eric stan

violettalette  asked:

Cartman, you should totally set Stan up with Gary Harrison that Mormon guy?

But, I’m not gay.
-Stan

Yeah, dude. My love detector isn’t going off for those two. Stan’s way too much about pussy to even think about going with a guy. But Stan, you did fuck Kenny once. Are you sure you’re not gay?
-Eric

Positive. And wait, how do you know about that?! I never told anyone-Kenny told you, didn’t he? It was a one time thing, after we slept together, I realized I wasn’t into guys.
-Stan

Wow, the hippies smart. Yeah, he did.
Wait, you know who you’d look cute with? Rebecca. She’s single and ready to mingle.
-Eric

…but she’s pregnant. With your kid.
-Stan

Only for about seven more months. That gives me time to pair you guys up.
-Eric

No, dude, I’m not into her. I’m not looking to really date anyone right now. I just got out of a shitty marriage, I don’t need to go fishing for girls right away.
-Stan

You need some lovin’ in your life, Stan.
-Eric