———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————– “Hey uncle…” “Yes KÍli?” “I’m Fíli…” “Oh, well what were you going to say.” “Well Bilbo’s birthday is coming up and I thought you might want to do something nice for him.” “Well I already had a plan actually” No he didn’t. Thorin tried but he had completely forgotten Bilbo’s birthday… again…. the third year running. Well what did Bilbo like? Flowers, baked things, hugs…. he could do that. For the flowers the fields and woods around Erbor were covered in flowers and though the cake would be a bit more difficult but he was sure he could handle it….
“I cannot handle this, I can’t do it. This is ridiculous, I Thorin Oakensheild am admitting defeat. I have failed as a husband. This is it. It’s all over.” Fíli and KÍli snort behind their hands. “Oh shut up and help me” “But you asked us not to help.” “WELL I NEED HELP, OKAY?” “Calm down Thorin. If you keep yelling Bilbo will hear you from the other side of the mountain.” Thorin sighs and flops down into a chair. “Okay, okay. I’ll start again.”
“This is going even worse!” “No its not, it will be fine. Just put it in the oven. But don’t leave it too long, okay?”
“You left it for THREE HOURS?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?” “WELL I DIDNT KNOW HOW LONG CAKES TAKE TO BAKE!” “WELL THEY DONT TAKE THREE HOURS, AND YOU SET THE ENTIRE KITCHEN ON FIRE SOMEHOW. HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT?!” “I DONT KNOW” “Okay, okay…. let’s just move on to plan B. Which is?” “Flowers” “Well that’s good Bilbo loves flowers.”
“Okay so that could have gone better.” “We were stung by 7 bees so KÍli had to be rushed into hospital.” “Yeah but, Thorin, we got the flowers. So that’s the main thing right? There’s always an upside.” “No there’s not.”
Thorin glances down at the small bunch of flowers in his hand and sighs. Today was a disaster and it was Bilbo’s birthday and he didn’t spend any time with him. Knock, knock. Bilbo opens the door to their rooms and let’s him in. “In brought you flowers.” “Mmm they’re um nice…” “Whats wrong?” “I’m allergic to that kind of flowers.” Thorin sighs. “I’m so sorry Bilbo. This day has gone terrible, I tried to make you a cake and the first attempt didn’t work and then the second one I set fire to the kitchen-” “WHA-” “And then I picked flowers and KÍli was put in the hospital-” “WHA-” “And now you’re allergic to the flowers and I don’t have anything to give you for your birthday.” “It’s… It’s fine Thorin. At least you tried and setting fire to the kitchen is a talent I’m surprised you managed to do that…I love you Thorin.” He wraps his arms around Thorin and pulls him on the sofa next to the lit fireplace. Maybe Fíli was right, maybe there was always an upside.
I hope your patios okay and that no more things have been set in fire. Thank you so much for making this request I loved writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it. I hope you have a nice day. Feel free to make requets in the future. -Tree ☺
Hey! I made you a present! I saw your beautiful work and wanted to do something special for you. ((None of your linework was at all altered in any way, and if you are uncomfortable with my coloring this piece, I will delete any and all files pertaining to it. It is not my intention to claim any of your artwork as my own, just to color something for you for your own personal enjoyment. I hope you enjoy this. You are in no way obligated to post this or do anything with it other than have fun! If there are ANY concerns of yours related to this, I will be happy to address them at once.))
I GASPED AND ALMOST DROPPED MY PHONE AT WORK WHEN I SAW THIS OMG the colours!! they’re so pretty!! and this is so amazing and I can’t believe you took the time to do this oh my god ajhsdfk;herhsuer; you’re amazing thank you!! ahh @jackfryst@erbor look at this!
No doubt I’m missing tons, but I tried to include as many as possible.
Fluff and Humour
Downhill Slopes by octopus_foolThorin is set on getting to know Shire traditions, even though they don’t
sound terribly appealing.
One-shot. READ THIS. Our Majestic King tries sledding for the first time, an
experience that is apparently terrifying for even the most battle-hardened
Winter Wish by Jezunya. Frodo climbs up onto the stepstool, Bilbo’s hand on his back to steady him, and grasps the edge of the table in his little hands, carefully following the two DJs’ instructions of not too close and speak slowly and clearly and you’re doing great, kid, and then, when they nod and tell him to speak, he says, right into the microphone: “My Winter Wish is for my uncle to get a boyfriend.” One-shot. Absolutely hilarious, with kid!Frodo, Fili, and Kili thrown in. Thorin and Bilbo are two awkward, lonely, gay saps.
Closing Timeby Stickman. In which there is a general store, an exasperated store owner, and that one costumer who always comes in 5 minutes before the store is about to close. One-shot, super cute and hilarious. Thorin is complete trash, and Bilbo is oblivious.
First Impressionsby bilboo. Bilbo Baggins is not a morning person,
so he doesn’t really know what’s supposed to happen in that magical time before
lunch, but even he realizes finding inconveniently shirtless (and
inconveniently attractive) strangers sleeping on his couch isn’t an everyday
occurrence.One-shot, incredibly cute
and funny. Bilbo wakes up, only to find a stranger (Thorin) passed out on his
Not Quite First Sight by Ias. After a heavy dose of dwarvish medicine, Thorin falls for his intended all over again. One-shot. Seriously, do yourselves a favour and read this (or re-read it). Thorin is a besotted dork, flirting shamelessly with Bilbo, who is endlessly exasperated. He’s shocked when he finds out they’re together, and it’s just super sweet <3
You Should See The Other Guyby diemarysues. Rival gang leaders in the same room -
bruises and bites ensue, but probably not how you think. One-shot, sexy and
hilarious. Bilbo and Thorin are rival gang members who are secretly hooking up.
Alone this Yuletide?
Irritated at prying and nosey family members?by Emsiecat. After becoming increasingly irritated by
overtures of romance from various Shire residents following the death of his
mother four years ago, Bilbo is more than ready to resort to desperate
measures. That is, up to and including pretending to be in a serious
relationship with a certain surly blacksmith currently inhabiting the Bindbale
Woods. WIP. The classic fake-dating trope with a twist – it’s
set in Middle Earth! This is hilarious, and Thorin and Bilbo banter back and forth
like an old married couple. Oblivious idiots.
An Unexpected Viewing,
or: Excellent Burglar Material Indeed (as narrated by Bilbo Baggins) by Itar94One moment the Company of Thorin
Oakenshield are enjoying their brief respite at Beorn’s house, completely
unaware that they are being watched - and that a kidnapping is just about to ensue.
But not to worry though! There’s popcorn. Popcorn = good.Or:
the start of a silly little series wherein Bilbo and the Dwarves get to watch
themselves. On widescreen. WIP.
Such, such good crack. Thorin is a complete schmoop, and Bilbo is oblivious.
I Thought I Lost You by @bagginshieldhappiness. “Bilbo,” Thorin murmured
beneath his breath, heart clenching as it was gripped by fear’s piercing
talons. Their burglar was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly the others faded from
his concern as Thorin’s entire world narrowed to the single fact that the
hobbit wasn’t with them. One-shot
set during the Quest. Overprotective, love-sick, schmoopy Thorin!
Not Quite Legend by @tea-blitz. Hobbits are merely legend and Gandalf is all too willing to introduce the Dwarves of Erebor to a Hobbit. WIP, the dwarves know nothing of hobbits - literally. Major cultural confusion, hilarious, with mutual pining and obliviousness, miscommunication, sassy Bilbo, and Thorin Dorkenshield.
Indulgence by @baggvinshield. Demisexual!Thorin at it’s best; Bilbo and Thorin’s first time together, wherein Bilbo is incredibly considerate of Thorin’s virginity and makes sure to take things slow. (NSFW)
All the Love in the World by DoreyG. “You know,” it occurs to him one day, out of the blue, and he’s saying it automatically before he can even think of filtering his thoughts or taking a step back or actually holding his tongue, “we’ve become one of those couples that I used to hate.” Bilbo, the one who that sentence was directed at, pauses for a second in his magazine flipping. He wrinkles his forehead, he frowns, he looks briefly up in a manner best described as questioning “…Sorry?” One-shot. Thorin is bumbling and awkward, and Bilbo is beautifully sassy. Great banter between them, just a super sweet fic!
Pining and Angst
Cyrelifis by Eshnoazot. Bilbo Baggins makes it to the docks of the Undying
Land the first time; steps foot on the gangway and feels something push at his
very soul with a force that makes him slump back onto the deck with a thump… He
is trapped, and the undying Lands will not yield entry for him. One-shot. Angst, so much
angst. I read this a while ago, yet this fic still stays with me. It is
incredibly moving and poignant. If you’re ever in the mood for a good cry,
please read this. I can’t even say how amazing it is.
I Was A Lonely Soulby Erbor. It’s been fifty years since the retaking
of Erebor and Bilbo Baggins of the Shire has been invited to join in the
festivities. Despite his advanced years, he sets out for the faraway kingdom
expecting to find old friends, make new memories, and then head back West—but
things never go quite the way Bilbo wants them to, and this time it may prove
to be a good thing.
WIP (½ chapters posted), this is honestly the best characterization of
book!Bilbo I have ever seen. It’s honestly amazing, and funny, with bittersweet
What was promised by paranoidfridge. Perhaps Bilbo is being selfish. But even though he
knows that Thorin’s mind has grown clouded from cursed gold, he is unwilling to
give up on the intimacy they share. And when Thorin - with his mind still
bespelled - asks for his hand, Bilbo does not decline either. With armies
before the gate and a battle to come, things must come to a head. Complete. BOTFA AU; beautifully painful
angst with a happy ending.
Homesick by margotkim. Five years after
they’ve reclaimed Erebor, Thorin is sick of home, Bilbo is just sick, and
neither is handling the situation ideally. WIP. Characterization is
amazing, and it’s painful and angsty but also so sweet and humourous.
West of the West by @alkjira. One-Shot. Angst with a happy ending. Set during LOTR;
It’s time for Bilbo to travel to the Undying Lands, and Thorin must make a
Middle Earth AU
The Company of Mad Baggins by avelera. Thorin
has lived twice, but the Quest for Erebor was not his first life, or his first
attempt to reclaim his homeland. Meet Thorin in his first life as King of Ered
Luin, and disgrace of his line. Weakened by childhood illness, Thorin inherits
the throne of Ered Luin after Thráin dies of old age. His first act is to hire
the Company of Mad Baggins, led by none other than the dashing and dangerous
Mad Bilbo Baggins himself, to reclaim the lost kingdom of Erebor. The story of
how a king, a captain, and a wish changed the world. WIP. A huge role
reversal here, which is incredibly intriguing to see how it plays out. Bilbo is
sassy and flirtatious, whereas Thorin is awkward and bumbling.
Dear Creature of the Homely WestbyLuciferIsSatanA desolation had befallen Hobbiton and they found themselves without a
home and many without their family.Yet, with no way to return to the
rolling hills of the Shire, Bilbo Baggins found himself in quite the situation
indeed; arranged by lords and royalty, to honour aged treaties and debts of
old: his hand to be given off to a king he’s never met, for the security and
safety of his people, and never in all his years would he have thought his life
to come to this. WIP.
Arranged marriage AU with tons of cultural differences, miscommunication, and confusion.
The Unexpected Hobbit: A Journey by alkjira. “Thorin Oakenshield,” Gandalf began, and Thorin started a little at the use of that name. He hadn’t known that Gandalf was even aware of it. How much had the old man been snooping around? “May I introduce the leader of our company –”The Dwarf held up his hand to Gandalf in a signal for quiet and gave a short but courteous bow as he held Thorin’s gaze.“Bilbo Baggins, at your service,” he said and finally stepped inside, a bemused Thorin giving way almost without thought. Whoever this was, if he would dare to quiet Gandalf – well, perhaps this night still had a chance to turn for the better. Quest AU with a role reversal - Thorin is a hobbit, and Bilbo is King of the exiled dwarves of Erebor. Amazingly, they are completely in-character, but the circumstances lead to alterations in the Quest as they go on.
What Once Was Lost by emerson4embry. There are two realities. In one, Bilbo watched Thorin die on Ravenhill, moved
back to the Shire, and adopted Frodo, whose presence helped soften the edges of
his grief. In the other, Thorin survived BOTFA, courted Bilbo and made him his
consort. Then, three years after the battle, Bilbo dies in a field, trampled
beneath the hooves of a plow horse. He lies buried in Erebor. Thorin bleeds
with the pain all dwarrows who have lost their Ones know. So, when Bilbo
suddenly turns up in Erebor, alive and well, Thorin’s not willing to let him
go. His soul recognizes his One, even across realities, and he’s not willing to
listen to anyone who suggests he should release Bilbo. WIP. I love this AU, such an amazing
idea. Thorin is sweet, if over-protective, trying to court Bilbo in a world
where everyone thinks they’re already married. There are a lot of mysterious
things going on, with a plot against Erebor.
The Stranger Who Has
Loved You by EarendilElwingThorin Durin-Oakenshield has a problem. It’s not his company’s recent
legal problems, the invasive police investigations, or the threat of old
enemies coming back to haunt him. It’s that he may or may not have developed feelings
for his assistant - an assistant who might not be who he claims to be… WIP, a very intriguing AU with a twist
on reincarnation. Bilbo is delightfully sassy, and Thorin is pining. Tons of
Journey to Jurassicby ZapandosAn island full of dinosaurs is pretty crazy. The fact that Bilbo is
willingly going to that island (again) with a bunch of strangers who claim that
island is theirs is even crazier.It doesn’t help that Bilbo’s size would
make him a good pterodactyl snack. WIP. Jurassic Park AU, do I even need to say anything
else?? Thorin and Bilbo pining for each other, they’re oblivious dorks, Frerin
is alive and Dis is involved as well.
i’m killing time, and
time’s killing you by KaavyaWriting. Bilbo was haunting Thorin… politely. Most of the time.
If he happened to see things he shouldn’t, that wasn’t really his fault, was
it? It wasn’t like he could just tell Thorin he’s there—haunting didn’t work
that way. But he tried to be helpful; he was more of a considerate, if
inconspicuous flatmate than anything else…The thing of the matter was, Bilbo
was haunting Thorin, politely for the most part. Even though, technically
speaking, Bilbo was not dead.WIP. Bilbo is sassy, Thorin
is grumpy and hopeless, and Gandalf is up to something.
Alright, let’s see. This is a wild mix of things: probably heavy on things I’m currently reading or have read recently, or read a while ago and remember for being awesome (I am sure I’m forgetting quite a number, though…).
One last word ahead: some of these deal with dark stuff (i love those things). Please heed the warnings!
announcing the new members of the star trek network! first off, i want to thank everyone for such an enthusiastic welcome. the number of applications and amount of support was what gave me the confidence & drive to put my 100% into this network. whether or not you’ve been accepted, i genuinely thank you for your support, & i hope you’ll continue to do so! secondly, i do apologize for the blog deletion: explanation found here(basically, tumblr needs to get its head in the game).
anyways, drum roll please…. here are the first members of the star trek network!
i’ll be contacting all of you soon to sort out some admin stuff. to everyone who didn’t get in this round, thank you for showing interest - appreciate it immensely. i admittedly had to be really harsh because of the huge amount of applicants. if you are still interested, look out for the next application date. live long & prosper!