Much like their predecessor Unicalf, Unitera are extremely small creatures, but are amongst the most threatening and aggressive. Their speed, thick dermal armor and pronounced single horn make them a formidable opponent, but it is their spiked antenna and tail that makes them a creature not to be trifled with. Generally unpredictable, packs are formed as a marriage of convenience, often breaking up after a single conflict. When together, they can quickly overwhelm even the largest of creatures.
I was sitting at a restaurant bar, alone, on Labor Day Weekend. It was a Friday night. I made it clear to the bartender that it was my decision to go out to dinner alone. My adamance revealed my loneliness. So he made it his job to make me laugh. It was a nice night. And it was capped off by one of my favorite compliments of all time, solely based on its genuineness. One of the waiters working the tables came over to me and said, “I’m not making a pass at you, I just had to tell you that you are so beautiful.”
I’m sure I blushed and said thank you, but I really don’t remember. All I can see from the moment is how stunned he looked, saying those words to me. I lingered over my tab when it came, but that waiter didn’t appear again. I tucked the compliment into my heart for a rainy day.
Three weeks ago, I went to that same restaurant bar with friends for a special shot they make. We wanted to start our night off big. That same waiter was there. We recognized each other, I blushed. I blushed making eye contact with him while another man was confessing he’d had feelings for me for years. I was so uncomfortable, and the lack of tact this person had in their delivery made me sick to my stomach, accusing me of ignoring him and leading him on. I’d only ever known him as a remote colleague. And there we were, his heart on the table and my eyes on the waiter in the back.
I excused myself to the restroom, pulled myself together, and walked out right in the waiter’s path. We paused.
“You know, you could have made a pass at me that night.” My words lingered in the air. He sighed heavily.
“I would, but I can’t.”
I nodded. There must be a girlfriend. I smiled, tilted my head down and touched his arm, “thank you, anyway.”
Sunday, for brunch, I went back to that restaurant to meet family. Family I’d never known until I met them for dinner this past Friday. As soon as we walked in, there that waiter was, looking as dashing as ever. Wide-eyed and goofy-grinned, we said hi. He sat us and asked if we’d like something to drink. I blurted out, “mimosa,” like it was mandatory.
“Can I see an ID?”
My clutch was already open and I pulled out my New York license with red hair. He leaned down to me and whispered, “I know you’re 21 - I just wanted to know your name.”
He is a waiter who keeps me waiting.
Marites and I were out the other night, and a mutual acquaintance came in up in conversation. His name is Andrew and I can’t stand him. He’s arrogant, he’s smug, and he thinks he walks on water. And I told Marites in so many words, some of them foul. She laughed.
“I think you like him.”
“What? No. I don’t like him. I opposite of like him, I detest him. Someone needs to slap that little grin off his face.”
“Oh my God, you totally like him.”
“I do not.”
“I bet he’s great in bed.”
“No, all he’d be good for is throwing you against the wall, turning you on to such a degree that you go to town on him and then he’d be all ‘thanks baby’, kiss you on the forehead and leave, guaranteed.”
Clearly I had thoughts on this man.
Without warning me, Marites texted him. She told him she’d met the girl of his dreams. He said, “doubt it.”
An OkCupid guy asked me to hang out on Sunday. On Sunday, he never called.
Lessons: Sometimes when fate seems to be making mischief, it’s not. You’re just a girl that a guy with a girlfriend finds attractive. Or he’s just a punk and you’ve already learned that lesson. And you’re fine as you are, and he’s fine without you there. All you can do is take care of yourself. Not every asshole is a great guy waiting for the right girl to show him the way. Not every star-crossed love is meant to be a lover. And not every good intention is worth a fourth chance. Everything starts to shimmer when you’re dying of thirst. It’s not about reformation, bad timing, or lost numbers - this is about knowing what’s good for you and what’s not. This is about being more complicated than a Kate Hudson script. Your time is worthwhile, and predictable stories with cliche characters aren’t. Focus on you, because the more depth you give the main character, the better the story gets.
You’re not a TV show. You don’t need to tie up every loose end with a proper conclusion. This is life. People don’t bow and say, “The End.” They come and they go and they come out of the wash cycle with stains and crumpled dollar bills. Maybe in two years, I’ll run into that OkCupid guy in Prague when we’re both trying to find ourselves. Maybe that jerk will pull me out of a burning car someday. Maybe he’ll will come out of a coma in three years and spend another trying to track me down. But maybe not. And it’s because of that ‘maybe not’ that I spend my days on maybe’s I have the ability to make into probably’s. You’re writing your story, so have the courage to keep searching for the right cast, or suffer from endless sequels with a main character you never even liked.