the same general routine that he does to keep healthy with little food.
  • Has serious late night conversations with you about it. Asks why a lot.
  • Often insists that all women are beautiful, no matter what their weight.
  • “One day, everything will be perfect. We’ll be married, live in a big mansion, and eat a huge feast every night.”

sometimes you forget how well off dylan and eric were until you google the prices of some of their signature items. for example, the going rate on the dusters they wore (esp dylan’s leather one) is well over 100 dollars. not to mention the price of dylan’s onyx ring (if it was actual onyx), his watch, and his red sox/avalanche hat.

stellaxvx  asked:

Do u know what kinda shoes Eric wore??

He had a favorite pair of black tennis shoes. They were kinda bulky and he often wore them with tube socks. This was the ultimate dad look. 

He also wore his military combat boots on occasion. The most famous incident was during the attack on Columbine, as seen here: 

However, he can be seen in the “Radioactive Clothing” video wearing the same boots. 

Excuse the video bar in the screenshot, ha. 

Eric And Dylan Ordering a Pizza
  • Eric: *on the phone* dyLAn what toppings u want??
  • Dylan: can i have uhhhhhhhh foot skin toppings on my pizza please
  • Eric:
  • Dylan:
  • Dylan: oh and put eggs on it as well :)
  • Eric: *on phone again* okay so i'll have one foot egg pizza,,
  • Dylan: 👌👌
  • Eric: and one GODLIKE cookie dough slimjim gun flavored virgin pussy flavored pizza please and thank you👅👅💦💦

based on dante’s inferno, what circle of hell do you think eric and dylan would be in?