equus asinus

anonymous asked:

I'm on my summer break which means job hunting time. My only issue is that I'm not much a people person. Are there any jobs that mean less human interaction as possible or should I quit being an anti-social ass?

Okay, Anon, lemme explain to you a few things:

LEARN HOW TO SOCIALIZE AT LEAST A BIT. HOLY COW.

I understand if you’re antisocial because of anxiety, Aspergers, or something similar that makes it difficult for you to socialize (side bar: TSA has anxiety, so I feel you, dude. But I don’t let it get in the way of me doing my job, which requires a lot of human interaction and communication. You’re not me, though, so you are probs completely different). HOWEVER, almost every job on the planet requires you to interact with other human beings on some level. The hiring manager, human resources, your boss/supervisor, and more. So, at least on a small level, you need to adapt to talking to your everyday fellow employees, because you may have to. Like, what the fuck are you gonna do if you can’t find the bathroom? Gonna piss yourself or interact with someone and ask where the fuck the john is?

But! Don’t fucking worry, because there are all sorts of jobs that all require different levels of interaction. I’m going to be super-fucking nice and list a few part-time seasonal examples.

High Social Interaction:

  • Camp Counselor: Children. Everywhere. Just keep swimming.
  • Customer Service Rep: Deal with assholes all fucking day on the phone.
  • Cashier: Argue with people over the legitimacy of expired coupons.
  • Waiter/Waitress: Deal with assholes who are also picky eaters, and also cheap assholes who don’t tip.
  • Receptionist: Answer phones. Type on computer. Talk to people who want to know what’s taking the doctor so long to meet with their special snowflake child.

Medium Social Interaction:

  • Craft Store Fabric Table/Frame Table Person: Avoid working on the weekend, and the fabric table is like a ghost town. And framing doesn’t attract tons of people either, unless there’s maybe a sale.
  • Barista: Morning shifts=busy. Night shift=ghost town. Might smell like coffee all day. Also might encounter…hipsters.
  • Restaurant Hostess: Tell people they need to wait for food. Experience hangry (hungry-angry) people. Tell them where to sit. 

Low Social Interaction:

  • After-School Janitor: Clean up after children. So sticky.
  • Line Cook: Cook food in hot, somewhat gross conditions.
  • Dishwasher: Touch dishes that were once eaten off of. Not for germaphobes. Or people who get mad at wasted food.
  • Overnight Stocker: You’re going to work around 2 or 3 AM and clocking out at the ass crack of dawn. Heavy lifting/machine work might be done. Usually for 18+ only.
  • Landscaping: Bust your ass planting flowers for country clubs and other places that make you feel poor as dirt. Sweat a lot.

There are plenty more where that came from, but I’ll let you discover them on your own. And there’s positive and negative aspects of every job. And the level of social interaction may be different for these examples depending on where you live. Maybe midnight coffee is a thing.

And dang, I didn’t know asses could type so well. Make all the other Equus africanus asinus proud!

-The Sudden Adult

PS. Good luck!