epees

  • foil: hit them only in the midsection, and use a right-of-way system because this is a sport, not a duel. No double touches because someone had right of way.
  • sabre: hit them above the waist. you can use the whole blade, that's fine, but let's keep things managable and use right-of-way. Don't do that weird "back foot in front" thing. No double touches.
  • epee: just fking hit the dude and we'll give you a point
reasons why fencing is the best sport
  • swords
  • you can use the term “en garde” in context and not sound like a dork
  • if one of your teammates pisses you off you can legally stab them
  • wearing fandom stuff to tournaments results in about 5,000,000 compliments
  • you can literally be any body type and be good at it, i’m 5’1 and chubby and i win almost all my matches
  • knee-highs
  • did i mention swords?
  • build friendships by stabbing each other
  • stabbing people is a good stress reliever
Fencing Valentine's Day Lines

Warning: These are insanely stupid and I’m totally going to hell for half of these

•I hope no one foils your Valentine’s Day

•I’d like to saber this Valentine’s Day with you

•I’d like to see your flèche (yes I got nothing that has epee in it)

•I’d like to touch you on and off the strip

•I really know how to use my fingers (too much?)

•I’d really like to hook up with you, both ways

•I may be a A ranked fencer, but I’m an R rated lover

•I could hit you with my saber but I’m looking to score off target 😉

•What does epee and our date tonight have in common? You can put it wherever you want

•I’ll trade you a touch for a touch 😘

•You’re parry important to me

•Babe you’re like Leon Paul, everyone wants you

• Not even my fencing equipment can protect me from falling for you

•Our love is like a red card, I’m always gonna get a touch

•Babe our relationship is like Leon Paul, you look nice as fuck, but you’re expansive as sh*t!

•You can’t disengage around my love

•My sex life is just like an old foil, it’s just a little rusty

•I bet you’re as good down on your knees on strip as you are off strip

•You look beautiful wearing white, going up the strip, but how would you like to wear white going down the isle?

•Your love is like a mask clip, it’s always flying away!

•Babe you’re like a nice pair of knickers, I could see myself in you

•Love, we’re like a body cord and a reel, were connected

•I bet your yell is even better off strip

•Babe you don’t need to wear protection it’s not like fencing, I won’t hit your head, but I’ll definitely give you some (too much?)

•Tonight will be like point of line, you advancing all over my sword

•Our sex life is like a cross-step, you just came right into me (yea ok that was too much my bad)

•Babe you’re like a parry repost. You’re the priority

•Our sex life is like a fencer who flicks, half the time it’s gonna get on my chest, but once and a while if you’re lucky, you’ll get it on my back (ok these are getting too inappropriate…..my bad)

•If you like the bruises you get from my blade than I can give you a bunch more with something else

Teaching defensive actions in fencing

Paraphrasing Zbiegniew Czajkowski

It’s no good to show a student every parry and only then move to bouting. We must show a few fundamental strokes so that pupil can participate in practice bouts or drills in bout-like conditions. In epee: we start with parry six, circle-six parry, or stop hit against low line, and that’s enough for the student to participate in bouts.

First we practice by announcing attack. Then we do the same by not announcing the attack, so student must choose the correct action based on the attack the coach executes. 

All movements should be very real. It’s no good to give the student the blade. The attack should be such that if the student doesn’t react, they get hit.

The coach chooses a reasonable speed, depending on the level of the student. When we teach and coach in a realistic manner, we don’t only teach the movements, we teach students to read opponent’s movement, to distinguish simple attack, compound attack. What they have to do: parry or counter-riposte, step back or step forward. It is very very important.

The student must hit the coach. The student must learn to hit reasonably and realistically. It’s not reasonable to train by pulling all hits and not touching the opponent. The student hitting or getting hit is feedback. If the student reacts and executes correctly, they should hit. If they don’t, they should be hit.

The variants of technical skill should be practiced as soon as possible. It’s no good to always practice against the same attack to the same target. The attacks should vary even if the action is exactly the same. So even if the parry is a hengen vs an oberhau (or circle six vs attack to high inside line), it should be done with various angles and choice of target. 

Things We Think of During A Bout:

•Why is this ref so bad?

•Where the hell is my coach?

•Man I should’ve packed a Gatorade

•Why does my opponent keep hitting me in the fucking leg!?! How bout you pick somewhere else that isn’t completely ridiculous!

•Hey that fencer over there is pretty hot!

•Dammit this ref must hate me

•Why are my socks so dirty?!?

•Why the fuck are my socks falling down?!?

•My blade has a weird bend that won’t come out ahhhhhhhhhhh

•I’m going to fucking lose this bout

•Is my phone in my pocket……?!?!?

•Ok you have the lead don’t fuck it up….. You fucked up

•No matter how stupid the calls are that the ref is making try not to strangle them!

•Thank god for the break! My nose was itchy as fuuuuuuckkkkkk

•I really need to pee

•I have a wedgie like a motherfucker

•Why is my opponent yelling when that was obviously my touch, fucking dumbass

•Dad stop yelling along the sidelines what I need to do, my coach is literally right next to you

•Where the fuck are my parents

•How the hell am I suppose to get to 15, this is gonna take too long!

•Wait where’s my coach going?!? I can’t do this without you, ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

•Don’t get emotional during this bout, knock it off!!!

•We get it you’re aggressive, but that doesn’t mean you have to scream…. Jerk

•Omg my glove is so sweaty

•I’m honestly starving

•That totally wasn’t my touch…. But I’m not gonna tell the ref that

•Why is her coach telling her an entire sequence of things to do against me? They realize I can hear….right?

•I need to sneeze…

•I swear if their body cord goes off again I’m going to rip it out of their jacket and slap them with it

•It’s your weapon that’s not working, how is this a mystery gahhhhhhhhhhhhd

•hey I think my ref kinda likes me…..

•wait a second what did coach just tell me to do like two seconds ago…. WHY AM I SO FORGETFUL

•no I don’t have a dead spot, you’re just really bad at controlling your blade

•did my opponent just sass the ref? Omg I’m gonna win this!

•holy sh*t there’s only 40 seconds left!!!!! F**************ccccccckkkk

•who the hell is screaming?!? Where’s that screaming coming from?

•wow, I can see my opponents face through their mask…. They look really angry or like they need to take a shit

•omg let’s try something new in this bout… Why did I try something new in that bout…

•hahaaaaaaaaaaa I only have one touch left in order to win!!!!!!! (1 min later) how did I fuck that up?

imaspoonnotafork  asked:

What sport(s) would each person from Hamilton play? I think Herc would play football...

Alex

  1. “Is debate team a sport?”
    1. “No, Alex, you have to do a real sport.”
  2. really wanted to play basketball but he was too short and didn’t make the team :(
  3. ends up on the track team because he loves running and he’s really good at it
    1. runs super fast
    2. runs after jefferson

Burr

  1. Soccer!
  2. Was really unsure about joining the team 
    1. SUPER scared at the try-outs 
    2. went home really sad thinking that he didn’t get on the team
  3. Made it onto the team!
    1. super excited when he found out
  4. goes to every single practice and just loves it!! so much!!!

Lafayette 

  1. FENCING 
    1. Epee 
    2. HATES sabre
  2. SUPER GOOD AT IT
    1. this boy is jumping around doing flips and spins and his opponent is just like ??? help
  3. yells at opponent in french which makes him even more intimidating

Mulligan

  1. Football!!
    1. super good at it
    2. always catches the ball
    3. LOVES being on a team
  2. Instead of calling the ball or communicating with his words 
    1. he just yells “BRAH”
    2. constantly
    3. confuses the heck out of the other team
  3. Designed new uniforms for the team because the old ones looked bad and were constricting movements
  4. Spies on the other team to figure out their strategy 

Jefferson

  1. also, “Is debate team a sport?”
    1. “No, Thomas, you have to do a real sport.”
  2. Tries out for the basketball team with Alex
    1. makes it because he’s really tall
    2. and is really good at basketball
    3. alex is really sad about it but always goes to games to cheer on his boyfriend watch Jefferson fail
  3. LOVES pre-tournement pasta parties
    1. always makes mac and cheese

John Laurens

  1. Baseball
    1. looks super good in his uniform 
  2. Also started a badminton club sport??
    1. and so many people LOVE it
    2. but it falls apart after he has to leave it because of his heavy class load :(
    3. but then he comes back and it’s better than ever!
  3. Kinda a mom-friend, wants to make sure that everyone has equal playing opportunity and feels great with his friends succeed!
    1. extra happy when alex succeeds
    2. also wants jefferson to fail

George Washington

  1. Captain of the Football team
    1. super inspiring
    2. doesn’t always know what he’s going
    3. really good at motivating his teammates
  2. has lots of school spirt too!
    1. makes sure his friends all come to the game 
    2. completely decked out in school spirtwear 
      1. face paint and all
  3. Really good at football!
    1. him and Herc work really well together
  4. Cheerleaders all love him
    1. alex wanted to be a cheerleader 

Foil: for normal people whom want to fence
Epee: for vicious murderers whom try to stab your kneecaps and fingers and head for fun
Saber: for people whom are possessed by an actual demon and frankly terrify me