epitome of awesomeness

Now okay this guy, his voice, is like the epitome of awesome, best voice and sorry my cannon voice for sans!
(just that good and im like super picky for that)
But not only that, he is lovely too! and more than that Im sure of it!

@barasans
You are wonderful! Hope you have a wonderful day and you deserve all the best things, and that everything goes good for you!!
Love ya! and you make my everyday like so better more.

Masterpost

Links to all the stories I’ve posted so far. I’ll try to update once in a while. And let this be a warning to you all: I write fluff. Everything’s fluff. Most of what I write is fluff. Fluffier than a goose feather pillow. Because this is how I cope when reality gets harsh: I write things that makes me smile. 

But sometimes the darkness in my brain leaks onto the paper. I’m sorry about that.

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The Bestiary: Vampire Squid

It came from the depths of the ocean! Millions of years on the bottom of the sea have transformed the small squid into a rampaging monstrosity ready to destroy America! Guaranteed terror! SQUID ATTACK! Watch at the nearest cinema!

Today’s Episode: The Vampire Squid

No, don’t be afraid, they don’t actually drink blood… as far as we know.

We already talked about the fact that the bottom of the ocean houses some of the most bizarre, outworldly and terrifying monstrosities on this earth. If this goes even for the creatures considered to be less threatening, such as isopods, what do the epitomes of nautical awesome and inspiration of oh so many cheesy 60s horror movies, cephalopods get warped into down there?

The answer, naturally, is that they get warped into this.

This is the Vampyrotheutis infernalis. That name literally translates to Vampire Squid from Hell. You remember the part where science is hard cold fact and doesn’t let itself be affected by emotions? Well, you can throw that out to the dumpster, because this unholy bastard child of Cthulhu and Béla Lugosi freaked biologists out so hard that they decided to name it Vampire Squid from Hell.

Actually, the name “squid” is largely a formality - this thing is neither an octopus, nor a squid. It’s so strange and unplaceable in cephalopodic taxonomy that, after years of frantically searching up and down the cephalopod family tree, they managed to dig up an order of long-extinct Krakenesque monstrosities known as Vampyromorphida and place it there.

This is the Leptotheutis gigas, one of its alleged cousins. I don’t know about you guys, but as far as I know, animals are usually named “gigas” for a reason.

Aaaaand crash and burn. Considering that the vampire squid is only 30 centimeters long, this thing can be considered downright colossal.

Now, consider that all these creepy betentacled fucks died out, and the sole survivor of the entire nightmarish order is a relatively small “squid”.

Common sense dictates that all the omnicidal, dripping, primordial evil of the Vampyromorphida is likewise present in vampire squid, only in higher density, because they’re smaller.

The squid itself lives a fairly slow-paced life, either because fast movement is power-costly and it’s hard to regenerate energy down there, or because it secretly plots the downfall of human civilization. I subscribe to the latter theory.

Notably, it lives in a depth of approximately 800 fucking meters, giving all the better-known hardass deep-sea monsters such as the anglerfish or the pelican eel a run for their money. To put this in context: oxygen is so rare down there that the water is theoretically unfit to support areobic life. In simpler terms, the water is so oxygen-poor that the only things that are supposed to be able to survive there are bacteria for whom oxygen is explicitly harmful. And yet the vampire squid can survive in these mind-boggling depths, and has absolutely zero problem breathing in water with an oxygen saturation of just 3%. Three. Percents. Three. An oxygen level that low wouldn’t only cause a human to die at superluminal speeds, it probably wouldn’t even be enough for his body to start rotting. And this dark, slimy piece of shit just dilly-dalles along in nearly no oxygen. God dammit.

It also has these little earlike fins on its head body it flaps to move around, because once again, using the mega-awesome bionic jet engine most cephalopods use would be to damn costly in energy. However, this makes the vampire squid not only an outlandish hybrid of Count Dracula and a Great Old One of your choosing, but an outlandish hybrid of Count Dracula, said Great Old One and Dumbo.

Let’s talk about the bioluminescence, shall we? Because this guy is covered head to toe in bioluminescent photophores. Not only that, it releases a bioluminescent fluid instead of ink in order to fuck with potential predators and its eyes glow with different colors.

Epileptic disco squid. Yum.

As if all these defensive tactics weren’t already enough, the vampire squid takes defence to the level of a crazy survivalist hoarding shotguns in his toolshed in case the President turns evil and declares martial law. Namely, they turn their webbed umbrella-like tentacles inside out until they become the deep-sea equivalent of Sonic the Hedgehog, that is, a fleshy ball of spikes that kill you to death if you as much as touch them. Well, that’s what this sneaky little fucker wants you to believe, even though the spikes are completely harmless.

Here is what it looks like.

O_o

Iä! Iä! Vam’Pyre Squ’Id fhtagn!

The epitome of awesome.

A/N: I know, I know… there are thousands of these kinds of fics out there. But I think they’re important, because way too many people feel bad about themselves. And if stories like this can help people feel better for a short amount of time, then I have no problems with writing them.

Summary: Dean is sort of forced to admit his feelings for the reader when she feels particularly bad about herself one day.

Word count: 2156


The door closed behind me, my weariness flooded through my body and I made a mistake: I caught a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror on my wall. It made me want to cry. After a long week on the road, I was dirty and tired, and the looks and comments were still fresh in my mind. Ignoring my increasingly wet eyes, I punched the wall. The pain in my knuckles gave me something to concentrate on, but it didn’t last. My thoughts always caught up with me.

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Whipped (Legend of Korra Snippet)

This snippet was based on the following prompt: prompt: Korra trying and failing to prove to her friends that she is not in any way, ‘whipped’ by Asami.

X     X     X

Korra was the mighty Avatar, the peerless master of all four elements, the bringing of balance to a chaotic world, the walking epitome of awesomeness, the beautiful badass…and she was totally whipped.

No, that couldn’t be right.

Could it?

Ever since Mako and Bolin had started making whipping noises and gestures every time Korra showed up with Asami, Korra hadn’t been able to get the idea out of her head. Could she really be whipped? 

Sure, she did a lot of things for Asami, but that was normal, right? 

And, sure, she let Asami have her way a lot of the time, but that was normal too, wasn’t it? 

Asami knew so much about everything, and she almost never made a bad decision. It was just natural for Korra to let Asami decide since Asami’s decisions tended to make both of them happy. That didn’t mean she was whipped, did it?

Walking into Asami’s workshop, Korra nodded fiercely. She had absolutely nothing to be worried about. She wasn’t whipped. She was the boss. She was the one who did favours for Asami. She was the one who let Asami make a lot of the decision. In other words, Korra let Asami be the one in charge, which meant that she was really the one in charge.

“Oh, Korra, I’m glad you’re here.” 

Korra brightened the instant she laid eyes on Asami. It should have been criminal for someone to look that good when they were all sweaty and covered in grease. But, somehow, Asami managed it. Heck, Korra was pretty sure that Asami would look awesome in a burlap sack, not that the other woman would ever allow herself to be caught out like that.

“Hi, Asami.” Korra tugged Asami into her arms, laughing quietly at the other woman’s muffled cry of protest before she relaxed. “Busy day?”

“As usual.” Asami gave Korra a quick kiss and then squirmed out of Korra’s arms. The Avatar gave Asami a mock scowl and followed her over to the bench where she was working on something involving a lot of pieces of metal. “Think you can give me a hand with this?”

“Sure. What is it?” Korra eyed the metal more closely. She couldn’t make heads or tails of what it was, but that was hardly unusual. Asami had a talent for machinery, but it was usually hard to tell what she was building until she was finished.

“Oh, just something I’ve been working on. I have all the parts, but I need to put it together. It would be a lot easier if I had a beautiful metal bender to help me.” Asami’s lips twitched. “And you know who happens to be a beautiful metal bender…”

“I’m happy to help.” Korra grinned. “Unless you meant Lin.”

Asami made a choking sound and then looked around as if she expected Lin to appear. “Korra!”

“Hey, I can understand if you go for the whole distinguished older woman thing and -”

“Korra!” Asami hissed. “Can you not do that?”

Korra smirked but let the matter drop. Inwardly, however, she was gloating. Hah! Take that Mako and Bolin! Would a whipped person have the guts to do that? Avatar Korra was not whipped.

“Yeah, yeah.” Korra reached for a piece of metal. “I’ll help. Just tell me what to do.”

“Well, you need to start off by putting these two pieces together…”

X     X     X

Two hours later, and Korra had beads of sweat rolling down her temple. What had looked like an easy task was turning out to be extremely difficult. She still couldn’t tell what Asami was making, but putting it together was a nightmare. There were more than a hundred components, all of them different sizes, that needed to be put together using a variety of screws, knobs, hinges, and wires. To make things even more complicated, the whole thing needed to be held together by metalbending since, apparently, it wouldn’t stay in one piece until it was fully assembled.

“Yo!”

Korra didn’t bother to look up. She was too busy. However, she could easily make out the familiar shadows of Mako and Bolin on the floor. Trust them to turn up at a time like this. They’d probably think she was whipped even though she was just doing Asami a favour.

And, sure enough, it wasn’t long before Bolin and Mako started making whipping noises.

“Really?” Korra gave a mental cheer as Asami turned her attention from what they were doing to frown at the two brothers. “That’s not very mature, you two.”

“Well, yeah. But it’s true.” Bolin grinned. “Korra is totally whipped, Asami. I mean… yeah.”

Mako shrugged. “Whipped.”

“I am not whipped.” Korra looked up and glared.

“So you haven’t been helping Asami build Spirits knows what for the past couple of hours just because she asked you to?” Mako asked.

“That’s called be a nice person, Mako.” Korra winced as she struggled to manoeuvre another tiny screw into the right position with her bending. “Maybe you should try it some time.”

“Oooooh!” Bolin clutched at his chest theatrically. “She’s got you there, bro. Remember that time I asked you to light the fireplace and you said no?”

“Come on,” Mako replied. “I am not a mobile match.”

“Yeah, but you are a firebender. And short of lavabending, I can’t exactly light a fireplace without some outside assistance.”

“I have to agree with Bolin,” Asami said. “You have many good qualities, Mako, but you are kind of stingy.” She glanced back at Korra. “How is it going?”

“Fine.” Korra wiped some sweat off her brow. “I think it’s almost done.”

And there was that whipping sound again.

“All right,” Asami said, shooing Mako and Bolin off. “I know you two want to hang out, but Korra and I should be done in about ten minutes. Go make your whipping noises somewhere else. We’ll find you when we’re done.”

“Fine, fine.” Mako’s lips twitched, and then he made another whipping noise.

Asami raised one eyebrow and reached for a wrench. Mako and Bolin beat a hasty retreat.

“Am I whipped, Asami?” Korra asked as she manoeuvred the last few pieces into place with painstaking precision.

“Of course not.” Asami wrapped her arms around Korra. “You just like helping me out.”

Korra breathed a sigh of relief as the last component fitted into place. “I thought so…” She trailed off as she finally realised what Asami had asked her to make. “Asami, did you just ask me to put together a special, limited edition scale model of Zaofu, complete with opening and closing domes and a working railway line?” Her eye twitched. Opal had mentioned these. Suyin had decided to start selling these model kits to take advantage of people’s interest and raise some more funding for her newest projects.

Asami had the decency to look apologetic. “Would you believe me if I said I lost my screwdriver?”

“Nope.” Korra’s eyes twitched. She’d just spent two hours putting together a scale model of a city for her girlfriend. She was so whipped. So, so whipped. 

She could never, ever let Mako and Bolin know.

“Korra…” Asami reached out and touched her arm. “You know that Bolin and Mako are just messing with you, right?”

“I don’t know.” Korra leaned against the bench. “I think they might be onto something.”

“Korra, if you’re whipped, then I probably am to.”

“Oh?” Korra frowned. “Why do you say that?”

Asami gave an amused laugh. “Korra, I invented an ice cream vending machine and had dozens of them installed throughout Republic City because you mentioned you could never find the time to get the ice cream you liked. I improved instant noodles because you like them. I even pushed the city council to have polar bear dogs reclassified, so you could walk Naga around without getting arrested or fined.” She tugged Korra into a kiss. “I think it’s safe to say that if you’re whipped, then I am too.”

Korra smiled and leaned in for another kiss. Trust Asami to make her feel better about everything.

Of course, Mako and Bolin had to spoil that by making coming back into the workshop and making whipping noises. If someone, possibly her, used some wind to shove them back out, well, that was totally a coincidence.