Neil: “How about you two? How’s the studying going?”
Rowan: “It’s going okay. I think we’re almost done preparing? Right? We only have to make our way through our history book. But other than that, it’s just practicing and reading through our notes to memorize it all.”
Neil: “Sounds like you two are well prepared. Better than me, anyway.”

From the corner of her eye, Rowan saw Juliet smile mischievously and knew that Juliet was still set on making her plan work. Unsure of what Juliet’s actual plan would entail, Rowan quickly tried to end the conversation so they could go home but Juliet beat her to it.

Juliet: “Hey, we were actually just about to leave and make our way home but since you and Rowan live next to each other, you should go home together! I live like 15 minutes away from here, so I wouldn’t have been good company anyway.”
Neil: “Ah.. I’d love to but I actually planned to stay here a bit longer..”
Juliet: “Oh, I’m sure Rowan wouldn’t mind to keep you company for a bit.”

Listened to the 95.5 radio interview. A bit generic for Louis’ standards. But the fact that he journaled daily about 2/3 years ago, taking a picture and writing a little caption about his day, is information I never knew I needed.

The fact that he journaled for six months and then lost his phone is also given, lol.

Oh, what those six months might have entailed. Especially as they were prior to him using IG consistently and were probably meant for his eyes only.

Precious stolen moments with his family and friends? A given. Silly, embarassing or sentimental tour photos? Yep. Strangers who entertained him, peaked his interest or made him laugh? For sure. Tattoo inspiration? Maybe. Posh food that angered him? Probably. Funny signs/billboards? Naturally. Emo closeups of landscapes, sunsets and nature? Of course. Drunken, blurry, confusing pics from a night out? A given. Nudes? Dare to dream.

Monday 21st August//CPA and final session with S

Needless to say that sleep was definitely not on my side last night. I spent a lot of the night tossing and turning, with thoughts buzzing around my head, worrying about this morning and all the things it entailed. It is hard to put into words how I feel about these *goodbyes*, part of me would have loved for me to be in a better/stronger place, however as my team reminded me today: this is not the end but the start of a new chapter. Seeing S for the last time brought up a mixture of feelings/emotions that I wasn’t really sure how to deal with, and as I left the session having said our goodbyes, tears filled my eyes and started to fall down my cheeks. After so many years it was finally time to say goodbye, and it was made harder to know that I wouldn’t be going back to him even if I did use the service again - and I suppose in a way that might be a good motivator, both he and E won’t be there if ever I return (and I really do not plan to!!!), and now is no better time than any to break those ties.

Keep reading

I kind of want to talk more about life in the monastery for Passion and what it entailed living there. The monastery is also known as Dawn’s Light to signify the Oracle being raised there is sort of a new beginning, if you will–another chance and all of that. The monastery itself is large, the closest approximation is to the size of a castle, yet without a castle-like architecture. The location of the monastery is a well-guarded secret for fear of disturbing the Oracle and what the monks do there. The monastery itself falls beneath The God of Creation’s domain since The God of Creation is the reason for the Oracle’s existence, after all. 

The best way to describe the monastery is being very white, which is to say, it is all made of sleek, well-polished marble. The monastery itself is curious, existing in our modern world yet conducted differently. Yes, there is proper indoor plumbing and things of that nature, yet the only technology in the monastery is that of various radios. There are phones for use, yet not actual, personal smartphones, so you can imagine how much Passion had to learn once they decided to leave the monastery.

I’ve referenced various pools throughout the monastery before. The pool are used in worship, frequently, pools thought to be the mirror between our world and the divine. It is common, in Passion’s canon, for past Oracles to use water as a sort of communication with the gods whether it be seeing their faces instead of their own reflection or so on and so forth. So, essentially, water is very sacred and there are pools at several places in the monastery, some outside, and some inside. The most important one, Creation’s Circle, is within the monastery and is actually in the heart of the monastery–its very center. It is not on the first level of the building, however, but actually through the underground chambers. Should one enter it, they will find a deep pool with various lights illuminating it. It is dark in this chamber, not as well-lit as the other ones, and the water is very dark due to the low lighting. At the front of Creation’s Circle is an altar to The God of Creation, their likeness depicted holding The Sword and The White Rose–two of their most potent symbols. 

Keep reading

LEO: You really don’t want to admit it, because it’s a pretty ridiculous thought, but you’re scared of what being fully healed from the heartaches you’ve experienced entails. Because you aren’t sure of who you are when you aren’t hurting and you don’t know how to observe the world with unclouded eyes. It’s okay to be apprehensive of the sides of yourself that you haven’t had many opportunities to become acquainted with. While you may know yourself better than anybody else, that doesn’t mean that you need to be an expert on all things you. It’s okay to still be in the process of meeting yourself and figuring out who you are. You aren’t racing the clock.

VIRGO: You’re finally embracing the things you’ve been talking about doing for so long, but something feels off about it and you don’t know why. Because isn’t this the thing you’ve been working towards? Isn’t this the life you pictured yourself living after pulling yourself out of the gutter and onto the grass? I don’t think it’s right to assume that you’ve made the wrong decision here, but it’s important to remember that not everything you wrap your arms around is going to feel soft and easy to swallow. Sometimes the right decision has to hurt in order for it to be the right decision. Soon you’ll know if there’s anything that needs changing.

LIBRA: I know that trusting your instincts after being led astray so many times is a difficult thing for you to wrap your head around. You’re not the type to forget about the poor decisions you’ve made, or the mistakes you’ve given life to. However, road bumps and wrong turns aside, you are still a person worth listening to. It may seem as though everybody else has a map showing them the route to success and that yours was lost in the mail, but I’m going to let you in on a secret: nobody has a clue, a lot of us are just really good at acting as if we are. You haven’t fallen behind, you’re running with the wolves.

SCORPIO: Everyone assumes that you have a lot of love in your life but, while it’s easy to pinpoint a handful of people that have handled your heart with the utmost care, it’s easier to identify those that haven’t. At the end of the night the latter is what plagues your thoughts and wrings the tears out of your eyes, and admitting to that seems like a sign of weakness. But I want you to know that you aren’t obligated to live up to the expectations that the world holds for you. You’re allowed to make your own goals and visit your own places of interest. And the people that can’t love you for that aren’t people that you need surrounding you, anyways.

SAGITTARIUS: You have a tendency to look for yourself in everybody you meet, stacking your personality traits up like chips in a poker game that you’re destined to lose. The problem here is that in order to do this it involves reducing yourself to the most basic of traits and that isn’t what you are. Just because you can rattle off a list of acquaintances that use humor to detract from a situation in the same way that you do, doesn’t mean that you’re a carbon copy conglomerate of the souls you’ve met and interacted with. You’re unique, and you’re a lot more than simply a list of shared qualities. There are parts of you that cannot be put into words.

CAPRICORN: Has anybody told you lately that they’re proud of you? I know that things have been piling onto your windowsill and that you haven’t had the energy to clean it off yet but you’re still standing tall and you’re still here and that’s something to be happy about. Celebrating the small victories isn’t something that you’re used to doing, but it’s time that you start; it’s time that you open your eyes to all of the things that you do on a daily basis that warrant praise and positive attention. An action doesn’t have to be monumental in order to be important. You do wonderful things each and every day.

AQUARIUS: It’s been difficult to get back into the depths of your passion because there’s a really loud voice in your head saying that it isn’t worth it. A feeling of insecurity welling up in your throat and spilling out of your mouth whenever you open it to speak. Sure, your dream is big. Cynics may have told you that it isn’t worth pursuing. But there’s a reason that you’re chasing what you are, right? It’s because it makes you happy, and it makes you feel whole. And I know that it can be incredibly discouraging to stumble over things you care about, but you just have to keep walking despite all of that. Your goals are worth it.

PISCES: Lately you’ve been haunted by the memories of people that only came into your life to take. The nightmares have become an almost regular guest in your bed, taking the sheets and kicking your shins every night like clockwork. I want you to know that what you need to do in order to gain closure over the unkind past seems terrifying because it is. I also want you to know that you deserve to move on from those that have harmed your growth in the past. It may seem impossible to reach a place of contentment with the situation you’re picturing as you read this, but you’re more than capable of surviving what’s follow you. Allow yourself to thrive.

ARIES: Taking care of yourself still feels foreign, sometimes. Acting adult-like is an oversized jacket that you’re familiar with shrugging off and leaving at home despite the weather that requires its presence. There’s too much societal and social pressure to be fully grown all of the time, in my opinion. Not to say that you shouldn’t be responsible, or that you don’t already take care of the things that you need to, but you’re able to reevaluate what it means to be a successful human being. You aren’t chained to standards or rules or cookie-cutter definitions of “being a grown-up.” Don’t lose touch with the roots that mean so much to you.

TAURUS: Another ending, another heartbreak, another name written through the steam on your shower wall. It isn’t fair that you give so much and still only get apple cores and empty promises handed back to you. I know you’re starting to wonder if it really is a “you-thing,” if the absences you’ve needed to learn to exist around were created by your own hands in ignorance. While most failed connections falter on both sides of a line, that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be mean to yourself for things that aren’t exclusively your fault. Being kind to yourself is a practice that will benefit you more than you know. It’s okay to give yourself a break.

GEMINI: Happiness is a lover that always sends you postcards but never tells you when they’re coming home. You’ve grown so accustomed to their quick scrawl reading “wish you were here” that you can almost predict each cards’ arrival after every new bout of sadness. It feels like your emotions enjoy mocking you a lot of the time, making you cry over your latest heartache while reminding you of the moments in which you felt nothing but pure and unfiltered joy. I can’t guarantee the continuous presence of bliss in your life, but I will say in confidence that it’ll always come back to you. Even when you think it won’t. Especially then.

CANCER: It’s a lot easier to let the dying embers of a fire fade into darkness than it is to stoke them back to life. I know that you’re tired of crouching next to weak flames, watching them flicker and refuse to glow despite your best efforts, and for good reason. Everybody knows that you deserve better from the world, that isn’t a question. How could you, the big-hearted lover of love, be destined for something as ugly as this? The answer is that you aren’t. Large, beautiful, fulfilling things are on their way, slowly but surely. Don’t forget that it won’t always feel like this. You won’t always view happy moments as a quick reprieve from the norm. Promise.


Boston mayor to alt-right free speech conference: The city “does not want you here”

  • Speaking Monday, Boston Mayor Marty Walsh told members of the alt-right planning an upcoming free speech rally in his city that they were categorically unwelcome.
  • “Boston does not want you here,” Mayor Walsh said, addressing those organizing and planning on attending the Free Speech Rally on Aug. 19. 
  • “We’re going to do everything we can to make sure that this demonstration does not happen here.”
  • Though Walsh did not clarify what those actions might entail, the Boston Herald previously reported that the mayor was exploring “legal and tactical options” to prevent the rally following the violence in Charlottesville. Read more (8/14/17 4:15 PM)

I usually don’t like comparing current events in American politics to fascism bc I feel like only 5% of people who do that actually know what fascism entails and the word has been thrown around in political discourse for decades to mean “this person or idea I don’t like” but…….. this is textbook fascism yall……

Topp Dogg’s Hansol came out as asexual and as someone on the ace spectrum that means the world to me. Coming out as ace is different than coming out as gay or lesbian. Not harder not easier, just different. People can understand what is entailed in being gay or lesbian. They may not understand how you can have feelings for the same sex, but they understand the concept of sexual attraction. Explaining to people the absence of sexual attraction and have them constantly questioning you about “how is that even possible?” is exhausting.

I hope you all support Hansol in the days to come and validate his identity because what he did was very brave.

So you’re in a magickal funk. You haven’t done a spell in months, and let’s face it, you’re already exhausted, but the thought of not dedicating any time to your practice is stressing you out more than you’d like. There’s nothing major going on in your life right now that warrants the energy to do a spell or ritual so you’re stuck thinking “why bother?” 

This has been the case with me on more than one occasion, especially lately. I’m sitting here thinking…”man, I learned all of this stuff, had a lot of success and a few failures; I want to do magick but I just…can’t.” I work too much. I’ve got a lot on my mind. Nothing about raising energy and putting it to rest sounds appealing because all I really want to do is sleep. 

I’m sure some of you have read my “Passive Magick” series; if not, here is part I and part II; but what happens if you don’t even have the time or energy to do some of the most basic things I mentioned in those posts (like clean house, cook dinner, or even take a shower)? 

Since this is a personal struggle that I’m sure many of you also face, I’ve had to think long and hard about how I can practice magick in a minimalistic way without giving up all together, so here is what I’ve come up with. 

  • Think of all the reasons why you’ve become unmotivated or uninterested in your practice, and make a list. If you don’t feel like busting out a pen and paper, use the memo pad on your phone. It’ll take 5 minutes at the very most. For me, it’s got a lot to do with work, stress from work, being tired, adulthood in general, personal relationships, and overall worry about the people I love (gotta love being an empath). 
  • Alright, you’ve made a short and simple list of all of the stressors in your life, which might have stressed you out more than you already were, but let’s move on.
  • This next part sounds simple but might end up being a little more complicated than you think - it’s okay, stick with it: make some notes on your list about how to improve those situations, or simply jot down the opposite of what’s going on. For example, I might not be so tired all the time if I got a good night’s sleep - it doesn’t always help, but it might if I actually tried, who knows. I might have an easier time at work if my communication skills were up to par, and if I knew how to handle stress without getting overwhelmed. Home stress may be relieved if I was better organized as far as like, paying my bills early and trying to save money. I might worry less about my family if I visited with them more. You get the idea. Next… 
  • So basically, by listing ideas to combat your stressors, you’ve inadvertently come up with ideas for spells to help you along the way. For me, this entails…
    • an anti-stress spell
    • a communication spell (for both work and interpersonal relationships)
    • a sleep spell (preferably one where I have no dreams)
    • an organization spell
    • a motivation spell
  • You get the picture, I’m sure. 
  • Okay, so now…. you have to do the spells. Ugh. Even the thought of doing such a thing wears me out, but let’s entertain the idea of putting together a multipurpose spell jar. You can easily figure out the correspondences for things like better communication, better sleep, relieving stress, and staying motivated. You might even know a few correspondences off hand so you don’t have to do too much digging for information. 
  • At this point, head over to your spice cabinet, kitchen pantry, craft drawer, or whatever and gather some supplies. Don’t even bother trying to go buy new stuff. Use what you already have, and try not to choose multiple ingredients for the same intent. Just pick one, it’ll make your life easier.
  • Now, anyone who has ever made a spell jar before knows the process of stating your intent as you add your ingredients to the jar. It takes little effort on your part to mumble some words like “ok lavender your job is to keep me relaxed and relieve my stress.” Do this with each ingredient and bam, done. Seal the jar and…then what?
  • Well, what about timing the spell? That part is up to you: you might choose to utilize a certain phase of the moon, or you might not even care to wait until a particular lunar phase because you don’t give two hoots about the moon, at all. Maybe you choose to do the spell at night because for the first time all day, you’re somewhat relaxed. Once again, that’s totally fine. 
  • Okay…but I have to charge this stupid jar somehow. Well, you can lightly channel energy from external sources to power your spell so you don’t tire yourself out and lose motivation before you even begin. Craft a super simple sigil that states “this spell jar is charged and activated” or write that sentence on paper and set your spell jar on top of it. Draw a picture of a constellation or rune that corresponds to power or enchanting and set the jar on top of that. Stick a piece of quartz on top of the jar. Add a little sea salt water to the jar (it’s a natural conductor of electricity and energy). There are lots of easy ways to charge your jar. Done and done. 
  • Alright, my spell jar is made and charged so…now what do I do?? Remember that mundane effort is just as important when it comes to magickal workings. Buy a planner to keep you organized, or open the calendar app on your phone and mark important dates. If you know you need at least 8 hours of sleep to feel energized, then don’t wait until 2am to lay down in bed. If communication is an issue, then actually try to talk to people and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it, especially in the workplace. 
  • These are just examples that mostly cater to my specific and personal situations, but you can easily modify these ideas to suit your needs. One good spell may be just the thing you need to kickstart your practice again, and this method is simple and straightforward enough that pretty much anyone can do it, even on your worst days. 

Good luck. 🔮✨

I want to say I can’t go on without you, but that isn’t true.

I have gone on without you. We have gone weeks and months without talking and I have found myself happy during that time. I thought of you and I missed you, but I also had happiness.

But the thing is I don’t want to go on without you. Even though I know that I am able, and able to happily live a life where you only live in my memories, I don’t want to.

I don’t need you. I want you, and us and our late night talks which stem from fights and end in jokes. I want you to try to make me laugh when I’m so angry all I can see is red. I want to hate you for doing it, for not taking me seriously even when I know that it’s your way to cheer me up and show me you love me. I want the part of us that is so intertwined and impassioned in each other that we can go days without needing another human soul.

You see, I have had life without you, and I know what it entails. I have had adventurous solo road trips and hikes where I sit at the bottom of rocky cliffs staring out at the ocean. I have had drunken flings and nights where my girlfriends and I drink wine until we collapse on the couch. I have laughed without you. I have loved without you. I have had passion with other and I have had heartbreak with others. So believe me when I say that I do not need you, I can do this on my own or with someone else, but you are still a unique and wonderful presence in my life and I want you.

—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write #187
  • Donald Trump: After consultation with my Generals and military experts, please be advised that the United States Government will not accept or allow. Transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. Military. Our military must be focused on decisive and overwhelming victory and cannot be burdened with the tremendous medical costs and disruption that transgender in the military would entail. Thank you.
  • Lemony Snicket: The word wrong can have many meanings. It can mean something is immoral, dishonest, or unjust, but it can also mean incorrect or fallacious. Since transgender troops have been serving honorably and effectively for the past year, and every study conducted by experts has found that transgender individuals are not in any way a burden-- they have minimal impact on health care costs and little to no impact on unit cohesion, operational effectiveness or readiness-- I know it will come as no great shock to you, dear reader, to learn that Donald Trump is here wrong in all forms of the word.
BREAKING: On Twitter, Trump shamefully announces that trans people cannot serve in the US military "in any capacity"
He made the announcement on Twitter on Wednesday.
By Cora Lewis

Cora Lewis at BuzzFeed News: 

President Trump tweeted on Wednesday that transgender people cannot “serve in any capacity in the U.S. Military.”

After consultation with my Generals and military experts, please be advised that the United States Government will not accept or allow……

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump)

July 26, 2017

….Transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. Military. Our military must be focused on decisive and overwhelming…..

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump)

July 26, 2017

….victory and cannot be burdened with the tremendous medical costs and disruption that transgender in the military would entail. Thank you

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump)

July 26, 2017

The policy change comes just one week after the GOP-led US House rejected an amendment to roll back trans military rights, voting down an amendment that would have denied medical care required for gender transition, such as prescription drugs and surgeries.

In 2016, under the Obama administration, then-Defense Secretary Ash Carter expressed support for transgender people serving in the military, stating nothing “but their suitability for service should preclude” them from serving. Most recently, the Department of Defense had slated January 1, 2018 as a date when transgender people could enlist for the first time.

Following the tweet, at least one member of congress reacted in support of the Obama-era policy.

“The arguments being made against transgender servicemembers are the exact same as those faced by women, African-Americans and any other minority groups before they were able to serve in our military,” Democratic Rep. Tim Ryan tweeted just after the announcement, calling Trump’s decision “a disgrace & an insult to countless brave transgender servicemembers.”

With today’s announcement on Twitter that our “President” will deny trans people to serve in our nation’s military, he has proven that time and time again he isn’t an ally of the LGBTQ community at all. This will go down as one of the most shameful and anti-American policy decisions he’s ever made.

Do Remember: The Key to Successful Grifting is Misdirection

The grifter-in-chief, of course, is President Trump. But you can’t be allowed to see the grift or the grift fails. So at every point the act is exposed, misdirection occurs.

For Trump, misdirection usually entails one of two moves:

1. The outrageous tweet/comment – e.g., no trans people in the military. As a tweet. Without context or legal authority. HEY EVERYBODY LOOK OVER HERE!

2. Personnel turmoil. Someone  gets thrown under a bus. HEY EVERYBODY LOOK OVER HERE!

In order to understand the Trump Presidency you don’t need to know much about politics. But Penn & Teller’s “Fool Us” should be required viewing!

Atomic Blonde (and why I’m a Sapphic who adored it)

Okay, first off…WOW! What a ride that film was! After having a full 24hrs  to really digest this film, I can honestly say that this film really blew my  expectations, in so many different ways. Since there seems to be so much  discourse over this film, I thought I would post a POSITIVE list of all the  reasons why this film is as important and special to me as it is, even with  That Scene. As Lorraine Broughton would say, “ Shall We?”

Okay first off, the obvious…

  • 80′s soundtrack with phenomenal remixes.
  • Charlize Theron, playing a truly Bad-Ass Bisexual MI6 Agent while still looking sexy as Hell!
  • The action was some of the best I have ever witnessed!
  • The general setting of this film, Communist Berlin, gives a remarkable window into just what the Cold War in its later stages entailed. The Cold War was perhaps one of the most deceitful wars in history, and when you figure in just how sensitive the situation was, you realize that Every. Move. Counts.

Lorraine Broughton

  • She owns my ass.
  • Again, we have an Openly-Bisexual Female Lead, who’s only main love interest is another woman!
  • Charlize Theron not only did 98% of all her own stunts, but she sustained injuries because of it.
  • I loved her characterization, it was one of the highlights of this film. We often forget that movies like this are hardly ever realistic, but in this film the opening scene is of Lorraine, MI6′s Top Agent, wearily trying to attend to her beaten body. She is barely alive, and as the film goes on we see just how much of a toll her physical and emotional well-being takes due to the nature of her job. As the film progresses we see her grow more cold and disconnected to the point where she is practically numb to those around her (her interrogation, mostly).
  • She wins all her fights, but not without repercussions. Her body takes. A. Beating. And unlike most films her wounds don’t just magically disappear or just “get better”. No, they are there for weeks, in all their ugliness, to display just how vulnerable as a person she is, whilst also reminding those who see her how tough and strong she has to be just to merely survive.

Lorraine and Delphine

  • Okay, first off…OMG THESE TWO!
  • Sofia Boutella was adorable as Delphine, and the way her innocence and naive-ness abolutely melted Lorraine was so cute!
  • The way Lorraine looked at Delphine with such intrigue, and the way Delphine looked at Lorraine with such awe.
  • The whole “Harold, they’re Lesbians”-like scenario with the dude at the bar (even tho Lorraine is Bi).
  • Again, we get another glimpse into Lorraine’s characterization here, which is basically she gets distracted by pretty girls we see that, even though Lorraine is still skeptical of Delphine at first, she very easily falls for her, a softness that we up until that point had yet to see in her.
  • Delphine’s slight hesitance when she gives Lorraine that adorably soft kiss and Lorraine’s shyness in returning it!
  • The way we see Lorraine follow Delphine into a more private place and being so dazed and transfixed by this tiny French Girl is mesmerizing and makes my heart skip a beat!
  • OMG their wicked make-out session and the slamming against the wall and the WHOLE SCENE THAT FOLLOWS I COULD NOT BREATH!
  • “…So you made contact with the French Operative?” “Obviously”
  • Lorraine in nothing but a sweater looking over Delphine as she sleeps-watching, wondering, worrying about what will happen to her.
  • Honestly, them snuggling was one of the most tender moments in the whole film. For once it feels as though Lorraine is being genuine with Delphine, which she picks up on.
  • Lorraine stroking Delphine’s hair while Delphine nudges her head in Lorraine’s neck is so precious. The way Lorraine is so gentle with her and laughs and smiles at her makes my heart melt so much! She cares so much for this one woman she just met and it is so beautiful!
  • Tiny Soft Nose Kisses!
  • The fact their relationship, no matter how brief, is actually a small subplot means so much because it really feels like this was for us Sapphics, despite what happens later.

That Scene among other things

  • Oh boy, here we go. In my opinion, I did not see this as partaking in the horrid “Kill Your Gays” trope.
  • We saw it coming in the trailer you guys, and I was fully prepared for this scenario.
  • She was a naive, inexperienced spy who got too close to Lorraine, and suffered the ultimate price for it. This happened to all of Lorraine’s lovers (although I honestly think she was just using her first one for information, where as she truly cared for Delphine).
  • Delphine Fought. Back. Hard! And she did a damn good job at keeping up. But unfortunately she did not have the skill nor the experience to win that battle. She is not Lorraine, who barely came out the mission alive!
  • This is a spy film about the Cold War, there were going to be many, many casualties. Lorraine (Another Queer) was the only one to make it out alive.
  • When Lorraine found Delphine, I truly felt for her then. This is the first time we see her fully shut down as she Empathetically mourns her girlfriend (which we hardly get to see in general, the LGBT Hero mourning the death of their lover).
  • At this point, after all that she has gone through (the beatings, the betrayals, the loss of intelligence, etc) this is the one thing that finally breaks her, and LORRAINE. IS. FUCKING. DONE.
  • She is done with everything around her, and we see this as she goes from on-the-ground vulnerable to STONE. COLD. NOTHING. And she goes out for blood, and Damn-It does she get it! She shows no mercy for Delphine’s killer, and it is obvious that this is revenge in its most raw form.
  • In the end this is a story about a spy in the Cold War, and in a genre like this things are going to be very brutal. We see this brutality play out on Lorraine, and how it affects her and all of those involved. She made it out with her life, and that was her reward. 
  • So Delphine’s death, to me, was the final Plot Point to move us into the final act, as it was portrayed as the one act of Evil that Crossed That Line, and to further the Characterization of Lorraine.
  • I could go one about the phenomenal action sequences, because I have never witnessed such raw and realistic fighting in an action movie, and to have a Female Bisexual as the lead taking as much as she dishes out was both horrifying yet empowering!

Of course everyone is entitled to their opinion, and if you think this film will seriously trigger you, then by all means please take care of your well-being, because that is ultimately the most important thing.

Was I sad that Delphine died? Yes, of course! Did I see it as strictly because she was gay? No, I did not. Do I see this as good representation? Ultimately, yes because I still felt incredibly valid as a Bisexual in more ways than one with this film, and the last time I felt this good about myself was when I first saw Carol (2015) dir. Todd Haynes in theaters (which nothing will ever top that film).

But for everyone else, please GO SEE THIS FILM. For the one negative we must also see all it’s Astonishing Positives this film has, and for it to get the attention and praise that it has is such a big deal for all of us, because if we show our support for this truly Rare Gem then they will make a sequel, and other films like it! Only then can we move forward!

UPDATE: So I just saw Atomic Blonde today for the second time in one week, and upon my second viewing I’ve come to realize just how much I love this film, and why it beat out my expectations originally! And it mainly falls back to what I discussed earlier, about Lorraine and Delphine’s romance and Lorraine herself, for instance:

  • Again, I love Lorraine’s characterization! Being more aware of the story my second time-round, I got to focus more on Lorraine herself, and I think I underestimated just how cold and numb and positively DONE she is by the “end” of her mission (again, in reference to her interrogation).
  • The physical and emotional toll on her and her body really is just as prominent as I remember, and my goodness I cannot recall another film where I actually left the theatre physically exhausted by what I just watched. Everything she’s endured sort of rubs off on you, and if that isn’t the most engrossing experience a character can portray, than I do not know what is.
  • Delphine and Lorraine, my god I love their relationship! It is the only relationship in the whole film solely built on attraction and Mutual Trust, so much so where they would rather protect each other over their mission.
  • In fact, going in this movie the first time all I was expecting between them was the “One Night Stand” that was so heavily portrayed in the trailers-which I would of been happy with-and, (just like in the trailers) I prepared myself for Delphine’s demise soon after-But we had an entire subplot dedicated to their relationship, right up to the very end!
  • Because of this Lorraine’s and Delphine’s romance felt genuine, filled with love and tenderness and worry and drive to protect each other-and that really is beautiful representation.
  • Which, I believe, is why Lorraine truly shuts down when it all goes south, and why we see the Lorraine we do in her interrogation. SHE IS COLD. SHE IS BEATEN. AND SHE IS TIRED.
  • In the end, I do think she cared more for Delphine than past lovers, which is why she seems so utterly broken when we first see her. She went back to Delphine even after her superiors threatened to end her, and she lied about Delphine to protect her from them, even though she was gone.

Anyway, as you can see this film really did a number on me, and I am absolutely fine with that! I apologize for making my crazy long post even longer, but there were things I still wanted to get off my chest, because this really is a Dream Film-a Queer, Female Lead 80′s Spy Film actually exists, and I think Atomic Blonde really hit it out of the park-and has ruined all other action films for me here-on out!