enjoy war

leralynne  asked:

for the 6 sentence prompt meme: jyn/cassian, "trying to pretend that I don't miss you." your writing is so lovely, by the way!!!

Four days after Jyn leaves the Rebellion, and she finds herself forgetting to look over her shoulder. It’s dangerous, and more than that, it’s irritating; she was only with the Rebellion for maybe a month, from the time they picked her off the prison transport to when she was healed enough to leave. Not enough time to get into habits. Not enough time to teach her that there’s someone to watch her back. 

A week out, and she thinks she sees dark eyes under a furred hood in a crowd, and she spins to look–is he following her, she’d told him she’d done her part and honored her father and now she had to be herself, and it was too soon for him to be out of the medbay–but the man is clean-shaven and he doesn’t move right. She shakes her head, and keep going. 

Two weeks out, and she wakes panting from a nightmare–he’s falling and falling and falling and she knows that this time he won’t come back. 

A month out–as long as she’d been in the rebellion–and she sees news of a battle between the Rebellion and the Empire. He’d be healed he could have been there, but Jyn finds herself thanking the Force that he’s not that kind of soldier; he’s probably far from there. And she should just be glad she’s far from there too, safe and living her own life. 

Six weeks out, and Jyn’s business partner has just betrayed her for an extra credit or so. “Doesn’t loyalty mean anything?” she snaps, unsurprised, as she blasts her way out of the melee. The partner laughs. Jyn thinks of passion and principle and what it was like to trust your partner. 

Eight weeks out, and Jyn’s called in all the favors she had under all the names she had. She waits until the bot has left the Corsucant cafe’s table after taking the order, then strides over, sits down in the empty seat, and glares at the man across from her to dare him to say anything. 

Cassian’s lips twitch, but he nods. He looks whole, so unlike when she left; he looks settled and sure and too knowing and true and all the things she’d left behind. “I’m glad you changed your mind,” he says without surprise. 

“Be quiet,” Jyn retorts, though she supposes he’s due a few comments. It’s been two months. 

But Cassian just puts his hand on hers. His palm is warm, his fingers calloused, and Jyn can feel the touch in her bones. “I missed you, Jyn Erso.” 

Jyn can’t look away, from those dark eyes and the way he looks at her, like he understands.

She flips her hand so their fingers can intertwine, and smiles back. 

venusmelody  asked:

Cassian/Jyn + we can do anything

Jyn doesn’t say anything as she sits down next to him. It’s a relief, after the noise of the party; Cassian understands the need to celebrate, but it puts him on edge, the Ewoks’ instruments and the crackle of the fire and the raucous laughter. Jyn’s silence is like a blanket, a safe harbor. 

“You’re not celebrating,” she says at last. Even she’s been at the party, he can see; her cheeks are flushed and her eyes brighter than usual, her leg bouncing with the music. She’s only not at the party because of him. Because she’d come to find him, here on the edges of everything. 

“I…” he trails off. Jyn waits as he chooses his words. “I’ve fought this war my whole life.” He lets out a long breath, and looks away from Jyn, up to the stars. So many stars, freed from the Empire; so many deaths and sins and scars. “I don’t know what I’ll do, now.” 

Jyn snorts like she does when she gets too annoyed at him, and gets to her feet, reaches a hand down to him like she’s ready to help him to stand. “Whatever you want,” she tells him, like it’s obvious. For her, it is–for this woman who only ever does what she wants, what she thinks is right. Then she smiles, almost shy, if Jyn were ever shy, but still boldly staring him down. “Whatever we want,” she amends. 

Cassian has to smile, at that. That whatever happens next, it will be with Jyn. 

He takes her hand, and lets her pull him up. 

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.