My theory is entropy.
This isn’t supposed to make sense.

That’s the only way I can find to explain you. Explain that I am…
While you remain safely on the shore, wondering why I’m all wet

Some stories just don’t have endings–the dissipation of matter beyond its present state, expanding further and further into the far reaches of the unvierse.

I can’t figure this out. I can’t figure out why I can feel all of this, can feel my very atoms being rearranged into loving you, and not be loved back.

I can’t figure out why I’m getting torn apart by the very force that holds humanity together.
How is it that I can go through so much in life, and I am defined by my capability to feel this kind of pain? How is it that I could tell any story, but this is the only one I can’t stop telling?
I know I am contributing to the flux of the universe,
with every broken line.

I am matter, I matter,
my mass
is equal to
the weight of the words you say,
the ones I write
My volume is
the sound of my heart breaking.

entropy–How you have undone me,

—  Entropy (II)

Ask Ethan: What Was The Entropy Of The Universe At The Big Bang?

“The common understanding of entropy and time implies a very low-entropy state just after the Big Bang. Yet, that moment is often described as a “soup” of photons, quarks and electrons, something that, by comparison with everyday textbook examples, seems very high entropy…. How is that primal state low-entropy?”

The universe was born hot, dense, expanding, full of matter, antimatter and radiation… and in a low-entropy state. If entropy is a measure of disorder, though, that sure does sound like an awfully high-entropy state, not a low-entropy one. So why, when we talk about the Universe, do we say that the early Universe had such low entropy? The answer has much more to do with a comparison to the entropy of the Universe today, as well as in the far future. Today, the entropy is some quadrillion (or 10^15) times larger than it was around 13.8 billion years ago. And if we extrapolate into the very far future, it will be another 100 quintillion (10^20) times bigger than it is today. But what’s responsible for the difference?

It isn’t stars, galaxies, gravitational clustering or any of the other major changes you probably imagine. Find out the answer on this week’s Ask Ethan!