epictaste

Gravity Falls Holiday Song Submission

Hello there! This is the song that I’m submitting for the Gravity Falls holiday song contest, a parody of “What’s This?” from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Just as a note, I got help from chelle-the-evil-queen with writing this song,and therefore she deserves just as much credit as I do. So, with that out of the way, on with the song!:

What’s this, what’s this? There’s monsters everywhere;
What’s this? There’s mystery in the air, what’s this?
My sister Mabel’s dating lots of gnomes; what’s going on, this isn’t fair! What’s this?

What’s this? What’s this? Lake monsters on the rise;
What’s this? Wax figures come alive, what’s this?
This town is full of false prophets obsessing, ghostly store owners possessing;
This is all just so perplexing, what is this?! What’s this?

There’s a multi-bear and manotaurs in the forest deep within;
A magic copier that clones all those who get scanned in;
We found a president encased in brittle of peanuts;
And as I stay in this town I feel like I’m going nuts…

Oh, look! What’s this? A tape measure for time?
And here? McSkirmish came to life, how strange!
We’ve got a light to make things large or small, good gosh, this town’s just so deranged! What’s this?

What’s this? A beast, made from loser candy;
At least, Mabel now runs the shack; wait, why?!
We all fell down a pit that seemed to never end;
And Mabel fell in love again;
With a merman this time, no less;
And we switched bodies, but I digress;
Mabel’s kidnapped her fave boy band;
And now pterodactyls in the mix? What’s this?!

Oh my, what now? Bill’s out there with deer teeth;
Who’s that? A monster from beneath this world;
And now he’s come here just to stress us or possess us
And to try to get inside our Grunkle’s dreamland… *sigh*
What’s this?

Gideon took over the shack and things just weren’t going well;
Then zombies rose up later and into the bunker we all fell;
A dating sim yandere and then we went through a clipshow;
And now secret societies, what’s gone wrong? I’ve got to know…

This place, this town!
It’s all just so bizarre;
And now, the answers all just seem so far;
The mystery inside this town is filling up;
I simply cannot get enough;
I want it, oh I want it, oh we’ll solve them on our own;
I’ve got to know, I’ve got to know, what is this town that I have found?
What. Is. This?!

So it may be a little late, but what better way to bring in Valentine’s Day than with a Christmas treat?

Once again, congrats to bluefootednewt and chelle-the-evil-queen, the winners of our Holiday Song Competition!  You guys had such epictastic carol writing!  We’re working on getting your lyrics to that Alex Hirsch guy right now.

Y'know–ppbt–whoever that is!

~Mabel

I’m just saying, this kinda shit is really inappropriate. Our favorite, super cute/super sweet/super awesome RT/AH guys are great but the vast majority are in serious important relationships. Their star status doesn’t diminish that or negate it. If you had a male friend and he was dating a girl, in love with her, recently moved in with her in love with her, and you posted garbage like that on a tweet of theirs, on a picture of their girl in fact, they would block you. And stop talking to you. And prolly think you suck.
Because that hurts peoples feelings. If you think the guys are so awesome, treat them like you would treat your friends, basic respect shit.
I am, possibly, the biggest Ryan haywood fan breathing. I think he’s fascinating and awesome, not to mention brill and hilarious. And those looks. God damn, I’m getting distracted from my point by how many epictastic qualities this gent has.
But I would never suggest that somehow I should replace his lady. We’ve never met her, he’s mentioned her a few times, really all we know is that she’s a vet and doesn’t wish her husband to disgrace the family name. But she makes him happy and that’s pretty important. I’m just saying, basic decency people.