Mikasa’s Goodbye and Eren’s Response
I also want to write my thoughts about SnK: Scream (ep37/chap50)
This is one of the highlights and definitely a major turning point in Eren and Mikasa’s relationship. That a lot of conversations put emphasis on Mikasa’s “confession” and to Eren’s some sort of “indirect proposal” is something that I personally enjoy but what really tugged at my heart was, although there was an element of confession as an effect on Mikasa’s end, this was definitely a goodbye more than anything else.
Mikasa has feelings for Eren alright but she’s not the type to confess to him on a normal day. At least to me, confessions are not within her priorities. She may be overprotective of Eren, that’s a given, she treasures him more than anything. But she isn’t also the type to force her feelings to him. For Mikasa, Eren’s safety is the priority. But that day was not any normal day, almost everybody around them was already being eaten, they no longer have horses, her ribs were fucking broken, and it was clear as day that no help is gonna come. But above everything, what broke her heart was seeing Eren blaming himself, saying he hasn’t changed as he is unable to do anything. This was definitely the last thing Mikasa wanted to see, an Eren who feels he is useless, because for Mikasa, he is her savior, her source of strength, and reason for living. For Mikasa, Eren being unable to do anything at that point, being unable to transform into a Titan, or being unable to fight at all won’t make his value to Mikasa any lesser, even if just to her.
Spoiler alert (refer to chap 71): The same way that Eren’s mom told Keith Shadis that Eren is already great as he is for existing and for being born into the world and that he doesn’t need to be great or better than everyone else, is exactly how Mikasa sees and values Eren too. For Mikasa, if they were about to die at that time, that was the only thing she wanted him to realize, that whether he can fight or not at the moment is not something that should define him as he is already a significant existence to her and other people. It became a confession somewhere along the way (god she almost kissed him), but what she really wanted to convey, more than her own feelings, was for him not to feel useless and recognize how he changed other people already.
And Eren clearly got that, the entirety of her message, and more importantly, that that was a goodbye from Mikasa, but he’s not taking any fucking goodbye from her. So for those disappointed that the kiss didn’t happen, that wasn’t Eren rejecting any romantic advance. It was him rejecting Mikasa’s goodbye, it was him refusing to die, refusing to let Mikasa die, and promising her he won’t leave her side forever. So if Mikasa’s message to Eren became a confession along the way, then Eren’s response to it was the real blessing. When all along what he wanted was revenge for everything he lost, this was one of the moments when he wanted to fight more for the future, a future where Mikasa should be in.
And we got the most beautiful response from Eren, through words and actions. He almost literally told Mikasa he’d be with her forever, and then protected her. Yes we didn’t get a kiss, but we got something way better.