enough of the books already!

Cursed Child was dumb and here are some reasons why

(warning: spoilers. this probably won’t make sense unless you’ve read the script. far be it from me to recommend this kneazle-vomit of a play, though, so if you haven’t read it, good)

  • the plot is messy, strange, and childish. there’s only one time-turner left!! how will the characters cope when said time-turner is lost? oh lol they’ll just use this other convenient time-turner. for convenient plot points, see also: harry can suddenly speak parseltongue again, because well he just kind of needs to be able to do that
  • Harry cursing “oh dumbledore” without a hint of irony. like really? really
  • the characterisation was a pile of dragon dung and we all freaking know it. let’s break it down into individual characters here because fuck if I can stop at one bullet point for this
  • Hermione: the brightest witch of her age, the constant crusader for the unloved and the unrepresented, whose successful career and capacity for kindness apparently rest in the hands of her romance with Ron Weasley. oh… but wait. it sounds a little familiar, this story. hear me out. let’s see now, a highly intelligent person who falls in love but doesn’t have that love reciprocated, and who then becomes a really fucking mean teacher at Hogwarts through bitterness. sound like anyone we know? fam, they tried to parallel Hermione and Snape. Hermione and Snape. this being the same Snape who sneered in Hermione’s face when she’d been visibly hexed, and made her cry; the same Snape who bullied Neville Longbottom for years, while Hermione muttered instructions under her breath to help him. if you want to tell me that Hermione would ever allow herself to become a Snape parallel then I will kindly invite you to shove a dirigible plum where there’s no lumos solem
  • Harry: when Harry was at his angriest in OOTP, and he’s yelling at Ron and Hermione, there’s one thing we notice. everything he yells is true. he means it. he’s bitter about it and he’s loud and furious, but he doesn’t have the kind of anger that just says anything to cause hurt, that speaks without thinking, not even at this crisis point in his life. are you really going to tell me that the boy who knows down to his bones what it’s like to feel rejected, and misunderstood, and alone, would ever say - even in anger - that he wishes Albus wasn’t his son? I am going to snap wands over this
  • Cedric. and this one burns. because Cedric was brave and he was true, and he had a sense of justice that led him to telling Harry about the way the golden egg worked, and led him to sharing the winning of the triwizard tournament with Harry. he died, he was murdered at the age of seventeen, embodying a sense of justice so strong, an innocence, a goodness. Cedric Diggory - the boy who believed in fairness with an integrity that is astounding - becoming party to the indiscriminate killing and casual torture of the Death Eaters just because he had his head engorged one time… is about as likely as Hagrid stomping on a dragon egg. it’s an insult to who he was and I am going to engorge the entire bodies of the writers of this fucking play so that hopefully they’ll just float away too, with all the grace and likeability of Aunt Marge
  • Voldemort: can we all agree now that Voldemort would not father a child. the idea of him experiencing lust seems out of character; the idea of him giving into a base urge seems more so. it’s too human, too vulgar, too physical; it would associate him with the common and the mainstream in a way that I contend he would find repulsive. Tom Riddle Sr. was trapped by Merope into sex and romance; to have sex would be to bring himself closer to his parents, down to the level of a Muggle and a witch who lacked power and craved love, two things Voldemort could never, ever stand. no. he wouldn’t have sex just because he wanted to; he’d be repelled by the idea. what other reason could there be for him to do the nasty with Bellatrix? to ensure the continuation of his line? that makes even less sense. achieving immortality for Voldemort was always a question of magic, a personal quest. he wouldn’t go for a messy, physical back-up plan. he always thought that he would win. if anything, he would see a child as a future threat, not a security. another being in the world with the promise of his power? he wouldn’t risk it.
  • what the fuck was that trolley witch scene though
  • “for voldemort and valour” are you serious. is there a Gryffindor spy in the Voldemort camp laughing their ass off because they actually managed to get that one through. and are they ten years old
  • overall, the message of the play infuriated me. Delphi was the child of Voldemort, so she was evil. Albus was the child of Harry, so he was good. Scorpius was the son of Draco, so he should have been evil, but Draco’s actually kind of good now and his mother was nice, so he can be good too. where is the complexity? was five hours of drama not enough to find some shades of morality? where is the hope, where is the resonance, in a story that says that good begets good and evil begets evil, and nothing can really change? the Harry Potter book series was about a boy who grew up with something inside him that was utterly evil, and who rejected it, fought against it, changed the path that fate seemed to wish him to walk. not slytherin, not slytherin. we had Regulus Black and Sirius Black, who rejected their pasts, whose heritage and whose House stood for nothing against their principles, their eventual and separate forms of bravery. we had Remus Lupin, who transformed into a monster but never became one, not even after years of rejection and pain. we had the word mudblood, and we watched Hermione fight it, we knew it was ridiculous to label someone based on their blood. and now… we have the Cursed Child. a play which is flat, and stupid, and tells us that your parentage inevitably dictates your character - and that how you’re treated is how you’ll treat others. dear writers, in the words of Albus Dumbledore, you fail to recognise that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be. you fucks.

anonymous asked:

I may be making this up, so bear with me. I (possibly falsely) remember there is a part in on the books (no idea which one, they are all scrambled together in my mind) where Claire is sleeping in a room with a bunch of other women and she imagines someone touching her, but then Jamie shows up and the whole near-ravishing-on-the-staircase scene happens. WHO WAS TOUCHING HER IN THE ROOM? Do we ever find that out??? Also am I nuts? I could swear this happened.

You’re definitely not nuts. It did happen.

We never find out in the text of the books who it was, because when a dark figure of a man makes sexual advances on Claire it’s clearly better to leave it ambiguous. Because hey, it could be her husband or it could be someone else! Who cares! Not important! It’s not like these books have enough issues with consent already. *eye roll of epic proportions*

It turns out, though, that Diana did say the man was Jamie. She said it on CompuServe. Because clearly everyone who reads the books goes to that archaic corner of the internet to seek out the details of the story the author couldn’t be bothered to put into the text because who needs details?! Plot holes are cool! Anyone who says otherwise is a nitpicker! Down with Death of the Author! (Have I mentioned lately that I can’t stand Diana? Because I can’t stand Diana.)

Anywho…

I’ll throw that scene under the cut and then link to the part on the stairs and in the barn.

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  • Draco: I don't know what to get Hermione for her Birthday
  • Blaise: get her a book
  • Draco: She has more books then Hogwarts
  • Blaise: I don't know, ask someone else
  • Draco: fine
  • Draco goes and asks what to get Hermione:
  • Harry: I dunno, a book?
  • Ginny: Just get a really long book
  • Ron: Piss off
  • Pansy: If she was a normal girl I'd say something expensive, but for Granger, just get her a book.
  • Narcissa: I'd say a necklace but you've given her enough already, she likes books right?
  • Luna: Hermiones surrounded by Wrackspurt, I'd suggest a book on how to get rid of them.
  • Draco aggressively pulls hair:

anonymous asked:

There's no advanced librarian spell to remove dog ear creases? Would Rarity know a spell to help with creases maybe?

Of course, I have such spells, but I can’t be responsible for restoring every book in Equestria! Neither can other librarians (not all of which are even unicorns) who have quite enough to do already.

It doesn’t take much to treat a book with respect instead of shifting responsibility onto somepony else to fix the damage you caused. The arrogant laziness to just expect somepony else to clean up the messes you made! “Just use magic, Twilight, you can fix everything for everypony else!” Lovely.

  • Draco: I don't know what to get Hermione for her Birthday
  • Blaise: get her a book
  • Draco: She has more books then Hogwarts
  • Blaise: I don't know, ask someone else
  • Draco: fine
  • Draco goes and asks what to get Hermione:
  • Harry: I dunno, a book?
  • Ginny: Just get a really long book
  • Ron: Piss off
  • Pansy: If she was a normal girl I'd say something expensive, but for Granger, just get her a book.
  • Narcissa: I'd say a necklace but you've given her enough already, she likes books right?
  • Luna: Hermiones surrounded by Wrackspurt, I'd suggest a book on how to get rid of them.
  • Draco aggressively pulls hair:
8

Harry Potter College AU:

It takes Draco a long time before he finds his way to his room on the first day, and when he finally does, he finds another person already in there. The boy is engrossed in a thick, funny looking book and Draco has to cough and ask if the boy is lost or something. Draco isn’t living with a room mate. He’s made sure of such. And yet, the boy isn’t going anywhere.

Harry found his room quickly enough. He’s made himself at home already, packed up his clothes and book and he thinks that maybe he should take a look at all the expensive books for his classes, but… that one he found in the thrift shop yesterday looks so much more appealing… and it’s about magic. He doesn’t have time to read a lot before a stuck-up looking kid pops up in the doorway and interrupts. 

Part 1/?
(Part 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15,16,17,18,19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

(source videos x and x)

PLEASE DO NOT SEE THE MOVIE ME BEFORE YOU. It is incredibly ableist and honestly insulting to the disability community. You want to know why I’m so upset about this movie? When i was about 8 i was doing a back handspring out in my yard and considering i did acrobatics it wasn’t a big deal. However, this time was different, i made a positioning error and would up landing on my neck. When i tried to get up i couldn’t, my legs and arms wouldn’t move. I started screaming and crying and my friends ran to go get help. I remember everything about what happened: my parents on the phone with 911, being in the ambulance, at the hospital in a neck brace getting all sorts of scans and tests done. I remember laying in my hospital bed being quadriplegic and absolutely terrified. My parents thought i would be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life and so did my doctors. It was a miracle when feeling came back into my arms and legs. For those of you who do not know the plot of the movie/book it’s about a man who comes from a wealthy family and is in a horrible accident leaving him quadriplegic. He wants to end his life but his family promises to give him 6 more months and if he’s not happy by then he can end his life. During these 6 months he meets a new caretaker and falls in love with her. The trailers of this movie make it seem as though once he meets her life is better and he is finally happy. However, at the end of the movie he winds up having an assisted suicide his family is happy they no longer need to care for him and he leaves this girl a bunch of money so she can travel and “live boldly” as the movie puts it and it is portrayed as benefiting everyone. All i can think of is some scared little girl in a hospital bed paralyzed watching this movie because she thinks he finds happiness when really he ends his life. I’ve seen posts in the support group i run from disabled people saying this movie plot makes them want to end their lives. Not only that, i received a message on my blog yesterday from a young girl telling me she read the plot of the movie and it made her want to end her life, i talked her out of it luckily but what this movie is doing to the disabled community is horrific. Not only does this movie romanticize suicide it is making others who are disabled want to end their lives as well. If you see this movie you are feeding into the ideology that people who are disabled should all end their lives and the world is better without us. Don’t go pay to see this movie, it’s bad enough this is already a book.

4

the best part about rereading book 1 & 2 was noticing that pattern

Lost - Reid/Reader

You heard the squeak of the door and the jingle of his keys, yet made no attempt to move. Usually, you’d be all over him when he came back from work, this time, it was different. A sense of dread enveloped your body days before his arrival. Your mind struggling to keep up with what was going on in the world around you.

You could picture the smile on his face as he walked inside, placing his messenger bag down by the couch and throwing his keys on the table. By now he would realise something was up and come look for you.

Spencer stood a meter inside your bedroom, looking at your almost lifeless body. You didn’t even realise he was there, instead you seemed to be staring off into space, completely cationic. Body language was telling him a million things right now, yet he promised to never profile you.  

“Y/N?” His voice was ever so soft and almost broke as your name rolled off his tongue. If you were in pain, so was he.

Your head slowly moved in the direction his voice was coming from, finally grasping onto reality. He took long strides to the edge of the bed until he was right in front of you.

He’d been through enough already, you never wanted to contribute to that scrap book of pain.

“When you’re ready, I’m here.” He whispered.

You looked into his beautiful hazel eyes that you adored and your heart shattered further. You let tears roll down your cheeks and into the sheets, uncontrollable sobs coming from your throat. Eyes shutting so tight, never to be opened again. His arms wrapped around your curled up figure, you knew he was only trying to help but he wasn’t.

You could handle his genius babble and his incredibly long work hours, his bromance with Morgan and the late night phone calls, some time it was all bound to go down in flames and maybe this was it.

Spencer had come home 2 weeks ago in the early hours of the morning, exhausted and mentally drained. You’d of course, woken by all the noise and greeted him with a sleepy kiss and cuddles. Falling asleep with his body wrapped in yours, you were convinced tomorrow morning was the right time to tell him. Yet when tomorrow morning came, he wasn’t right next to you anymore.

You found a note saying there was an emergency case involving children and that he’d be back as soon as he could. 2 weeks later and here he was and there you were, except all happiness had escaped your body.  

The abandon sense of hollowness washed throughout every part of your body, resting deep within your abdomen, making you feel  sick.

You wanted to talk, needing to express your emptiness so badly, but finding no voice to do so.  You needed him in a way that was simply not understandable to anyone, not even yourself.

He was talking, but everything he said seemed to slip over you, words twisting into deadly silence, so quiet you could hear thoughts screaming at you. Curling into a ball even tighter, you clenched your stomach with your hand. Spencer pressed his body into yours, slipping his fingers between yours over your tummy. Placing butterfly kisses down the back of your neck,

“You know I love you Y/N?” He hummed softly against your skin.

You simply nodded back. Wondering if he had figured it out yet, after all he was a profiler.

reasons you should be reading the half life trilogy by sally green (a list i am 90% sure ive made before, probably about a year ago. like seriously guys its been a year, get to it already)

  1. witches, but not like conventional witches (also, modern day witches!!!)
  2. bisexual main character like come on guys there are few enough books around with bi characters already let alone bi main characters
  3. sarcastic little shit of a main character too
  4. um hello??? witches???
  5. GABRIEL
  6. sexuality isnt made into a big thing (as in there is no big reveal for it, it just is) aND NEITHER IS IT SOME SUBTLE BULLSHIT THAT YOU CAN EASILY MISUNDERSTAND NO SIRREE
  7. do i need to say anything more?
  8. ITS BEEN OUT FOR OVER A YEAR AND STILL THE FANDOM IS LIKE MAXIMUM 10 PEOPLE AND A SHOELACE
  9. GREATEST FANDOM EVER THOUGH
  10. pls read it
Attempt (Jimin x Reader)

If Jimin’s a fineapple, then you’d just be an apple (and an awkward one, at that).

fluff + comedy, 4.4k words, jimin/reader, high school au


“I need help,” you say with a groan, flopping onto the end of Yoongi’s sofa.

“You need all kinds of help,” he responds, not even bothering to look up from his phone. You make a whining noise, reaching over to weakly slap his thigh.

No, I need your help,” you clarify, shifting your body to a more comfortable position.

“Is it about Jimin?”

You stiffen at the mention of the guy you’ve been crushing on for the last year. You two were assigned as partners for a school project, and he had greeted you with the world’s most beautiful smile and an angelic voice. He was super kind and caring and compassionate and smart and laughed at all your jokes and smiled at all your awkward quirks. Even after the project was over, Jimin still continued to smile and wave at you in the hallways and make occasional small talk during class which sent your heart into an overdrive. Needless to say, you had fallen for him. Hard. Harder than the time you slipped and fell while standing on top of the monkey bars on the playground.

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