Summary: Post Civil War Tony feels he deserves everything that
is coming to him. Being his own worst
enemy and locked in his own head will he grab the small ray of hope or will he
drown himself in self-pity?
A/N: This is the first of my little somethings for @yellowtheremarvelfan and her amazing celebration challenge. It’s a bit of a rewrite of a Dean fic (like a
complete overhaul) and I warn you that it is a little angsty but for those of
you who know me I couldn’t resist a fluffy ending.
had been blasting classic rock constantly in the lab for the past few days
which was a sign to everyone to steer clear, that’s if anyone was actually
there anymore. The songs, although each
with a kicking beat and some epic drum and guitar solos, all had a theme. The singers were pouring out their hearts and
though the name of the girl was always different the sentiment was the same,
each bringing back memories of that one girl they had once loved and had
lost. The unspoken thought that maybe
life would have turned out so differently had they just held onto her and Tony
sat at a console with this head in his hands, eyes closed as he fought his
demons alone. His eyes flickered up to
the bottle of scotch. It would be so
easy right now in his sleep deprived state to just drown his sorrows, numb the
pain so he could just pass out and get some rest.
“Not like that” Your best friend Ashton giggled. “You have to hit the bass drum first!” He sat in front of you, on the other side of the drum kit, showing in the air how you should do.
“I don’t get it!” You slammed the drumsticks on the drums. “Which one was the bass drum again?”
Ashton pointed at the big drum that you should hit with your foot. You focused on the drums and tried again, but just as before you got it wrong. Hopelessly you looked up at Ashton, just to realize he was laughing at you. You threw one of the drumsticks in his direction.
“Don’t laugh at me!” you demanded. “I’m actually trying!”
He giggled. “I know you are and you’re actually doing great.”
You raised your eyebrows. “Are you kidding? I’m the worst at this stupid instrument and you know it, no need to lie.”
“You’re not the worst you just need a little practice.” He picked up the drumstick you had thrown at him and came to your side of the drums. “Here, let me show you.”
You got off the drum stool and gave him the other drumstick. He sat down and slowly went through how to do it. He explained for you, but you found it hard to focus on the learning when the hottest guy on the planet actually was your teacher. He ended his whole mini-lesson with an epic drum solo, just to show off. You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hold back the smile that spread on your face.
“Okay drummer boy, let me try again.”
Ashton smiled at you and got of the stool. He stood behind and watched as you tried to do everything that he’d just done. This time it went better.
“Hey you’re learning!” he proudly exclaimed. “Now you know how to handle the bass drum so it’s just the arms left.”
“And what do I do with my arms?” you asked.
He made a gesture towards the drums. “May I?” You nodded and got of stool but he stopped you. “No don’t get up, I need to sit behind you to show this.”
A bit surprised you got back on the stool, but this time on the very front of it. You felt Ashton sitting down behind you, wrapping his arms around you. He placed his hands on top of yours and started showing you how to do. You listened to his voice but you couldn’t focus on the words he said. The only thing existing was his muscular body that was so close to yours. You let your imagination wander. You thought about his messy hair, wondered what it would feel like to run your hand through it. You thought about his lips, wondered what it would feel like to kiss him. Wondered how it would be to have him as your boyfriend. No wait, he was your friend. Just your friend, not your boyfriend.
“Y/n, are you even paying attention?” Ashton giggled and interrupted your thoughts.
You blushed in embarrassment. “Oh, um, yeah sorry. Can you repeat it?”
He ignored your request. “What were you thinking about?”
“Nothing I just… nevermind,” You spoke fast and tried to change the subject. “How do I do this drum thing again? This one first or that one-“
“Y/n, look at me” he interrupted once more. You slowly turned towards him and saw his face which now was serious. “What were you thinking about?”
You stared into his eyes. His wonderful eyes full of life and joy. You knew how much he cared for you, how much he wanted you to be safe. During your whole friendship you had always had a crush on him but have never told him. You were too afraid to ruin your friendship, too afraid that he’d think you were weird, but most off all you were afraid he wouldn’t feel the same way about you. You’d held your feelings back so long, and you were tired of it. You wanted to tell him, you wanted him to know, you wanted him. “You”, you breathed in a whisper.
“What?” Ashton looked surprised.
“You,” you said again, a little louder this time. “I thought about you.”
Ashton didn’t say anything. He just stared at you as if he was trying to process what you just said. You heard his breathing get heavier. Slowly he brought his hand closer to your face and gently touched your cheek. After what seemed like an eternity he let out a whisper. “Y/n…” It wasn’t much, just your name, but all the feelings it contained made it so strong. All your attempts of self-control were razed. You both reached for each other and before you knew it his soft lips were against yours. His hands were placed on your waist and he pulled you even closer while you ran your hand through his hair, just the way you had dreamed of before when-
“Well this is awkward,” Calum said from behind you. In panic you and Ashton pulled away from each other. Ashton let out and embarrassed giggle and you blushed like crazy.
“What’s awkward?” you heard Michael ask as he also came in the room, close followed by Luke. As they saw you and Ashton they both grinned.
“You two enjoying yourself over there?” Luke asked with a huge grin on his face which made you blush even more.
Calum laughed and started ushering the others out of the room. “Come on guys, let’s give these two lovebirds some privacy.”
As they shut the door you turned to Ashton again. “So um, what happens now?”
He smiled at you. “Now you’re my girl.”
Pleased with the answer you came closer to his face. “Well, if you insist,” you smirked and kissed him again.
Alexis is studying at Paige’s and his mother is out with
potential investors for her school, leaving him to his own devices. He should
use the time for himself, maybe even revel in it by walking around in his
underwear and playing video games late into the night, but his daughter will be
home at some point, so the former is risky, and the latter lost its appeal
after an hour and a half. Gina would say he could write, but he can’t right
now; he’s at an impasse and his characters are taking their sweet time telling
him what they want to do.
Instead, he uses the time to think about her. About the kiss
she pressed against his mouth as she said goodbye exactly nine nights ago, and
the travel coffee mug she’s presented to him every morning since. He thinks
about the smiles she’s offered since then; sweet, devious, maybe even a little
promising, like she’s in on a plan and she’s waiting for him to catch up. He’s
only able to come to one conclusion:
Something has changed.
Exactly what is
still a mystery, of course, because he hasn’t seen her outside of work since
that night. It hasn’t been his choice, and for the first few nights he could
assume it wasn’t hers either, but every night since then makes him wonder
what’s going on in her head.
Sitting in his office, he toys with the idea of calling her.
If not to find out, just to see if she’d like to come over and split dessert
with him. Even that’s potentially too much, too forward, but something is
different with them, with her, and maybe it’s time to push a little harder. To
stop feigning sleep and open his eyes.