epic moments of my life


Stephen Black in Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, “The Black Tower”

My skin means that any man may strike me in a public place and never fear the consequence. It means no matter how many books I read, how many languages I master, no matter how diligently I work, I will never be anything but a curiosity.

It means that I am nothing.




Remember that one time…


Lets all take a moment to appreciate how epic Christine Dwyer is

okay but the moment on the speak now tour when taylor sang “i’m shining like fireworks over your SAD EMPTY TOWN” and all those fireworks erupted behind her in an epic explosion of emotion was one of the best moments of my life


1. Which celebrity would you like to look like?
- Kaya Scodelario
2. Who is your current celebrity crush?
- Josh Franceschi lol
3. Who is your current fictional character crush?
- I don’t have one
4. What do you want for your birthday/Christmas?
- Okay honestly all I can think of is a turning board/disk for dance and money
5. If you had to listen to one song for the rest of your life, which would it be?
- I don’t know that’s too hard
6. What’s the most embarrassing thing you can remember and are willing to share?
- I have a problem with peeing from laughing too hard so in 6th grade I was sitting in another kid’s seat and I was laughing with my friends and I couldn’t stop laughing and I ended up peeing A BUNCH like I was wearing light grey pants, and it got on my shoes and made a puddle on the floor. But luckily my friend had an extra pair of pants so I could change in the bathroom and surprisingly no one found out except for the teacher because we kinda had to tell him
7. What’s your sexual orientation and how did you find out?
- I’m straight, I guess maybe a bit bicurious at the most but I can’t see myself actually dating a girl because it doesn’t seem right for me personally ya know
8. If you had to eat/drink only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- I’m currently in love with strawberries with nutella, and idk maybe pizza
9. Who/what do you most often think about when you masturbate?
- Boys that I like I guess…..lol
10. What are your pet peeves?
- When guys are way too overly sexual is the main thing that comes to mind
11. What makes you turned on in 0.3 seconds?
- I don’t know, I’m not a super sexual person like I don’t feel the need to have sex or do anything with another person, I’m just fine with masturbating honestly
12. If you had to wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- That’s too hard wtf i don’t know
13. Quickly, off the top of your head, top five movies!
- Uh, I’m not much of a movie person. I watch shows more than anything
14. What’s your favorite accent?
- I know this is basic but I love British accents okay, also Irish is pretty cool.
15. What’s the most inappropriate thing you’d do for a million dollars?
- I don’t know maybe like quickly flash or something
16. What’s your dream job?
- To own a dance studio
17. Tell me about your most epic, kick-ass moment.
- I think the coolest moments of my life have to do with performing or going to concerts and meeting band members
18. What was your favorite thing to do when you were a kid?
- Color and stuff I guess lol
19. Do you have any allergies?
- I’m allergic to cats and llamas
20. If a boggart showed up, what shape do you think it’d take?
- What
21. One thing you’d never eat?
- Eggs oh my god eggs are the most disgusting food
22. Tell me about your zombie apocalypse plan.
- Hide underneath a bed and pray
23. What are the five things you could never live without?
- Affection, good food, dance, music, happiness?¿
24. For how long do you usually sleep?
- it depends but lately it seems like 9 hours-ish
25. If you could change one thing about your personality, what would it be?
- I wish I was more fearless and outgoing
26. If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be?
- It’s mainly my face idk I’m happy with how I look but my overall face could be prettier I guess
27. If your life was a movie, who would you cast as yourself, your love interest and your best friend?
- I don’t pay a whole bunch of attention to actors so I don’t know
28. If you could totally reboot any movie, what would it be, how would you do it and who would you cast?
- I’m not super into movies I don’t knowww
29. Which rules do you know best; soccer or quidditch?
- Neither
30. If you’d be cast as the lead role of any movie ever made, which would it be?
- I can’t think of anyone in particular but it would be interesting to play a character that has severe mental disorders. Things like that interest me
31. If you could have any super power, what would it be and what would you do?
- Flying or teleportation
32. Which fictional universe would you like to live in?
- I really don’t know
33. If you could have the tattoo of your dreams for free, what would it be?
- I don’t really have a well thought out tattoo idea
34. What would you name your first born?
- I don’t want children, but I like unique names like my friend is named Lavynder, her friend is named Opal, and her sister’s name is Amethyst
35. Type something in a language that isn’t your native one (English doesn’t count).
- Je suis une chienne patron de cul
(I’m a boss ass bitch)
36. Would you rather live in celibacy or be deaf?
- Celibacy because the sexual side of that would be pretty easy for me. Although I do want to get married
37. If you didn’t know your age, how old would you think you were?
- Maybe 17
38. What are the five first things on your bucket list?
- Travel the world and place in the top 3 at a dance competition are the biggest things on my mental bucket list
39. What would you rather do; live a life without failing or live a life without trying?
- Live a life without failing probably
40. Which person, fictional, alive or dead, would you like to have dinner with, and what would you ask them?
- I have no clue
41. What qualities do you look for in a friend?
- Not being overly judgmental, wanting to hang out with me often, humor
42. What qualities do you look for in a partner?
- Too many to name. I want someone who goes above and beyond for me because I’d do the same for them, someone who’s not overly sexual, someone who doesn’t get drunk or party, someone supportive, affectionate, yeah
43. Which is worse; lose all your old memories or never be able to make new ones? Why?
- Maybe never be able to make new ones, that would be so sad
44. What are you most passionate about?
- Dance
45. Tell me about your ideal life in ten years from now. Go wild.
- I want to be successful and feel completely happy and content with my life and decisions. I want to own a dance studio, hopefully be married or at least have someone I’m truly happy with, and have good friends.
46. What do you consider the most important moment of your life so far?
- I really don’t know
47. Do you have a role model? Who?
- Not exactly
48. What will make you laugh at any time?
- Maybe weird vine videos
49. In your opinion, what is the best quality a person can have?
- Kindness or being interesting
50. If you could choose, how would you die?
- Peacefully of old age in my sleep


“You don’t belong here”

twenty-five days of peter and olivia
↳ day eight - favorite kiss

Concert report, Dublin, 17.10.2015

So, where to begin describing possibly one of the very best gigs I’ve ever been to (and I’ve been to a LOT of gigs!)? I think as the boys are about to go on stage for Dublin 3, I’ll be brief(ish), list-like and Louis focused (of course, and I make no apologies for this!).  

(This is really on behalf of me and my sister @LDN1dfan on Twitter - go follow her if you’re a tweeter.)

- The queue was cold (brrrr) and we sat/stood/jigged to warm up in it for 12 long hours before they let us in. Badly organised doesn’t even cover it. They closed the toilets at 3pm and so no one dared to drink anything from that point onwards. Little wonder I saw at least 30 girls being pulled out of the crowd later on. Madness. We met some lovely folks (hello) and some less lovely folks, but you’ll be glad to know the lovely folks prevailed and lined up next to us on front row. 
- Yes, FRONT ROW. We were front row on the left corner of the main stage and despite being more squashed than I have ever been in my life, it was EPIC. From the moment H pranced towards us during ‘Clouds’ we had so much interaction with the boys. Just brilliant. 
- Just before the gig Preston had wandered past us and chanted Donny Rovers at us as we were wearing DR shirts, and this was nothing compared to Louis’ reaction when he came over to our side of the stage for the 1st time. He immediately gave me the ‘I’m watching you’ hand/eye signal and then walked right to the end of the stage, leaned over us & blew us a kiss (does anyone have this on video??? Anyone??). I nearly died. 
- And so began a night of Louis-ness (is there any other kind of night, really?). He was so, so lovely. Sang to us, laughed at us (a lot), winked, posed for pictures…. How are we still alive? 
- After a good few songs L was on the catwalk looking back & waving my sister so she held up a sign we’d made in the q asking him to sign our shirts. Hilariously my sis was too busy being overwhelmed that it was upside down cue much hilarity as L tries to get her to turn it round. 
- In anticipation of him actually signing them, my sister took hers off so she could throw it on stage (she had a vest underneath, don’t worry!) & L noticed during Little Black Dress and as soon as the song finished came charging over to tell her to ‘bloody put it back on’!! He seemed personally offended that she was no longer rocking Donny Rover chic. She was filming at the time & just dropped my phone in shock (yes, my phone, my very expensive iphone!!). Hilarious video of that!
- A couple of songs later Niall (god bless you, Horan!) took matters into his own hands, saw our sign and asked us to throw our tops up. I’ve never taken a top off so quick in my life! He put them in a neat little pile for Lou with a pen (!). L was laughing ‘Niall, you bastard!’ and Niall was like ‘I’ve promised them now!’. Amazing. So, at the next break L signed them for us (’Louis, 28 xxx) & made sure they got back to us safely & then demanded we put them back on! I couldn’t be happier. We’d hoped he’d spot us in them but didn’t dare hope he’d actually sign them. I am so, so grateful. And Niall, I owe you a favour!!
- In other Louis news - he’s as absolutely glorious as ever. So, so beautiful. Funny, bantering, filming with his giant phone, so much interaction with the crowd. Loved being able to hear him off mic (telling Niall ‘I’ve lost me fucking phone, mate!’). He’s on such good form. He seems truly happy. Until some folks threw water at him. He retaliated and thew a whole bucket over them at the end of the show. Oops. 
- On a related note my sister has joined the dark (or sunshine?) side of the fandom and replaced her H blowing us a kiss photo on her phone home screen with L. That’s what our Louis interaction at the Apple Music Festival and a signed shirt will do for you. Such is the Tommo charm.
- Harry. Harry. HARRY. Looked amazing. Sounded even better. Have I mentioned I love that top? Draped himself over us. Loved having him sing ‘Perfect’ just in front of us. Bounced around as if there is nothing at all wrong with his foot. Watched on fondly as we lost our shit re L signing our shirts. Sang to whoever had the rainbow flag on the other side of the stage (hello! we say you!) and caught the flag, waved it & threw it back. Hilariously told us what he loves about Dublin. Tried to destroy my camera with his water throwing. I love him.
- Niall. I am so, so proud of Niall. He was in his absolute element. Everyone around us was there for Niall. The crowd loved him. He loved the crowd. ‘Act My Age’ was INSANE. 
- Liam is seriously rocking his vocals. Man, he sounded good. I have no idea what he & Lou were doing with that packet of biscuits (which hilariously said on them ‘For Louis, we love you. Not for you, Niall. ?!!!?!!!) but it seemed to amuse them greatly. They were so funny snapchatting.

All in all the best I have ever seen the boys. They seemed happy and well (broken bones aside) and looked like a team. I am so blessed to have been front row and shared that gig with them. I am bloody knackered but on an absolute high. Next stop: Sheffield (sob!).  

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I swear this was one of the most epic moments in my life.


This past week has probably been the most successful and freakishly fun Little 500 that I’ve attended in the past 7 years.  I don’t think you guys understand–Little 500 is the biggest party in Indiana and one of the most well-known parties in the nation.  BUT with that being said, I would never road trip 14+ hours to spend copious amounts of money on booze and illegal substances in fucking Indiana of all places.  Especially if you never were a student or aren’t a real hoosier or don’t have more than one friend that goes there.  Anyway, I’ll get back to this point in a little bit.

I FUCKING KICKED IT WITH SCHOOLBOY Q AND SMOKED AN INFINITE AMOUNT OF WEED ON STAGE AND ON THE TOUR BUS! Literally the most epic moment of my life (and no I did not hook up with him–I’m not a fucking “groupie”).  I have some pictures and some shitty videos to show you guys later.  He’s such a down to earth, dope dude.  He even gave me one of his hats and my SWEG has turned way the fuck up.  It’s pretty cool that I can call Q a homie now and I can’t wait to chill with him again in LA.

Back to my real life with friends though…I don’t think you guys understand how happy I was to be reunited with some of the greatest friends in the world.  The whole week was a little bittersweet though knowing that it was my last Little 500 ever and that in 2 weeks, I’ll be watching my best friends graduate and go their separate ways.  Oh and on top of that, I totally met the cutest boy ever and I’ll be seeing him again for graduation…except he’s graduating and also going his separate way…so yeah, that’s going to go no where.  Bummer.  But a girl still has to eat ;) *creepy, slutty, wink face*

I don’t really have any interesting news except for the fact that I successfully avoided running into ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’.  I found it extremely odd that he road tripped all the way to MY STATE and MY SCHOOL to attend something that he really knew nothing about.  My friends saw him a few times at the bars and texted me to let me know so that I wouldn’t end up there too.  I don’t know if you guys follow either one of us on twitter but if you do, you’d notice that he indirectly responds to my tweets that have nothing to do with him and/or subtweets about me.  Apparently he was also constantly tweeting his whereabouts while he was in Bloomington too…  I’ve blocked him from all my social media, so I can’t see his tweets but people are always messaging me or tweeting at me when they notice what’s up.

I’m just glad that this week is over.  I was stressing the fuck out about running into him because shit this past month had gotten real creepy, real fast.  I don’t care if you guys think that I’m a heartless bitch or that I suck or that I’m a cunt…you were never in my shoes dealing with the odd, ironic, fucked up bullshit that I was dealing with.  Now I can finally wipe my hands clean and move on from the situation–and hopefully will not have him anywhere near my vicinity again.

I fell for the wrong person.  He could be someone’s 'right’ person but he wasn’t mine.  I’m not sorry that I feel this way either.  It was a lesson learned.

I think some of you can definitely relate to that.

Anyway, I hope you all had such an amazing week and weekend.  If you have some crazy stories that you want to share, I’m totally game to read them.  I’m pretty sick so I have nothing to do at the moment.

Much love xo.