This happens more in the middle of the stack, because when there’s a balance between judging functions, it can be harder to tell which one you or someone else is using due to the constant interaction between them. The more functions in-between two judging functions, the more noticeable the imbalance.
Sometimes, with characters, you just have to ask (when the functions are far apart), “Okay, is this person being so rational that the problem here is his emotional understanding?” or the opposite – “Is the person so driven by what they want on an emotional level, there is not a lot of rationality behind it?”
In the middle of the stack, you have to ask, “Does this person strike me as a feeler? If so, why? If not, why?”
FiTe comes across quite differently than TiFe; FiTe is all about staying true to one’s inner principles or beliefs, and using Te to interact with the world (being concise, authoritative, blunt, and not really caring after a certain point what anyone thinks of their decision or assertion). TiFe is about internal consistency and appealing to others through shared principles, which means the healthy TP has a more playful but also “polite” veneer than the “harder” FP. The TP, after all, wants you to like them so you’ll discuss with them what they like to discuss, and they won’t have to deal with your pesky butt-hurt emotions at all.
“Now performing was no longer about trying to harness a cursory attention or to be a distraction.
Sleater-Kinney allowed me to perform both away from and into myself, to leave and to return, forget and discover.
Within the world of the band there was a me and a not me, a fluctuation of selves that I could reinvent along the flight between perches.
I could, at last, let go. For so long I had seen the lacking I’d been handed as a deficit, my resulting anxiety and depression were ambient, a tedious lassoing of air.
But with Sleater-Kinney I stopped attempting to contain or control the unknown. I could embrace the unnamed and the in-between. I could engage in an unapologetic obliteration of the sacred.
Singularities had always been foreign to me, and where and who I came from was rife with dualities, a mesh of conflicted and diluted selves attempting to cohere, failing on account of an inarticulate denial.
Fortunately, music granted me both an allowance of and a continual engagement with the ineffable. I also, for once, felt a part of something.
The inexplicable is its own form of freedom. Belonging is not a form of restriction. We can’t name the feeling but we can sing along.”
Sources: video, text: Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl (Carrie Brownstein, 2015)
Why is it way easier to identify functions and enneagram in others than it is to do so in ourselves?
Because our self-perceptions are often wrong, and sometimes veiled either through an unwillingness to admit to our failures, or a self-critical over-emphasis on our failures, but we are more easily able to pinpoint others’ weaknesses and strengths objectively.
I thought I was 6w7 1w2 4w5 but I realized I easily lash out and not always feel guilty about it, sometimes I do, when I realize I was wrong and sometimes I don’t at all!
Would a 1w2 feel guilty if they were right on the issue, and the other person were wrong and needed corrected? Nope. You lack a 9 fix, therefore there’s nothing holding your 1 back from correcting others. Also, a 6 core is the most volatile head type – it’s inconsistent and contradictory, and leading 1, will still get angry and emotional and expressive, especially with an extroverted 7 wing. Plus, if you’re a counter-phobic or an SX (which I see you are from deleted stuff)… you’re not going to be as passive or concerned with guilt as a 1 core.
I identify to both 1 motives and 8 motives but I don’t feel the need to contain myself in the fear of being evil but because it is not always appropriate.
Ask yourself if at your worst, you’re an angry judgmental control freak, because other people are incompetent fools who can’t do anything right (1) or if you’re a defensive, belligerent jerk who has to have CONTROL in every situation because NOBODY ELSE CAN EVER BE IN CHARGE (8).
[… deleted stuff]
[if people] would say that I can’t do something I feel that switch inside of me and think “oh really? watch me then I’ll prove you wrong, don’t underestimate me, don’t tell me what to do”
That’s Fi, not necessarily 1 or 8. ;)
Is there actually a way for an ENFP to be sure of their enneagram or will I be doubting everything I was sure about for the rest of my life?
You’re doomed to a life of indecision and doubt.
I’m kidding. ;)
I’d say look at the reasons WHY you doubt. You doubt so heavily because you are an anxious 6 core who is worried about getting it wrong (possible 1 fix). You said (in the deleted stuff) that 6w7 is 80% of your personality. So you can be sure of that. The odds are good of you being a 1w2 instead of an 8 fix. As for your heart type… think about how you react on an emotional level. I know your Si is crap, so it’ll be hard to look back and remember, so pay attention to doing it NOW. WATCH YOURSELF RIGHT NOW.
I’m about 98% of my entire tritype now (after six months of deep searching) and it’s because I’ve started noticing daily interactions, how each comes into play.
6 sp/so - scans for potential danger, reacts badly to any threat to my financial stability, wants to be liked, is aware of social norms; w7 sp/so is funny, makes everything into a joke, draws attention away from negative disruptions, wants to and actively plans things to look forward to.
1 sp/so - has strong opinions about right and wrong, gets on self and others for bad behavior, tends to be judgmental and always feeling people ought to strive for their better self; w9 sp/so wants to avoid conflict, so sometimes will repress strong judgmental statements out and about / filter them, tends to be passive and aware of being ‘trod upon’ and not care for it.
3 sp/so - needs to produce and set goals, meet them and find something new to achieve, doesn’t understand their self-identity or emotions a lot of the time, likes to subtly make an impact without drawing too much attention to oneself; w4 sp/so adds a need for authenticity in my artistic endeavors, doubles my desire to move away from intense emotional relationships (sx blind, 3′s get uncomfortable the closer people get to their secret self, and 4′s pull away from others), and tends to be dramatic sometimes.
So, as you can see, I’m fairly confident of mine… despite having a 6w7 first, so there’s hope for you. If it helps you, write things down as you go through them, think about them as they happen, and see if they fit with each of your fixes. You may be over-complicating the system. If you strip it down to what each function WANTS – what do you relate to? When struggling over my heart fix, I kept falling back on 3′s fear of failure and then ignoring it, because the descriptions of 3 weren’t quite right… but in the end, I don’t like failure and I’ve always made decisions that suit how I want others to perceive me, since I’m more about DOING than the who of myself.
I’m really tired of always doubting, and I do that with so many things [..] I bother my family and friends with many questions in which they don’t see any interest,
I understand. I drove my family and friends crazy too. It’s… well, the fun (not) part of having terrible Si and being a 6. My advice is to start trusting yourself. It’ll be scary as hell, but you’re better at this than you think. Go with your gut, not outside opinions or influences. What does your gut tell you?
Based on behaviors that everyone of these types do 100%(yes that’s sarcasm).
INTP: Stay awake until you no longer have the willpower to control your train of thought. Search up various advanced theories, preferably science or psychology, on wikipedia until you’re convinced that time is a dependent variable and you are a sociopath. Compensate with hot drinks.
INTJ: Spend all of your money on technology, video games, and music. Stress out internally over every situation. Be extremely competent when it counts but oblivious when it doesn’t. Hide all of your emotions from everyone, save for maybe 1 person if they’re lucky.
INFP: Always look on the bright side and try to uplift others, with bonus points for being very physically affectionate towards your friends. Pick up some assorted hobbies or interests and select a few topics at random to be unnecessarily stubborn about. Harbor immense pain and wait for someone to ask you what’s wrong.
INFJ: Develop obsessions with multiple TV shows on Hulu and Netflix. Find a way to both be successfully productive and procrastinate. Listen to everyone’s problems. Flock to people you admire and absorb everything you like about them into your personality.
ISTP: Refuse to let anything properly anger you and take everything in stride. Be honest and forthcoming about what you think. Express your opinions loudly and definitively. Feed off of success and knowing exactly what you’re good at.
ISTJ: Claim to have no feelings. Climb a tree and sit there to write poetry, paint, feel sorry for yourself, and cry. Deliver perfectly timed comebacks and one-liners with ease. Become obsessed with honesty. Start thinking in patterns. Plan a murder.
ISFP: Say everything on your mind regardless of how others might perceive it. Have good, pure intentions. Avoid focusing on anything for longer than 15 minutes. Travel a lot, for the experience, for the aesthetic, and for the ability to bring it up every 5 minutes when you get back.
ISFJ: Help anyone and everyone who needs it. Always look put-together and calm, even if you’re stressed out. Make witty/judgemental comments under your breath that no one hears. Stay out of drama. Keep most of your feelings from people.
ENTP: Refuse to commit to anything for longer than your attention span. Always have a comeback or witty response. Develop excessive confidence and ambition to mask any inner turmoil or insecurities. If someone asks you what’s wrong, avoid answering by quoting memes.
ENTJ: Attempt to control everything around you. Take the lead in organizing group plans. Aggressively take care of everyone. Push yourself to the point of having lowkey breakdowns and zero free time. Create your own sets of standards for things, and your own exceptions.
ENFP: Become overwhelmed by life. Identify as a partial introvert. Have a love-hate relationship with parties because you want to socialize but not all of the time. In fact, be conflicted by most things. Avoid hurting people’s feelings whenever possible. Somehow always look perfect, even when you’re not trying.
ENFJ: Write an entire story, but without any regard for conventional grammar. Master the “sour grapes” mentality. Always have energy, even when you’re tired. Make friends with everyone. Start listening to country music.
ESTP: Stop reading this post. Go skydive.
ESTJ: Erase any impure thoughts from your brain. Get a job that pays well and is traditionally acceptable. Go out of your way to help people and expect nothing in return. Take control of any projects that people aren’t doing perfectly. Have only perfectly explainable and rational feelings.
ESFP: Attend a party. Socialize with everyone and relish being the center of attention. Judge people, especially fake and self-centered people that make drama out of everything. Love observing the drama those people create. Planning and facebook are your new drugs.
ESFJ: Wear only light and pastel colors. Invite everyone to your parties because you don’t want to leave anyone out. If you aren’t in a relationship, desperately long for one. Become extremely salty. Try not to let people know how much you want their approval. Also, you’re now a mom.
INFP: They’re fierce - INFPs often remain silent and are very observant of other people and what makes them who they are, but this apparent softness hides a very passionate drive to do what is right, and if ever a situation or a person does not align with their principles, you will definitely know about it - do not underestimate them.
ENFP: They’re very analytical - Yes ENFPs can seem a little crazy and like they’re constantly fooling around, but it is to be remembered that this type is extremely perceptive of their environment and of ideas, that they dissect carefully and draw conclusions from. They have true depth, and labelling them as shallow would be a big mistake.
INFJ: They’re quite independent - It may sound strange but INFJs are quite independent. They strive to help people to be better individuals and to make the world a nicer place, but they follow their own rules and will not hesitate long to react if you go against them. Harmony is their priority, but don’t you cross them. The difference with INFP is that INFPs will simply see this other person who does not conform to their vision as not really worth their time, INFJs on the other hand trying to change this person’s mind-set for a kinder approach, etc.
ENFJ: They struggle - ENFJs are probably the most disorganised of all J-types, and they take on sometimes way more than they can carry. Even if these guys try to help people as much they can, sometimes it isn’t enough and that can go against them. The bubbly stereotype does not apply to all ENFJs unfortunately, since they can get depressed easily, and thereby stop their advising functions.
INTP: They really care - INTPs can sometimes seem off and uninterested, but this most-likely comes from a system of self-defence to prevent them from harm, as they may have been previously neglected for their ideas or conceptions of the world, and have been misunderstood. If an INTP likes and cares for you, there is nothing they would not do, and their aloofness is not to be taken as pride or smugness (although sometimes they like to be ;) and they genuinely care.
ENTP: They’re just feeling half the time - ENTPs are absolutely mind-blowing master concealers. Their emotions get triggered by the littlest things, and they spend a lot of their time, if not almost all of it, concealing what they perceive as weaknesses under fair amounts of witty comebacks and confidence. These people are actually great empaths, but their chosen priority being logic, they often toss those feelings away for later, and often avoid them until it’s too late.
INTJ: They have feelings - Similar to ENTP, except INTJs truly master their emotions, and manage to chanel them instead of shutting them away. INTJs have a good deal of feelings, except they don’t necessarily feel the need to talk about them, and prefer rational advice when considering their emotional needs, which is seldom given. INTJs openly reject the myth that they lack feelings, and may feel even more misunderstood when they have the impression that they are expressing them, as sometimes they do, but in ways most people don’t perceive because they are seemingly so small, which can be hurtful.
ENTJ: They’re understanding - I’ve said this already, I’m always quite awed by ENTJs, but once you get to know them, they are truly open people. More than once have I heard them give relationship advice, and try to help people understand concepts with detailed explanations and diagrams, they strive for a more efficient and knowledgeable world, which can be seen through a sometimes devoted attitude.
ISFP: They’re not always kind to themselves - ISFPs may appear as charismatic, different, inspired and like they like themselves quite a bit (and that is absolutely great) but sometimes, when their creativity lets them down for example, they have the impression that they are now devoid of their identity, and may feel lost, and even over-criticize themselves. They need to be understood and comforted in their unicity and worth, almost as if they possessed Fe but not quite.
ISTP: They can feel quite lonely - ISTPs love peace and quiet and alone time, but sometimes loneliness can become quite painful. Composing only 2% of the overall population, ISTPs often feel like few if any people actually understand them, and that it may be easier just to crawl back onto themselves and create a shell to self-sustain instead of socialising and creating bonds with people.
ESFP: They’re nostalgic - Living in the moment is often a way for ESFPs to have peace of mind, as their brains are involved elsewhere. Their need for company and action is their way of escaping their responsibilities, that remind them once again that they’re adults or growing into adults now, and that means, for them, that fun is almost over and that they’re going to turn into “boring people”, or be coerced into becoming “normal people”, which their Fi has difficulty dealing with.
ESTP: They value your opinion greatly - ESTPs have strong views on many subjects and they are also very passionate individuals, but boy do they need to be validated. It’s not a bad thing, of course, it’s simply a little surprising (although it shouldn’t be) that someone under appearances so outgoing and frank and sometimes even careless may need approval that what they are doing is good, and that they are accepted.
ISFJ: They’re strong - ISFJs may constantly be trying to please everybody and adhere to everything, but deep down, they know who they are. They know what they like, what they dislike, what they are willing to tolerate, and what they are not. They are capable of enduring so much without ever complaining, and are truly inspiring people, who can talk about anything they set their mind to.
ESFJ: They’re insecure - Organisation and procedure are the ways in which ESFJs try to live by, but it can also truly hide a very anxious nature. Planning is what ESFJs do to prevent lack of resources and preparing ahead to survive is a way in which ESFJs feel that they are under control. Their bubbly nature shows their need to be loved and feel like they have worth. Don’t rely too much on them, although they really want to carry your load with, or even for, you.
ISTJ: They feel misunderstood - Nobody is as organised, structured and rigorous as ISTJs, and the world’ s messiness can be quite overwhelming to them sometimes. That feeling that they’re the only ones holding it all together and getting everything done for everyone can make them feel like they’re being used or that people don’t appreciate them for their true worth, for what they are deep down.
ESTJ: They doubt a lot - ESTJs may appear very confident and they may be your bosses most of the time because they’re great administrators with a plan based on sound facts, but the truth is ESTJs are almost constantly questioning if they’re doing the right thing, and the fear of failure is very much present.
Cares about you but will text you once every three months to talk to you about some random fact they'll have found then and that they want to talk about, will smile if they really like you, but resting bitch face most of the time, will ask awesome crazy questions 24/7, is a loveable mix of purity and mischief.
You never really know if you're friends or not, will cheer you up with memes, if they mock you they like you, either quiet or talks ALL THE TIME, smirks a lot, only listens to drama to make it escalate.
Ultra calm and quiet, will give you the best advice on any given topic, sarcasm buddy, will send you weird videos they find funny, is the posh friend, literally the brains of the group.
Will organise your life for you, knows EVERYTHING, gossip is mental stimulation because it consists in a social experiment, silent in the corner and occasionally pops their head out of The Economist to tell you you're doing it wrong.
Quiet and cute until you get that "wtf happened here, we are so screwed" vibe after they decided it was a good idea to paint glue on the ceiling and throw sparkles at it to redecorate, has lots of feelings, the author friend.
Always prevents you from doing the worst mistakes, sighs but cares, human rights posts on social media, will reveal their secret talent for impersonations when they're comfortable with you, smiles because they have no idea what's going on.
Sets up your playlist for you, makes their own memes, has sparkles in their eyes, hugs some people but doesn't like being hugged back, starts a joke and adorably never makes it to the punchline, is super smart but also very chill.
Glares because they care, makes out they're done with you but they will always be there to listen and to help, "wait, what exa- TOMORROW???", is the group mum although they don't have their shit together half the time.
Is your life saviour, knows everything about everyone in DETAIL, has a secret seduction talent, knows all your flaws and helps you deal through them, posts about how messed up the world is on social media, is never late to any of your appointments.
Rolls their eyes but they still love you, makes and sends PowerPoint presentations of their lives when you live far away, will explain and help you with anything you need to know, has a Five Year Plan for everyone, listens to k-pop and tries to convert you.
Remembers EVERYONE'S birthday, makes cookies, loves the opera, quote their grandparents when giving advice, tells their stories to everyone, organises surprise birthday parties, makes sure everybody gets along just fine.
Is a ball of fluff, has their shit together, loves making aesthetic notes for everyone, "everybody, just get aloooong, pleeeaase?", random cake offerings, knows everyone and everyone loves them but they still lack self-confidence, baby animals posts.
Is the cool friend, always looks on point and advises you on what to wear, drags you to all the parties, is always the friend in a relationship, incites you to ditch class, will listen to your rant, posts aesthetic pictures of nature.
Will not reply to your texts for ages before they need you to come right now urgently immediately, pretends they don't like drama but they do, will always be there for you, McDonald dates, their sense of sarcasm is unrivalled with.
The friend who will convince you to do the most outrageous dare, boasts a lot but it's okay, has 5 passions which have taken over their lives, talks ALL THE TIME, posts cool motorbike stunts or videos of heavy metal concerts.
Drama drama drama, writes poems about their crushes, spontaneously throws parties, makes everyone happy, under constant supervision because they're clumsy, laughs at all the jokes, did I mention drama, the fierce person who will shout at anyone who messes with their friends.