Prompt: Yuuri keeps getting mistaken for a teenager. Viktor doesn't know if he should be amused or jealous (´♡`)
The first time it happened, Yuuri came back from the supermarket with an annoyed scowl uncharacterstically carved into his face. He set down the grocery bags on the counter with a dull thud and met Victor’s inquisitive gaze. “They wouldn’t sell me the wine.”
“What, why?” Victor asked, joining Yuuri in the kitchen to help him sort away the purchases.
“They didn’t think I was old enough.”
“It’s Russia, no one’s old enough.”
“The cashier thought I was twelve,” Yuuri huffed. Victor laughed, although with Yuuri’s ruffled hair and glasses, and the fact that he’d stolen one of Victor’s sweaters before heading out, did give his Japanese features an even younger look than normal.
“Twelve with a credit card?” Victor teased.
“I paid cash.”
Victor spent the rest of the day playfully referring to Yuuri as “baby.”
The second time it happened, Yuuri was refused entry to a club in Geneva. It took a lot of very fast French from both Chris and Victor to convince that it was not, in fact, a fake ID.
The third time was en-route to a competition. The person beside Yuuri in the airport lounge had struck up a conversation, and the topic quickly turned to figure-skating.
When Yuuri explained that he was competing, the woman lit up. “Oh, you’re in the Juniors?”
Victor nearly tripped on his way to grab them both some coffee.
The fourth time it happened was, unbelievably, at a bar in Japan. It was in Ginza, high class, and often served lots of foreign businesspersons and thus the normally lax drinking age check was actually being enforced.
Victor could not help but laugh as Yuuri flailed helplessly at what was something that was becoming more commonplace. It took a combination of his US driver’s license and a Googled article about himself to convince the bartender to bring him a drink.
Victor kept chuckling and teasing about Yuuri’s perpetual youth, until a now mildly irritated Yuuri pointed out that neither that time, nor in any of the previous instances, had Victor’s age been pulled into question.
Dramatically put-on tears swam in Victor’s eyes for a moment, before he fired back a comment about how at least no one would notice his hair getting grey with age, however long they spent together.
So I saw a post like this, and I thought “why not?” So here’re my Hetalia body-type headcanons!
Italy : Italy is mostly slim, with a bit of chub around the waist from all the pasta and pizza. Little body hair. 5'7"
Germany : Germany is the buff bara-type, broad shoulders, big chest, the works. Kind of a smaller butt tho. Light body hair. 5'11"
Japan : Japan is short, but lean. Lots of compact muscle, like a martial artist. Little body hair. 5'5"
Romano : Romano is like his little brother, but sliiiiightly more muscular. Probably because tomatoes are healthier than pasta and pizza. Little body hair. 5'6.5"
Prussia : Prussia is like a shorter, slimmer Germany. He’s got beautiful legs. Shaves his body hair. 5'6"
America : America is definitely an endomorph. Pretty buff, but also a bit chubby on the chest, waist, and hips. All that McDonald’s is hard to burn off. Moderate body hair. 6'0"
Canada : Canada is pretty average, barely any muscle mass, and his waist is kind of chubby too. Supple legs, though. Moderate body hair. 6'0"
England : England is slim as hell. Like, almost skinny, but still kinda muscular from his pirating days. Shaves his body hair. 5'7"
France : France is built like a model. Muscular, but not huge. Hairy af. 5'10"
Russia : Russia is sorta like America. But with more fat, and taller. He’s got a big chest and butt. Basically a big teddy bear. Pretty hairy. 6'4"
China : China is like Japan, but shorter. 5'4"
Austria : Austria’s kinda chubby around the waist, but he’s got nice legs. Shaves his body hair. 5'8"
Hungary : Hungary’s got an hourglass figure, but an athletic one. She’s got nice abs. About a C cup. 5'7"
Switzerland : Swiss has got a pretty lean build, muscular, but you wouldn’t know it just by looking at him with clothes on. 5'7"
Liechtenstein : Liech is very smoll. She’s like a fragile doll. About a AA cup. 4'11"
Spain : This man is a supermodel like holy crap. Killer abs, nice, broad chest and shoulders. And of course, an ass so big and round, you’d mistake it for a dwarf planet or something. Shaves his body hair. 5'10"
Belarus : Belarus is pretty slim. Small bust, thin waist, narrow hips. About an A cup. 5'3"
Ukraine : Ukraine’s basically canon with this one. Top-heavy, but probably a bit of a chubbier waist. About a DD cup. 5'5"
Lithuania : Lithuania is pretty lean. Smooth stomach, taut butt. Little body hair. 5'9"
Poland : Poland has a pretty androgynous build. He’s got a small chest typical of a male, a moderate waist, and feminine hips. Also pretty long eyelashes. 5'6"
Estonia : Estonia’s got the typical “hot nerd” build. Meaning, he clearly doesn’t do any sports or exercise, yet he still retains a nice, healthy figure. The nerd doesn’t even need to shave his body hair, he barely has any. 5'7"
Latvia : Latvia is really short of course, but I imagine about 4'9" as opposed to 4'7". Tiny figure, with a small, round booty. Typical shota build. Almost no body hair.
Denmark : Denmark is a buff bara, just like Germany, except he’s got more scars all across his body. He’s got moderate body hair. 5'11"
Sweden : Sweden is super tall and pretty buff, but seems a bit lankier because he’s so tall. Moderate body hair. 6'2"
Norway : Norway is the type that seems skinny under his clothes, but then he takes them off and he’s got these killer abs. He’s got a nice chest and butt. Shaves his body hair. 5'8"
Finland : Finland is very cute and very round. He’s got a soft chest, and big, soft, round stomach, and a soft, round butt. Soft curved all around. Moderate body hair. 5'6"
Iceland : Iceland is a total twink. Small chest, thin waist, small butt. Def a bottom. Little body hair. 5'6"
Netherlands : Ned is really tall, and is pretty muscular, but you couldn’t tell from how he hides it under all that heavy clothing. Moderate body hair. 6'1"
Luxembourg : Lux is built like his brother, but shorter and slimmer. It’s easier to tell he’s muscular though because of those fancy suits he’s always wearing that fit right against his figure. Moderate body hair. 5'10"
Belgium : Belgium’s got a short, chubby kind of figure. Ample chest, soft waist, round hips. About a D cup. 5'2"
Bulgaria : Bulgaria is pretty physically fit, nice abs, broad shoulders. Moderate body hair. 5'10"
Romania : Romania is even thinner than England, with barely any muscle mass at all. Not a twink-like as Iceland though. Little body hair. 5'7"
Moldova : Much like Latvia, Moldova has the typical shota build, but he’s a bit taller. No body hair. 4'10"
Egypt : Egypt is model-like. Far from Spain, but definitely nice. Killer abs, warm, manly chest, nice butt, etc. Little body hair. 5'9"
Cyprus : Cyprus is a bit like Egypt, if not more muscular. He’s also taller than Egypt. Little body hair. 5'10"
Greece : Greece is built like a Greek god. Imagine one of those marble statues with the chiseled abs and killer V-line and broad chest. That’s Greece. Little body hair. 5'11"
Turkey : Turkey is even bigger than Greece, tanner, more muscular, but also has a bit more body fat. Probably hairier than France too. 6'0"
Cuba : Cuba’s got a sort of chubby build. Large, round stomach, soft chest, big butt. Also pretty hairy. 5'8"
Seychelles : Seychelles has a lean, swimmer’s build, probably curvier than Belarus though. About a B cup. 5'3"
Hong Kong : Hong Kong is basically the Iceland of the East Asian countries. He’s got a really thin build, but is actually super athletic. Little body hair. 5'7"
Taiwan : Taiwan looks like she could easily be a dancer. She’s got a slim but athletic build. About a B cup. 5'0"
Vietnam : Vietnam is pretty lean, and has clearly been in a few tough fights that she’s come out on top of. She could probably square up against MMA fighters. About an A cup. 5'6"
Thailand : Thailand has got a pretty hot bod, and he clearly exercises. He’s got the build of a runner, like he does track and field. But it’s actually from dancing so much. Moderate body hair. 5'9"
South Korea : Imagine the typical K-Pop boy band idol. That’s South Korea. He’s got little body hair. He’s about 5'11"
Australia : Australia is super buff. Like, imagine Makoto from Free! So not as buff as say America or Germany or Denmark, but he’s up there. He actually shaves his body hair. 6'0"
New Zealand : New Zealand is pretty slim, but he’s clearly worked out before, so he’s not as slim as England. Probably closer to Switzerland really. Little body hair. 5'8"
Monaco : Monaco has a fairly hourglass figure, sort of like a girl you’d see in a casino in one of those cocktail dresses. About a C cup. She’s actually pretty short though, only about 4'11", but she wears heels often to look taller.
Sealand: Sealand is a tiny shota boy, like super thin and stuff. No body hair (too young). About 4'5"
Wy : Wy is a small girl, really short with a thin build. Probably too young and/or underdeveloped for a bra. About 4'7"
Seborga : Seborga’s built a lot like Italy and Romano, probably somewhere in between the two of them. He’s shorter though. Little body hair. 5'6"
Ladonia : Much like Sealand, Ladonia’s a small shota. He’s taller than him though. No body body hair. About 4'8"
Molossia : Ever since I heard a certain audio post (I can’t find it unfortunately), I’ve imagined Molossia to be a lot like Markiplier. That includes voice and build. Moderate body hair. 5'10"
Kugelmugel : I imagine Kugelmugel to be the smallest of the Micronations. He’s very smoll, only 4'3". No body hair of course.
Czech Republic : Czech has a petite body, sorta like Belarus, but with rounder hips. About an A cup. 5'1"
Slovakia : Slovakia is actually pretty muscular. Not huge by any means, but imagine, like, Haruka from Free!, and that’s what he’s like. Moderate body hair. 5'9"
Read from right to left. I started this little project months ago, so my drawing style is a little different than it is now. As flawed as it is, I’m glad to de kinda done with this, so please, if you enjoyed it, reblog it !
So the idea
is that Russia has been crowned the king-leader-man of a country which HATES
magical people, because their earlier leaders (Russia’s parents) were killed by
them when they tried to take over the country and give themselves more rights
because the cool magical people are always the ones being treated un-fairyly because
that totally makes a lot of sense.
Anyways this leads to them being hunted and murdered because they are bad and
stuff because reasons (totally not just to make sure the less-capable
non-magical people can get more moneys and power because that’s not a motive
anyone has right??)
whole hunting people law was set in place after the king and queen being
magically murdered, and their sorta assistant people had to lead until Russia
got old enough. BUT NOW RUSSIA IS OLD ENOUGH AND GUESS WHAT HE FINDS OUT??
HE HAS COOL ICE POWERS.
in the castle is like “Omg this sucks what do we do” and some people are like “We
gotta keep this family as the ruler, it’s tradition and tradition is a cool
thing.” And others were like “DOWN WITH THE MAGIC MAN” and then there was a
huge killing of everybody because that’s what you do when people try to start a
revolution within a castle. Most of the revolutionary butt-faces are gotten rid
of, but the rare few runs off and escapes and becomes this evil group that
tries to prove the leader is an Ice butt.
Russia is left with the most loyal servants to figure out what to do about
this, and the stress and stuff make Russia slowly lose the very little control
he had before of his magical powers, and he has to lock himself in this private
Russia-face is like “Yo we gotta fix this.” And other people are like “Okay
cool, how about we go get a criminal magic person who can counter your ice
magic and make him teach you.”
and Russia is like “Yeah that sounds safe.”
And that’s what they do.
Then they go to prison and find Alfred who is like this really annoying rebel
butt who keeps escaping the stupid prison. They decide that yes he is the best
option, hooray, and take him to Russia.
they become gay lovers.
make more about this AU, haha, but for now enjoy this little comic if you can!
ALSO SORRY ABOUT THE WALL OF TEXT I SUCK AT EXPLAINING MYSELF SHORTLY.
EDIT 10TH OF 2016: I’m not seeing myself continuing this on my own, so if somebody wants to write about it or draw about it or something, feel free to message me!
Da joke explanation for people who don’t speak russian: “Flug” sounds like russian “флаг”, which means “flag”. Random Person on the first picture asks my self-insert if ey even know how the flag (Flug) of their country looks, and ey point at “russian” version of Flug.
never enough crystal on a leo, never enough kakalin remixes. We get all the golds and we revolutionized RG!! No! no doping, corruption, Gazprom money or BFF Putin, why do you ask ? 5 points penalty !!!
Why do you need apparatus difficulty when you have Deriugina legs™
how many cossack pivot variations does it take to be acknowledged and rewarded ?
uumm that's a nice gymnast you have here, how much ? INQUIRY. Yeah I like to almost choke my gymnasts to death before they perform to remember them I'm a good coach
PARTy music, now you dance!! what do you mean the qualification rules for Rio changed ?
*still does 6 illusions in a row after 18 olympics* now show me your expressive fierce flamenco face
*owes Russia 100K*
We're coming for you medals next quad
SALOME, you'll get heating in your gym when you achieve results *medals at european games and Grand Prix, top 5 in the world* WHaT now you want a physiotherapist ?
South Africa :
No Grace, you didn't deserve to go to the Olympics
The most interesting meet and greet in history// closed RP with @mad-monk-of-russia, @askmyocsandrpwiththem, @thetelepathlana, @harleyquinnasks, @reparo-live-soul, @doctorstrangeaskblog, @i-am-amora-the-enchantress and @scarletdarkholme
Desdie was sitting on the bed braiding her hair, she’d gotten the idea that since she and Grigori were to be married in October that she may as well introduce him to the ones who made up the less romantic but still equally important parts of her life, her friends and her family, her three year old son was staying at her mom’s for the time but she needed to pick him up anyway, she knew how much her mom hated Casper.
She finished braiding her hair, the braid falling in a mesh of her natural brown, plus the blue and green she’d dyed it from her old days, across her left shoulder “Grig, love would you like to meet my friends and family?” She asks him her Green eyes looking at him hopefully before shaking her head and undoing the braid with an anxious expression she then ties it back in a low ponytail and grabs a hair clip and clips the ponytail to her head so it was cascsding down from the clip.