enter it guys!

I decimated this village days ago! Just for you…

If you are or know anyone who is at an airport:

DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR GREENCARD OR OTHER PAPERS! YOU WILL NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO DEMAND THEM BACK.

DO NOT SIGN FORM I-407! YOU WOULD BE WILLINGLY ABANDONING YOUR PERMANENT RESIDENCY STATUS.

TRUST NO IMMIGRATION OFFICER OR ENFORCER.


ACLU HAS SENT OUT LAWYERS. MAKE SURE YOU GET ONE.

Please protect yourself.

EDIT: Also, if you’re a green card resident who is a citizen of or from IRAN, IRAQ, LIBYA, SOMALIA, SUDAN, SYRIA, OR YEMEN:

Please make sure you DO NOT LEAVE THE UNITED STATES UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. YOU WILL NOT BE PERMITTED TO RE-ENTER THE COUNTRY.

In which we go to rescue the rogue's long lost girlfiend...

DM: You guys enter the back room to the warehouse filled with corpses and find a strange lab. Upon the center table is Maldrich’s (Rogue) missing girlfriend. She is currently in a cycle of waking up, screaming, and passing out again.

Rogue: I run up to her and try to snap her out of it.

DM: She shows no response to outside stimuli.

Cleric: I try and identify whats wrong with her.

(Rolls 18)

DM: You determine that she isn’t passing out but dying and reviving constantly. You cannot figure out the spell that is causing this as it seems to be an amalgamation of spells. Needless to say, she is in a unbearable amount of pain as she basically suffers massive organ failure without pause.

Rogue: Oh my god is there anything I can do?!

Cleric: Let me try. I use dispel on her.

DM: Okay roll.

(Rolls 1)

Cleric: Oops…

DM: She blows up.

Rogue: WHAT THE FUCK?

Cleric: That wasn’t supposed to happen…

Rogue: What kinda fumble chart do you use that ends with my girlfriend blowing up?!

DM (laughing): Well, uh, mine.

Fighter (to rogue): Shit man that sucks, I’m sorry. You’re girlfriend was like…a real bombshell…

Rogue: DO NOT.

Say It (Jungkook/Reader)

Originally posted by sugutie

Genre: Smut - Inspired by a fic written by Admin JP + Say It by Tory Lanez.

Words: 7.2K+

Author: Admin Kaycie

Summary: Honesty was a trait you had always prided yourself in being strong in possession of, something your friends and fans all admired you for; so the day you announced you did not like Jeon Jungkook, they knew your words were true.

Tags: Dance room rendezvous, slow and sensual sex against the dance studio mirror wall, etc. 


Keep reading

Supergirl vs. Wynonna Earp

Supergirl Season 2: *seperates Kara and Alex whom relationship is the heart of the show*

Also Supergirl Season 2: *queerbaits with the Sanvers relationship, but gives them barely any screentime*

*Meanwhile at SyFy’s “Wynonna Earp*

Season 2: *Makes Waverly and Wynonna’s relationship even stronger. Wynonna being fully supportive of Waverlys relationship with Nicole. Wynonna’s also very protective of her baby girl*

Also Season 2: *Emily Andras, the queen of the underboob gives the gays everything they want.*

*meanwhile at the CW Writers Room*

Kreisberg enters: “GUYS! SyFy steals the gays from us!”

no, he just likes sleeping with his eyes open while sitting up

Crossed Wires (Cole Sprouse x Reader)

“Maybe something like you really like Cole but you think he likes Lili and he thinks you like KJ and he gets super jealous and idk then somehow he confesses his feelings hehe xx” –Anonymous

Imagine: Ever since being hired to work on the cast of Riverdale you’ve had more than professional feelings for your co-star, Cole Sprouse. His on-screen and potentially off-screen romance with Lili Reinhart complicates things, and you find solace in your friendship with KJ Apa. In the end, everyone’s wires get crossed.


You watched your coworkers Lili and Cole as they did the latest interview in promotion of Riverdale Season 2. The interviewers teased Lili incessantly about “Bughead” and the makeout scene from the Season 1 finale. Cole joined in on the teasing, laughing all the while. Lili blushed, embarrassed.

You leaned against the wall of the viewing gallery, arms crossed. Your eyes narrowed at the interaction.

“Whoa there, Serpent girl,” KJ joked, leaning up next to you. “Getting into your role a little too much?”

Little did the interviewers know that the girl watching from afar was going to be the newest upcoming star in Riverdale as the female South Side Serpent counterpart to Jughead, and Betty’s rival as his love interest. While you were ordered to keep mum on the part until your big reveal, your agent asked that you shadow the others as they interviewed so that you could prepare for the fame that would come with your first big acting gig.

You turned to him, grinning good-naturedly. “Just learning from the best.”

Cole put an arm around Lili and your expression soured. KJ laughed, and you glared at him, hoping the noise didn’t interrupt the recording.

“Would you like to learn from someone in particular?” KJ asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Your face reddened. Part of your preparation for the role included doing a lot of one-on-one character training with Cole to build your chemistry. Cole’s idea of “character training” was not reading lines but instead spending inordinate amounts of time together going on walks, eating out, and other discrete adventures. To make things worse, his sincere blue eyes made your heart jump a little bit more than you’d like to admit.

You knew Cole and Lili were close long before you’d met him. You knew they were “couple goals” on his Snapchat and their relationship on the show was the biggest ship on teenage-targeted television. It didn’t mean you have to like it.

Keep reading

Cool things from seeing the Great Comet live (in no particular order)

SPOILER WARNING!!
Also this is based off my personal experience, so it may be different for others!

—–

-walking through the theatre onto the stage
-old Russian war songs like ‘katyusha’ being played over the speakers before the show and during intermission
-the air raid sirens to tell people the show’s starting
-In the opera how Natasha being in 'a state of intoxication’ involves her seeing Andrey being killed by enemy soldiers
-LUCAS STEELE’S HIGH NOTES
-Dolokhov’s boot strap things that go up his legs
-THE ENSEMBLE
-Balaga being so utterly chaotic
-Anatole’s narcissism
-The whole theatre having a blast during the abduction while violently shaking their egg shakers
-the dumplings
-pages of war and peace being flung at you
-Dolokhov spitting all over Anatole’s face during Preparations
-the costume design
-Anatole flirting with audience members
-Anatole holding the 'WOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHH’ in the abduction for like thirty seconds
-Anatole being drunk basically the entire show
-Anatole
-Hélène’s look of terror when the elopement fails
-MARYA D.
-prince bolkonsky greeting Natasha in his undergarments
-Paul Pinto as the servant during the private and intimate life of the house
-prince bolkonsky hitting his powdered wig and powder flies out
-the opera singers
-Everyone wearing golden bear heads while dancing (I believe during the ball)
-every single one of marya’s entrances
-HÉLÈNE.
-Dolokhov skipping along the stage while screaming at Anatole
-Hélène and Dolokhov getting touchy feely right in front of Pierre
-Pierre basically just being in His study the entire show
-The whole cast running around the entire theatre, including up in the mezzanine
-“TIME FOR CHURCH”
-did i ever mention anatole
-Denee’s childlike innocence as natasha
-Andrey appearing in Natasha’s memories and she always reaches for him as he runs away
-The strobe lights during the duel
-Pierre standing completely still to let Dolokhov shoot at him
-Pierre hunching over before realizing he wasn’t hit
-The costume/prop design during the duel
-some ensemble members being paired with partners of the same sex while dancing
-Natasha poisoning herself with the super electric part of Pierre and Anatole
-Anatole’s green coat (not purple anymore) during the abduction
-Anatole not letting Natasha leave during the ball and they end up kissing
-The audience needing to pass Anatole’s love letter to natasha
-SONYA.
-Sonya taking Natasha’s letter out of her sleeping hand before reading it
-Anatole striking poses when he enters during the opera
-the guy who plays the announcer at the opera/the guy who gives Pierre Marya’s letter is so good
-“what…. whaT…. wHAt…. WHA T?!”
-THE BAND/ORCHESTRA
-the moments that rely on audience participation
-people with eggshakers accidentally moving during a quiet song (myself included)
-Natasha and Sonya’s reactions to the opera
-Pierre basically saying “fuck you” to Napoleon

Everything’s Better with a Beard

Steve x Reader
Smut
WC: 1889
Warnings: Swear words, masturbation, oral sex
Summary: Reader has a crush on Cap and wonders what he would look (and feel!) like with a beard…
AN: I feel like I haven’t been giving Steve enough love lately plus with all the commotion about Cap with a beard, I had to give this a go. Though I will admit, everything is better with a beard…Also, I’m kinda wordy…sorry


It was one of those nights where just the girls were hanging out. It was a rare opportunity and a nice feeling, You were all at various levels of intoxication sitting together around the living room area and conversation flowed as easily as the wine.

“You know, we probably should have made more snacks,” mused Pepper, always looking out for everyone.

Maria and Natasha snorted, “Please,” replied Natasha, “Eating just means less room for wine!” She raised her glass in a toast, “To us!”

Everyone cheered.

“Ugh, what’s with this lumberjack look?” commented Maria, while flipping through the pages of a magazine. “Whatever happened to clean shaven, respectable looking men?”

“Now now,” Pepper scolded her, “Goatees are pretty sexy,” she smirked.

“That’s because a goatee is groomed, but a beard? Yuck,” Maria retorted.

“I don’t know,” you chimed in. “I’m of the personal philosophy that a beard makes everything better.”

Natasha nodded in agreement. “I think some men just suit beards… Though I suppose the true test is if they look good with a beard and without one.”

Maria disagreed, “But beard burn? Eww. I’m a grown-ass lady. I don’t need evidence of my necking.”

You laughed at her, “First of all, how old are you? Who says necking? Secondly, I dunno… there’s something about the roughness of it… All scratchy and manly.” You could feel yourself blushing, as if you had said too much.

Just then, the guys entered the room. You were fairly certain that they hadn’t heard any of the previous conversation. You took a long swallow of your drink, hoping it would cool you off.

The topic of conversation turned to the upcoming mission. You were one of the two remaining behind as your particular skills weren’t needed so you didn’t really pay attention to the conversation. Instead, you casually observed your friends, one in particular, until Natasha elbowed you.

“You’re staring,” she muttered to you.

You felt yourself turn red again. Apparently you weren’t as casual as you thought you were.

Leaning into you, she whispered, “I wonder what Cap would look like with a beard.”

You had often wondered the same thing.

Keep reading

A Lion’s Pride - Sebastian Stan x Reader - One Shot

Originally posted by jugheadcami

Originally posted by hard-on-for-hiddleston

A/N - So i’m gonna be using the same family if you like from I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa. So the usual Reader, Seb and Izzy.

Sebastian is really not happy when he see’s Tom trying to make a play at his wife. Little does he know it’s not like that at all. Major smut fest ensures.

Jealous Seb x Reader

Warnings: Smutty smut smut.

Keep reading

Audio samples of “The Matsuno Family’s Carefree Feeling” (Vol 3 and last volume), written by the series writer Matsubara Shuu. To be released on April 26, 2017.

01. Totty’s Wish
TODOMATSU: That’s why I can’t help myself from relying on you… Sorry about that! Having the reputation of oldest brother must be tough. I’ll ask Choromatsu-niisan this time. See you!
OSOMATSU: Wait, Totty, Totty!
TODOMATSU: Hm?
OSOMATSU: Here. Just 1,000 yen, okay?
TODOMATSU: Ehhhh?! I can have this?! [grabs] Thank you, oldest brother-niisan! No, I mean, Osomatsu-niisan. Sleep well now, okay? Bye!
[TODOMATSU leaves the room]
TODOMATSU: [sighs] And that’s about it.
ICHIMATSU: Oh my god, that was awesome!

02. Sunday Carpenter
CHOROMATSU: Ugh, it’s construction!
JYUSHIMATSU: Ahaha!
CHOROMATSU: Hm? Construction?
JYUSHIMATSU: Whoohoo!
CHOROMATSU: This isn’t construction! It’s him!
[CHOROMATSU runs outside]
CHOROMATSU: Keep it down! What is this?! Hey, Karamatsu! What’s this racket?
KARAMATSU: It’s Jyushimatsu.
CHOROMATSU: Eh?!
JYUSHIMATSU: Ahahaha!
CHOROMATSU: What is he doing?

03. Wake Up Candid Camera
JYUSHIMATSU: [whispers] Good morning.
ICHIMATSU: Morning.
JYUSHIMATSU: It’s five in the morning right now. I sure am sleepy.
ICHIMATSU: Sleepy.
JYUSHIMATSU: But it’s fun.
ICHIMATSU: Loads of fun. I could just die.
JYUSHIMATSU: Then let’s go enter the room.
ICHIMATSU: Let’s go. Let’s kill them all.
JYUSHIMATSU: Yep.

04. A Carefree Feeling
ICHIMATSU: [groans]
KARAMATSU: Hmph! It appears the time has come for me to sing a lullaby!
CHOROMATSU: By the way…
KARAMATSU: Eh?
CHOROMATSU: Where did that idiot go? I don’t see him around.
TODOMATSU: Eh? Oh, Osomatsu-niisan? I don’t know.
CHOROMATSU: Oh really.
KARAMATSU: Hmph! Then when everyone’s altogether, how about me singing a lullaby–
JYUSHIMATSU: By the way…
KARAMATSU: Hmm?
TODOMATSU: What’s the matter, Jyushimatsu-niisan?
JYUSHIMATSU: No, nothing.
TODOMATSU: Oh really.
KARAMATSU: Hmm…
CHOROMATSU: Alright then, let’s ignore that idiot and get some sleep.
TODOMATSU: I’m turning off the lights now.
ALL: Okay.
TODOMATSU: Good night.
ALL: Good night.
OSOMATSU: [enters the room] Hey, you guys! Let’s go out for ramen!

Miraculous Team Post-Reveal
  • Adrien (lying on his bed with his head hanging off the end): So, am I the only one who feels that they should have seen this coming?
  • Alya (playing with all four kwamis on the floor): I don't know. I'm still freaking out that I've been on a team with Chloe all this time. (to Trixx) C'mere baby!
  • Chloe (sat on the couch): I know, I mean, how did I not see that it was you?
  • Marinette (sat against the bed so that her head is next to Adrien's): At least you guys weren't in love for the better part of two years! Alya, stop playing like that with Tikki, she'll never go to sleep now!
  • Tikki: Marinette, I am over five thousand years old and I have protected hundreds of Ladybugs in my time, I think I deserve a tummy rub every now and again!
  • Nino: *enters* Oh hey guys, why are you hanging out withou- *sees Chloe* wha- what the hel- *sees the kwamis* you motherfuckers

not to be a hipster but homestuck was better when there wasnt any welovefine and hot topic and kickstarter. when it was just a man and his computer, and a couple great collaborators, and your ass was keeping a sharp eye on the minuscule god tier hoodie restocks to snag one before they inevitably sold out again. I miss homestuck before hussie took year long breaks and i miss topatoco and i miss the homestuck store and i hate sifting through 8 miles of fanart disproportionately slapped on t-shirts for actual merch that doesnt bring me the same sense of excitement that it used to. it only brings resentment that if i buy something welovefine is going to enter me in a giveaway for squiggle lines drawn by hussie. which is not that funny? that would have probably made me laugh in 2012. but the thing is that you can shit on your fandom all you want when you’re providing good quality content. youre an aloof, eccentric creator. but when we’re all waiting on a game we backed years ago and was promised years ago and was promised for REALSIES months ago, when you’ve cut off all interaction on twitter, destroyed your own forums, and left the one tech guy in charge of repairing the forum to be the SOLE SPOKESPERSON for the state of your company, im not??? going to laugh when you’re like “hey guys enter a contest to win squiggly lines drawn by me!!” 

especially when the incentive to obtain more entries for that “””GRAND PRIZE””” is to buy things from welovefine, to link as many social media accounts as you can, to beg your friends to do the same, to make daily homestuck posts on instagram and then let their system confirm it like a goddamn receipt so it can spit out more entries for your stupid squiggle lines. is it so much work to offer a genuine commission? it’s all so cynical and commercialized which is??? honestly kinda shitty considering how much homestuck riffs on that culture??? 

and at the end of it all homestuck social media (what’s left of it anyway lol) has the nerve to constantly be like “we’re all still stuck here forever guys, right guys? right? right? ….right?” while we all kind of stare at them like a dad trying to use a meme, a meme he fucking CREATED and somehow destroyed. 

Homestuck is truly the ultimate tragedy, the epitome of a great rise and a greater fall, but I’m still waiting on my catharsis and my copy of fucking Hiveswap.

anyway

its 3 am

It’s that time, kiddos: SILLY Star Wars AUs FROM ME!

Rey opens up a car repair shop. She’s tough and she knows her stuff!

Enter prettyboy rich guy Ben:

I don’t know exactly what they’re arguing about here, but it’s something about his car and they both think they know more than the other person. Rey doesn’t even know why he bothered bringing his car in, even though she secretly finds the car very impressive…

At some point, Finn shows up to apply for a job. He really hates his current employer and is looking for a change. Sure, he doesn’t have any formal training or experience, but working on cars as a hobby and tweaking his resume juuuuuusst a bit should help his case. Rey doesn’t have much time for reading resumes, so she gives it the required glance and thinks this new guy looks good enough for the job.

Rey’s got another employee at her shop: a former drifter named Chewie. She doesn’t ask him much about his previous life, but her new customer Ben seems to know him. Chewie doesn’t seem to like Ben much, and the feeling appears mutual. Later, Rey learns Chewie used to work for Ben’s dad, who just happens to own a racing team (and this is sort of canon, too: Han apparently started up some racing team in between fighting in the Rebellion and whatever the hell happened to Ben).

Rey is so cute! She seems like such an extra point nerd in her Before the Awakening story, so I imagine her car repair shop would be super organized.