Whenever you are in any state of pleasure—sex, food, money, power, anything that gives you pleasure—meditate on it. Just try to find where is it coming from. Are you the source, or is the source somewhere else? If the source is somewhere else then there is no possibility of any transformation because you will remain dependent on the source.
But fortunately, the source is not anywhere else, it is within you. If you meditate you will find it. It is knocking from within every moment, ‘I am here!’ Once you have the feeling that it is there knocking every moment, and you were only creating situations outside in which it was happening, it can happen without situations. Then you need not depend on anybody, not on food, on sex, on power, anything. You are enough unto yourself. Once you have come to this feeling, the feeling of enoughness, indulgence—the mind to indulge, the indulgent mind—disappears.
That doesn’t mean you will not enjoy food. You will enjoy it more! But now food is not the source of your happiness, YOU are the source. You are not dependent on food, you are not addicted to it.
That doesn’t mean you will not enjoy sex. You can enjoy more, but now it is fun, play; it is just a celebration. You are not dependent on it, it is not the source.
And once two persons, two lovers, realize that the other is not the source of their pleasure, they stop fighting with the other. They start loving the other for the first time.
Otherwise you cannot love a person upon whom you are dependent in any way. You will hate, because he is your dependence. Without him you cannot be happy. He has the key, and a person who has the key of your happiness is your jailer. Lovers fight because they see that the other has the key: ‘He can make me happy or unhappy.’
Once you come to know that you are the source of your own happiness, and the other is the source of his own happiness…
You can share your happiness; that’s another thing, but you are not dependent. You can share, you can celebrate together. That’s what love means: celebrating together, sharing together, not deriving from each other, not exploiting each other.
Exploitation cannot be love. Then you are using the other as a means, and whomsoever you use as a means will hate you. Lovers hate each other because they are using and exploiting each other, and love—which should be the deepest ecstasy—becomes the ugliest hell.
But once you know that you are the source of your happiness, that no one else is the source, you can share it freely. Then the other is not your enemy—not even an intimate enemy. For the first time friendship arises.
You can enjoy anything, and you will be able to enjoy only when you are free. Only an independent person can enjoy. A person who is mad and obsessed with food cannot enjoy. He may fill his belly, but cannot enjoy. His eating is violent. It is a sort of killing—he is killing the food; he is destroying the food.
And lovers who feel that their happiness depends on the other are fighting, trying to dominate the other. They are trying to kill the other, to destroy the other.
You will be able to enjoy everything more when you know that the source is within. Then the whole of life becomes a play, and moment to moment you can go on celebrating, infinitely.